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Increasingly desperate Ed Milliband murders nine: still no media coverage. 1
deskpilot3 17.08.13 11:39pm
Outrage As 14 Greengrocers Shot Dead Following Decision To Arm Apostrophe Police

"Over-enthusiastic" apostrophe police officer beats, shoots and leaves...

Titus 17.08.13 11:25pm
Left-hand mouse manufacturer goes bankrupt as porn block takes effect 0
sydalg 17.08.13 11:09pm
Catherine's an Aragoner if she doesn't produce an heir, warns Henry VIII 0
sydalg 17.08.13 11:08pm
God to announce long-awaited Commandments 11-20 exclusively on Twitter 10
bonjonelson 17.08.13 10:31pm
Cameron says 'any day now' for new scandal involving Jacob Rees-Mogg.

More casual racism soon...

deskpilot3 17.08.13 10:09pm
Racist Attack Leaves Fridge Fighting For it's Life - 2

Racial tension is running high in Gillingham, Kent today following what is alleged to have been a racially motivated attack which took place on the town's high street yesterday afternoon. The victim,...

Robopop 17.08.13 10:07pm
Diana Death latest - "may have involved the millinery". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 17.08.13 9:27pm
Al OPecia
Sat Nav companies thrown into panic over location of "Balcombe". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 17.08.13 9:25pm
Al OPecia
God "just doesn't know what to suggest". More soon. 13
Al OPecia 17.08.13 9:17pm
Al OPecia
Tesco Announce First instore Male Comfort Zone

Tesco Announce First instore [i]Male Comfort Zone[/i], As part of the supermarket giant’s reinvigoration of their UK operations, stores are offering an ever wider range of services. Tesco have...

Ian Collier 17.08.13 9:08pm
Audi Recall 10,000 Cars Where Indicator Stalk Has Seized Up Though Lack Of Use 12
Titus 17.08.13 8:57pm
French President tells Ed Milliband that in politics 'one egg is un oeuf' 6
AReader 17.08.13 8:57pm
Russian pole vaulter "tried it once, but didn't like it"

The Russian pole vaulter at the centre of the "gaygate" furore has defended her statements by drawing parallels between the Russian stance on homosexuality and many Western countries' approach to...

SugarTits69 17.08.13 7:18pm
Kevin the Swan
ED suffering footballer comes last at annual KeepyUppy championship

While his team physio is baffled at how he even managed to enter...

Robopop 17.08.13 7:11pm
Police Mystified By Lack Of Abuse Allegatons Against Former-D-J-Turned-Priest 0
Titus 17.08.13 6:02pm
Alien fury as Area 51 declassified

Shape shifting aliens from the Dawn Planet of the outer Dark Reaches have protested to the US government about declassifying Area 51. "We look forward to a quiet fortnight in Nevada each year; it's...

apepper 17.08.13 5:49pm
Lindy Moone
Balcombe Seeks Advice From Egyptian Police On Clearing Anti-Fracking Camp 0
Titus 17.08.13 5:44pm
Met Discovers Old Copy Of Daily Express

Titus 17.08.13 5:41pm
Man With Naff Animal Collection Warned Against Including Small Chinese Dog 0
Titus 17.08.13 3:51pm
Female translator performs cunning linguistic act on behalf of Isinbayeva

More to follow...

Robopop 17.08.13 3:49pm
Lindy Moone
Teenage driver with bad acne receives £6500 on-the-spot fine. 2
FOAD 17.08.13 3:39pm
Ex Radio 1 DJ admits to secret life as celibate monk

Ex Radio 1 DJ Gary Whatson has finally come clean about the double life he led whilst anchoring the nations 3rd favourite breakfast show. Although he gave the impression that he was frothy,...

Andrew Mack 17.08.13 3:27pm
Drug Baron Claims "I Was Threatened"

International drug baron Manuel DeMultimillonario, who owns several mansions in England, Scotland and Portugal, luxury apartmets in Paris, Monaco, New York and London, country estates in Scotland,...

Titus 17.08.13 3:08pm
Lens Cap
Russian athlete fails test for irony 0
simonjmr 17.08.13 12:55pm
Gays are poofs says Putin, and don’t exist in Russia

‘Female’ Russian shot put champion, Fanny Veryharious, famous for her hairy armpits and manly physique, not to mention the bulge in ‘her’ knickers today added his/her weight to the Soviet...

farmer giles 17.08.13 12:48pm
farmer giles
Beetroot farmers going through purple patch. More soon. 2
dominic_mcg 17.08.13 10:55am
Lindy Moone
Study finding people who have more sex earn more "conducted in Soho" 1
sydalg 17.08.13 9:30am
Area 51 contains 'Hillary Clinton's legacy'

The CIA has officially acknowledged the existence of a Democratic focus group in the Nevada desert. Secret footage compiled by CNN and NBC, reveal how voters in 2016 will be wooed by Clinton's...

Wrenfoe 17.08.13 9:19am
Areas 1 - 50 totally pissed off at their lack of profile. More soon. 1
Al OPecia 17.08.13 9:17am