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Harry Potter to get BAFTA 3
beau-jolly 3 years

The Harry Potter films will receive an outstanding British contribution to cinema prize at this year's Bafta awards, organisers have announced., Potter star Daniel Radcliffe, 21, said he had "loved...

Drug Dealers Congregate on High Street 1
AndyOverhead 3 years

Salisbury Council has today launched a new campaign to free its streets of drugs, following reports of an increased number of dealings in broad daylight. Councillor Rupert Dumfries-Thornton-Jones...

Forestry Commission job cuts set to 'clear out the dead wood' insists Cameron 7
wallster 3 years

Toe curlingly bad joke. Very very sorry...

Al-Quaeda spokesman pleads for “more effective suicide bombing”... 0
Doylem 3 years

An anonymous spokesman for Al-Quaeda, speaking from a sparsely-appointed cave somewhere in the Pashtun Mountains, on the border between Afghanistan and Pakistan, addressed the poor results of some...

Liverpool CC opt out of Big Society, millions follow 0
ollyb_1st 3 years

Millions of UK citizens have followed the lead of Liverpool Country Council by writing to David Cameron asking to opt out of the Big Society. One such letter received by the cabinet office read...

Scousers to adopt closed shop society 0
simonjmr 3 years
5 elated, 1500 pleased as news spreads through Cairo of Kate Moss engagement 0
kidkid 3 years
Man’s imagination now “too dull even to fantasise properly’... 0
Doylem 3 years

“Even my sexual fantasies are boring these days”, sighed Brian Fellgate, 47, brutally aware that, having reached middle age, his best days were almost certainly behind him. “My porn stash is so...

Ken, now 50, finally comes to terms with anatominal incorrectness. 1
Ostsee 3 years
Serial killer, Peter Tobin, depressed that he’s “still not a household name”... 0
Doylem 3 years
Ascot races to be moved to Tahir Square 1
wwwiz 3 years

In an effort to gain greater media exposure for the races at Ascot, the Crown Estate announced that the racecourse will be moved to Cairo's Tahir Square. "We reckon that the protests will dissolve...

Tesco's 'What's wrong with the trolley?' quiz becomes instant hit 2
antharrison 3 years

Supermarket giant Tesco was said to be delighted today at the success of its new quiz which allows hapless shoppers to be asked to guess what's wrong with the trolley they are about to select....

Employee Engagement Survey results reveal two are engaged the rest are going out 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Tahir Square protesters turn out to contain Mubarak Flash mob 0
4ty2 3 years

who appeared without warning to secure their "well earned" position in society...

The Molotov Cocktail back in fashion. 0
James 3 years

The Molotov Cocktail is back in fashion. Recently trending in Basra and the Gaza Strip and now becoming the 'must have' drink in Cairo...

The Transport Minister on the bus goes ‘cut-cut-cut, cut-cut-cut,cut-cut-cut’ 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
‘Daily Telegraph’ asks if tests for human vCJD are getting easier 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Launch of campaign against bus cuts delayed by staff sickness 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Duke of Edinburgh arranges for Camilla to be killed off in ‘Archers’ episode 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Blizzard fails to live up to expectations 2
Dumbnews 3 years
Cairo Weather: Sunni with a 90 percent chance of rioting. 1
rikkor 3 years
Craig Oliver criticises the BBC for political bias against the Tories 0
Ostsee 3 years
Western media still confused about who to side with in Egypt 1
Dumbnews 3 years
Schoolboy Claims Game Of 'It' Void As He "Wasn't Ready" 11
jampot 3 years

A school playground was plunged into confusion yesterday when a 7-year old boy demanded that a game of 'It' be restarted because he was not ready. David Metcalfe, a pupil at St Mary's School,...

Little Piggies 'structural deficit deniers' says Big Bad Wolf 0
pinxit 3 years
Wise Men 'groomed' Jesus claims expert 0
Mrblacker 3 years

The Three Wise Men who brought gold, Frankincense and Myrrh to the infant Jesus, were predatory paedophiles according to a biblical scholar. Dr Matthew McGrath from Oxford University says careful...

Frank Wisner suffers a stroke: Mubarak bereft of speech 1
Hunter F. Thompson 3 years

has cardiac arrest. Cheney's army surplus defilibrators, blocked by pro-Mubarak protests, arrive too late to save the washed-up Egyptian dictator's life. More soon...

German Telecomms Giant Siemens Announces New Rival To Apple Iphone 2
custard cream 3 years

The new phone will be a mini version of the iphone and will be known as the.. ilittler...

Osama Bin Laden to revolutionise Islam 3
4ty2 3 years

following the observation of a single man burning to death in Tunisia starting fire spreading across the Arab nations whilst his suicide bombers have achieved nothing like it he released a video...

Uproar at BBC when early evening show goes out without Phil Tufnell appearing 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years

The BBC has issued a formal apology to license fee payers after Monday's One Show went out without a feature by Phil Tufnell "We acknowledge the importance of Phil to perk every one up after a hard...