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Nigel Farage grows toothbrush moustache 0
Scroat 03.05.13 9:36am
Scroat
In Business Profile: Joe Dixon of Spondoolica Group (new and improved reposting)

Joe Dixon is CEO of Spondoolica Group, whose mission statement reveals that they “seek to empower the people of Britain, boost consumer confidence and stimulate the sustained customer-led economic...

3
Sir Lupus 03.05.13 9:34am
Midfield Diamond
Operation Yewtree "A complex police conspiracy to end repeats" claim UK GOLD

Purveyors of recycled, mawkish, shit balls UK GOLD has admitted that operation Yewtree has left its schedule more barren than usual. An unnamed bottom TV exec admitted that at the current rate of...

0
theinvisiblecitychannels 03.05.13 8:55am
theinvisiblecitychannels
Emeritus Prime Minister Returns

Former Prime Minister Tony Blair has returned to Westminster on the 16th anniversary of his elevation to the Premiership. Nearly 6 years after being the first Premier to abdicate at a time of his own...

1
Lol Blackhall 03.05.13 8:52am
reforse
Elections latest "Tories done up like a UKIPper". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 03.05.13 6:30am
Al OPecia
Shock as all postal votes go to a black and white cat

Showing a swing to the Cat-Nip Party. A spokesperson, Pat, says "The voters in Greendale can look forward to an increase in spending on scratching boards, clockwork mice, and balls with bells in...

0
Ian Searle 03.05.13 5:31am
Ian Searle
Economy Latest - Borrowers face 'Wake-up call', but Wombles set to clean up 0
Ian Searle 03.05.13 5:27am
Ian Searle
Council election results: UKIP win more bin collection rounds than ever before

more by the minute...

0
Postal Voter 03.05.13 4:46am
Postal Voter
New study to investigate why sex offenders always bag the best jobs at the Beeb 0
ronseal 02.05.13 11:13pm
ronseal
The Europa League is super important.

After Chelsea defeated Basel in the semi-final of the Europa League, it was announced that the much maligned competition is now considered the greatest tournament on earth, now that an English team...

0
Hooch 02.05.13 10:05pm
Hooch
Alleged sexual assault on rememberance Sunday 'poppycock' claims veteran 0
topfotogmw 02.05.13 9:56pm
topfotogmw
Erectile Dysfunction adverts: "just a load of old floppycock" claims expert 0
simonjmr 02.05.13 9:50pm
simonjmr
Cox: Fox/Rocks Box Shocks Jocks

Fans at a recent D:Ream reunion gig in Fife Scotland were left bewildered by the on-stage, antics of sibilant science-nerd stud-muffin, Professor Brian Cox .The baby-faced brainbox interrupted one...

0
Nimrod 02.05.13 9:08pm
Nimrod
Model aircraft enthusiast discovers the only way is Airfix 1
Smart Alex 02.05.13 9:05pm
AReader
Stuart Hall puts his hands up. More soon. 2
Al OPecia 02.05.13 8:32pm
reforse
ITV Commission Ben Elton to Write Big Screen Version of 'Only When I Laugh' 0
SJM 02.05.13 8:07pm
SJM
Death toll in Somalia increases as Spice Girls’ Musical closes

Violence has broken out again among clan-based warlords in Somalia, as news spread that the musical “Viva Forever!” was to close in June. Twenty years of civil war, had been halted while the...

0
Wrenfoe 02.05.13 8:06pm
Wrenfoe
Pope announces "this town isn't big enough for the both of us" 0
Adam Lewis 02.05.13 7:38pm
Adam Lewis
People who forget passwords 'not suffering from Alzheimer's' say doctors

People who forget their computer and mobile phone passwords may not be suffering from the early stages of Alzheimer's according to doctors. 'It may just be a sign that someone forgot to write it...

0
roybland 02.05.13 7:33pm
roybland
Overzealous police arrest Street star following cockroach complaint 1
medici2471 02.05.13 5:56pm
Vanburger
TV presenter misunderstood the phrase "Jeux sans frontieres", says his defence. 1
dominic_mcg 02.05.13 5:39pm
Wrenfoe
One half of rap duo dies. His former partner is said to be Kross. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 02.05.13 5:38pm
Wrenfoe
Unnamed celebrity questioned over historical self-abuse allegations

Police in Greater Manchester are questioning a 93 year old man in relation to an alleged series of self-abuse incidents which took place in the 1940’s. It is understood that the man was arrested...

9
Dick Everyman 02.05.13 5:17pm
Dick Everyman
"It takes a thief to catch a thief" boasts Yewtree Officer

(more later)...

0
Wrenfoe 02.05.13 5:15pm
Wrenfoe
BBC to give equal opportunities to bullies

The BBC announced today that it is introducing a new policy concerning bullying. 'We have looked carefully at our policy,' said a spokesman, 'and we realised that our current bullying policy...

0
John Wiltshire 02.05.13 2:33pm
John Wiltshire
Stuart another in the haul, will play ball after all

As a rule the press can have a ball with nothing at all, but on Stuart Hall to add to the haul, another story another fall. With his back against the wall, 'No need to stool,' say's Stuart Hall, 'I...

0
Vanburger 02.05.13 2:18pm
Vanburger
Amanda Knox wins plaudits in new Star Trek movie

Sci-fi blockbuster Star Trek “Into Darkness” has received beaming reviews from the world press, not least for mysterious villainess played by Amanda Knox. Ms Knox gives a stand-out performance...

4
Wrenfoe 02.05.13 2:17pm
Wrenfoe
Signed edition of sex offenders register expected to raise fortune at auction 3
sredni vashta 02.05.13 1:59pm
Oxbridge
Cat claims "just cleaning my paw" and not a NAZI salute 0
simonjmr 02.05.13 1:50pm
simonjmr
Stuart Hall to host new series of It's A Nonce Out

Far too many more soon...

0
The Nage 02.05.13 1:17pm
The Nage