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Unions: "We've been planning biggest strike since 1926 since 1926" 0
FraserWords 3 years

More strikes soon...

Chinese village 'overjoyed' as Xiang, 6, becomes country's youngest apprentice 7
3 years

The village of Sun Yap downed tools for 15 minutes today to celebrate Xiang, a 6 year-old child prodigy who has become the country's youngest apprentice. Xiang will take up full-time employment at...

God admits 2011 weather has been "elaborate practical joke" 0
FraserWords 3 years

God today admitted what many suspected: this year’s weather has been an elaborate practical joke., Between barely suppressed fits of giggles, the Almighty revealed that the beautiful Spring...

Taliban to be offered Greece in peace deal. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Germans retreat over Greece. 0
be reasonable 3 years

"It's about bloody time" says 92-year old partisan Comrade Papagianakis, from his cave near Athens...

Virgin warns virus hit customers 0
captain747480 3 years

Pope hails Immaculate Infection...

US claims victory in Vietnam war after inquiry by Duckworth and Lewis. More soon 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Terry Pratchett to film sequel in Swiss alps 0
4ty2 3 years

To provide guidelines for making FaceBook suicide a painless affair. FaceBook users must have the right to live which is best preserved by committing face book suicide to get back to the living....

Advertisement Feature 12
Des and Stan 3 years

Don’t know what Father’s Day gift to buy for the man who has everything? Show him how much you value him with the Innovations Barrel of Oil. Delivered to your door in its own attractive wooden...

'Worst' primary schools to become zoos 24
3 years

The 25 worst-performing primary schools are to be redesignated as zoos, according to Michael Gove, the Education Secretary. The schools will be used to both protect endangered feral children, and to...

Connotations Catalogue: the gifts that tell people what you really think of them - 2 32
3 years

Can't find the ideal present for less well thought-of members of your extended family? Want to imply how much you dislike a colleague, without actually telling them to their face? Well look no...

BBC to hire 5 year old to make apology to Primark 0
bonjonelson 3 years
L85 rifle deemed "unsafe" by health and safety 9
arnied 3 years

The L85 assault rifle has been deemed "unsafe" by health and safety experts at the ministry of defence. An insider was quoted as saying "Someone could get killed with one of these things". Front...

Amstrad unveils Father's Day BoschPS3FootballStatusQuoStella hybrid appliance 0
antharrison 3 years

Lord Alan Sugar has denied that his Amstrad empire has resorted to the lowest depths of male stimuli in launching his Father's Day special gift of the BoschPS3FootballStatusQuoStella hybrid appliance...

Network Rail 'disappointed' at Bob Crow's absence from railway suicides 0
roybland 3 years

Bob Crow, leader of the RMT union, is not one of the 207 railway suicides listed in this year's report by the Rail Safety and Standards Board - and Network Rail has expressed 'disappointment' at his...

New Thugweiser beer makes you feel both intelligent and handy with your fists 1
ronseal 3 years

Thugweiser, the new brand of beer aimed at men who want to be hard and fair, was launched in Soho yesterday. The glittering galaxy of stars in attendance ranged from low brow knuckle dragging ex...

Housewives love Porche's new expensive fridge: "a bit of a fanny fridge magnet" 1
thackaray 3 years
New complementary kitchen cleaner kills 0.01% of bacteria 4
button 3 years
Webber's 'Love never dies' dies. 0
Mr Payne 3 years
People who work for less than minimum wage have learning difficulties says Tory 0
roybland 3 years
New documentary shows party leaders taking their members on coach outings 1
John Wiltshire 3 years

A new fly-on-the-wall documentary shows what happened when the leaders of the 3 main parties took their members on coach outings to the seaside recently. Here are extracts from it., Conservative...

Gove launches 'Primark Academies' initiative 0
roybland 3 years

Education Secretary Michael Gove is to transform failing schools into 'Primark Academies'.,  , Mr Gove told a School Leadership conference in Birmingham that if Britain was to 'compete with China...

Kindle ('slightly foxed') fetches record price 1
roybland 3 years

A first edition Amazon Kindle e-reader ('slightly foxed') has been sold for an undisclosed record price at Sotherby's.,  , 'A first edition Kindle would not normally attract a great deal of...

Greek urns down in value 0
Dick Everyman 3 years
BBC apologises for Primark apology 1
John Wiltshire 3 years

The BBC has issued an apology for its apology to Primark., 'We are sorry for the earlier apology,' they said. 'And we're sorry that Primark and companies like them have their clothes made by slave...

Channel 5 busy acquiring "Gimme Shelter" for Test highlights show 0
simonjmr 3 years
Birmingham City appoint El-Hadji Diouf as manager 0
Midfield Diamond 3 years

The stakes have been upped in the Most Unwelcome Managerial Appointment contest today as Birmingham City seek to dislodge bitter rivals Aston Villa from a seemingly unassailable position. Diouf,...

Cameron responds to Argentinian president's criticism - 'She's a woman!' 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

David Cameron today hit back at criticism from Agentinian president Cristina Fernandez of his stand on the Falklands' sovereignty., 'She's a woman!' he said scornfully to gathered pressmen. 'What...

Parents who regularly see their teenage children ‘more likely to get drunk’ 2
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Sri Lanka cricket team in trouble against England as rain continues 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

The Sri Lankan cricket team made several losses this morning on the second day of the rain-affected test match. The current scorecard is: Paranavitana drowned 11, Thirimanne eaten by sharks 10,...