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A man in Dorset revealed he used to be Indecisive

He's not not so sure now...

GillsImp 29.03.12 5:59pm
QPR Owner buys Mark Hughes Expensive Lighter

QPR owner has bought Mark Hughes a lighter as a gift. Apparently he keeps losing his matches...

GillsImp 29.03.12 7:17pm
Upper Crust Pies From Fortnum and Mason

Fortnum and Mason's are to launch a range of Upper Crust Pies . This follows hot (with added VAT) on the successful product placement in most newpapers by David Cameron " Once the PM was seen with...

Otis B Driftwood 29.03.12 5:55pm
Soldiers ready to replace any striking workers claims Government

Following the Government’s announcement that Army and RAF service personnel are ready to perform the work of striking tanker drivers if necessary, it has been revealed that their training has also...

Midfield Diamond 30.03.12 9:57pm
Formula 1 team admits to panic buying of Petrov 3
Smart Alex 30.03.12 11:23am
Police admit to speed cameras' total inability to detect amphetamine sulphate 3
Smart Alex 30.03.12 10:19am
Petrol station representative denies media reports of mass 'picnic buying'

"There are ample supplies of barbeques, brickettes, sandwiches, baguettes, Ginsters Pasties, Mr Kipling cakes, blankets, hampers and bottles of chilled Liebfraumilch." said the spokesman. "I don't...

pinxit 29.03.12 4:48pm
HMRC announcement of cold case review of hot food tax dodges gets tepid response

or something like that...

Underconstruction 29.03.12 4:29pm
Gerry McCann avoiding forecourts after panic filling incident 2
cinquecento 29.03.12 5:59pm
Tory donors face paying VAT on hot meals with Cameron 0
cinquecento 29.03.12 4:21pm
Buy milk now! Cows consider possibly giving 7 day warning that they might strike 1
Mr_Johno 29.03.12 4:22pm
Countdown lexicographer sacked after refusing to define ‘esoteric’

Countdown’s long-standing lexicographer Susie Dent was today given her marching orders after refusing to explain the meaning of the word ‘esoteric’ during yesterday’s show. Reigning champion...

grumblechops 29.03.12 5:44pm
Seabird population under threat due to panic buying of petrels

Hat tip to dragonman...

Smart Alex 29.03.12 4:51pm
Cornwall facing economic ruin after pastie ruling

Cornwall has withdrawn its claim for independence, after fears of a Greek-style economic melt-down, following the announcement of the so-called 'pastie tax' by Chancellor George Osborne., The major...

Underconstruction 29.03.12 2:57pm
Burlesque dancers bemused by shortage of pasties 0
Dragonman 29.03.12 2:52pm
Nation's top brass criticized for unpolished comments 0
Dumbnews 29.03.12 2:30pm
Entrepreneur launches new dating concept, "Speed Rejection" 0
Dumbnews 29.03.12 2:28pm
Tanker drivers agree to perform RAF roles as fears of air attack intensify

Beleaguered RAF commanders have admitted that Esso fuel tanker drivers are being used as a stopgap to fill in for those staff, temporarily mustered to prevent a fuel delivery crisis across the nation...

Underconstruction 29.03.12 9:11pm
Cameron admits he's drunk Pastis 9
beau-jolly 31.12.13 3:15pm
Al OPecia
Buggy top microwaves sell out as single mums flock to Greggs cold pasty counters 0
medici2471 29.03.12 2:12pm
Motorist attempting to fill unsuitable container at pump called "potty" 0
Nails UK 29.03.12 2:06pm
Nails UK
Greggs to sell uncooked pasties, food poisoning cases expected to fall 0
simonjmr 29.03.12 2:01pm
"Reet Petite" is surprise number one after death of dart player 2
Nails UK 29.03.12 3:18pm
Fire service apologises for mix-up after storming Jerry McCann's garage...

Red-faced fire officers have apologised 'unreservedly' after a raid on the home of Kate and Gerry McCann in which they expected to find stockpiles of unleaded-ultra petrol., Speaking from the...

Underconstruction 29.03.12 1:48pm
Garages run out of 'brown paper bags' as panic buyers start hyperventilating 3
Perks 29.03.12 5:38pm
Eat pasties cold advice was 'half-baked' admits Osbourne. 0
JETFAB 29.03.12 1:11pm
Business news: Nasdaq down, UK Pasty tax could affect Apple turnover 1
weematt 29.03.12 1:07pm
Judge grants Greggs an Injuction over Pastiegate affair

A High-court Judge today granted Baker Greggs an Injunction to prevent further disclosure of details in what is rapidly becoming know the as “Pastygate” affair. The Daily Mail is threatening to...

Scronnyglonkle 29.03.12 1:38pm
Tories beg tanker drivers "please strke asap" and get us out of this awful hole

In a few short hours the conservatives created strike conditions from a totally strike free situation,a bumbling maude wittering about jerrycans advising everyone to break the law and turn the garage...

29.03.12 5:50pm
UK - Rumours of ham and egg shortage causing panic frying. 2
weematt 29.03.12 4:52pm