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EU corruption is "brilliant!" - EU commission

More to follow...

apepper 04.02.14 1:46pm
Dalai Lama sees Katy Hopkins on Benefits St debate. Renounces non-violence.

More shrill horsey cack masquerading as "common sense" at 1...

blokefromstoke 04.02.14 1:13pm
custard cream
Channel 5 invites Big Daddy and Giant Haystacks to debate Britain on Benefits

Following the success of its intelligently hosted and sensitively handled debate about unemployment benefit, Channel 5 is to extend the brief and host more programmes in a similar vein. In a new...

ronseal 04.02.14 12:39pm
Katy Hopkins fails to whinny an opinion for 2 mins. Mouth heals up.

no more. please god no more at 1...

blokefromstoke 04.02.14 12:38pm
Health and Harmony

Food Banks running low on essentials - looking for more spam donors...

christophergriffin 04.02.14 12:17pm
Australian Open winner Li Na tests positive for lithium and sodium. More soon. 7
dominic_mcg 04.02.14 11:22am
Charles visits Somerset Levels, to flog organic sandbags 0
Bigglesworth 04.02.14 11:17am
Demise of actor sees his name changed to Philip Seyless Hoffman 0
custard cream 04.02.14 11:12am
custard cream
Gove argues more schools should be like Hogwarts

In what was seen as tacit admission that the public sector was falling behind on OECD's International Defence against the Dark Arts tests, the Secretary of State insisted that schools should adopt a...

Wrenfoe 04.02.14 11:12am
Ed Milliband revealed to be highly sophisticated robot owned by Unison.

Today, Unison's experts in robotics have come clean after what they described as "a bit of fun" has now gone too far. "We just built him to take part in the election, we never expected him to win," a...

Sammy 04.02.14 11:03am
Isle of Wight castaway rescued after 14 months adrift on Somerset Levels

The Isle of Wight castaway who washed up on Glastonbury Tor after 14 months at sea begged to be fed buttered scones when he was first found, it has emerged. Sporting a bedraggled beard and long...

Son of Barnabas 04.02.14 9:53am
Son of Barnabas
Giant sponge dropped on Somerset

The world's largest sponge was dramatically dropped onto Somerset last night by the Environment Agency's specialist aerial bombardment unit. Officials have reportedly been instructed by Ministers to...

BAJDixon 04.02.14 9:31am
Son of Barnabas
An addict writes: my life without Russell Brand.

I'm clean now. As clean as I'll ever be. It's been three months and seventeen days since I last had a 'fix.' Sure, I've been tempted; after all, I read the Guardian, so Brand is available all the...

FOAD 04.02.14 9:15am
Tribe of Native Americans turned away from restaurant despite having reservation

Been done?...

Smart Alex 04.02.14 9:09am
'Noah' most popular boys' name in Somerset 0
Dick Everyman 04.02.14 8:47am
Dick Everyman
Somerset Levels level levellest since records began 0
Idiot 04.02.14 8:42am
Universities to change science degree award to BA (Hons)

The minister for science and reducing education, Mr Wallets, is delighted to announce that the new model for UK science policy is taking effect. Mr Wallets was visiting Fogthorn College this week to...

Robert Koch 04.02.14 8:42am
Dick Everyman
Actor’s untimely death ‘tragically’ leaves no work for understudies

While the Hollywood community is still coming to terms with the sad demise of Philip Seymour Hoffman, struggling movie stars have had to contend with the shock that The Hunger Games franchise will...

Wrenfoe 04.02.14 8:21am
Eskimos down to seven words for snow due to global warming 1
sydalg 04.02.14 5:41am
Lindy Moone
World's strongest man prime event to be opening a jar of salsa 0
Dumbnews 04.02.14 4:38am
Canary shaped like Poland increasing nervous about cat that looks like Hitler 0
sydalg 04.02.14 1:17am
Environment Agency to float on the stock market 3
Kevin the Swan 04.02.14 12:10am
Bible ceases print edition, now beamed straight into people's heads by God

The environmental lobby is celebrating today as the last hard copy edition of the Word of God rolls off the press. It is estimated that the paper alone was costing the planet an acre of trees a day....

sydalg 03.02.14 9:52pm
Tories 'running out of people to call Marxist'.

Reports were unfolding of a crisis in the Tory party this afternoon, after claims of there being a severe shortage of people who they haven't already upset by referring to them as 'Marxists'. Having...

Electrelane 03.02.14 8:02pm
'No lasting damage done in Somerset' says thankful Environment Minister

Owen Patterson’s valet claims it took him nearly an hour to polish the Environment Minister’s brogues following his recent visit to the Somerset flood plains., The valet told the Commons Expense...

Gerontius 03.02.14 6:42pm
Jesus H
SNP aims high to win Scottish independence.

Health was today thrust firmly to the forefront of the campaign for Scottish Independence by SNP leader Alex Salmond. In a press conference at a chip shop in Glasgow he announced that as soon...

godly1966 03.02.14 6:12pm
Contrary Barber sacked for Splitting Hairs! 0
Njinski 03.02.14 5:24pm
Astrologer predicts we'll "see less Hoffman" in 2014 0
sydalg 03.02.14 5:20pm
Govesworth he sa, mak state skools like st custards chiz

Michael govesworth the educashun secretry hav told everybode he wants to brake the 'Berlin Wall' between state skools and his alma mater st custards which was founded by a mad man in 1836. This could...

Oxbridge 03.02.14 5:17pm
Seymour Hoffmans family touched as stars spend seconds Tweeting 'OMG/WTF'. 1
MADJEZ 03.02.14 5:14pm
rob box