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Yew tree smashes boy in face

A Cumbrian Yew tree, which is in no way embroiled in the on-going Yewtree operation, has found itself at the centre of a similar yet very different scandal. The incident occurred when a twelve year...

bobby5fingers 13.05.13 8:21am
Ex-Lib-Dem MP Caught Speeding In Central London.....

His lawyer pleads for mercy. "His first shag, M'Lord."...

Jesse Bigg 13.05.13 8:13am
Jesse Bigg
More Panic-Stricken Tories Hit By UKIP Jitteritus

.."When's the referendum? When's the referendum? Health Secretary to dish out tranquillizers?...

Jesse Bigg 13.05.13 8:02am
Chimp Death to cause new GFC?

Shock waves ran through Wall Street today sending a panic amongst even the most experienced investors, as news emerged that Buttercup - the first female chimp to sit behind the big curtain on the New...

brianflan 13.05.13 7:29am
Judge declares "presence of an ice cream van gives children right to have one".

In a ground-breaking case, a judge has comed down on the side of a children's pressure group seeking to prove that the very existence of an ice-cream van within 100 metres of a family not in a car or...

Boutros 13.05.13 6:17am
NRA criticize New Orleans's shooter for being 'a lousy shot.' 0
Hooch 12.05.13 11:24pm
USwitch user £286 a year better off

Reports are reaching the NewsBiscuit newsdesk of a USwitch user who has saved money. Pensioner Fred Hartley of Eastbourne is said to have entered his electricity use details accurately on the...

Social Affairs Correspondent 12.05.13 10:33pm
Social Affairs Correspondent
Shock as another celebrity tests positive for Werthers Original.

More yewtree soon...

MADJEZ 12.05.13 9:55pm
British Political Party Leader Urges "Don't Mention the EU!"

"I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it"...

Titus 12.05.13 9:18pm
Newsbiscuit Education expert Chris Woodenhead's advice column #1

Chris, My son Alexander has just graduated from Harvard University as Magna Cum Laude with a Starred First Class Degree in Nuclear Engineering. My daughter Abigail got seven 'A's at A level and has...

blacklesbianandproudofit 12.05.13 8:44pm
Police following lead after scrap metal thieves strike church roofs 2
blacklesbianandproudofit 12.05.13 8:04pm
May fly really pissed off that today was its 24 hours 2
A.A.Arkwright 12.05.13 7:59pm
Hammond and Gove encouraged to leave EU any time they like and not to come back. 0
weematt 12.05.13 7:51pm
3D printer produces tank top. Owner claims "the right to bare arms". 3
Maverick 12.05.13 4:37pm
"EU would vote for Gove exit". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 12.05.13 3:22pm
Al OPecia
Programmes infest BBC’s £1 billion London HQ

Staff have recently reported witnessing TV programmes being produced in the BBC’s new central London studios., “We thought all that nonsense had finished when Television Centre was closed at the...

drs 12.05.13 12:26pm
24/7 shops to extend opening hours to 25th July 0
blacklesbianandproudofit 12.05.13 12:23pm
Scrap metal thieves remove irony from Comedy Store 0
blacklesbianandproudofit 12.05.13 11:30am
Cannibal shopkeeper says customers were his bread and butter. 0
sredni vashta 12.05.13 11:16am
sredni vashta
Branson dons pinstripe suit and spends day as a faceless CEO after losing bet 0
ginty 12.05.13 10:00am
Weird Science becomes reality as 3d printers help dorks worldwide create wives 2
victimms 12.05.13 9:41am
Ultimate irony as bedroom tax suicide woman now has another empty room. 0
MADJEZ 12.05.13 9:34am
Red faced journalist accused of lying in the Sun. 6
weematt 12.05.13 8:49am
BBC celebrity accused of consensual sex

A well known BBC presenter, famed for his game shows in the 70s and 80s, is today fighting to save his career after allegedly engaging in normal sexual activity with consenting members of the...

suki 12.05.13 8:29am
Pensions and benefits to be distributed by energy supply companies

In a new move announced by the government today, the distribution of pensions and benefits is to be outsourced to the electricity and gas providers. "The vast majority of all pensions and benefits...

Our Energy Correspondent 12.05.13 7:52am
Our Energy Correspondent
First bad person to die in car crash dies in car crash

Twenty-two year old Lloyd Anthony Banks, the first bad person to die in a car crash ever, died early this morning in a car crash after his Ford Focus hit a tree at high speed following a collision...

Idiot 12.05.13 7:47am
The word 'Facebook' still not recognised on Facebook 0
brianflan 12.05.13 6:59am
“Ohio adopts ‘There's no place like home’ as new state motto”

more later...

Wrenfoe 12.05.13 6:36am
FBI investigate Poison Claim of Wall Street Chimp

Suspicion surrounds the death of Buttercup, the first female chimp to sit behind the big curtain on the New York Stock exchange trading floor and press random buttons to control share prices, as...

brianflan 12.05.13 6:03am
Everton fans experience "slight twinge of regret" as David Moyes goes to Man Utd

48 hours after Sir Alex Ferguson announced his retirement and David Moyes signed up at Old Trafford as the new manager, Everton fans today were characteristically philosophical about what had...

AReader 12.05.13 6:01am