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"Why wasn't he muzzled?" Daily Mail asks Liverpool manager 0
sydalg 23.04.13 5:08am
Cash-strapped NHS asks measles victims to paint large cross on door 0
sydalg 23.04.13 4:57am
Penalty shot closely followed by rabies shot in Liverpool game 0
sydalg 23.04.13 4:42am
John Major flattered but not coming back

No more gray...

Not Amused 22.04.13 11:39pm
Not Amused
Latest Government Stats Prove Half of All UK Schools Now Below National Average

The latest figures released by the Department for Education show that half of all state schools are now below the national average. Ministers have used such falling standards to push for a wider take...

thisisall1word 22.04.13 10:03pm
Sir Lupus
Judge tempted to release Huhne early "just to see her face". More soon. 2
Al OPecia 22.04.13 7:26pm
Frustrated FBI to question Boston Bomb suspect through the medium of dance. 2
Al OPecia 22.04.13 7:24pm
sponge finger
NewsBiscuit declares war on itself.

The UK’s top satirical website News Biscuit is today in turmoil after a group of writers decided to leave and start their own site. The group known only as the Harold Spring left to start the...

godly1966 22.04.13 7:17pm
sponge finger
Dyslexics advised to be inoculated against Maltesers. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 22.04.13 6:43pm
NORTH KOREA TO ADOPT 'STAR WARS' MISSILE DEFENCE SYSTEM. Langley, Virginia- Sources within the CIA have revealed that they are close to proving that North Korea has been developing a...

Chris Stacey 22.04.13 6:06pm
Al OPecia
Cars to be scrapped to build 'galactic spacecraft'

It has become known in the past few hours that, to help reduce Carbon Dioxide emissions, the UK and US government will be requiring all citizens to bring their cars to a local 'drop-off' centre,...

22.04.13 5:58pm
Germ warfare alert after terror suspect caught with a bag of measles. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 22.04.13 5:20pm
Fears Suarez can't feed himself on present salary 2
sydalg 22.04.13 5:03pm
Dawkins backs down as Archbishop of Canterbury says "Come outside and say that" 0
sydalg 22.04.13 4:53pm
Hunt: If clever is so good, how come teachers and nurses don’t rule the UK?

Following a specially convened meeting, Cabinet Ministers have issued a 'witty comeback' as a response to nursing and teaching unions who branded planned reforms 'stupid'. Intended to demoralise the...

monkeyrepublic 22.04.13 3:21pm
Lecherous mathmatician opens Möbius strip club. 0
sredni vashta 22.04.13 3:15pm
sredni vashta
Hallmark of a great striker is he's always hungry, says agent for Luis Suarez 2
ronseal 22.04.13 3:13pm
sredni vashta
Dawkins’ self-destructive gene

Britain’s leading rationalist, Richard Dawkins, has claimed that a rogue element in his own genome is hell-bent on self destruction and has hijacked his Twitter feed to achieve its evil aims....

monkeyrepublic 22.04.13 3:02pm
Vicky Pryce persuades Carina Trimingham to wear her electronic tag 0
Sinnick 22.04.13 12:57pm

Silicon Valley - Apple, the world's largest company, have repackadged and renamed a fistfull of products in an attempt to boost it's stagnant market in New Zealand. Steve Wozniak,Co-founder of...

Chris Stacey 22.04.13 12:40pm
Chris Stacey
Trying to access porn sites was not legitimate test of company’s IT system

A man had his claim for wrongful dismissal thrown out after he admitted attempting to get into pornographic websites at work. At his tribunal, Mr Neville Smart explained that he’d had the...

Midfield Diamond 22.04.13 12:24pm
Midfield Diamond
FA Cup Final Moved To Mars

The final of this year’s FA Cup Final will now be played some 225 million km’s away from its spiritual home on Earth to the red planet known as Mars. Some football fans have claimed this is a...

Hooch 22.04.13 12:24pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Reece Witherspoon "praises" racial and minority groups in drunken rant to cops 0
thackaray 22.04.13 11:58am
Suarez admits he wouldn't be surprised to be given the elbow 0
Smart Alex 22.04.13 11:41am
Smart Alex
Cadburys unveiled as the new sponsor for the London Snickers 5
Ironduke 22.04.13 11:33am
Chelsea players decline Suarez offer of conciliatory blow jobs. 1
A.A.Arkwright 22.04.13 11:19am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Inept Scaffolders Forced Into Embarrassing Climbdown. 0
sredni vashta 22.04.13 11:09am
sredni vashta
Panto star accused of feeling Grumpy. 0
sredni vashta 22.04.13 11:05am
sredni vashta
Model Village, in race scandal after refusing Naomi Campbell admittance

We're discerning not racist claims head of Model Village. More soon...

simonjmr 22.04.13 10:59am
'I told Suarez to be a handful not a mouthful', says Liverpool manager Rodgers 0
custard cream 22.04.13 10:39am
custard cream