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Nissan Infiniti voted best car to crash in 2011 by Russian drunks 0
simonjmr 3 years
Apes with predictive text still not written any great works of literature. 0
simonjmr 3 years

Scientists, linguists and anthropologists are still confounded that having given the Great Ape tribes of Liverpool, Leeds, Newport and Birmingham predictive text not one solitary masterpiece of...

Critics dismayed after Phantom of the Opera decides girl is not worth the hassle 1
Gary Stanton 3 years

Despite being tipped for next month’s prodigious Olivier Award, Andrew Lloyd Webber’s latest interpretation of the Phantom of the Opera, ‘Love Never Dies’, starring Ramin Karimloo as The...

Scab started from scratch. 0
Zadok the second 3 years
The Insular Society announces major internal review. 0
simonjmr 3 years

More introspection soon...

2,600,985 News Of The World readers to be arrested. 0
Tammy Flugh 3 years

"if it's illegal to hack phones, it must be illegal to read material harvested from hacked phones", a spokesman for the Metropolitan Police said this morning., He admitted it would be a major...

New smartphone for ultra-orthodox Jews: the i For an i phone 0
Skylarking 3 years
Scotland Yard confirms 'money changed hands' in phone hacking scandal. 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

The Met POlice have confirmed that money did change hands in a number of phone hacking cases., 'Our investigations have produced conclusive proof that in several cases money was involved in the...

Council leaders, deputy leaders, assistant leaders and co-leaders criticise cuts 3
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Wilshere impresses Capello on his debut - 'he make-a the nice-a cup of tea.' 1
John Wiltshire 3 years

England boss Fabio Capello declared himself pleased with Jack Wilshere's debut performance., 'He did-a all I ask,' said Capello. 'I ask-a for tea, he make-a tea. I ask-a milk, he put-a milk. I ask-a...

U.S. shot Politician Gifffords speaks again ,asks for soldiers of toast 0
3 years

to block this draft she is feeling...

Apple introduce new app for Catholic girls... 1
be reasonable 3 years

iCan't, iWon't, o.k. iWill...

Apple to introduce phone for pessimists... the 'I-Cant' 5
AndyOverhead 3 years

In a bid to aid those whose glass is permanently half empty, Apple will next month launch the new 'I-Cant', a gadget designed to assist the self-defeatist., "Each new technology that comes out is...

Munchausen to launch new Champagne 2
beau-jolly 3 years
Workers at Hillside farm who were found to be ill treating birds 4
3 years

are to have their pay ducked...

Wizard distances himself from Government's banking plans 3
OllieP 3 years

Merlin the wizard has moved to dissociate himself fully from the bank deal thrashed out yesterday by the coalition. In no way does the enchanter wish to be linked to the Operation named after him,...

Predictive text an apse claims survey 1
simonjmr 3 years
Students' anger at Nick Clegg - 'Don't confuse us with facts!' 2
John Wiltshire 3 years

Students who met Nick Clegg yesterday to shout at him about student fees complained that he was confusing them with facts., 'Does he think he's a doggone lecturer or summat?' demanded the leader of...

Rescued stalled motorist unable to reciprocate with Beckham’s career 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
News of the World invites John Prescott outside to discuss hacking claims 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Stalled motorist helped by Beckham denies he was pushed from the rear 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Lord Prescott in latest hacking probe,it is believed that 3 Killergrams 4
3 years

of Cumberland sausage and other assorted foodstuffs met a grisly end this morning. Relatives were just glad it was over quickly...

Study finds watching sports more fun than playing them 0
Dumbnews 3 years
New netiquette guidelines suggest ending all statements with IMO. 0
Dumbnews 3 years
As Abu Hamzas' PA hangs herself on one of his hooks, his botty becomes a no go 0
3 years

area and is taken off the no flies list...

Middle class housewive hocks amorous tales of her 25 stone Romany lover who 3
3 years

clears her garden of Ragwort.One feels one ought to have a catchy title...

Homosexuals complain about closure of Manchester's public toilets 3
John Wiltshire 3 years

'Now where can we go cottaging?' said a spokesman. 'We may have to use cottages.'...

World's oldest man still confident he will find "the one" 1
Dumbnews 3 years
Catholic fans call for head of manager; 'We wanna be a Big five religion' 5
StoopyDeGunt 3 years

After a consistently bad set of results, Catholic fans seem to have lost faith in their manager and are calling for his head. 'The Pope was alright for getting us out of the lower divisions of...

Banks sign lending deal. Unusual conditions apply. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years