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Cameron vows to defeat "Enemies Of Enterprise" Klingons say they will fight on 8
Ian Searle 3 years
Milliband exempt from census - due to lack of personality 0
wolfie 3 years

Ed google-eyes Milliband, born from experiments to clone Tony Blair with Plankton, has been excused from the census. One official said "Our job is to collect data on everyone in the country, however...

"Facebook adds suicide help system" 1
Iscariot 3 years

I kid you not. Quick before someone at the Beeb spots it and changes it: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/ the headline is item 5 on Most Popular on the RHS...

John Prescott To Read The Shipping Forecast On 'Red Nose Day' 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

.But leaving out 'Scilly Automatic' for the Tories to read, "as it's right up their street", says John...

Rocket Science Downgraded.... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

.Due to 1st year infant school pupil telling teacher that, "It's only a tube with two different fuel tanks, Miss."...

Prince Andrew Hangs Onto Trade Envoy Job..... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

..But still too idle to catch the 6.15am train...

Hague Libyan Cockup.... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

..Due to him wearing his baseball cap at the time...

Swiss Army knife enhanced to include a usb flash drive 7
Dumbnews 3 years
Freed Lockerbie Bomber Develops "Really Bad Hangnail" 0
rikkor 3 years

Hospital bedside round-the-clock death watch. Tripoli doctors also fear the after effects of haggis poisoning...

John Prescott new face of John Lewis "never knowingly understood". More soon. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years
Hague admits undercover diplomat was Prince Andrew. Libyan rebels "infuriated". 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years

"we had hoped they'd have kept him for a bit longer". More soon...

Prince Andrew attends party hosted by self-professed 'queen of England' 1
Skylarking 3 years
"a gigantic error of judgment" 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

Buy one get one free at the House of Windsor...

Berlusconi undergoes shaddupayouface surgery. 0
riesler 3 years

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-12668160...

Red Admiral succumbs as they run out of butterfly stitches in the lepidopterist 0
3 years
2011 Census forms sent out 0
captain747480 3 years

Only 24997989 to go...

Caster Semenya denies she is a sugar daddy 5
3 years
Pressure on Andrew to quit 'scapegoat' role 1
Zadok the second 3 years

Pressure is mounting on Prince Andrew to resign his traditional post of 'scapegoat for the royal family' amid claims he is "too good at his job". A spokesperson for Buckingham Palace explained that...

MacDonalds to fit double doors 0
OldThingy 3 years

for slightly wider trolleys...

‘Arsey bitch’ now protected under discrimination laws 4
Zadok the second 3 years

Adding 'being an arsey bitch' to existing definitions of ‘protected characteristics’, as defined by the Equalities Act, could throw workplaces into turmoil, a leaked government email has revealed...

Desdemona seeks transfer after string of bad results 0
Des and Stan 3 years

Star player Desdemona confirmed rumours today that she is seeking a transfer from Moor of Venice, a team currently struggling after a string of poor results going back over 400 years. ‘I...

Fan in Row Z asked to referee match... 0
Doylem 3 years

Thanks to his astute reading of the game, from his seat high up in the stands at Old Trafford, Frank Finnigan, 26, a Manchester United fan of many years standing, has been asked to officiate at his...

Prof. Brian Cox Reported Missing: presumed lost in own thought 4
nilbymouse 3 years
Man with photographic memory gets it jammed on his 10 year old birthday 0
3 years

when he walked in on his two gay dads after an unsatisfactory sex session...

Electoral reform suggests elections and Census to merge - 1st Concensus in 2021 0
simonjmr 3 years
Census forms sent by post to have ‘sorry, I was not at home when you called’ box 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Man United unsuccessfuly launches UK’s largest flood defence exercise at Anfield 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Hopes fade for a BBC No Fry zone 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
National lottery terminals to be used as polling booths 2
simonjmr 3 years
Huge Lancashire road convoy as Oddbins delivers to Freddie Flintoff’s house 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years