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Pope headhunted by Islam. Benefit package includes 72 virgins. 0
MADJEZ 11.02.13 4:52pm
Boris Johnson urges major export drive of foxes to Romania 0
Dick Everyman 11.02.13 4:18pm
Dick Everyman
Calls for action after repeated attacks by Foxes

Former page three girl Samantha Fox is in custody today after a brutal though apparently ‘not entirely unpleasant assault’ on a 17-year-old boy in London earlier today. This is just the latest in...

topfotogmw 11.02.13 4:05pm
Pope Benedict XVI resigns "to stand in Eastleigh by-election". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 11.02.13 3:59pm
Al OPecia
Infallible man retires due to failing health. 0
MADJEZ 11.02.13 3:56pm
God "probably going to call it a day" as well.

God, the Lord Creator of Heaven and Earth, has announced that in the wake of Pope Benedict's resignation, He too is thinking about 'calling time on the whole creation thing'. In a press conference...

Ablative Fabsolute 11.02.13 3:51pm
Ablative Fabsolute
Pope resigning to become Brylcream spokesman after he's heard shouting Mein Herr 0
One Line Only 11.02.13 3:50pm
One Line Only
Parents' outrage as DNA tests reveal Peppa Pig may be up to 50% horsemeat

Children’s favourite Peppa Pig has become the latest casualty of the food scandal after DNA tests forced her to reveal that she is ‘up to 50% horsemeat’. A tearful Peppa made the admission at...

The Paper Ostrich 11.02.13 3:47pm
The Paper Ostrich
Pope denies resigning for calling an angel at the pearly gates a pleb 0
One Line Only 11.02.13 3:44pm
One Line Only
Philip Pope, The Comedian, Resigns?

Never! He's a first class act...

Jesse Bigg 11.02.13 3:36pm
Jesse Bigg
Much loved satirist prepares to have piss ripped out of him by own footsoldiers in case you haven't heard...

Skylarking 11.02.13 3:36pm
Charles applauds Pope’s decision

Prince Charles has commended Pope Benedict for “doing the right thing” and “letting someone younger have a go”. “In all honesty” he added, “the old fool has been batty for a while now...

lane-avenger 11.02.13 3:33pm
'RC United Manager Steps Down'

In a shock announcement today, it's reported that RC United and their talismanic Manager 'Benedict' will part 'by mutual consent'. Many expected 'Benedict' to continue in the top position for the...

Retuner 11.02.13 3:23pm
Horses "never been angrier" according to GALLOP poll 2
lane-avenger 11.02.13 3:19pm
Contest to become new Pope to be shown on Sky Papal View 0
One Line Only 11.02.13 3:04pm
One Line Only
Tube stations playing classical music see sharp rise in porcelain-penis attacks 1
Qoxiivi 11.02.13 2:58pm
They think its comb over, it is now.

A bitter feud between Footballing legends hit the high court today where the family of former Tottenham Hotspurs and England winger Ralph Coates are claiming the rights for the comb over haircut....

godly1966 11.02.13 2:46pm
Vatican deny reports of Blair/Brown Italian restaurant papal succession pact 0
Nowherefast 11.02.13 2:37pm
Pope to be buried

In line with Catholic doctrine, and despite complaints from the Pope's closest advisors that he is in fact alive and well, the Pope will be layed to rest on Friday in a ceremony to be held in Vatican...

barrowboy 11.02.13 2:33pm
Gove criticises modular Popes. They don't have time to learn the subject. 0
Not Amused 11.02.13 2:33pm
Not Amused
Child finds 'horse DNA' in Alphabetti Spaghetti. 0
malgor 11.02.13 2:22pm
Vatican baker's celebrate Pope Benedicts reign with a Pie Jesus 0
simonjmr 11.02.13 2:20pm
Damon Hill to give 2013 fee to charity

Damon hill has vowed to give his fee to charity if he is offered a drive for 2013. Charities are "not getting our hopes up"...

gwalker2805 11.02.13 2:10pm
Pope resigns 'to spend more time with his choirboys' 0
Oxbridge 11.02.13 2:09pm
Findus unveils new product line

In a publicity stunt sure to win the hearts and minds of British consumers, Swedish frozen food firm Findus commandeers Aintree racecourse to launch it's new "Straight from Stable to Table" range. A...

Tirpitz 11.02.13 2:09pm
Pope to spend retirement smoking dope

God couldn't give the Pope the strength to carry on. More soon...

simonjmr 11.02.13 2:09pm
Pedigree Chum Profits Rise Thanks To 60% Beef Content

In a surprise revelation Mark Hamsey, Pedigree Chum’s chief product line manager, announced a 15% rise in profits for the last quarter. Hamsey attributes the increase in profits to the companies...

Johnny Silvers 11.02.13 2:08pm
Johnny Silvers
Brocolli found to be 100% cauliflower

Tests on vegetables have shown some surprising results. Cauliflower being sold as brocolli and carrots continaing fake tan extracts...

gwalker2805 11.02.13 2:04pm
Pope resigns after choirboys found to contain unacceptable levels of meat 4
rickwestwell 11.02.13 1:56pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Horse scandal: demand by FSA to ensure honest labelling may cause bank collapse

Health expert Gillian McKeith explained to ministers the cause of the crisis in the British economy to be the consequence of an identity crisis of the work force. After all "we are what we eat" (and...

4ty2 11.02.13 1:50pm