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Euro booked into Dignitas 0
medici2471 3 years
Costa cappuciso expresso 0
medici2471 3 years
Redknapp muggers get away with a hundred big ones. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Italian ship sinking downgraded from disaster to incident after no Britons die. 3
the coarse whisperer 3 years
Italian Cruise Ship Crew arrested for failing to panic 0
Nearly Normal 3 years

Italian police have arrested cruise ship Concordia's captain Francesco Schettino on suspicion of leaving the ship before it was evacuated. Police confirm he was found hiding under his mother's...

Constipated pensioner found motionless 17
Major Clanger 3 years
Norfolk children confused by claim that numbers are based on 10 fingers 0
apepper 3 years

Norfolk schoolchildren are being confused by teachers' explanation of the decimal system. "He said we count in tens because that's how many fingers we have. But I've got 8 fingers, 17 if you include...

North Korea invades Manchester Blockbusters. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
95% of women prefer rabbits in the bedroom to a horse in the living room 4
victimms 3 years
Whooping and Cheering causes Coughing and Jeering 0
victimms 3 years

The Health Protection Agency has today confirmed that cases of whooping and cheering are on the rise., A report has found that people in their own homes who take it upon themselves to make these...

Cash machine tunnel: list of suspects grows 0
roybland 3 years

Police investigating the theft of £6000 by a gang which dug a 100ft tunnel partly through concrete to a cash machine at a Blockbuster shop, say their list of suspects is growing. 'Six months to dig...

Woman awakes from coma as Danny Glover 13
hughesroland 3 years

The family of a Bristol woman who awoke from a six-year coma as film actor Danny Glover expressed their surprise at her transformation today. Doreen Peacock, 27, slipped into a coma in January 2006...

Increase in cash machine tunnels predicted 0
roybland 3 years

Britain could see a sharp rise in the number of people using tunnels to withdraw money from cash machines, economists say. Thieves in Manchester recently spent six months digging a 100ft tunnel to...

New York City destroyed in Tetris re-enactment mishap 3
hughesroland 3 years
Countries fed up with low credit ratings to stop using Standard & Poors... 1
Smart Alex 3 years

and to use Fantastic & Above-Average instead...

Standard & Poors downgrade little batteries from AAA status to AA... 0
Smart Alex 3 years

thus making them slightly bigger batteries...

Republicans Fire Jesus 2
sredni vashta 3 years

"Tolerance and Forgiveness thing a huge misunderstanding"...

Women must produce original receipt to return Implants 0
Drylaw 3 years
Sardine "claustrophobic" 0
nickb 3 years
France "can stand on box" to compensate for reduced credit rating, says Sarkozy 1
Scroat 3 years

More short-arsed xenophobia soon...

Magic carpet launched by Arab Spring 0
nickb 3 years
1 2
button 3 years
Responsible hotel towel use "has solved world climate crisis" say experts. 8
nickb 3 years

It is a familiar message that has paid off, according to a joint conference of climatologists and laundry-scientists held in Philadelphia last week.  "Do not request fresh towels unless it is...

millions wiped off of tesco share prices 2
arthurminnit 3 years

well, I thought it was funny...

Cornwall Goes Decimal. 9
sredni vashta 3 years
Werewolf conjugated to create waswolf, amwolf, and arewolf 13
Smart Alex 3 years
Ratings agency downgraded to Standard and Piss Poor's 0
simplysimon 3 years

A spokesperson for the high profile agency today said,"This whole thing is just a knee-jerk reaction to a scandalous rumour put about by Portugal, Greece and France that we're not up to the job....

Government urges parents to be more violent with children 1
Shandy 3 years

Parents are to be encouraged to smack their objectionable offspring more often and with greater force, the government announced today. In plans to make life a little more bearable for the general...

"Piracy" Student goes to Somalia for work experience 0
apepper 3 years

More follows...

Military Despot Memorabilia sale now on, look out for “Fuhrer Reductions” 0
Ian Searle 3 years