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Faberge bacon found 4
nickb 3 years

It was a find that confused, then delighted Russian historians and students of decorative arts. A wavy strip of white gold, five centimetres long, artfully encrusted with garnets and rubies, with a...

Iron Maiden stolen by scrap metal theives 3
bonjonelson 3 years

Möre soon...

Critics slam Grossman cover of Lennon's 'Instant Korma's Gonna Get You' 0
Skylarking 3 years
Suspicion falls on record viewing figure for The Only Way is Dover 0
vertical 3 years

overheard: pliz, vich way to a slum...

"Freddie Starr ate my Korma" says Lloyd Grossman. 0
pinxit 3 years
Camel toe makes Freddie Starr vomit. "That's a first" say ex-wives. 0
pinxit 3 years
Flybe incident prompts Ryanair to charge supplement for full set of wheels 0
medici2471 3 years
Darth Vader hoping to add Nobel Peace prize to his recently awarded Oscar 0
simonjmr 3 years
Aussie medics baffled by cause of Freddie Starr's illness 1
medici2471 3 years
Steven Segal to take over running of London Police 0
Shandy 3 years

Responibilities for running an increasingly lawless capital are to be given to the smoothest man in Hollywood, it was annouced last night. His buttery smooth voice, A-List slicked hair, and martial...

Ground-to-air missiles on standby for London Olympics, but Trident misses out... 0
ianslat 3 years

in ticket ballot...

Proposed "right to sack Chief Constables" supported by John Terry 0
dvo4fun 3 years
Missing star Neil Morrissey “is considerable danger to society” 0
Newsquelch 3 years

The 55 year old Men Behaving Badly star, who has been on the run since Saturday, has been linked to the banned underground Real Ale organisation CAMRA. ...

Government to run out of ministers by November 2012 0
apepper 3 years

According to the office of national statistics, the government is using up ministers faster than they can be replaced and will run out before the end of 2012. "The rate of resignations is...

Concern that up to a third of prospective students too stupid to understand fees 8
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

November 14th was Student Finance Day, organised to help prospective university students understand the new fees system. Events took place up and down the country, after shocking survey results...

New Italian leader's penis promises restraint. 0
nickb 3 years

In a specially arranged press conference, the penis of newly appointed prime minister Mario Monti vowed not to emulate the excesses of its predecessor. It also refused to comment on any of the...

Reality Couple With Too Many Kids Expecting... Again 0
moggies 3 years

"Fucking is ace. We really enjoy it, and we want everyone to know that contraception is for idiots." They added, "Having a reasonable number of kids and being responsible about the earth's limited...

Torture Inquiry: 'We'll get the truth from witnesses by using "waterboarding"&#0 0
thackaray 3 years
Woburn man to donate testicle to Nick Clegg. More soon. 3
Al OPecia 3 years
Arab Drug Killer waved through Bristol Airport security with "Allo Moi Luvver" 0
Drylaw 3 years
Capello expecting Sweden to play with flat pack four 8
charlies_hat 3 years
BP discover fifth pipeline leak 0
medici2471 3 years
Police praise Chav-curfew as 'I'm a Celebrity..' returns. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Spanish giant killing sends town bonkers in Little England on the Handcart 1
ronseal 3 years

Minnows Little England on the Handcart have gone football bonkers, after the local team pulled off a shock giant killing against might Spain from the premier league of world football. OK, our goal...

Google to close whilst they 'search for answers' to soaring search times. 3
Perks 3 years

The Internet search giant Google have announced they are to close down all of their search operations, after it admitted search times had slowed over the last 5 years. The search times, which are...

Missiles may improve viewing figures for 2012 Olympics 1
medici2471 3 years
Passenger terror as Ryanair plane circles above Turkey for over 8 hours. 1
Bryan with a Y 3 years

They might be giants of the air industry, but the young pilot and elderly co-pilot argue about landing at Istanbul or Constantinople...

Cowell fury as Minty Challis releases re-mix of 'Caravan of Love' for Christmas. 0
Bryan with a Y 3 years

Minty to travel the country to promote single...

Jordan calls on Assad to resign. André thinks he should stay. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
X-Factor finally remembers to put the Kitty out! 0
Ian Searle 3 years