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Critics describe Welsh to Ikea dictionary as cwblhau fniss 0
Ian Searle 09.09.13 11:53am
Ian Searle
HS2 to be replaced by cycle path

Following concerns voiced by Public Accounts Committee earlier today, the government has announced that the controversial HS2 project is to be scrapped. Funding will instead be made available to...

Coco 09.09.13 11:53am
TV Commissioners give Fibonacci the green light to start work on second series 4
Ian Searle 09.09.13 10:41am
Not Amused
Singer James Blunt 'prevented World War III' by agreeing not to sing 0
custard cream 09.09.13 9:50am
custard cream
Syria Build Defences Ahead Of Teachers Strikes

Whilst admittedly not renowned for their 'Shock and Awe' abilities, Syria officials have expressed concern over the threat of teacher strikes. Whilst the UN have so far pondered and deliberated on...

Flugelbinder 09.09.13 7:36am
Google driverless rocket lands safely on moon 0
sydalg 09.09.13 5:01am
Foul-mouthed owl nicknamed Tourette Too Woo 0
sydalg 09.09.13 3:43am
Scientist cracks open mystery behind smelly farts 0
Dumbnews 09.09.13 3:17am
Peter Mandelson's Book of Acceptance Speeches to go on sale

Paperback, 480 pages, £14.99, service not included...

Arthur 09.09.13 12:30am
Fans aghast at rumours that Apple product launch will include an electric car.

Clive Sinclair spins in grave...

deskpilot3 08.09.13 10:26pm
The All New Jeni B
Olympic Organisers Deny Fukushima Danger, Announce New Three-Legged Race Event 1
phil_smith 08.09.13 8:15pm
Unmanned Moon mission takes off - astronauts angry

2 astronauts on the Moon are furious that the mission has switched to being unmanned halfway through. One commented, "This is ridiculous; I don't know what the bus service is like from the Moon, but...

apepper 08.09.13 6:43pm
Latest Palace intruder claims to be a member of the Royal Family - more soon. 0
ItsReevesy 08.09.13 6:22pm
Tokyo introduce surfing for the 2020 Olympics. 3
godly1966 08.09.13 6:04pm
Dance hopeful humiliated by being asked to sell extended warranty on £5 toaster 3
ginty 08.09.13 4:25pm
Al OPecia
Tokyo wins race to host eight years of 'cynicism'

The International Olympic Committee (IOC) voted overwhelming for the people of Japan to be the 2020 'torch bearers' for world's 'lack of faith or hope' in the human race. The victorious proposal not...

Wrenfoe 08.09.13 4:15pm
Al OPecia
The Oval to be renamed Flushing Meadows after England victory celebration 0
custard cream 08.09.13 4:06pm
custard cream
Prince Andrew asks policeman 'Do you know who I am'. Wishes he hadn't.

More arrogant tosserness soon...

MADJEZ 08.09.13 3:53pm
Children warned name of first pet should contain 8 characters and a digit.

Popular pet names Rover, Cheryl and Kate could be a thing of the past. Banks are now advising parents to think carefully before naming their child's first pet. For security reasons, the chosen name...

Boutros 08.09.13 1:57pm
Ian Collier
Phil Spencer tells house sellers to clean up their shambolic shitholes

Channel 4's Secret Agent Phil Spencer told the nation's house sellers yesterday to clean up their shambolic shitholes. In a surprise outburst, he broke cover to tell lazy homeowners that a clean up...

Sfox 08.09.13 1:51pm
Prince Andrew criminal empire foiled in Buckingham Palace garden bust

The Duke of York Prince Andrew is facing a series of difficult questions under police caution today following his arrest in a dramatic police hunt that ended in his capture in the gardens of...

Jesus H 08.09.13 1:10pm
Jesus H
Prince shocked as police draw weapons, claims, 'I can get you better than that'. 0
topfotogmw 08.09.13 11:37am
Madrid “devastated” at failure to secure Tokyo Olympics

The mayor of Madrid , Ancora Smitto confessed the city was “saddened” by its failure to win the bid to stage the Tokyo Olympics. “We have a huge infrastructure in place, brilliant transport...

CulchaVulcha 08.09.13 11:23am
Diane Abbott bemused by cheering crowds as she boards Quantas plane at Heathrow. 1
FOAD 08.09.13 10:36am
Man's Abduction By Aliens Described As "Fantastic!" - 2

See what I did there? [i]Now[/i] will wtiters, journaists and commentators stop continually using that stupid, overworked and inaccurate word to describe anything which they are impressed by, and...

Titus 08.09.13 10:34am
Top Lib Dem quits in protest over making party colour "slightly less orange"

Former Lib Dem Minister Sarah Teather has resigned from the party, citing “disappointment” at the party’s decision to make its official colour less intensely orange and “a tiny bit...

nickb 08.09.13 10:07am
Galilee Health Trust: "It's a miracle loaves and fishes stunt made nobody ill" 6
sydalg 08.09.13 9:25am
New case protects your smartphone's protective case 2
Dumbnews 08.09.13 9:21am
Obama urges military intervention in BBC civil war

"We cannot stand idly by and watch this great institution destroy itself," the US president told the G20 summit yesterday. "General John Patten must not let his lust for glory create mayhem, and on...

nickb 08.09.13 9:10am
Prince Andrew Denies Calling Met Police Officers "Plebs" In Palace Gun Incident

Titus 08.09.13 9:06am