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'Bomp"' man in ramalama ding dong surprise 1
nickb 3 years

The man who admitted putting the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bomp bomp has been named. He is Mr Jeremy Jacobs, originally from London. He also admitted he put the bop in the bop shoo bop shoo bop ...

Jockeys complain about BHA's use of the probe. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Highways Agency aiming for 90% of motorways to be undergoing roadworks by 2013 6
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

A spokesman for the Highways Agency has today confirmed that their current strategy is to have cones, a 50mph speed limit, and average speed cameras on 90% of the UK’s motorways by mid-2013....

Tracey Emin to become Detritus Professor of Drawing at RA 3
simonjmr 3 years
One-horse open sleigh rides 'seriously overrated' 0
Oxbridge 3 years
Nick Clegg feels honoured as Time unveils Person of the Year: The Protester 0
simonjmr 3 years
Queen's Diamond Jubilee Celebrations reduced to presentation of £50 book token. 1
seymour totti 3 years
Kelly Rowland "emotionally scarred" after eating Parmo didn't get more votes 0
simonjmr 3 years
Archaeologists dismiss Shroud of Tourettes as 'another bloody hoax' 10
Username 3 years
Mary Portas revealled as the original inventor of the chemical toilet. 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Queen to visit space as part of Diamond Jubilee tour 0
Tourmaline 3 years

As details of the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee celebrations continue to unfold, Buckingham Palace today confirmed that the Queen was undertaking spaceflight training to enable her to undertake a...

Co-op undertakers in takeover bid refuse to undertake transfer of undertakings 1
Sinnick 3 years
Man U buy Everest double glazing in transfer window mix-up 2
apepper 3 years

more to follow...

CERN disappointed as Godot particle doesn't turn up 0
Sinnick 3 years
Hard pressed Royals to holiday abroad more often next year 0
medici2471 3 years

- more soon...

Drunken advance on own mother blamed on iPhone autocorrect 5
Pabst Blue Ribbon 3 years

Local teenager Michael Hedges became the latest matriphiliac able to back out of an Oedipal sexual advance toward his own mother by blaming the autocorrect function on his iPhone. "I withdrew the...

malgor 3 years
Dawkins boson found by CERN known as the 'probably no God' particle 2
Username 3 years
Attenborough quits after HD footage reveals Steiff button in polar bear's ear 6
3 years
Scientists capture first glimpse of elusive Clegg boson 13
Ludicity 3 years

Scientists believe they may have recorded their first sighting of the elusive sub-political particle, the Clegg boson, otherwise known as The Sod Particle. The Clegg’s existence has been...

Google Street View controversy following publication of gypsy destruction 0
PReady 3 years

Many users of popular online stalking facility Google Street View have shown horror at the release of new digital images of the devastation caused by the participants of the TV documentary ‘Big Fat...

Mary Portas launches latest plan to get people back in High Streets, more riots! 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Economy Statistic Increases/Decreases more than expected 0
Smaug 3 years

There were fresh fears of a double-dip recession today as the Bank of England revealed an alarming new statistic on the UK economy. In response, the governor of the Bank of England, Mervyn King,...

Frozen Planet Penguins Merely "Happy Feet Rejects" 5
PReady 3 years

The BBC were in the firing line again today after investigative reporters found that they had used actors in a recent production of Frozen Planet. Eight million viewers had been led to believe the...

Derren Brown to perform normal magic tricks in "Touch of the Bald" C4 show 0
Iamthestig 3 years

Not satisfied with hypnosis that drives people to Maim, steel and predict the future, Derren Brown is set to unleash his most controversial televisual extravaganza in time for 2012. In his new...

Pimps bemoan students’ lack of sex skills 0
ianslat 3 years

Despite figures today showing that record numbers of students are finding work in the sex industry, leading figures within the industry have joined forces today to call for improvements in the...

Frankie Boyle and Ricky Gervais found at end of punch-line. 1
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

Kick-queue already forming...

Peter Jones and Duncan Bannatyne win right to perform as ‘PJ and Duncan’ 7
dicky37 3 years

After a long legal battle two of the entrepreneurs from Dragons’ Den have acquired the exclusive rights to perform under the moniker made famous by Ant and Dec in the 90s. The ruling will see the...

UK inflation falls to only 3 times the average salary increase 5
virtuallywill 3 years

and no more later...

Student awarded honarary BJ(Hons) by punters 0
charlies_hat 3 years