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Missing star Neil Morrissey “is considerable danger to society” 0
Newsquelch 3 years

The 55 year old Men Behaving Badly star, who has been on the run since Saturday, has been linked to the banned underground Real Ale organisation CAMRA. ...

Government to run out of ministers by November 2012 0
apepper 3 years

According to the office of national statistics, the government is using up ministers faster than they can be replaced and will run out before the end of 2012. "The rate of resignations is...

Concern that up to a third of prospective students too stupid to understand fees 8
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

November 14th was Student Finance Day, organised to help prospective university students understand the new fees system. Events took place up and down the country, after shocking survey results...

New Italian leader's penis promises restraint. 0
nickb 3 years

In a specially arranged press conference, the penis of newly appointed prime minister Mario Monti vowed not to emulate the excesses of its predecessor. It also refused to comment on any of the...

Reality Couple With Too Many Kids Expecting... Again 0
moggies 3 years

"Fucking is ace. We really enjoy it, and we want everyone to know that contraception is for idiots." They added, "Having a reasonable number of kids and being responsible about the earth's limited...

Torture Inquiry: 'We'll get the truth from witnesses by using "waterboarding"&#0 0
thackaray 3 years
Woburn man to donate testicle to Nick Clegg. More soon. 3
Al OPecia 3 years
Arab Drug Killer waved through Bristol Airport security with "Allo Moi Luvver" 0
Drylaw 3 years
Capello expecting Sweden to play with flat pack four 8
charlies_hat 3 years
BP discover fifth pipeline leak 0
medici2471 3 years
Police praise Chav-curfew as 'I'm a Celebrity..' returns. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Spanish giant killing sends town bonkers in Little England on the Handcart 1
ronseal 3 years

Minnows Little England on the Handcart have gone football bonkers, after the local team pulled off a shock giant killing against might Spain from the premier league of world football. OK, our goal...

Google to close whilst they 'search for answers' to soaring search times. 3
Perks 3 years

The Internet search giant Google have announced they are to close down all of their search operations, after it admitted search times had slowed over the last 5 years. The search times, which are...

Missiles may improve viewing figures for 2012 Olympics 1
medici2471 3 years
Passenger terror as Ryanair plane circles above Turkey for over 8 hours. 1
Bryan with a Y 3 years

They might be giants of the air industry, but the young pilot and elderly co-pilot argue about landing at Istanbul or Constantinople...

Cowell fury as Minty Challis releases re-mix of 'Caravan of Love' for Christmas. 0
Bryan with a Y 3 years

Minty to travel the country to promote single...

Jordan calls on Assad to resign. André thinks he should stay. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
X-Factor finally remembers to put the Kitty out! 0
Ian Searle 3 years
'Clearasil' shares in spot of bother as teenagers stay indoors. 0
Bryan with a Y 3 years

Company heads pore over latest results...

Noddy gets a Holder himself and escapes annual slaying early. 0
Bryan with a Y 3 years

Legendary fuzzface, Noddy Holder awoke this this morning to the sound of "IT'S CHRISTMAS" on local radio station SH1 TFM, and knew it was time to pack his platforms. Despite earning around £1.25...

Sir Jimmy Saville’s coffin encased in concrete “just to be sure” 1
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Evo-stick announce business is insolvent 0
charlies_hat 3 years
In today's Daily Star: 2
vertical 3 years

Katie Price answers your questions on thermodynamics & Planck's blackbody law...

Hacking probe judge denies being a puppet. Nation can clearly see the strings 0
grottymonty 3 years

Victims of Lloyd Grossman sauce botulism to undergo keyhole surgery 2
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Santa Claus issues prior notice of strike action citing inadequate pension. 0
Mr Pineapple Lumps 3 years

Union representatives for Santa Claus issued a prior notice of strike earlier today citing poor work conditions and inadequate pension planning as the basis for a strike planned for 25 December this...

Internationals. Latest Score: Arab Spring 3 - European Autumn 2 5
pinxit 3 years

Still playing...

Gary Barlow accuses Take That of being predictable, announces dubstep album 7
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

Take That star Gary Barlow has been casting his critical judging eye over his own band, and has reached the conclusion that they are ‘predictable’. The same damning criticism that the...

Burlusconi to quit Italy and set up new political party in Libya 0
grottymonty 3 years

"I want nothing to do with countries where democratically elected leaders are simply thrown out of office."...

Nintendo target fatties with Wii-Unfit 0
vertical 3 years

After complaints that exercise games are too demanding, enter Wii Unfit which dispenses with leaping round the lounge waving a plastic bat because it's uniquely controlled by brainwaves. You just...