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Peter Pan to spearhead Hollywood war on piracy 2
lucas 3 years

The war on piracy took another dramatic turn today after the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) announced that Peter Pan will be spearheading their latest anti-piracy campaign. Pan is seen...

Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson Marionette Zombie Dance at Brits 'Too Soon' 2
SimonJJames 3 years

A macabre and chilling tribute to the King and Queen of pop at tonight's Brits was deemed as 'too soon' by shocked audience members. A bizarre marionette system was set up over the lifeless zombie...

Plate smashing outlawed in Greece, cup saucer quota now in place 2
SimonJJames 3 years

Greek restaurant owners were shocked into silence yesterday when plate smashing was outlawed due to new austerity measures. In a further shock, already stunned restaurateurs were told that they could...

Dame Vera Lynn receives nomination for best female singer at The Blitz awards 1
Smart Alex 3 years
Cameron's stylists 'stole my image' claims face drawn onto balloon 2
dicky37 3 years

[More soon]...

Haye bailed 6
Perks 3 years
Sound effects business booming 9
Haywood Manley 3 years
Encouraging signs for economy as cost of lemons and batter go up 400% in a day. 3
MADJEZ 3 years
Scorsese facial hair documentary deemed too eyebrow for US audiences 1
Haywood Manley 3 years
Colombian director to film "Charlie And The Charlie Factory" 17
Haywood Manley 3 years

Relatives of the late, much-loved author Roald Dahl have expressed their shock and distaste at news that Colombian film director Timoteo Burtonez is to film his own "re-imagining" of the children's...

IAEA to become EIEIO following sponsorship from McDonalds 0
Skylarking 3 years
Britain's binge drinking babies 7
ianrbland 3 years

"Once he starts on a bottle he just doesn't stop" said one mother when interviewed about this latest news issue. Jackie Shah explained further. "As soon as Nicky sees the bottle he gets very...

Brits scoop top awards at Brits Awards shock 0
Dickens or Shakespeare 3 years
Pantomime fairy brings the house down 3
Major Clanger 3 years

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have tried to fly a 22-stone Fairy Godmother in on a wire," admitted the director of Hunstanton Amateur Musical Society (HAMS) after emergency services were called to...

Sun On Sunday reporter caught phoning taps 1
RJWinter 3 years

News has just been leaked that SOS reporter Charlie Johnson has been phoning taps all over England in the work up to the first edition of the Sun on Sunday. Sarah Lancashire's tap was phoned three...

North London school admits 'altitude gerrymandering' to justify 4x4 school-runs 10
3 years

Jealous environmentalists have launched a scathing attack on a new North London school, after it was built precariously on the summit of an imported Welsh foot-hill. The snow-capped centre of...

Australian scientists make enormous strides in giant trouser research 5
Haywood Manley 3 years
Scientific breakthrough turns out to be animated movie sequel 1
lucas 3 years

Scientists at The Institute of Cell Biophysics were left red-faced today after their successful resuscitation of a 30,000 year old fruit plant turned out to be the latest instalment of animated...

Puffins: Warning, may contain fish. 7
beau-jolly 3 years
ITV to interrupt next England game with rest of Adele's Brit Awards speech 0
exigo 3 years
Amoeba Agency splits into UK Border Agency 0
thackaray 3 years
Image of UK pop music in crisis as ginger bloke and fat girl sweep Brit Awards 4
charlies_hat 3 years
'Bitter' dispute sees Columbia threaten to turn off 'Espresso Pipeline' 6
Perks 3 years

The Colombian government has caused the world to shake in a way that resembles the withdrawal symptoms of a caffeine addict after announcing it is considering turning off the espresso pipeline to the...

Shares slip in Greece 1
ianrbland 3 years
UK Border Agency split in two; IN and OUT 2
charlies_hat 3 years
One in five Greek newborns to be given to Germany 0
hughesroland 3 years
Large wooden horse left outside the European Central Bank HQ 0
Gourd Almighty 3 years
Madonna wins five awards at the Grannies 1
bonjonelson 3 years
Strauss-Kahn sex-ring arrest, didn't reallise Prince Albert was illegal. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

More painful headlines soon...

Sunderland Supporters Club sponsor St James's Park 1
grottymonty 3 years

There are mixed emotions in Newcastle tonight as it emerged that the Sunderland supporters club has agreed a seven figure sponsorship deal to rename St James's Park for the next 5 years. All funds...