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Scotland leaves United Kingdon, replaced by Belgium 18
Zadok the second 3 years

In a stunning diplomatic coup Prime Minister David Cameron has announced the formal accession of Belgium to the United Kingdom, replacing the tired and grumpy Scottish nation. "It's been an open...

Dyson announce bag-less, no-bin, no filter cleaner 2
hero2zero 3 years

The new Dyson, “The Dyson Black” will soon be unleashed onto to market, the first to utilise Large Hadron technology. No bag, no bin, just a black hole in a tube! Final trials are now underway in...

Man who doesn't want something disappointed because opponent does. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Man's superior sexual technique fails after forgetting valentines day gift 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Man with flu goes online and diagnoses himself with cancer 1
Dumbnews 3 years
Apple board holds Seance-Ference Call with Steve Jobs to ask WTF Do we do next? 1
ronseal 3 years

Senior Apple executives are in emergy seance talks with Steve Jobs as they try to hammer out an agreement over what the fuck to do next. Jobs departed this life leaving a lot of questions...

David Cameron has a "Scottish surname" to get votes against independence 0
simonjmr 3 years

Prime Minister David Cameron has outlined he has a Scottish surname get votes against Scottish independence, he further announced that it mean "bent nose" and that ginger hair, a liking for deep...

New review site launches, "" 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Prince Philip seized by bailiffs as Greek debt crisis deepens 0
cinquecento 3 years
Paul McCartney is giving up cannabis because of his daughter .. 0
Gourd Almighty 3 years

69 year-old former Beatle, Sir Paul McCartney, has told Rolling Stone magazine that he is to stop smoking cannabis because of his 8 year-old daughter, Beatrice. In his interview with Rolling Stone,...

NHS to move offshore in tax dodge 0
GrahamB 3 years

Following the revelation that 25 civil servants may have paid 18% less tax as a result of having their salaries paid into personal holding companies, Health Secretary Andrew Lansley today revealed...

Ticket sales for Houston soar after star’s death. 1
Babydaddy 3 years

In an unprecedented move, American Airlines have put on extra flights in the last few days as demand for tickets to Houston, Texas rocketed just hours after news of the R n B superstar’s untimely...

Luvverly Jubilee - Queen's Jubilee agenda to feature live beheadings 0
Newsquelch 3 years

Buckingham Palace have today published further details of the forthcoming Jubilee festivities. Monarchy fans queued up outside the palace gates for eight days without healthcare or sanitation to hear...

Argentine and British government 'stunned' by Falklands decision to join Jamaica 0
graciesdad 3 years

Argentine and British government officials were today said to be 'stunned' at the decision of residents of the Falkland Islands to become part of Jamaica. "In many ways it makes perfect sense" said...

Toy Story's Buzz Lightyear in London congestion charge row! 1
theadministrator 3 years

Transport For London today announced a change in its vehicle categorization policy after a review by a Commons Select Committee. The new legislation also includes Space Rangers like Buzz 'Aldrin'...

Nation enthralled as Kate does thing 20
The Paper Ostrich 3 years

The Duchess of Cambridge captivated the nation[s]al media[/s] this morning as she travelled to a place and did a thing. Wearing a stunning double crepe wool coat in sumptuous seasonal chestnut...

Huhne arrives late to court. Blames wife. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
PM talks up Scotland prior to placing on Ebay 0
apepper 3 years

PM David Cameron has spoken warmly of Scotland in an attempt to increase the number of bids for the country on Ebay. Cameron hopes to make the forthcoming referendum someone else's problem...

After success of Ian Paisley and Rangers, Pope switches prayer effort to Dawkins 0
charlies_hat 3 years

The Holy Trinity...

United Nations under pressure to break Bobby Brown’s knees 0
Peat1973 3 years

The United Nations has bowed to international pressure to convene a special committee on Bobby Brown, since the tragic death of his ex-wife, Whitney Houston at the weekend. Talentless wanker, The...

Ian Paisley moved out of intensive care, "for his own safety".... 0
theadministrator 3 years
UK asks Betty Ford clinic to withdraw clown prince Penn from south atlantic 1
ronseal 3 years

Clown Prince Penn, the former footman of Pop Queen Madonna, is to continue his controversial self promotional tour of the south atlantic. Britain has called the mobilising of the publicity seeking...

Al Jazeera launches controversial new women's midday chat show, Loose Burkas 2
ronseal 3 years

They're funny, they're sassy and they could have dynamite strapped to their chest - they've sashayed out of the bedouin and into the boardroom. Meet the cast of Loose Burkas, the new lunch time chat...

Tank Think-Tank Rethink Tank Thinking 3
Hugh Jarse 3 years

They’re the bullies in the playground of war. The menacing ne’er-do-well on the corner of Aggression Street. The burly, tattooed queue-jumper in the post office of human conflict. We know them...

Time wasting slogan chanting meeting makers could lead UK recovery says time w.. 0
ronseal 3 years

Independent research carried out by DMM (Dovetailed Marketing Messages) suggests that Britain could be sleepwalking into a triple dip recession if it cuts back on investment on meetings. The...

Cameron jets to Athens to seek vital Greek vote in Eurovision Song Contest 1
ronseal 3 years

David Cameron could pull of a coup for Britain right from under the German's noses. Capitalising on anti Euro dissent, the PM is jetting to Athens for high level talks - which could secure the key...

Wayne Rooney's racehorse to be called "Switcharooney" .. 0
Gourd Almighty 3 years

After weeks of speculation, a press conference at the Cheshire stables where Switcharooney will be trained was told, "Yeah, we're like well chuffed innit. Me an' Colleen were like sat up until the...

Royal Masturbation Fantasies Up 80% on 2010 6
SimonJJames 3 years

A recent poll has shown that of the 2000 men surveyed year on year, there is an uptick of 80% regarding fantasies involving a member of the Royal Family. The poll shows a level of interest not seen...

Argentina tensions escalate as UK deploys Duchess of Cornwall to Falklands 0
cinquecento 3 years
RAF in moustache shaving protest as derring-do budget slashed 0
cinquecento 3 years