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Apple to launch game-changing “new concept” 1
3 years

In a shock move that has stunned technology markets, Apple has turned its back on the tablet market to launch an entirely new device – the Fedex 81. It will be a collaboration between Apple and...

Enquiry launched to find scapegoat for blam culture 5
Mr_Johno 3 years
Sandwich accepted under European "Protected designation of origin" laws 1
Newsquelch 3 years

Ian Brownstain, who owns the local cafe ‘Fishy Finger’ in the town of Sandwich in Kent, has successfully had the food article formally known as ‘a Sandwich’ protected under the European...

Middle aged male MP encouraged by wife to buy pussy magnet 1
charlies_hat 3 years
'Micro' 9/11 planner foiled by CIA 4
Screenie 3 years

A 26-year-old US citizen who was plotting to fly bomb laden remote controlled planes into the White House has been taken into custody to give the US law enforcement agency an opportunity to point at...

New 80mph speed limit; Clarkson excluded, others to follow 5
apepper 3 years

Jeremy Clarkson has been specifically excluded from the new 80mph speed limit. In a surprise sub-clause in the new act it is stated: "In accordance with article 5, any qualifying vehicle can travel...

BBC Renames 'BBC News' In Rebrand. 2
AS-TVLR 3 years It is understood that the BBC's flagship channel is to be renamed 'BBC Propaganda' in a statement made by the BBC's Directorate Kommisar Mark...

Boom time for England when Welsh bag levy comes into effect. 7
Boutros 3 years

English border towns are gearing up for a cross-border bonanza from Welsh shoppers following the announcement of a 5p bag levy. "5p a bag, that's a scandal," commented one disgruntled shopper from...

Beauty and the Beast Set for Remake 0
kga6 3 years
Infant, 2 Days, Wishes to Remain Unnamed 0
kga6 3 years
Small grey kitten theft 2
Screenie 3 years
Former MP Douglas Hogg criticises Coroner's expenses claim for cleaning Moat 1
dvo4fun 3 years

More later. I'll get my white coat...

BBC stand-down Robert Peston after US Drone's 'succesful kill' deployment. 0
dvo4fun 3 years

More soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon...

Michael Jackson Doctor Trial in Sponsorship Breakdown 0
thisisall1word 3 years

Pepsi Cola have withdrwan their sponsorship from the trial of Dr Conrad Murray after ratings for the televised trial have suffered from viewers switching to the Amanda Knox appeal., FOX network, who...

Man mistakes chasing his children up the stairs going ‘Raarrr!!!’ for parenting - 2 42
Qoxiivi 3 years

A young father from Solihull has encountered a barrage of criticism after his long-suffering wife revealed that ‘chasing the children up the stairs on all fours going ‘Raarrr!!!’ every...

Trader on way to Niagara expects to see big falls 0
beau-jolly 3 years
Germany distraught to find it now owns Greece 2
Screenie 3 years
Pickles talks rubbish 6
spoole2112 3 years

Big boned communities secretaty Eric Pickles announced today that he had miraculously 'found' £250 million to restore weekly bin collections. "I must have been sat on it all this timeI stood up in...

Nations stockpile insults as conventional warfare becomes 'unaffordable' 9
nickb 3 years

It is a doomsday scenario feared by military top brass the world over: The economic downturn bites with ever greater savagery, weapons of mass destruction become too expensive, and the labour costs...

Navy downsizing leads to increase in Petty Officers 0
dvo4fun 3 years

Or something like that bleeaauuugg...

Top Universities failure to attract poorer students may lead to shortage of fags 2
Ian Searle 3 years

David Cameron raises fears Old Etonions might not have anyone to roast over an open fire, and could be forced to butter their own muffins for tiffin...

Pavlyuchenko refuses to play. Spurs fans joy. 0
Drylaw 3 years
Commuter B.O. Threat Level raised from "Severe" to "Critical". 5
seymour totti 3 years

Due to recent warm weather, the Environment Agency today raised the Body Odour warning level of a commuter from "Severe" to "Critical". Mark Beale, a 36 year old software engineer, catches the 17.56...

Greeks wary of 'rescue plan' which involves travelling to Poland by train, 4
MADJEZ 3 years

Arbeit macht frei soon...

Greece shocked to learn that Germany now owns it 5
ianslat 3 years

Greek citizens are today coming to terms with the shock news that Germany’s latest bailout of their beleaguered economy means that they are now owned by Germany. ‘I was gob-smacked when I read...

Tories Confirm - Job Done! 1
grottymonty 3 years

Conservative Central Office has confirmed this morning that they now consider the implementation of their initial election manifesto completed. Senior Ministers and most MP's will now head back to...

Speed limit on M25 to rise from ‘crawling' to 'jogging'. 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years
‘Fresh Meat’ homage to ‘Young Ones’ not ripoff 0
Clarky 3 years

The writers of Channel 4 series ‘Fresh Meat’ deny their comedy, which follows the madcap adventures of a group of university students sharing a house, is a straight copy of ‘The Young Ones,’...

Crunch time or pork scratching makers. 0
spoole2112 3 years
John Cleese takes legal action against islander after he orgaises a Scilly Walk. 2
Ian Searle 3 years