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"Flapjack attacks an acute problem", claims Justice Secretary! 0
topfotogmw 26.03.13 11:20am
topfotogmw
'Ripper may have used a Toblerone' say experts

A team from the Unsolved Crime Squad say they are looking into the possibility that Jack the Ripper may have butchered his victims using a Toblerone., Forensic pathologists now think the Swiss made...

4
Gerontius 26.03.13 11:01am
Nowherefast
Gove acknowledges punctuation still poor in schools, "I blame the parentheses". 2
topfotogmw 26.03.13 10:37am
sigmund
Duke of Cambridge to be Outsourced to an American firm. 0
Scronnyglonkle 26.03.13 9:01am
Scronnyglonkle
Steven Gerard to answer 'long ball team' jibes with forty yard pass 0
Gary Stanton 26.03.13 8:36am
Gary Stanton
Clive Mantle piece. 0
ginty 26.03.13 8:14am
ginty
Thousands of Street View figures perish in snow

The UK’s freak winter weather has claimed the lives of thousands of Street View figures as blizzards continue to bury roads under tonnes of snow. In one of the worst hit areas in the Pennines...

0
Dick Everyman 26.03.13 8:01am
Dick Everyman
Flapjack killer eats evidence. Police only left with crumbs to build a case. 0
irreverendJ 26.03.13 7:52am
irreverendJ
Waddingtons team up with Armitage Shanks to sponsor Game of Thrones 1
custard cream 26.03.13 7:32am
Big Ben
Driver of grey car brazenly switched lights on before nightfall

A man has been fined £1000 and banned from driving for three months after being caught driving a grey car in poor visibility with the headlights on. Mr Robert Simmonds of Dorchester openly...

4
Midfield Diamond 26.03.13 7:30am
Big Ben
Historic Papal Meeting - where's the Stop Tap?

Vaticanologists were disappointed today when the historic meeting between the Pope and his predecessor degenerated into mundane questions regarding Vatican housekeeping. Pope Francis began his...

4
harrington greenslade 26.03.13 7:06am
Jeremy Hunt
Triangles renamed circles in pointless H&S initiative 3
irreverendJ 26.03.13 12:48am
Jammydodgers
Berezofsky found "Hanging on a bathroom floor" Blondie to re-release single. 0
Iscariot 26.03.13 12:41am
Iscariot
Farmers Call For More Sheep Diviners To Help Find Trapped Sheep

The British Association of Sheep Diviners (BASD) says that it has experienced an "unprecedented" upsurge in interest in recent days, as farmers resort to increasingly desperate measures to rescue...

0
jamsieoconnor 26.03.13 12:37am
jamsieoconnor
Acupuncture Proven Useless as a good Prick Me Up 0
Big Ben 26.03.13 12:34am
Big Ben
National Eczema Society to launch scratch card 3
custard cream 26.03.13 12:22am
Big Ben
Nervous BBC Philharmonic drops triangle player 0
sydalg 25.03.13 11:59pm
sydalg
Jack's triangular flap banned on heath and safety grounds. 0
Boutros 25.03.13 11:26pm
Boutros
Supermarket slammed for tasteless 'cold cross bun' range 3
Squudge 25.03.13 11:07pm
sponge finger
Cameron's Och Aye The Noo remark provokes mental Scotsman to violence 0
Drylaw 25.03.13 10:57pm
Drylaw
Alzheimer's Association to launch new cycling event - Tour de mentia 0
custard cream 25.03.13 10:56pm
custard cream
School confirms triangular flapjacks are fine, if they are in high vis cover 0
custard cream 25.03.13 10:49pm
custard cream
Health Dept. officials confirm NHS 111 is not a film sequel 0
custard cream 25.03.13 10:47pm
custard cream
Casualty actor in casualty as ear bitten off 0
custard cream 25.03.13 10:39pm
custard cream
Carrots, parsnips and asparagus to have nasty dangerous pointy bits removed

before sale, and must only be on display if behind an armoured glass safety screen. Industrial gloves must be worn when handling Pineapples., (Got to be scope here for some Photoshopping?)...

0
Titus 25.03.13 10:00pm
Titus
The Top 10 Most Useless Mobile Phone Apps

Sometimes it takes more than a boffin with a Mac to come up with a killer app idea. Here’s a top 10 of the best of the worst apps ever to be released: 10. The 'Battery Monitor' App: designed to...

0
Slante Dangle 25.03.13 9:30pm
Slante Dangle
Canvey Island Health and Safety Officers to close all corner shops. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 25.03.13 9:10pm
dominic_mcg
Essex police call for Toblerone amnesty 0
Ian Searle 25.03.13 9:07pm
Ian Searle
Isle of Wight homes still have no electricity. Weather not to blame. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 25.03.13 9:05pm
dominic_mcg
Runaway Swan bowls maiden over. 0
godly1966 25.03.13 9:04pm
godly1966