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'Live Each Day Like a Functioning Alcoholic' business book helps you prioritise

A new lifestyle and business book promises to help people concentrate on the basic essentials of life and forget the time wasting stressful distractions of modern living. "Live Each Day Like a...

ronseal 11.10.13 8:29am
WW2 Naval hero, Bosun Higgs, pleased at overdue recognition by Nobel Committee. 0
FOAD 11.10.13 5:21am
Nationwide celebrations as Britain selected to receive 250 free business cards.

More soon if we're lucky...

sredni vashta 11.10.13 1:49am
sredni vashta
Amazon no longer friends with customers as '…recommends' function becomes honest

Upset has erupted this week after's famous 'Amazon recommends' function has been adjusted by the site's designers to be more frank with their consumers. Despite 'honesty is the best...

TobiasBV 11.10.13 1:46am
sredni vashta
BBC Announces Plans to Destroy Doctor Who Episodes

Doctor Who fans have ercently befome overjoyed with the announcement that nine old episode of the series have recently been recovede. These were episodes from the fifth-season serials “The Enemy of...

lordblackadder 11.10.13 12:14am
Racially motivated wizard attacks Cameron's plans to block internet porn

Estrol Raffielli, who claims to be a racially intolerant version of Harry Potter's Albus Dumbledore, recently hit out at David Cameron's latest plans to make internet porn an opt in system....

derskine 10.10.13 10:54pm
Guardian Claims It Is OK For Newspapers To Betray State Secrets ...

but not for them to reveal that Miliband's dad was Marxist malcontent...

Titus 10.10.13 10:42pm
Investors mystified when Post Office share certificates fail to arrive. 0
deskpilot3 10.10.13 9:58pm
Syrian government in emergency dash to Washington to help struggling Congress. 0
deskpilot3 10.10.13 9:55pm
Market research company slammed for poorly executed green eggs & ham focus group A market research interview to ascertain attitudes to the deli-counter staple ‘green eggs and ham’ was today condemned by...

Skylarking 10.10.13 9:37pm
Man who says his penis looks like Jesus disappointed with response from public

Mr Kevin Weston, of Sheffield, has been excitedly showing his organ to anyone who'll listen to him, asking, “Is this the face of Jesus or what?” He claims he first noticed its resemblance to the...

sydalg 10.10.13 8:01pm
History undergrad likes Hitler less and less the more he learns 0
TobiasBV 10.10.13 7:48pm
Tendulkar retires from Indian cricket. Will now play for England.

Wilshere ecstatic...

MADJEZ 10.10.13 7:26pm
Morrissey memoir too late for Nobel Prize for Literature

Singer Morrissey is reported 'down in the dumps' after he failed to win the 2013 Nobel Prize for Literature after being pipped at the post by Canadian short story writer Alice Munro. 'Because this...

roybland 10.10.13 6:49pm
Libyan Prime Minister Describes Own Kidnapping As "Magical Adventure"

CAIRO - Ali Zeidan, Libya’s prime minister, was kidnapped on Thursday in the capital city of Tripoli in a retaliatory act for his consent to the capture of a suspected al Qaeda leader by the...

JesseDoc 10.10.13 5:29pm
Guy Fawkes Society Finally Admits ......

.Guy probably just wanted a cosy corner, with a lantern in the Parliamentry cellar...

Jesse Bigg 10.10.13 4:08pm
Jesse Bigg
Readers fail to notice addition of David Jason’s Memoirs to latest Bridget Jones

Helen Fielding, hang your head in shame. Before it was noticed that 40 pages of Sir David Jason’s Autobiography, “My Life” had accidently been placed in first editions of the latest tale of...

james_doc 10.10.13 4:02pm
Second City lawyer in shock CV expose

Yet another so-called city barrister has been exposed in London. The fraudster has confessed that he was in fact a former employee of Costa Coffee in Grimsby. Talking exclusively to us at The Daily...

jimmydodger 10.10.13 3:40pm
Seaside village mistakenly eaten in chipshop after "battering by 60mph winds" 0
sydalg 10.10.13 3:35pm
Man who has never even heard of Higgs Boson seems to be doing OK

A Cheltenham butcher who has never heard of Higgs Boson is getting on with his life just fine say his friends. 'Gordon has never heard of it,' said Luke Church, a friend, 'but he just goes on...

roybland 10.10.13 3:17pm
EE forced to apologise to stutterers 2
custard cream 10.10.13 2:46pm
Christmas Day moved to avoid clash with One Direction concert.

It has been announced that Christmas Day 2013 is now to be celebrated on 28th December due to a number of teenage girls having purchased tickets for a One Direction concert that is being held in...

WatcherMark 10.10.13 2:14pm
Porn Star Wins Sukhimov Prize

. ok sorry, ran out of ideas and enthusiasm...

Flugelbinder 10.10.13 2:12pm
Harlem Shuffle to be rewritten as Coalition anthem

Disappointed by the lack of media razzmatazz following the recent cabinet reshuffle, coalition partners have announced the adoption of a new theme tune to be used in the run up to the 2015 election. ...

Coco 10.10.13 12:21pm
Alzheimer's breakthrough hailed as 'turning point' forgotten by lunchtime. its gone...

theinvisiblecitychannels 10.10.13 12:06pm
Syria to advise Defra on alternative means of culling Badgers 0
Flugelbinder 10.10.13 11:38am
Secret Saving On The Rise, Says Saving Anonymous

."Some addicts can't pass a bank or building society without putting money into their account," says one expert., "Difficult these days to get addicts to squander," says another spokesperson.,...

Jesse Bigg 10.10.13 11:28am
Jesse Bigg
Daily Mail to hire Julian Assange in effort to appear less sleazy

Wikileaks firmly deny this, refuting any claims that the malevolent tabloid is sleazier than its founder., "We simply do not accept than any person or organisation is any more spiteful, vindictive,...

Flugelbinder 10.10.13 11:06am
Man still trying to dissolve his PC in water to create 'IT solution' 0
ronseal 10.10.13 10:58am
Cloud Computing Labelled "Too Nebulous" 1
Flugelbinder 10.10.13 10:57am