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Windsor woman claims she was groped by 'weird blonde haired Yorkshireman'

A well-known Windsor woman claims she was groped by a man resembling Jimmy Savile - although at the time of the incident she was brandishing a large ornamental sword. Now aged 86, the woman has a...

roybland 15.10.12 7:08pm
Typo results in Nobel Peace Prize going to EU not UAE

Embarrassed Nobel Peace Prize officials have admitted that the 2012 Award was inadvertently given to the EU (European Union) instead of the UEA (United Arab Emirates) due to a secretarial error. The...

Dick Everyman 15.10.12 7:04pm
Dick Everyman
Austrian Skydiver becomes first passenger to test Ryanair "Speedy-De-Boarding"

"Its great" said an exhausted Felix Baumgartener,, "I saved £5 on my fees, and another £1 because I didn't use the toilet" Baumgartener was speaking as he boarded his shuttle bus into the city...

moanygit 15.10.12 6:32pm
Lance Armstrong finds drug which fake lie detector results

Lance Armstrong has said that he intends to use lie-detector results prove to the world that he did not systematically dope during the record-breaking seven Tour de France victories. Armstrong has...

antharrison 15.10.12 6:23pm
Typo sees USDA strip Louis Armstrong of all cycling medals. 0
sigmund 15.10.12 6:00pm
MP slams calculator cutbacks at DfT as "accident waiting to happen"

The chairwoman of the Commons Transport Select Committee has described the calculator cutbacks that led to the West Coast franchise fiasco as "short term thinking at it's worst," and "an accident...

landofdopeandtories 15.10.12 5:56pm
Longleat Monkeys win concrete jungle construction bid 0
Squudge 15.10.12 5:38pm
Jubilant Baumgartner to attempt world’s longest muff-dive

After his record breaking freefall dive, adrenaline-junkie Felix Baumgartner will attempt to beat the current world record for the longest oral sex attempt on a partially-aroused human female. The...

Gary Stanton 15.10.12 5:15pm
Gary Stanton
ignore 0
Squudge 15.10.12 5:07pm
Banham wins contract to deliver BBC security brassiere

BBC Chairman, Lord Patten, has announced that Banham Alarms has been commissioned to develop a high-security brassiere for vulnerable newsreaders and presenters. Responding to revelations of a fifty...

15.10.12 4:39pm
Toddler in historic free fall from kitchen chair

Scientists and stunt fans held their breath as 3 year old Darryl Parkin completed a historic descent from a kitchen chair yesterday, in the front garden of his home in Northampton. "It was a...

nickb 15.10.12 4:38pm
Armstrong doping scandal; new investigation reveals he used a motorised tandem

more soon....

custard cream 15.10.12 4:38pm
custard cream
Disability charity, Scope, to merge with Savile charities: now called ‘Grope’... 0
Tripod 15.10.12 4:16pm
Scientists Baffled by Gillard's Masculine Pre-Echo

57 scientists at the University of Sydney have signed a petition for Julia Gillard, the Australian Prime Minister, to undergo a medical examination at their research centre to ascertain the source of...

MyWikiKeepsLeaking 15.10.12 3:42pm
24 hrs on, Roswell residents hear skyward scream of "Shhhhiiiiiittttttt...... " 1
charlies_hat 15.10.12 3:09pm
Nick Clegg's poll rating breaks freefall record. 0
JETFAB 15.10.12 2:31pm
Posh Berkshire man to wear Clan Cameron tartan to win over Scottish voters 0
simonjmr 15.10.12 2:24pm
Latest global warming scare 'just rubbish' insists penguin at Bermuda beach bar 0
Dick Everyman 15.10.12 2:13pm
Dick Everyman
Weymouth & Portland Tourism Campaign Launches With Concrete Jingle 0
Nowherefast 15.10.12 2:01pm
Territorial Army to be renamed "The Army" 4
Nails UK 15.10.12 1:41pm
Felix Baumgartner becomes first man to shit himself at Mach 1

more later...

virtuallywill 15.10.12 1:37pm
Hunters foiled by Badger's cunning Everton Mint disguise 0
Nowherefast 15.10.12 1:25pm
Record breaking Baumgartner thrown out of HMV 0
Psycadelic Squirrel 15.10.12 1:25pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
Alex Salmond gives nursery children seat on school's board of governors

After the decision to allow 16 and 17 years olds to vote in the referendum for independence, Alex Salmond has also decided to give nursery school pupils a seat on the board of governors. This will...

Perks 15.10.12 1:24pm
Sarah Palin promises to bring Iran to heel with scarf embargo

Sarah Palin has stepped back into the presidential race with a shock announcement that she intends to put herself forward as Secretary of State should the Republicans win back the presidency. She...

gregle 15.10.12 1:08pm
National Anthem To Reintroduce Controversial 'Crush Rebellious Scots' Verse 1
Nowherefast 15.10.12 1:04pm
The All New Jeni B
Bill Wyman to be broken up and sent to landfill 0
Nowherefast 15.10.12 1:03pm
Report slams out-of-town retail centres; 'Seen one concrete jungle, seen a mall'

Neat-O (and heavily influenced by Gerontius' entry)...

Midfield Diamond 15.10.12 12:52pm
Midfield Diamond
Jagger's Panini Super models album incomplete due to lack of Moss 0
simonjmr 15.10.12 12:39pm
Jagger bans Kate Moss from Stones 50th Anniversay concerts 0
simonjmr 15.10.12 12:38pm