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Prince Charles reminds himself to stop skim-reading BBC News headlines 0
DrTurmoil 28.01.13 11:14pm
UK Borders Agency accused of black hole in paperwork

The UK Border Agency (UKBA) has today admitted that it has been using the Channel Tunnel as a storage facility for immigrants, after complaints from Eurostar. Some 14,000 applicants, growing at a...

Squudge 28.01.13 11:10pm
sponge finger
Korma Chameleon

A Winchester man has complained to no one in particular after being sacked from a local tribute band. Sebastian Poff, a town and planning officer for the local area was dismissed after missing...

topfotogmw 28.01.13 10:57pm
Taking Cue From National Rifle Association, U.S. Airlines to Arm Passengers

In a move that has shocked many, the U.S. Transportation Security Administration announced last week that they will now be abolishing airport security measures, and instead will arm all passengers...

28.01.13 10:51pm
Channel Tunnel Replacement Bus Service Encounters Technical Problems 1
Titus 28.01.13 10:46pm
Irainian space program hopes to have woman in space by 2525 1
Scronnyglonkle 28.01.13 10:42pm
Episodes of Miranda to be shown to Bulgarians to discourage UK migration 3
custard cream 28.01.13 10:36pm
Bona fide tradesman denies being gay 1
Ian Searle 28.01.13 10:29pm
Greengrocer accused of selling snowman body parts

A gruesome discovery in the stock room of a Lancastrian greengrocer has led to an enquiry into his possession of a sackful of snowman noses...

apepper 28.01.13 10:25pm
Man killed by falling bookies shop sign.

Bookies say the odds on that happening are "A million to one"...

Iscariot 28.01.13 10:08pm
Mayan 70's Disco Band's deadly prophecy comes true

(too hot for newsbiscuit?)...

brd888 28.01.13 9:14pm
Toton station to be renamed Nottingham Parkway...

as Parkway is rail-speak for "nowhere near"...

deskpilot3 28.01.13 8:23pm
Brian Cox to present ‘Wonders of my Hair’ in the spring.

Following the success of ‘Wonders of the Universe’ and ‘Wonders of Life’ the BBC has announced that Professor Brian Cox is to front a new 6 part series entitled ‘The Wonders of My Hair’...

TheNewsWalrus 28.01.13 8:21pm
Scientist confirms Ed Miliband is crystal clear

A scientist offered proof today that Labour leader, Ed Miliband, is as clear as he claims and probably even clearer. Professor Sidney Cataract of COPNIL - the Cambridge Political Neuroscience...

28.01.13 8:14pm
Dutch monarch abdicates to devote more time to juggling pint pots. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 28.01.13 7:37pm
Lib Dems successful in sending monkey into cabinet 0
andhrimnir 28.01.13 6:55pm
“Forget what we told you last year”, says Home Secretary. “Britain is shit”...

After polishing the nation’s image over the last few years, during the lead-up to the 2012 Olympics, the Home Office is now trying to rein in the self-praise in the hope of scaring off the hordes...

Tripod 28.01.13 6:31pm
I'll do what's best for the country insists Clegg as he hires private hit-man

To take out Cameron...

Ian Searle 28.01.13 6:20pm
Ian Searle
IKEA on alert after Iranians launch monkey into space. 0
bonjonelson 28.01.13 6:19pm
Prince Charles urges Queen to "go Dutch". More soon. 0
Gaz 28.01.13 6:08pm
North Korea "sends fried monkey into space". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 28.01.13 5:45pm
Al OPecia
Gordon’s Second-hand Monkey Faeces Emporium issues profit warning

With Britain’s high streets in terminal decline, there are fears that another ‘household name’ is facing financial trouble. With 2,684 outlets across some 35 towns, Gordon’s Second-hand...

28.01.13 4:47pm
Paddy Berzinski
Channel Tunnel to be equipped with giant aquarium

Following criticism that there’s nothing for passengers to do during the 35 minute crossing between Folkestone and Calais, Eurotunnel are installing a giant aquarium along each side of the Channel...

Midfield Diamond 28.01.13 4:06pm
Midfield Diamond
Abou Zeid: "I never thought Drynuary would be so hard"

It's been a real busy month for me, I've just been in Algeria in a business trip and can't wait to just kick back amongst my 7 wives and just crack open a cold one. But no, because for the past 28...

quango 28.01.13 3:48pm
Pickled onion banned from driving 0
Psycadelic Squirrel 28.01.13 3:47pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
Scots Bid to Join 'Axis of Evil' instead of United Kingdom is Turned Down ...

by Al Qaeda on grounds of "Unacceptable addiction to violence and the uncompromising fundamentalist fanaticism of the Wee Free Kirk"...

Titus 28.01.13 3:36pm
Flooding risk as Channel Tunnel company promise to 'smash the glass ceiling' 0
One Line Only 28.01.13 3:03pm
One Line Only
Bruce Wayne in tax dodge scandal…

It appears that the “one rule of them and another rule for others” is very much alive as it was revealed by the Gotham Gazette last week. Reporter Vicky Vale said “Year after year, some...

hardev 28.01.13 2:44pm
“Meat eaters can be vegetarians too”, says Veggie Society...

“Eating meat and being vegetarian should not be mutually exclusive”, said Sally Barnes, on behalf of the Vegetarian Society. “Let’s not get hung up on arbitrary distinctions. We want more...

Tripod 28.01.13 1:45pm
Iran sends monkey into space.

MADJEZ 28.01.13 1:39pm