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Rape downgraded to "canola". More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 22.08.12 1:05pm
JohnA
Mr McGregor being tormented by thieving bastard rabbits

Archibald McGregor, a hard-working 78-year-old pensioner living in a small village in Lancashire, has been brought to the verge of a nervous breakdown by thefts from the vegetable garden he relies...

3
Oxbridge 22.08.12 1:03pm
JohnA
Jane Austen 'not that good' says expert

It would seem that generations of bored A level English students have been proved right, as a respected scholar has reached the conclusion that Jane Austen was actually rubbish. Professor Stanley...

8
ricky33 22.08.12 1:00pm
JohnA
NHS trademarks "MRSA" brand in order to capitalise on lucrative foreign markets 0
bonjonelson 22.08.12 12:38pm
bonjonelson
Bradford Royal Infirmary announce 80% increase in Knocked-Up Syndrome 0
tedweasel 22.08.12 12:34pm
tedweasel
Mars Rover clamped as over zealous parking attendant seeks to meet quota 0
TerribleTim 22.08.12 12:05pm
TerribleTim
Olympic legacy boost as London awarded 2012 Paralympic Games

"I said there would be an Olympic legacy," said Lord Seb of Coe...

0
custard cream 22.08.12 11:22am
custard cream
Lifelong Eastbourne resident

George Slanders 89 has been attacked for the secound time in two months on Eastbourne beach,George recently released from a short stay in Rampton mental hospital had this to say.Its disgusting,I...

0
De-spair tyre 22.08.12 10:52am
De-spair tyre
Julian Assange pleads innocents on new Dicki-Leaks web site. 2
godly1966 22.08.12 10:47am
and another one
Yes is always yes, explains George Galloway

Yes is always yes, explains our new advice columnist, Agony Uncle George. So when you say, 'yes, dear, of course I love you,' that will always be the case. So says 4-times married Uncle George....

2
Miss Hegas 21.08.12 11:44pm
Miss Hegas
Statue of Richard Herring to be erected in Edinburgh [Future Biscuit]

Yorkshire born Richard Herring is to be commemorated with a statue near the Underbelly venue, commissioned by Countess Burdett-Coutts. Richard was accustomed to visiting Edinburgh every year, but...

0
gaijintendo 21.08.12 9:12pm
gaijintendo
Assange launches range of alarm cocks 2
cinquecento 21.08.12 8:42pm
cinquecento
Galloway : Failing to clean teeth before morning sex is not rape. 0
MADJEZ 21.08.12 6:43pm
MADJEZ
New SI unit discovered: nandoseconds. The time it takes to eat more chicken. 0
dominic_mcg 21.08.12 6:38pm
dominic_mcg
KP Nuts

More to follow...

0
apepper 21.08.12 5:40pm
apepper
Assange expelled from Embassy as CCTV shows him abusing ambassador's hospitality

http://twitpic.com/am3g0r...

0
pinxit 21.08.12 5:11pm
pinxit
Commando units complain about not being allowed to enter Parralympics 0
Scronnyglonkle 21.08.12 5:02pm
Scronnyglonkle
Chinese judge clarifies; 'Suspended death sentence' actually means hanging 5
Perks 21.08.12 4:54pm
charlies_hat
Galloway ignores calls to withdraw 0
medici2471 21.08.12 4:37pm
medici2471
Senior Catholics explain opposition to same sex marriage

"If sex is always the same in a marriage, then it puts the holy sacrament of marriage in danger. So married people have a duty to dress up in turquoise latex, use knobbly battery driven equipment...

0
nickb 21.08.12 4:28pm
nickb
Panama hat shortage ‘critical’ as Ecuadorian sanctions bite

Only a week into Ecuador’s worldwide ban on the export of panama hats, the sanctions are beginning to bite. President Rafael Correa has said sanctions will remain in place until the British...

1
Des Custard 21.08.12 3:26pm
custard cream
Now Pietersen left out of England tiddlywinks team

In a move that will cause further upset to the troubled South African, England tiddlywinks team captain, Brian Watson, confirmed Kevin Pietersen will not be in the squad to face South Africa next...

0
custard cream 21.08.12 3:24pm
custard cream
Britain to seek "diplomatic resolution" of row with Ecuador

But a Foreign Office spokesman said this week: "What do you expect when you're dealing with a bunch of gr**sy da*oes...

0
Scroat 21.08.12 12:59pm
Scroat
George Galloway launches new range of rape alarms for early risers

hat tip to Rickwestwell from years ago...

0
charlies_hat 21.08.12 11:00am
charlies_hat
Dumfries disassociates itself from Galloway 0
medici2471 21.08.12 10:58am
medici2471
Fall in Supermarket sales blamed on "Fatties".

In a leaked report, the recent decline in Supermarket food sales has been attributed, surprisingly, to the increase in the number of overweight/oversize shoppers. The number of “Fatties”, as...

1
davecook194 21.08.12 10:41am
Oxbridge
Foreign Office; 'Ecuador can keep Assange as long as they take Galloway as well'

In a move that has surprised most but pleased many, the British Government has given Ecuador one final option to resolve the current diplomatic crisis. They can keep Julian Assange, but have to take...

4
Perks 21.08.12 9:49am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Judge orders Apple/Samsung jury to deliver verdict using predictive text

As the court case between Apple and Samsung draws to a close, in which both companies accuse each other of patent infrigements, the judge presiding over the case has asked jurors to deliver their...

0
antharrison 21.08.12 9:48am
antharrison
Apple sue Xerox for copying

More to follow...

0
apepper 21.08.12 9:41am
apepper
"First Trains Mary" down to extra collection plate income says Vatican

The Vatican has confirmed that, following a substantial input of loose change by the directors of First Group, the Virgin Mary will now be known as the First Trains Mary. Pope Bendict confirmed that...

0
antharrison 21.08.12 9:30am
antharrison