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Syria to resettle Scottish refugees

As the prospect of Scottish Independence approaches, UN officials have warned of a ‘flood of dispossessed anglophiles’ pouring over Hadrian’s Wall in search of ‘tepid’ beer, cricketing...

Wrenfoe 29.01.14 2:38pm
Dull Rainy Weather Caused By Solar Panels Wearing Out The Sun 9
Titus 29.01.14 12:57pm
Arsehole co-worker only uses 'regards' for e-mail signature

In a scandal that has deeply affected many work colleagues and clients, Data Analyst Michael Brennan received an unexpected wave of negative attention for only using 'regards' in his e-mail signature...

David K 29.01.14 12:42pm
Britain to host world’s first ‘dry slope’ Olympics

Britain to host 2018 'Dry Slope' Olympics Great Britain is to host the world’s first Winter Olympics featuring a total lack of snow or ice in just over four years time, according to reports....

Gary Stanton 29.01.14 12:36pm
Gary Stanton
Nick Griffin receives MacArthur grant ‘in error’

The MacArthur Fellows Program was forced into an embarrassing about-turn yesterday when it awarded a “Genius grant” to Nick Griffin, Chairman of the British National Party (BNP), in error....

Vulcanised Rubber 29.01.14 12:34pm
Vulcanised Rubber
Scots to continue getting their pocket money after independence . 1
MADJEZ 29.01.14 11:51am
Labour Front Bench botch Away Day at Distilling Industry Convention. 1
blokefromstoke 29.01.14 11:47am
F1 Races to be Held with Cars on Recovery Trucks

After two days of pre-season testing at Jerez in Spain concluded with cars struggling to complete a consistent series of laps, the FIA have announced that races for the 2014 season will be held with...

james_doc 29.01.14 11:39am
Departing Sainsburys chief to take bonus in Nectar points.

More unexpected items in bagging area at 1...

blokefromstoke 29.01.14 11:23am
Oxford's research monkeys may soon run the university

Monkeys used for research in Oxford's animal laboratory are getting so brainy they will soon be running the University. 'It's their close contact with so many intelligent people', said one...

roybland 29.01.14 11:22am
Stonewall to Ukip "You're fooling nobody, Butch "

More unnatural fabulousness at 1...

blokefromstoke 29.01.14 10:57am

Man wearing new 'All Wool' Onsie admits to feeling a bit sheepish...

Njinski 29.01.14 10:52am
Rain Storms Cause Homosexual "Marriage".

"It was too cold and wet to go dogging" said Gerald Longstaff "So me and my partner Kevin Fitzgerald decided to stay in and get married instead."...

Titus 29.01.14 9:58am
Royal Caribbean Announces Name Change to "Traveling Petri Dish"

Miami, FL - Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines anounced today it will be changing its corporate name to "Traveling Petri Dish" in order to more fully covey to its customers the breadth of experience they...

deep trout 29.01.14 6:49am
UKIP deny Taxi driver uniforms to be based on Village People 0
Ref Minor 28.01.14 9:45pm
Ref Minor
Would-Be UKIP Candidate Turned Down For Being 'Normal and Sensible'.

"We have our reputatuon to consider" said Nigel Farage, in support of his party's action. "We can't have deviants like him in the party, causing trouble by trying to spread level-headed common sense....

Titus 28.01.14 8:34pm
Parkhurst To Be First Prison Wth More Prison Radio Stations Than Inmates 0
Titus 28.01.14 8:21pm
People complain about being given "The wrong kind of money"

Nationwide complaints are pouring in from people receiving the wrong kind of money. Everyone on benefits agrees they want money from richer people, preferably at a rate of 50% of what they earn....

vulture1 28.01.14 8:16pm
Welsh DJ Denies Sex With Under-Age Sheep 1
Titus 28.01.14 7:49pm
deep trout
Joe Dolce in comeback with Syrian protest song "Assad-ap-a you face"

Uno, duo, tre, quatro What's-a matter you? Hey! Gotta no respect. Hey!, What-a you t'ink you do? Hey!, Why you look-a so sad? Hey!, It's-a not so bad. Hey! It's-a nice-a place., Assad-ap-a you...

Vulcanised Rubber 28.01.14 6:06pm
Al OPecia
"Walking Dead" Writers Smoke Crack, Kill Off Entire Cast

Hollywood, CA - Hollywood gossip site "Scuttlebutt" has learned this season of Walking Dead will be it's last as every single cast member dies. Talking to writers of the show on condition of...

deep trout 28.01.14 4:48pm
deep trout
Japan Announces Intent to Invade Palau

Taiji, Japan - Looking to capitalize on recent international public relations success over last week's dolphin slaughter in Taiji, Japan announced today its intention to invade and conquer the tiny...

deep trout 28.01.14 4:43pm
deep trout
Billionaire Tom Perkins Tweets Response Over Holocaust Comments

San Francisco, CA - Silicon Valley venture capitalist legend Tom Perkins who came under fire for misguided comments comparing the treatment of the rich to holocaust victims responded to critics...

deep trout 28.01.14 4:37pm
deep trout
Occupants of BB House outnumber viewers. C5 scrap show and build an extension

More Z list frolics at 1...

blokefromstoke 28.01.14 2:42pm
Rich, stupid young man does something expensive and stupid 9
Oxbridge 28.01.14 2:32pm
J Vine
Monk To star In "I'm A Celibate, Get Me Out Of Here". 5
Titus 28.01.14 2:29pm
'12. Years A Gove' up for Awards

British movie '12 Years A Gove' has been nominated for a clutch of upcoming awards. The uncompromising film deals with themes of prejudice, bigotry and ruthless exploitation of labour. Some...

paulo 28.01.14 1:05pm
UKIP sack ‘useless’ members, to save costs of hiring a minibus... 0
Tripod 28.01.14 12:13pm
Strong UK growth figures raise spirits of bedroom tax victims

News that the UK economy grew by 1.9% in 2013 has given thousands of bedroom tax victims plenty of cause for celebration. 'I'd crack open a bottle of champagne if I could afford it,' said Lisa...

roybland 28.01.14 11:48am
NSA concludes we REALLY hate pigs

Years of extensive illegal surveillance of our gaming habits has led to the shock revelation that the public ‘don’t just simply dislike’ hog-kind, but they actively ‘loathe’ all swine and...

Wrenfoe 28.01.14 10:59am