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Nazi climate change denier thwarted by job application Diversity form 0
ronseal 04.06.12 10:23am
ronseal
Octogenarian women advised not to silently stare at people

Elderly women are being advised not to fix people with a steely stare while remaining silent. 'We are particularly keen to warn women in their eighties as they are the most likely group to adopt the...

0
roybland 04.06.12 10:09am
roybland
Thousands of Jubilee street parties followed by hundreds of Jubilee punch-ups 0
Nails UK 04.06.12 10:08am
Nails UK
Parkinson's Society welcomes continuing popularity of Shakin' Stevens 0
roybland 04.06.12 9:43am
roybland
"They Saved Thatcher's Fanny" Film Causes Huge Controversy

The new film "They Saved Thatcher's Fanny", despite repeated pleas from the iconic British leader's family and caregivers, has finished shooting. The American production depicts a team of scientific...

0
Textbook 04.06.12 9:30am
Textbook
New Iphone App "Find Cheryle Cole's Arse" Big Hit

Cole apparently quite concerned about new app that gives users directions to her posterior...

0
Textbook 04.06.12 9:22am
Textbook
BBC's ‘Olympic Hyperbole' shortfall fears after Jubilee weekend

Wall to wall coverage of the Queen’s Jubilee Thames Flotilla has run down the BBC’s useable stock of vacuous comments. Much commentary was by News24 staff, trained in the art of high-volume...

6
dvo4fun 04.06.12 8:53am
dvo4fun
Queen opens new floating Chinese restaurant on Thames

Well that's what it looked like to me...

0
Haywood Manley 04.06.12 7:58am
Haywood Manley
Queen's canal boat holiday marred by 1000 rubberneckers.

Her Majesty the Queen has abandoned her planned Jubilee holiday claiming the public just won’t leave her alone. After 60 years on the throne she had asked for the minimum of fuss and for her and...

2
MADJEZ 04.06.12 7:26am
Perks
Boris Johnson tells Queen, Next Years Jubilee celebrations will be even better 0
Scronnyglonkle 04.06.12 6:23am
Scronnyglonkle
Job applicant rejected for lack of tattoos 0
Dumbnews 03.06.12 10:49pm
Dumbnews
South London racist reports "pub choice nightmare" in Union Jack bunting mayhem

Racists up and down the country are wasting valuable drinking time, wandering in and out of multi-racial pubs, confused by the mainstream use of patriotic bunting in Britain's high streets....

2
Mr Target 03.06.12 10:34pm
Yikes
Boris Proposes River Congestion Charge

Lord Mayor of London, Boris Johnson, is to introduce a congestion charge on the River Thames after thousands of boats caused Bank Holiday chaos. Johnson stated that he had to introduce the charge...

1
Alan Hutchinson 03.06.12 10:12pm
The All New Jeni B
Ben Fogle arrested for rowing past Royal barge shouting "Toss-oars!" 0
woodymellor 03.06.12 10:05pm
woodymellor
Topical satirists struggle to find anything in the news this weekend.

Topical satirists up and down the land have been close to tears this weekend, without any obvious targets for their biting wit featuring in the news. "It's just never been this bad before", said a...

0
woodymellor 03.06.12 9:59pm
woodymellor
Guardian concedes "Queen's pregnant" headline should read Queen's Pageant. 0
dominic_mcg 03.06.12 9:16pm
dominic_mcg
Fears as captain of Queen's Jubilee Boat revealed to be Francesco Schettino 0
quango 03.06.12 8:17pm
quango
Horoscopes for June

Aries, An awkward moment at the team brief on the 12th. Your boss asks you to say something that will break the ice and, after a short pause, you blurt out "Fat Penguin". Taurus, On the 4th, you...

11
seymour totti 03.06.12 8:11pm
The All New Jeni B
'1000 boat pile-up' as lead government tug does unexpected u-turn 0
Perks 03.06.12 7:37pm
Perks
UK (plc) to 'outsource' the royal family

The Chancellor of the Exchequer has announced that, in a move to keep costs down, UK (plc) will outsource the Monarchy from April 2013. A family has been chosen in China to take the role from The...

1
Perks 03.06.12 7:28pm
Al OPecia
Royal Family to be "outsourced to India".

I a suprise move George Osborne announced today that the Royal Family will be disbanded and their duties out-sourced to the lowest bidder operating out of Bangalore. There will be a move of all Head...

2
Al OPecia 03.06.12 7:28pm
Al OPecia
"Bad weather didn't dampen street party spirits" agree fucking idiots eveywhere

Despite unceasing rain turning the red, white and blue icing on cakes into a turd-coloured goo, fucking idiots across the country agree that the poor weather did not detract from the enjoyment of the...

2
antharrison 03.06.12 6:06pm
Charles and Camilla to give-up weather forecasting 1
antharrison 03.06.12 6:00pm
nickb
Queen's 70th anniversary entertainment to focus on synchronised swimming 0
antharrison 03.06.12 5:12pm
antharrison
London barge driver "Had that Queen and Prince Phillip in the back of my boat" 0
antharrison 03.06.12 5:10pm
antharrison
Queen asks to be excused Olympics 'as it'll be totally naff you just know it' 0
MADJEZ 03.06.12 5:02pm
MADJEZ
Queen creates "Diamond geezer" honour

More follows...

0
apepper 03.06.12 4:17pm
apepper
Queen invites Duchess of York to join royal pageant on the Marchioness. 0
dominic_mcg 03.06.12 3:12pm
dominic_mcg
Government Denies Climb Down over New Ladder Tax

More to folow...

0
GillsImp 03.06.12 3:00pm
GillsImp
LOCOG insists re-using Jubilee flags at Olympics 'would be act of treason'

LOCOG has warned patriotic members of the public about the dangers of re-using Jubilee flags. Devoid of sponsorship logos and sometimes home-made, Lord Coe insisted the wilful use of a non-Olympic...

5
03.06.12 2:42pm
tedweasel