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Thousands queue outside Esher butcher to view lamb chop 3
nickb 3 years

In a historic moment for Esher, thousands lined the high street to catch a glimpse of what may become the most famous cutlet the town will ever see. “I just wanted to do this so I could tell my...

Stranger than fiction; Tin Tin's Belgium really exists 0
apepper 3 years

Steven Spielberg's Tin Tin is a fantasy film, but it does has some links to reality; it turns out there really is a country called Belgium...

Peter Mandleson missing latest; Harry Potter arrested 0
apepper 3 years

Former minister and dark wizard, Peter Mandleson has disappeared. Schoolboy, Harry Potter has been arrested and is assisting police with their enquiries...

"Let's build a Large Hadron Collider" says Neutrino Action group 0
Ranewsbiscuit 3 years

"Let's build a Large Hadron Collider" says Neutrino Action group - Rights for Neutrinos Tomorrow. "Then we can find out if we can go faster than the speed of light and journey back in time, like we...

Great White claims 'reasonable force' defence after diver trespass attack 0
kga6 3 years

A great white shark, of 'the sea, Western Australia', has said he 'acted in self-defence' after killing a diver who he accuses of trespass. The shark is being hunted by officials, but many are...

Country No One Cares About Wins World Cup In A Sport No One Cares About 0
Mathna 3 years
Vatican dismay as Steve Jobs achieves sainthood before Mother Teresa 0
roybland 3 years
Gaddafi's death caused by capture, claims autopsy Doctor. 0
Mrblacker 3 years
Gun rules blamed for lack of UK celebrations over Gaddafi's death 0
Mrblacker 3 years

Libyan exiles in the UK have blamed to Government's firearms laws on their failure to celebrate the death of Colonel Gaddafi. The country's former leader for the last 42 years died on Thursday after...

Financial Statement from Canon Giles Fraser 0
arflaethel 3 years

The Revd Quasimodo, Chancellor of St Paul’s Bank issued the following statement today (Saturday 22nd October 1482,), "I remain firmly supportive of the right of mugs to trust me with their money,...

Tory MP's To Be Housed In Dale Farm.... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

"Sort of a gradual 'getting use to being out to pasture in the near future,' said a spokesman...

Harrow accused of being "old school" 2
Nick McCarr 3 years
Tories To Change Their Name...... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

..To "The Wasteland Party." "Eeh, it's a re-run of the 1980's, only worse."...

Cameron Orders VAT Increase In Readiness For Another Libyan-Type 'Glory Hole'... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

."Sod the public services, I want another jolly - this time without the French!"...

Androids left wondering what Steve Jobs had against them 0
Nick McCarr 3 years

Use of the word "Idiot" is demeaning say Karl Pilkington Community 0
Mathna 3 years
Temple closes as bearded hippy overthrows the tables of the money changers. 11
button 3 years
Offenders urged to do community service first, then commit crime 8
nickb 3 years

Scheme will improve local communities and cut court costs. Michael Jeffries, unemployed, is about to complete 200 hours of community service, canal clearing and removing graffiti from a local...

God upset by closure of St Pauls, checks into Travelodge 8
Boutros 3 years

Protest groups camped outside St Pauls have caused the Supreme Being to change his plans for the weekend. I've deleted the rest because it was bollocks...

Councils to begin issuing satellite component recycling bins 0
kga6 3 years
Councils admit using undercover parking attendants 2
nickb 3 years

Local authorities round the country have been running undercover parking attendants in a bid to collect more revenue from illegal parking. “It started quite simply,” said Sandwell Council...

Sting captures real IRA weapons smuggler in Lithuanian. 1
gbakes01 3 years

Sting captures real IRA weapons smuggler in lithuanian countryside rumours that he informed the authorities by sending out an SOS, sending out an SOS does this have legs?...

Gaddafi Post Mortem Latest: "Died of Natural Causes" 0
apepper 3 years

A post mortem has revealed that Colonel Gaddafi died of natural causes. "It's not entirely unexpected.", explained a Libyan official. "He was nearly 70 and as people get older, they often fall asleep...

God cares more about hedgehogs than Christians says Ann Widdecombe 0
roybland 3 years

Star of last year's Strictly Come Dancing and former minister Ann Widdecombe has accused God of caring more about hedgehogs than Christians.,  , Addressing the annual conference of the Catholic...

Post mortem confirms Gadaffi demise a 'dead Sirte' 0
Skylarking 3 years

I thank yeoww...

Mental disability protest escorted to Number 10, Police mistake them for Cabinet 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years
Gaddafi and Jobs launch iPocket Dictator 0
RJWinter 3 years
"Devastated" Shaftoe Fiancee Sues For Breach Of Promise 0
rikkor 3 years
Basque separatists ETA blame ceasefire on lack of "initial-only recognition" 18
Gong of Fur 3 years

‘Why couldn’t you for once just say “ETA”?’ asked Basque separatist group ETA leader Garikoitz Aspiazu Rubina, in an emotional plea to the world’s media to afford them the same status as... now owns all cars in UK 2
GreenCross 3 years