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Police banned from entering park after 8.00pm doe to safety concerns 2
melody 3 years

however if officers in their free time wish to enter and beat and rape people ,then there is nothing we can do ,apart from sweep it under the carpet ...

'Couple of pints' with Kim Jong-il ends badly for local bell-end 9
Golgo13 3 years

Renowned dickhead, Dave Keats (21) was rushed to Manchester Royal Infirmary in critical condition last night after what started as a friendly drink with the North Korean dictator turned ugly over a...

LibDems blissfully unaware of their upcoming scapegoat role, claims PM 2
bonjonelson 3 years

A secret memo leaked from the office of the Prime Minister today seems to indicate that leading figures in the Conservative Party are preparing the LibDems to be scapegoats for any possible failings...

Rats Found In Downing Street 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

A throw-back species with the nomenclature - Scrooge Dave and Double-Dip Osbourne...

Romford man is first to have anus exorcised 8
finneyp 3 years

A Romford man has become the first person to have his rectum exorcised following an outbreak of Ghost Poos. David McManus, 28, of Riverside Close encountered his first Phantom Poop three weeks ago...

Next version of Windows to be rolled out in series of "Security Updates" 2
Dumbnews 3 years
Sky to launch new comedy channel of Jim Davidson's shows. 0
martin2381 3 years
Woodland sell-off: bears may be forced to shit elsewhere... 1
Doylem 3 years
Scottish expats Mexico to get new tartan the Cameron diaz 0
simonjmr 3 years
Gender test proves SA runner Caster Semenya cannot understand offside rule 4
bonjonelson 3 years

[more soon]...

Osborne: Civil servants’ leaving parties are good for the economy. 0
Fred 3 years
Shock YouTube videos expose Les Dawson and Bernard Manning as sexist 0
Fred 3 years
Grauniad reporter beaten in Cairo for crimes against typography 2
simonjmr 3 years
Muppets to remake Simon McCorkindale 80's TV series as MahnaMahnanimal 0
simonjmr 3 years
Oxo makes exceptional first quarter gains on the Stock Market 2
bonjonelson 3 years

more sooon...

Richard Keys and Andy Gray coming out 0
4ty2 3 years

revealing their secret gay relationship. This now puts sky at risk of being sued for unfair dismissal under the gay equality act...

Inmate says prison saved him from life as a professional footballer 6
OllieP 3 years

Speaking from Wormwood Scrubs today, Dean Mullins revealed that if it wasn't for an aptitude for armed robberies, he may have had to make do with life as a Premiership footballer. After a promising...

33 Minors Emerge From Trapped Cavea De Berlusconi 2
thisisall1word 3 years
Pensioner drove into German church after Sat Nav detected car was due a service. 0
Ian Searle 3 years
"Women not sophisticated enough to understand post-feminist irony" claims Gray 9
A Wagonload Of Monkeys 3 years

Andy Gray is facing more criticism today for his assertion that women don't have the mental faculties to understand that his remarks were meant in a post-feminist ironic way. "Women just don't have...

Police investigate TV quiz host body theft by asking audience and phoning friend 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Fears as James Bond volcano comes to life and sinister man moves in with his cat 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Grey squirrels in bid to buy English forests 1
Fin Robertson 3 years

The Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (Defra) says it intends to refer a bid by grey squirrels to buy vast tracts of England’s forests to the Competition Commission. But it has...

Paris - Dakar Rally won by UPS van making next day delivery 3
seymour totti 3 years

More Soon (before 10am)...

Skeleton's career on line after having a few Berlusconis rattled in his cupboard 0
Basil_B 3 years
Worries for B.O.E's solvency as Mervyn King spotted buying 1000 monopoly sets. 0
Basil_B 3 years
"My solar powered rectal thermometer don't work" 1
greg various 3 years

says climate change sceptic."I'm going back to using a wet finger"...

Highways Agency criticised over roads that are now "unvehicleworthy". 2
seymour totti 3 years

More soon!...

Sky Sports to appoint Hermaphrodite Football Presenters 0
AndyOverhead 3 years

Non-inside sources have hinted that Sky Sports will replace Richard Keys and Andy Gray with a hermaphrodite presenter and football analyst to 'cover all bases'., "Lets see them accuse these...

Andy Gray to be pulling pints at the Frog & Feminist in Shoreditch... 1
Doylem 3 years