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Disney SatNav allows Americans 'to follow their dreams' 1
dicky37 3 years

[or their hearts, or that rainbow of course]...

Man who fell down aircraft steps suffers 'airline fracture 2
Smart Alex 3 years
Dr Who replaces Tardis with Louis Vuitton handbag 1
Cooltone 3 years Fans are outraged that the Tardis will regenerate into a Louis Vuitton handbag in the next series of Dr Who. It was the handbag ...

Glam Rock comeback as UK set for a return to summer of 1976 0
charlies_hat 3 years

Gary Glitter is set for a shock return to the UK as water authorities have advised that we should prepare ourselves for a return to the summer of 1976. The UK population have been selfishly washing...

‘Romantic’ London Eye becomes world’s first rotating brothel 4
kimllfixit 3 years

Visitors to the popular London Eye ferris wheel were last night appalled at the behaviour of the users, stating that the Valentine’s day spirit had gotten unnecessarily raunchy. The Eye had been...

EU bans kilts for non-Scots at weddings 4
hughesroland 3 years

Any non-Scottish people caught wearing kilts at weddings face at least ten years' hard labour in a Polish prison under a new EU ruling. Sales of kilts as far south as Devon have increased ten-fold...

Kate 'has let herself go a bit' reveal Scouse women 5
3 years

As the Duchess of Cambridge blessed the good people of Liverpool with her presence for a photo and some chips, some of the local harridans have taken the time to pick fault with her outward...

Horse prices remain stable 4
1leonardo 3 years
PM defends inclusion of zebra at NHS overhaul meeting 0
writinginbsl 3 years

lots of empty chairs otherwise more soon...

Ghost Of Dead Mother Even More Annoying Than When She Was Alive 1
SimonJJames 3 years

Eleanor Drysden, 51, of Leeds, Yorkshire is undergoing unwelcome visitations from her recently deceased Mother, Ethel Bowler, who died last month of natural causes. Eleanor was at her side comforting...

Thief cuts bicycle to steal lock 1
Dumbnews 3 years
'Don't reveal my identity' pleads anonymous witness Terry Jenkins (now 19) 8
3 years

The crown prosecution service has revealed that a record pay-out of £600k was made to the family of a child witness, after his identity was mistakenly disclosed to a violent gang. And now there are...

Man has legs lengthened to reduce BMI. More soon. 2
Al OPecia 3 years
Entire family wiped out in toaster crumbs avalanche tragedy. 2
malgor 3 years

The Home Office has issued urgent new guidance warning householders of the dangers of attempting to empty the toaster crumb tray. The warning follows the tragic case of the Watson family from...

Boxers accused of fighting 1
apepper 3 years

Two boxers have been accused of fighting. "This is disgraceful", said a promoter, "they're doing it for nothing."...

EU finds the Campaign for Real Beauty discrimates against beautiful women. 1
Jugglia 3 years

Feb 20th. In a bitter blow for a leading soap manufacture, the high profile campaign for real beauty was found to be discrimatory by the European Court of human rights in the Hague. Speaking...

Hundreds of gays too ashamed to admit to secret footballing double life 6
tommyc90 3 years

Hundreds of homosexuals are leading a secret double life as dim bigotted sportsmen, according to the Poofs Fairies and Queens Association., A detailed report unearths numerous gays who are too...

Japanese football tax accountant commits hari redknap 0
DorsetBoy 3 years
Bobby Brown walks from funeral for playing fucking awful Whitney Houston tunes. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Cameron offers Scotland to Argentina as goodwill gesture 9
button 3 years
Shock as men paid to punch each other almost come to blows 1
ronseal 3 years

The world of paying men to punch each other for our entertainment was rocked last night, after two men who've been trained to punch each other almost came to blows. "I cannot understand where they...

Major detergent spill leads to big bubbles in Little China 0
dicky37 3 years

[More soon]...

New glasses to allow you to see life in 2D 0
hughesroland 3 years
Scientists Abandon Search for Life at Utility Company Call Centres 27
The All New Jeni B 3 years

The SETI institute has today announced that it is abandoning attempts to contact life at call centres run by major Gas and Electricity providers. "It is likely that life once existed there, but after...

Iran to stop selling crude oil to UK & France 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

'from now on you’ll only get witty, urbane and sophisticated oil,’ says spokesman...

Is America getting dummer? 4
Dumbnews 3 years
Is this the humblest man in Britain? asks new sunday tabloid 0
ronseal 3 years
. 0
Qoxiivi 3 years
Welsh Assembly to keep checks on Plaid voters. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Swedish man trapped in car for two months blames central locking. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

'It's amazing no-one in Tescøs car park noticed.'...