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Chigwell primary school teacher accused of pushing young children too hard 0
Backup Brian 17.09.13 9:50am
Backup Brian
Savage Tree Attack - Wood Yew Beleaf It!

2 Women in Norfolk were left stunned when a tree fell on the car in which they were travelling on Saturday morning, on route to a costume and textile fair. "The car is a write off!" Reported the...

Flugelbinder 17.09.13 9:39am
Prince Harry to be sent to the South Pole in the hope it's too cold to strip off 0
Ian Searle 17.09.13 9:33am
Ian Searle
Liberal Democrats attempt largest salvage operation in history

A major salvage operation is underway in Glasgow, where a team of engineers are said to be 'extremely pessimistic' about their chances of successfully resurrecting a sunken political party, the...

The Paper Ostrich 17.09.13 9:30am
Grand Auto Theft very popular in Liverpool 0
John Wiltshire 17.09.13 9:04am
John Wiltshire
Labour calls for debate on posh men wearing bow ties

The shadow Home Secretary has created a storm by calling for a public debate on men wearing bow ties., Yvette Cooper said “This item of attire betrays a sense of superiority and wealth by the...

Sfox 17.09.13 8:51am
School birth the solution to waiting lists

For those parents concerned about catchment areas, wraparound care and the cost of uniforms, Manford Primary School may have the answer. By encouraging staff to give birth in the classroom, Education...

Wrenfoe 17.09.13 8:36am
MP vows: "I'll tell women what to wear so their husbands don't have to"

oh sorry, that's actually just happened, hasn't it?...

Sfox 17.09.13 8:33am
Costa Concordia to relaunch immediately and offer two classes of travel 0
suki 17.09.13 8:32am
Man declared dead following no activity on social networks in 10 minutes

Hat tip to SFox...

Dumbnews 17.09.13 8:30am
Snooker game 'fixed to make it interesting'

Two snooker players were today banned from the game for life after evidence emerged that they had conspired to make their match interesting. The head of The World Snoozer Federation, Barry Lynton,...

John Wiltshire 17.09.13 8:23am
John Wiltshire
Beckhams showcase new tattoos at film premiere

Both have ‘I am a part’ tastefully tattooed onto own foreheads. Part of sponsorship deal with Prat Foods Inc...

farmer giles 17.09.13 8:18am
farmer giles
Lifestyle Choice: Wannabee seeks attention

“I feel like a new woman since having my foot transplanted onto my head” says former top topless model Fanny Galore. She’s also had breast implants on her clitoris for charity. “Children are...

farmer giles 17.09.13 8:17am
farmer giles
Herbalist convicted of giving short measures is forced to serve more thyme 0
Ian Searle 17.09.13 8:04am
Ian Searle
Iran threatens planet with terrifying cat-killing device 0
phil_smith 17.09.13 6:27am
United Wood Report: "Something definitely shits but can't say its the bears"

No more soon...

Not Amused 17.09.13 6:23am
Not Amused
Plastic bags dither on whether to give Nick Clegg the vote

“If I may say so” said Mr Clegg “that is a very silly idea” The plastic bags were unavailable for comment, but sources close to the plastic bag leadership indicated they were ‘not keen’...

farmer giles 17.09.13 12:40am
farmer giles
Village wishing well is a money pit, claims council. 3
Boutros 16.09.13 11:01pm
Ann Widdecombe told she must wear veil in court

Former MP, Ann Widdecombe, has been instructed by a judge that in her case, it is compulsory that she wears a face covering veil in future appearances in court...

apepper 16.09.13 10:23pm
Wiccans to be allowed to burn police, though not when giving evidence

Firelighters later...

virtuallywill 16.09.13 9:43pm
Batman fails to clean up Gotham City after accidentally donning futility belt 1
Smart Alex 16.09.13 9:35pm
UN inspectors likely to confirm that the Earth is NOT flat. 0
Squudge 16.09.13 9:15pm
Waterpark introduces slowest ride ever.

Al OPecia 16.09.13 9:15pm
Al OPecia
'If you love them, let them go' followed with tragic consequences at circus 16
fernandomando 16.09.13 8:52pm
Billy Connolly to record "If it wasn't for yer willies"

get well soon!...

Scronnyglonkle 16.09.13 7:53pm
Billy Connolly diagnosed as "appearing on the same Chat Show too many times". 1
Al OPecia 16.09.13 6:59pm
Barclays buys porn site, to instigate online sperm banking... 1
Tripod 16.09.13 6:59pm
Cuadrilla defeated by Godzilla 1
nickb 16.09.13 6:55pm
Al OPecia
What nothing yet about Billy's prostate op..shame on you world 0
irreverendJ 16.09.13 6:05pm
Salvage experts attempt to re-float Costa Brittania grounded by hopeless skipper

Marooned and half sunk, the Costa Brittannia has been left stranded for many months, after skipper Tony De Bushbitch steered it onto the rocks and abandoned ship, leaving millions in danger of...

ronseal 16.09.13 5:53pm