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"Quit while you're ahead son" Advises Fergie 0
Elthan_Safety 3 years

As Tores opens coconut shy as confidence returns...

Attractive woman in bikini breaks silence over unseasonably warm weather 7
Mary Evans 3 years

A size 10 blonde from Southend-on-Sea has come forward in a fetching and diminutive halterneck swimsuit to go public with her views on the unusually warm bank holiday weekend. ‘It’s really...

Dissident republicans planning a challenging Easter bomb hunt this year 1
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Superinjunction stops police asking footballers about sexual harassment on ferry 1
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Members of Muse deny existence of new song 'Super Massive Injunction' 0
JayGee 3 years
Cameron Accuses Local Authority Town Criers of "Oh Yez" Bias during AV Run Up 0
BewsNiscuit 3 years

Revolting Yorkshire town criers retaliate with "Oh Nay, Oh Nay, Oh Nay", lad. More soon...

Alan Bennett to play Inspector Jack Regan in 'The Sweeney' remake 2
antharrison 3 years

TV reviewers from the national newspapers have applauded the decision to cast northern playright Alan Bennett as the tough cop Inspector Jack Regan in a remake of the 1970s series. In the first...

Snow to be Bubble Wrapped 1
Elthan_Safety 3 years

Says Scottish professor on the piste. True. More soon...

Hacker Cracks 256 bit Encryption Code. 1
BewsNiscuit 3 years

Morse Soon...

Christmas Special "Only Fools and Hearses" announced. More soon. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years
President Assad of Syria: killing mourners 'efficient for undertakers' 0
Izziere 3 years

President Bashar Al Assad of Syria has defended the almost endless cycle of killings at funerals as a way of helping the downtrodden undertakers accomplish more work with less effort. "Our...

Trotter's three wheeler to be converted to hearse. More soon. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years
Royal Wedding seating shock "close family to sit nearest to royal couple". More 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years

soon. This is news?...

Anne Robinson, you are the weakest link, GOODBYE 0
Sinnick 3 years
Safety concerns raised over Satnav voice guidance 0
hero2zero 3 years

Road safety experts today condemned the proposed introduction of Satnav voice guidance via a combination of David Cameron and Nick Clegg. It was felt that the constant contradiction over such things...

Tesco offers police triple Clubcard points on all arrests this weekend 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Protesting teaching unions plan six-week stoppage this summer 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Eerie silence falls across British kitchens 0
Pinhead 3 years

as the dawning realisation that cooking is for women and for men to do it is in fact a bit gay. Usual rules apply to Wales etc...

Man called George in court over 'dragon slaying incident'. More soon. 0
malgor 3 years
CBBC Stars Refuse to Move North 3
Butler 3 years

More stars are joining Breakfast’s Sian Williams in her decision not to move as part of the relocation of the BBC to new studios in the north. Igglepiggle, Makka Pakka and UpsyDaisy are refusing to...

News Of The World admits in court "some stories not verified with phone-tapping" 2
OllieP 3 years

The News of the World has admitted in court that a small number of inaccurate stories featured in the paper over the last three years had not benefited from information gained by hacking into...

Nimby Caught Trespassing. 1
BewsNiscuit 3 years
Lobbyists for Kiss'n'tell industry say super injunctions will cost 1000s of jobs 1
ronseal 3 years

One of Britain's few successful industries could be forced abroad by suffocating red tape imposed by so called legal experts such as senior civil servants, Ministers and Judges. Now MAWKISH, the...

"As many as two" royal wedding street parties now planned across UK say police 0
QorbeQ 3 years
Doctor Who team apologise for spending entire budget on trailers 0
Sinnick 3 years
Nose operation will finally allow Ed Miliband to experience the smell of failure 1
deskpilot3 3 years
British smokers ‘healthiest in Europe’ 1
malgor 3 years

Now into their 16th season of ‘life in the great outdoors’, British smokers have come out tops in a recent Europe-wide health study. ‘I’ve had loads of fresh air and exercise these last four...

Entire Library of Congress to be replaced with single iPad 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Bristol Police told Antitesco “was a new type of starter” 0
FoxyCoxy 3 years
Hosepipe Ban opposed by Fireman's Union 0
nannyknowsbest 3 years

"We simply do not have sufficient buckets to cope with a major fire" said a union spokesman amid fears that only properties close to the sea or a river could be saved in the event of a fire., Fears...