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‘We never visited because we hate The Carpenters’ say aliens

Aliens have confirmed that they’ve never landed on Earth because they can’t stomach easy listening music. ‘We buzzed a Lighthouse Family concert in Tunbridge Wells and thought “Has it really...

DustyBinLaden 20.10.12 6:59am
Justin Bieber Uses Cool Hip Hop Hand Motions to Talk About Dangers of Bullying

Justin Bieber led a seminar at Roosevelt High School in Long Island, NY this week, to discuss the dangers of bullying. Afterwards, Bieber was going to sign autographs but instead was hung from a...

20.10.12 3:50am
Government "looking for buyer" for massive haul of drugs seized in 2012,

A tired-looking government spokesperson today described the frustration felt in Westminster at the news of record drugs hauls in 2012., "I mean.. it's great and all.. but we just have big warehouses...

moanygit 20.10.12 3:41am
Eppur sono plebei...

overheard in Downing Street...

Awkward Facts 19.10.12 11:08pm
Awkward Facts
Smaller iPad, bigger iPhone: gadgets will converge, in 2014, to become ‘iFad’... 0
Tripod 19.10.12 9:48pm
Disatisfied consumers switch from uSwitch

Millions of online users of price comparison web site uSwitch are switching over to rival price comparison websites following price comparisons by other price comparison websites. Online polls...

Dick Everyman 19.10.12 9:37pm
Dick Everyman
Why did the airport traveller cross the road? To get to the check in.

Tenuous neat-o...

button 19.10.12 8:50pm
George Galloway sacks Muslim secretary for sleeping with her policeman husband

Nick Griffin's comments awaited...

PeterB 19.10.12 8:43pm
Docs check was tick box job say checked Docs 0
Drylaw 19.10.12 7:06pm
Czech Tycoon Robert Maxwell falls off a boat... 2
Quaz 19.10.12 6:28pm
Black, Irish B & B owner sued for banning Eric & Ernie sharing a bed

A stroll down a few decades of attitudes...

Lucy4 19.10.12 5:06pm
Vets to be doctored... 4
Tripod 19.10.12 3:22pm
Holidaymakers recompensed by B&B, for getting room next to Nick Griffin...

Kevin Bridges and Barry Cunliffe had their weekend ruined by the antics of Nick Griffin, Chairman of the BNP. “When we booked”, Kevin said, “no-one told us that Nick Griffin would be staying in...

Tripod 19.10.12 3:21pm
Snack food giant launches new line of 'Organic Junk Food' 1
Dumbnews 19.10.12 3:14pm
Nick Griffin to be encouraged to move to Serbia 0
simonjmr 19.10.12 3:01pm
Nick Griffin defiantly tweets the address of the Prime Minister

In an act of defiance against what he calls 'the liberal elite', Nick Griffin has taken to twitter again to publish the address of the Prime Minister. He called for his followers to assemble outside...

Perks 19.10.12 2:55pm
Truebiscuit, hot from Herefordshire

Oxbridge 19.10.12 2:39pm
Serbia banned from World Conker Championships

Serbia has been disqualified from this year's World Conker Championships which kicks off in Accrington Town Hall this weekend. Inspectors from the World Conker Council yesterday discovered gross...

19.10.12 2:37pm
Chelsea goalkeeper has pub named after him. 2
JETFAB 19.10.12 1:44pm
Eighteen Oxbridge students who interrupted afternoon swim let off scott free

A group of eighteen students from Oxford and Cambridge who were accused of interrupting a man's afternoon swim were today acquitted at Isleworth Crown Court. The group, who included seven chinless,...

johnnydobbo 19.10.12 1:43pm
Toast angered by Milliband's comparison to Tory Chief Whip

Toast has reacted with fury to Labour Leader Ed Milliband's comparison to Andrew Mitchell. Milliband has now apologised to "all the British grilled bread community" for inappropriate language. As...

nickb 19.10.12 1:43pm
Government to force dating websites to offer customers the cheapest dates 0
Mandy Lifeboat 19.10.12 1:37pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Gay couple whose address was published by BNP seek refuge in B&B 0
custard cream 19.10.12 1:03pm
custard cream
Damien Hirst's arsehole splits art world

The art world is reassessing Damien Hirst’s arsehole, after it was displayed on a plinth in Ilfracombe. Studded with diamonds and dappled with light, the ring piece dates from his ‘They’ll Buy...

The Bogs 19.10.12 12:40pm
U2 Talk Down New Album

The four members of popular Irish rockers U2 have been unusually candid in a round of interviews given on the eve of the release of the latest album, There's Worse Ways To Kill 50 Minutes. Tired of...

Textbook 19.10.12 12:10pm
Is this the end of the alcove?

Alcoves were once a much-loved feature of many homes. Sadly, that's no longer the case. Since their association with Jimmy Saville, they have gained a reputation as a hiding-place for perverts. ...

19.10.12 12:07pm
Trenton Oldfield's cox soon to be in cockney inmate's boat race

More to follow...

philthefunk 19.10.12 11:49am
An American makes a deposit at the bank... 10
The All New Jeni B 19.10.12 11:46am
Man with sousaphone stuck in backside misdiagnosed with Tubaculosis. 13
bonjonelson 19.10.12 11:07am
Airport check-in ‘nightmare’ family banned from all flights

Following a series of incidents at airports around the world, a family from Stevenage has been officially grounded. A crisis meeting involving representatives from airport authorities, airlines and...

Midfield Diamond 19.10.12 10:53am