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National Anthem To Reintroduce Controversial 'Crush Rebellious Scots' Verse 1
Nowherefast 15.10.12 1:04pm
The All New Jeni B
Bill Wyman to be broken up and sent to landfill 0
Nowherefast 15.10.12 1:03pm
Nowherefast
Report slams out-of-town retail centres; 'Seen one concrete jungle, seen a mall'

Neat-O (and heavily influenced by Gerontius' entry)...

0
Midfield Diamond 15.10.12 12:52pm
Midfield Diamond
Jagger's Panini Super models album incomplete due to lack of Moss 0
simonjmr 15.10.12 12:39pm
simonjmr
Jagger bans Kate Moss from Stones 50th Anniversay concerts 0
simonjmr 15.10.12 12:38pm
simonjmr
50th Anniversay of 50th anniversary celebrations of first bombing from a plane

Tomorrow 16th Ocotber 2012, sees the world celebrate the 50th anniversay on the 50th anniversary celebrations commemorating the Bulgarian pilot Radul Minkov and his observer, Prodan Toprakchiev, who...

0
simonjmr 15.10.12 12:30pm
simonjmr
Cameron visits Scottish Tories: last breeding pair sighted in Morningside... 1
Tripod 15.10.12 12:17pm
The All New Jeni B
The Jimmy Savile Charitable Trust to be renamed ‘Wandering Hands’... 0
Tripod 15.10.12 12:13pm
Tripod
Muslim protesters notice arrival of age of mockery 800 years after everyone else

That'll be my name on the next fatwa newsletter then...

0
Nowherefast 15.10.12 10:58am
Nowherefast
TV critic horrified to learn BBC Parliament 'not actually a soap'.

James Hartnett, a 53 year-old TV critic, was recently shocked to learn that BBC Parliament was not intended to be enjoyed as a light-entertainment soap opera, but was instead live and uninterrupted...

0
MarmiteMedicine 15.10.12 10:14am
MarmiteMedicine
Baumgartner: Kev from Halfords denies forgetting to reconnect visor demister 0
Nowherefast 15.10.12 10:08am
Nowherefast
Legal news: ASBO’s to be scrapped.

The Home Office announced today that the Anti-Social Behaviour Order is to be replaced with a new punishment, the ‘not a nice chap, y’know.’, A spokesman said ‘for some time now, oiks and...

0
sigmund 15.10.12 9:50am
sigmund
Baumgartner: my biggest fear was getting parachute and rucksack mixed up 0
custard cream 15.10.12 9:41am
custard cream
Aung San Suu Kyi: "I often dreamt I was being fondled by DLT." 0
Nowherefast 15.10.12 9:37am
Nowherefast
David Bowie sues Felix Baumgartner

Felix Baumgartner has today beed sued by David Bowie for the use of the title - "The man who fell to earth" More soon...

0
simonjmr 15.10.12 9:31am
simonjmr
Felix Baumgartner stars in Skyfall Two 0
Duncan Biscuit 15.10.12 9:20am
Duncan Biscuit
NASA admits its new West Coast service ‘a bit slow’ 0
Duncan Biscuit 15.10.12 9:20am
Duncan Biscuit
Boost for independence campaign as Cameron visits Scotland 0
Duncan Biscuit 15.10.12 9:19am
Duncan Biscuit
Wonga.com-sponsored Newcastle Utd told to 'go out and give it 4,200%' 2
Oxbridge 15.10.12 8:54am
Idiot
Responsibly-sourced drugs to be stamped with high-as-a-kite mark... 0
Tripod 15.10.12 8:42am
Tripod
Pre-cast habitat rejected after panda eats shoots and leaves with broken teeth.

Neat-O (I find this concrete jungle concept almost impenetrable.)...

0
weematt 15.10.12 8:26am
weematt
Leading Fromologist discovers meaning of 'Fromology' on day of retirement

Britain’s leading Fromologist has finally discovered what it was that he was supposed to be doing, just hours before his official retirement. Dr Tristan Moorchamps, 68, has enjoyed the trappings...

1
15.10.12 8:09am
Username
BBC radio 1 employees report Mother Teresa heroin dealing

Several prominent BBC TV and Radio presenters have spoken of witnessing crack and heroin dealing in the 1970’s and 80’s by Mother Teresa of Calcutta. Although she died in 1997, and now cannot...

4
charlies_hat 15.10.12 7:20am
Perks
Foxconn iPhone 5 brawl ends 18% quicker than iPhone 4 brawl. 4
andydog 15.10.12 3:55am
Space Jump Deemed Bad Form Of Transportation 0
Hooch 15.10.12 2:00am
Hooch
Time machine takes fifthteen years to travel twenty years into the future

The world’s first time traveller has embarked on his fifteen year journey to twenty years in the future, it has been announced. Chosen for the mission is US Air Force Pilot Captain Louie...

0
Hooch 15.10.12 1:02am
Hooch
One of the Keith Campbells who cloned Dolly the Sheep dies

One of the five-hundred and seventy-eight thousand-million Keith Campbells whose pioneering research resulted in the cloning of Dolly the Sheep has died. There have been occasional rumours of human...

3
apepper 14.10.12 10:07pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Man must sleep on street after following loft insulation advice.

"Every time they put up the price of gas, the advice the gas company gives is to add 6 inches of insulation to my loft," explains Mr Boon, staggering back from B&Q with eight rolls of yellow...

1
Boutros 14.10.12 10:03pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Keith Lemon ‘no longer outrageous’ according to polls

Keith Lemon, the alter ego of comedian Leigh Francis is no longer outrageous according to recent opinion polls. All of his latest attempts at obscenity and depravity are flat-lining as audiences...

8
Dick Everyman 14.10.12 9:32pm
Dick Everyman
Turkey solves Winter problem

In one fell swoop, Turkey has solved its territorial and heating problems. The Turkish Military are to fill their air space with 10 000ft of thermal insulation material., Air Force General Hakki...

1
Cinders 14.10.12 8:39pm
Cinders