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"New Evidence Re Dallas shooting….

"All right, who's the secret service guy who accidentally shot the President?"...

Jesse Bigg 17.11.13 12:19am
Miley virus classed as Sexually Televised Infection

In a week of natural disasters, human tragedy and suffering, a new STI has reared its ugly head to claim its stake as the latest virtual canker to cause widespread panic and confusion. The...

Robopop 16.11.13 10:57pm
Red Square naked performance artist gets the sack 4
medici2471 16.11.13 10:19pm
33rd year of Children in Need yet still no funds allocated to fix Pudsey's eye 4
Smart Alex 16.11.13 6:40pm
DfT Announces 'Advanced Advanced Stop Zone'

[u]"We really mean it this time"[/u], The advanced stop zone, or ASZ, was introduced as a means to accommodate the natural filtering behaviour of cyclists at traffic lights and to place the more...

lucus 16.11.13 6:27pm
Serial bigamist flees St Ives with sacks of stolen cats. More soon. 3
dominic_mcg 16.11.13 3:32pm
Government intervention to end charity cuntage confusion

The government has been forced to step in and offer guidance today after it became apparent that a Children in Need and Comic Relief have become indistinguishable for members of the public, leading...

Squudge 16.11.13 3:07pm
Tesco pain relief tablets in ice cream not part of 2 for 1 offer 0
custard cream 16.11.13 3:06pm
custard cream
Man ‘did not land on Moon’ says Obama

“Just thought I’d clear that up before Edward Snowden does” said Mr President, adding “of course it was a hoax, any fool can see that.”...

farmer giles 16.11.13 2:27pm
Bruce Forsyth 'faked his own life' 0
jp1885 16.11.13 2:22pm
Sri Lanka isn't rhyming slang for the Prime Minister, says spokesman. More soon 0
dominic_mcg 16.11.13 1:51pm
I am not Danny Dyer’s dad claims Quo legend

Status Quo rock and roll hero Francis Rossi today denied he is the father of Danny Dyer “I wish he was my son cos he’s a fucking great bloke” said Mr Rossi. Gossips’ suspicions were aroused...

farmer giles 16.11.13 1:50pm
farmer giles
I was just asking him for a cigarette, claims Alec Baldwin 0
medici2471 16.11.13 12:42pm
Hairdressers in call for assisted dyeing Bill. More soon. 1
Al OPecia 16.11.13 12:35pm
Search for silly tattoos on elderly to be made standard test for Alzheimer's 0
sydalg 16.11.13 12:17pm
Pensioners blame Dimbleby as tattooists' queues "now worse than at Post Office" 0
sydalg 16.11.13 12:16pm
Rat found in NHS operating theatre 'as well as can be expected' say pest control

Pest controllers were rushed to Nottingham’s Kings Mill Hospital late on Monday night after a rat was found in one of the operating theatres., Staff at the hospital feared that unless the rat was...

Gerontius 16.11.13 11:21am
BBC Wales to screen rival charity show "Children in Neath". fwy yn fuan. 5
Al OPecia 16.11.13 10:55am
Princess Anne says, "Let them eat horse meat"

In a speech yesterday Princess Anne suggested that people should eat horse meat. "Everyone", said the odd horsey woman, "has several horses they don't really need, and there is none of that worry...

Ian 16.11.13 9:49am
Everyone suggests we should consider eating Princess Anne

Britons have reacted to Princess Anne’s suggestion that they consider eating horsemeat by saying, on balance, they’d rather eat Princess Anne. Princess Anne made the suggestion to eat horses...

Yikes 16.11.13 9:17am
A&Es specialising in strokes are NHS's tribute to Savile 1
Lens Cap 16.11.13 8:39am
"Let them eat Hake" suggests posh person

A solution to the continuing Cod shortage devastating the Fish and Chip shop industry came from an unexpected source today. Speaking at a gathering of lickspittles someone with a specially trained...

vulture1 15.11.13 11:06pm
BREAKING: Toronto Mayor Rob Ford to "Spit a Verse" in Upcoming Miley Cyrus Song

It has been a turbulent few weeks for embattled Toronto mayor Rob Ford. First, there was the infamous video of the mayor smoking crack cocaine. While the mayor initially refuted claims of this...

TomTaylor 15.11.13 10:58pm
England find the Wembley weather a bit too Chile for their taste 0
irreverendJ 15.11.13 10:24pm
David Cameron in Colombo, cameo on Taggart may follow

More cop out later...

virtuallywill 15.11.13 8:12pm
Southern hemisphere bears launch class action lawsuit against John Lewis 0
antharrison 15.11.13 7:04pm
John Lennon ‘stole ‘I Am The Walrus’ from me’ says walrus

“He suddenly decided he wouldn’t keep me in fish every day for the rest of my life, despite our verbal agreement, that’s why I meticulously arranged his assassination to look like a crazed fan...

farmer giles 15.11.13 6:36pm
farmer giles
David Cameron to host Have I Got News For You Christmas Special

Panellists to be George Osborne and Boris Johnson. “We will sort out the total mess made by totally incompetent past Labour hosts and panellists and show the nation posh boys rule” quipped Dave....

farmer giles 15.11.13 5:59pm
farmer giles
Prince Charles : “Simon Cowell‘s Right – Ignorance and Luck Built The Empire"

HRH The Prince of Wales has defended Simon Cowell’s claim that children should fail at school and “get lucky” instead. “Every day one visits these dreary northern estates where blatantly...

deceangli 15.11.13 5:47pm
China boosts economy by donating "unwanted" second children to Pudsey Bear

Terry Wogan reciprocates by sending back previously unreleased footage of naked Floral dancing...

simmo 15.11.13 5:25pm