Topic — Add New » Comments Votes Author Last Comment
PM retracts Pastie story remembers he bought Walls Conrinsh Icecream in Leeds 0
Scronnyglonkle 29.03.12 9:44am
Scronnyglonkle
Fuel strike threat hits central London as commuters panic-buy Oyster cards

Londoners travelling to work today have been finding long queues at Oyster card top-up points, after threatened fuel strikes sparked a wave of panic-buying amongst commuters. With many of the...

7
Vertically Challenged Giant 29.03.12 1:42pm
Scronnyglonkle
Actress Donna Air to appear in court on Fraudulant Airline charges

Former child actress and Gary Glitter favourite Donna Air appeared in court charged with duping customers into believing she was a fake low cost airline. Ms Air curely exploted her native north...

0
Scronnyglonkle 29.03.12 9:41am
Scronnyglonkle
Cameron insists he's familiar with 'corniche parsties'

David Cameron has fought back against claims he’s out of touch with the common man, by insisting his most recent 'parsty' was ‘delicious, and packed full of nutritious swan meat’. Cameron was...

4
29.03.12 5:40pm
Health warning over new pasties that contain 20% saturated VAT

big hat tip to weematt...

0
bonjonelson 29.03.12 9:34am
bonjonelson
Man's Whitehall life, career, house, cabinet up for sale.

A complete new lifestyle beside the city could be yours, for £250,000. David Cameron, from Peasemore in Berkshire, is marketing his political party, six bedroom Whitehall mansion, principles, and...

0
ianrbland 29.03.12 9:11am
ianrbland
Tories say "fill up your tank when half empty". Opposition say when "half full". 0
bonjonelson 29.03.12 8:59am
bonjonelson
Bashar Al-Assad advises army: "Top up your tanks"

More bombardment soon...

0
ianrbland 29.03.12 8:58am
ianrbland
Cabinet Ministers "better at causing disruption" striking tanker drivers concede

Tanker drivers have called off their proposed strike amid fears that any disruption they could cause would pale into insignificance alongside the chaos that cabinet ministers have created with a few...

11
bonjonelson 29.03.12 4:54pm
writinginbsl
Stuart Lancaster to coach England Rugby AND Football teams

As widely expected, Stuart Lancaster has today been announced today as the new coach of the England Rugby Union team. However in a surprise move, it has also been announced that he will take over the...

2
FarmerGiles 29.03.12 12:23pm
FarmerGiles
5 year old rules out negotiations with parents over teddy bear hostages

A five year old girl from Shepton Mallet has today reiterated that on no account will she negotiate with hostage takers. The statement was made by Phoebe Taylor following speculation that she may be...

11
ianslat 09.09.12 3:10pm
rikkor
Simon update

A spoke person for Simon Cowell said all is back to normal after finding out that the intruder that broke into Simon’s bedroom didn’t steal any hair spray...

0
waggy 29.03.12 8:28am
waggy
Stuart Lancaster named as next England rugby coach to be sacked 0
medici2471 29.03.12 8:24am
medici2471
Greggs new ACAS snack range. Can be sold after a suitable cooling off period

another variant...

0
weematt 29.03.12 8:15am
weematt
Health Minister defends Pasty Tax." Cold pasties have a 20% lower VAT content." 0
weematt 29.03.12 7:52am
weematt
Greggs - Osborne Pasty dispute. Cooling off period agreed. 0
weematt 29.03.12 7:42am
weematt
Hey..

Does anybody remember the name of that guy that wrote the book 'How to never forget another name or face again!'?...

0
Theodore Sprangshaft 29.03.12 7:38am
Theodore Sprangshaft
I have never understood why they test cosmetics

and perfumes on rabbits as they can't afford to buy it no matter how good they smell or look after...

2
Theodore Sprangshaft 01.04.12 4:30am
Theodore Sprangshaft
Osborne to introduce hot weather tax

starting 1st November...

0
Tomfinger 29.03.12 7:22am
Tomfinger
Confused Pope criticises US Lambada on Cuba

But was quite impressed with Salsa...

0
Scronnyglonkle 29.03.12 7:21am
Scronnyglonkle
Albino's fear new government Pasty face tax

A spokesman blushed at the mention of the tax...

0
Scronnyglonkle 29.03.12 7:02am
Scronnyglonkle
Drunken Tory Minister tells drivers "Store your Petrol & Diesel in a Jeroboem"

Majestick reports queues...

0
Scronnyglonkle 29.03.12 6:57am
Scronnyglonkle
Maude clarifies "..keep fuel in Jerry CARS in your garage; I've a Porsche & BMW"

more later...

2
dvo4fun 29.03.12 7:35am
Perks
Government advice for accident witnesses; "crowd around, plenty to see"

The government has changed it's advice for accident witnesses. "Have a good look, there's lots to look at. Why not get on your mobile and call your mates round to get a real crowd going."...

0
apepper 29.03.12 6:50am
apepper
Greggs admits supplies have run dry after politicians panic buy pasties 3
ronseal 29.03.12 8:34am
ronseal
How to drive men crazy in bed!

See thread below...

0
Theodore Sprangshaft 29.03.12 5:18am
Theodore Sprangshaft
How to drive women crazy in bed!

Fart, snore and grind your teeth...

0
Theodore Sprangshaft 29.03.12 5:17am
Theodore Sprangshaft
Want to hang out with beautiful young ladies..

travel the world and party in the very best 5 star hotels whilst being paid a boat load then the IMF is waiting for you!...

0
Theodore Sprangshaft 29.03.12 4:53am
Theodore Sprangshaft
If Only IKEA made nuclear missiles..

then we could offer North Korea an alternative to testing.provide them with an 'off the shelf' solution tried and tested? It would be shipped flat-pack with assembly instructions in Turkish and by...

0
Theodore Sprangshaft 29.03.12 4:39am
Theodore Sprangshaft
Fueling financial hiccups is a piece of pastry.

In a bid to lighten the dark cloud sitting over the March budget Prime Minister Dr David Macaroon decided that an early April Fuels joke was in order. Sick and tired of hearing complaints about the...

0
kondorish 29.03.12 12:25am
kondorish