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Arse-kicking party “a dream too far” for Pistorius...

A friend of the sprinter, who wants to remain anonymous, wonders what might have been. “From an early age Oscar knew exactly what he wanted to do: run at the Paralympics, compete against...

6
Tripod 14.02.13 11:01pm
AReader
Terry Gilliam speaks direct to camera; "It's only a model". 0
topfotogmw 14.02.13 10:33pm
topfotogmw
O'Farrell To Stand For Labour At Eastleigh By-election

Now there's a thing...

0
tamoshanter 14.02.13 10:31pm
tamoshanter
Tests prove Gareth Bale 90% monkey 0
topfotogmw 14.02.13 10:23pm
topfotogmw
Irving: "Nazis Mistook Jews For Burglars" 1
Mike Turbine-Hamilton 14.02.13 10:01pm
lane-avenger
Disgraced athlete Pistourius test positive for WD40 3
Scronnyglonkle 14.02.13 10:00pm
lane-avenger
police stumped over Pistorius shooting 1
victimms 14.02.13 9:23pm
Squudge
"I had the world at my prosthetic, rubberised pads", laments Pistorious 1
topfotogmw 14.02.13 8:49pm
Yikes
Pistorius: On second thoughts chocolates would have been better

Fuck its been a long depressing day (no cards again, off to bed with Mr Snuggles, Cosmopolitan and a box of tissues)...

0
lane-avenger 14.02.13 8:43pm
lane-avenger
Tragedy as Pistorius's girlfriend dies before she could have sex with John Terry 26
Oxbridge 14.02.13 8:31pm
lane-avenger
Oscar Pistorius found to be 29% Pope

I’m getting good at this, that’s three separate stories combined into one incoherent headline...

3
Spartacus 14.02.13 8:27pm
lane-avenger
Poundland declares independence from UK

In a surprise move, the popular High Street retailer has announced that it intends to become an independent sovereign state, and will now be known as the Democratic People’s Republic of Poundland...

3
TheNewsWalrus 14.02.13 8:23pm
lane-avenger
Pistorius: I only shot once - the other seven were recoil

Boinnnnnngggg! Boinnnnnnnggg! (Apologies to anyone offended by this)...

0
lane-avenger 14.02.13 8:20pm
lane-avenger
police complete the leg work on Pistorius' girlfriend shooting 0
victimms 14.02.13 8:12pm
victimms
Catholic church in crisis as horse meat found in transubstantiated host. 0
the coarse whisperer 14.02.13 7:41pm
the coarse whisperer
Jo’burg police: Pistorius doesn’t have a leg to stand on. 0
sigmund 14.02.13 6:53pm
sigmund
Man stroking calf who lost voice was actually feeling a little hoarse.

Probably a frog in his throat. A lady I know went to a loo in Australia once and a frog leapt out. 'A lady who finds a frog in the loo could end up with toad in the hole.' It might not be news to...

0
SJN 14.02.13 6:18pm
SJN
Pistorious changes M.O. from bladerunner to gunrunner... 0
topfotogmw 14.02.13 5:51pm
topfotogmw
Pistorius: Wife was always nagging me about putting my feet on the coffee table. 0
brd888 14.02.13 5:51pm
brd888
Warren Buffett invests heavily in cold bouillon

surely that's awful enough for a ticker?...

5
14.02.13 5:50pm
riesler
X found to be 75% Y 4
cinquecento 14.02.13 5:36pm
Rootin Tootin
Nike pull Oscar Pistorius ad but you can see it here

http://static2.businessinsider.com/image/511cfc8669bedda44d000004-640-360-621-349/original-36.jpg...

1
custard cream 14.02.13 5:35pm
AReader
Spaghetti bologneighs. 8
malgor 14.02.13 5:23pm
AReader
Your Questions Answered About Gun Control

Q. Why do so many Americans carry guns? A. Constitutionally, Americans were meant to be allowed to 'bare' arms (i.e. wear T-shirts and Sleeveless vests. However, due to an unfortunate typo, the...

1
Smart Alex 14.02.13 5:04pm
AReader
Bird triumphs

A bird has triumphed in the North of England. The feathered thing has been recognised for its efforts by the North's biological mayor, Alan Pander, who presented it with a necklace. Jewellery...

3
Mik Bulk 14.02.13 4:26pm
Gerontius
South African Police “stumped”... 2
Tripod 14.02.13 3:50pm
Oxbridge
Horse food found in Waitrose luxury muesli

Tests carried out by reading the label on a packet of Waitrose luxury muesli have revealed that it contains a large percentage of horse food. As a result, all supermarkets are removing muesli...

7
Des Custard 14.02.13 3:21pm
writinginbsl
Pistorius murder trial will not be played over 2 legs 1
Perks 14.02.13 3:04pm
Scronnyglonkle
Record numbers of cows not in employment, education or training

Look a little closer at Britain's green and pleasant land and a new social problem will quickly become apparent. Record numbers of unemployed cows are claiming millions of pounds in welfare payments...

0
Aberdeen Correspondent 14.02.13 2:32pm
Aberdeen Correspondent
Pope Benedict's resignation statement in full

Carus frater , EGO have convoked vos ut is consisto , non tantum pro three canonisations , tamen quoque ut defero vobis a sententia of valde gravitas pro vita of templum. Secundum having crebro...

0
custard cream 14.02.13 2:31pm
custard cream