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Panic in US jail canteen after Richard Reed orders choux bun 0
Underconstruction 04.04.12 7:52am
Ex PM Gordon Brown sells at Dundee Car Boot Sale for £1.50

Former Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, was sold at a Dundee Car Boot Sale on Sunday for a knock down price of £1.50. Vendors Eric and Maureen Anderson who were manning their stall at the Errol...

Stan 09.04.12 9:09am
Tapping up suspicions as "Rooney secures Primary hat-trick" 0
Oh Danny Boy 04.04.12 7:17am
Oh Danny Boy
Cameron to issue Mauday money to queuing motorists 0
Scronnyglonkle 04.04.12 7:03am
Historical significance of 'Last Supper' downgraded as Arch-Bishop declares that

breakfast is the most important meal of the day...

Underconstruction 04.04.12 6:34am
'Copycat' fan blames Coronation Street for his dull argumentative lifestyle

A Cheshire man obsessed with ITV's Coronation Street is blaming the long-running soap for his 'meaningless and confrontational existence'., The man who cannot be identified for legal reasons claims...

Underconstruction 19.04.12 6:09am
Mountain rescuers bemoan 'Costa climbing' generation

A 19 year old media studies graduate caused a full scale mountain-rescue search after texting a friend to inform her that he had 'got into trouble on Ben Nevis'., The drama unfolded after 19 year...

Underconstruction 04.04.12 3:18am
London Mayor admits that use of expletives in lift was wrong on every level 6
Underconstruction 04.04.12 8:24pm
Bond pulled from Olympic promo in “license to kill” expiry blunder

Red-faced London 2012 officials have withdrawn James Bond from an Olympic promo at Buckingham Palace after revelations that his “license to kill” expired in 1995, meaning he has technically...

Yikes 04.04.12 10:39pm
Screwfix adds sex aids to small tools catalogue. 1
weematt 03.04.12 10:07pm
Met Police Chief: "I Won't Stand For Racism"

"My policy has always been to sit quietly by."...

Textbook 04.04.12 10:12am
Dullest possible indie band name located by scientists

The excitable ranks of guitar based indie rock are abuzz, following confirmation that the dullest possible band name for the genre has been located and copyrighted by researchers at Leeds University....

Skylarking 05.04.12 10:34am
Buttocks "as unique as fingerprints" claims scientist

A biometric researcher at the University of East Wessex has declared that the shape, size and structure of human buttocks can be as unique to an individual as their fingerprints or retina patterns....

FlashArry 04.04.12 8:30am
Dutch boy sticks finger up Christine Lagarde's arse to save Euro 1
button 04.04.12 2:02pm
‘Dear George’; newly elected MP for Bradford West helps with readers’ problems

George Galloway was sensationally voted in as MP for Bradford West last week, in an important victory for rampant opportunism. Now the Respect MP is here to empathise with your specific problems,...

09.04.12 8:03pm
Brian Paddick denies exploiting the "Round the Horne" vote 3
nickb 04.04.12 9:53am
US campus gun stores close for an hour "as mark of respect" 2
nickb 03.04.12 8:33pm
Split jury decides Eurovision Thong Contest. 0
weematt 03.04.12 7:49pm
Lib Dem pasties to be zero-rated for VAT "as they are served lukewarm, tops" 0
JohnA 03.04.12 7:30pm
Hot Cross Buns

The Easter Bunny was aghast that VAT had been levied on Hot Cross Buns. A debate ensued with the Mad Hatter, March Hare and Dormouse about when was a Hot Cross Bun Hot and when was a Hot Cross Bun...

Otis B Driftwood 03.04.12 7:38pm
PM urges public to fly early to Easter ski holidays as airport strike threatens.

David Cameron today urged the public to panic buy air tickets for their Easter getaway in case of a threatened airport strike. He said 'Whether you are skiing in Courcheval or taking in the sun in...

MADJEZ 03.04.12 7:24pm
Police investigating murders at Shanklin domino competition draw double-blank

Yes, yes I know...

JohnA 03.04.12 7:16pm
Sacked baggage handler reinstated after case is dropped. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 03.04.12 8:35pm
New web startup tackles simplifying something nobody does 0
Dumbnews 03.04.12 6:57pm
BP Offers Royal Air Force 'Significant' Sponsorship Deal

BP has offered the Royal Air force a 'significant' sponsorship deal if NATO establishes a no fly zone over Syria. The deal would include huge financial backing for the struggling department of Her...

Ethan Harrison 03.04.12 6:52pm
Ethan Harrison
Mating punctuality problem as Edinburgh Zoo panda eats and leaves 4
charlies_hat 05.04.12 11:17am
James Murdoch Announces He Is To Step Down From Next Two NewsCorp Positions

James Murdoch announced that he would be standing down from the chairmanship of BSkyB and also took the oppurtunity to announce he would also be standing down from whichever the next two positions he...

thisisall1word 05.04.12 3:45pm
Storm clouds preparing for "massive ironic downpour" on hosepipe ban day

Skies above the UK have been turning gradually darker today with meteorologists warning of an impending deluge - most likely timed to coincide with the start of the hosepipe ban this Thursday....

grumblechops 03.04.12 4:54pm
Spiderman berated for spending too much time on the web 0
Dumbnews 03.04.12 4:40pm
Chemist in London Takes Tube to Work

He said he was fed up with taking work home...

GillsImp 03.04.12 5:18pm