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Mubarek warns that Egypt 'will become a dictatorship' 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

Outgoing Egyptian president Mubarek today warned that if he leaves office the country will become a dictatorship, with no other political parties allowed, no freedom of speech, pictures of the...

Wogan to form interim Irish Government 9
red 3 years

Against a backdrop of discord, veteran broadcaster Terry Wogan, who dearly loves the 'old country', has agreed to take over running it for a while as that nation's politicians sort themselves out. ...

Dog walkers drafted to aid the fight against the Taliban 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years

An MOD spokesmen said "Scientific research shows that dog walkers have a sixth sense and never step in dog mess themselves. The MOD believes that with these people at the head of every patrol,it will...

Tories welcome new expenses system for MPs 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

'This is an excellent new system,' said a Tory spokesman. 'It discriminates against poor MPs, so with any luck Parliament will soon consist solely of rich Tory toffs, and we can concentrate on taking...

‘Wet-look’ trousers just ‘wet’, admits incontinent clubber... 0
Doylem 3 years
Cholesterol death fears denied by Dairy farmers - Depends upon how you take it. 0
A Crooked MP 3 years
Australian premier apologises for hurricane 'tragedy' 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard has apologised for no-one being killed in the recent hurricane., 'I'm really sorry,' she said to the assembled press. 'It's such a tragedy that you can't get...

Sarah Palin calls for rioters to overthrow hated President Mubarak Obama 11
Oxbridge 3 years

Sarah Palin has pledged the support of the Republicans for the millions of protesters demanding the removal of President Mubarak Obama. Obama, who has held power for nearly three years or 30...

Egyptian protestors confirm that sticks and stones actually bloody hurt 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years
British media ‘the most anxious to consider a sample size of 8 as news’ 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Report warns school geography risks becoming an outlier in the curriculum 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Japanese TV launches new quiz show ‘Fry or no Fry?’ 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Changes to Nobility Living Allowance mean dozens could miss out 6
Zadok the second 3 years

The Government has announced a significant change to the Nobility Living Allowance eligibility criteria which could mean literally eleven aristocratic families lose the benefit. Changes being...

Davos crowned the Olymp for the Gods of today 0
4ty2 3 years

Homo economicus migration to Davos has established the place as the epicentre of modern Gods. Detached from the chores of mortal life and focussed on self-interest they have come together to select...

Amazon basin unblocked by plumber. 0
malgor 3 years
Tories To Encourage Unemployed To Tree Hug 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

Yippee, another Big Society idea!...

TUC Says Voodoo Cameron Dolls A Big Hit Throughout UK 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

"Keep backstabbing the workers, 'Cammy' and we'll voodoo you," said one TUC spokesman., What next? Voodoo banker dolls?...

Too-Fat-For-Loo-Seat McDonalds customers given "Nappy Meals" 0
wolfie 3 years

Amazon-Destroying Beef-Based Obesity Giants, Micky D's, have responded to the increasing mammoth grossness they induce in their customers by providing free nappies to those who cannot enter or fit on...

Tom Jones and Ken Hom to front new musical cookery show 'Wok's New Pussycat?' 4
wallster 3 years

Noooo, somebody stop me...

Liverpool prefers 'Small Club' to 'Big Society' 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

Perm wigs not included...

Mubarak 'to go' When Egypt builds him a Pyramid 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

Six other tasks to follow...

Tahrir Square still safer than Albert Square insists Arab League 0
Gerontius 3 years

Looking grim...

Many "cock up" puns expected as 700,000 condoms lost in transit 0
thackaray 3 years
Maria ‘Last Tango” Schneider dies. “Butter-assisted sex will never be the same”. 0
Doylem 3 years
Ambulance doors to be widened, to same size as McDonalds Doors 1
Rowly 3 years

NHS new ruling. If patients can get into McDonalds, they should be able to get into an ambulance for standard treatment. if they cant get into Macdonalds (and therefore an ambulance). they should be...

'Big Society' gutted by Liverpool decision to opt out 0
Gerontius 3 years

A sad day indeed...

Happy slappers say Cairo festival was their most successful ever 0
Fred 3 years
Cadbury launch new lower fat Dairy Milk Bar for same Great Price 5
A Wagonload Of Monkeys 3 years

Great news for consumers today as Cadbury announced the launch of their new Dairy Milk bar that contains 14% less fat than before. "It is exactly the same taste" says marketing director Gary...

Disappointment as Ed Miliband lands in Helmand 5
beau-jolly 3 years

Soldiers expecting to enjoy the Steve Miller Band were left disappointed when the Labour leader arrived at Camp Bastion. Commander of Nato forces in Afghanistan, US General David Petraeus said,...

Sherbert dib-dabs hit by double dip. 2
beau-jolly 3 years