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Bitcoins resurge in popularity as virtual threepenny piece version revealed 0
throngsman 22.03.14 3:44pm
North Korea Attacks the Sea – Direct Hit Says Kim Jong Un

In one of the best examples of Grandiose Delusions since King Canute thought he could stop the tide coming in, North Korea has fired at least 30 missiles into the sea. Kim Jong Un is reported to have...

Rumour Control 22.03.14 3:25pm
Shock after inclusion of "More Soon" found to not impact success of headlines 3
Bigglesworth 22.03.14 3:25pm
Treasury to take out student loan to pay off national debt 0
Bigglesworth 22.03.14 3:00pm
Malaysian Airlines concede 'mystery tours probably not a good idea' 2
throngsman 22.03.14 2:51pm
Blair Tries to Cut an Absolution Deal With the Pope

Rumours have surface on the ‘VatiLeaks’ website that Toni ‘The Mouth’ Blair has been getting cold feet about eternal damnation. Realising the new Papal hardline on organised crime, he has...

Guillermo De Snookio 22.03.14 2:44pm
Guillermo De Snookio
CNN Latest – Amanpour Hopes to Interview God

It has been revealed that CNN has sent a request to God, as they believe he has a few questions to answer. So far the responses from Heaven have been that the Almighty is not available for comment,...

Guillermo De Snookio 22.03.14 2:41pm
Guillermo De Snookio
Kate Bush wary of surgery after recent cutbacks 0
Squudge 22.03.14 2:09pm
Yorkshire to hold referendum on independence from England cricket team 0
johnnydobbo 22.03.14 1:48pm
Ndrangheta Warned - Torquemada Out of Retirement

Pope Frances has said that he was reforming the Dominican Friars, Inquisition Branch, and added with a chuckle [i]‘When I say Dominican Friars, I mean Dominican Fryers, you know what I mean’.[/i]...

Guillermo De Snookio 22.03.14 1:11pm
Guillermo De Snookio
OAP Spends Annuity on Parker Pens

Widow, 82 year old, Gladys Frail told reporters that she would not be buying a sports car as she could not afford the insurance. She had decided to spend the money on a pre-paid headstone, funeral...

Guillermo De Snookio 22.03.14 12:34pm
Guillermo De Snookio
Plane fuselage photo was noodle on lense admit Chinese.

More speculation soon...

MADJEZ 22.03.14 11:55am
Visitors still trapped in MC Escher exhibition

Emergency services have been called to Tate Modern after a number of visitors were unable to escape from a retrospective of the artist MC Escher. ‘I have been up and down these stairs for three...

Ludicity 22.03.14 10:21am
Al OPecia
Kate Bush cancels dates - 'I can't compete with Del Amitri' 0
electrelane 22.03.14 10:20am
You and Whose Army Van Rumpoy Tells Putin

Herman Van Rumpoy today warned Mad Bad Vlad, that if he wanted to mix it with the 28 Crew, he was in for a hard time. In a statement at Brussels he said, ‘I got your number, Putin, I know where you...

Rumour Control 22.03.14 8:57am
Don Francis advises local business interests.

In a bid to re-establish authority over the Mafia the Catholic Church has stepped up their terror operations. Bishops Smyth, McCormick and a legion of other hardened exploiters and their lawyers...

Robert Koch 22.03.14 8:49am
Robert Koch
Pope Puts Frightners on the Mafia.

In a message to the Cosa Nostra, Pope Frances has said, [i]‘Maybe you boys think you is the bosses around here, but I know da Big Boss upstairs and you is goin straight to hell, no redemption not...

Rumour Control 22.03.14 12:52am
Rumour Control
Missing Airliner Found On Ebay

Do I win a prize for the most boring, tastless and tedious reptition of a completely worn-out theme?...

Titus 21.03.14 10:21pm
Fairy Dust to be zero rated, says Chancellor

Continuing his theme of allowing old people to realise their dreams by releasing their obligations to convert their pension funds into an annuity, the Chancellor George Osborne has unveiled further...

throngsman 21.03.14 10:11pm
Church leaders condemn lazy priests who refuse to exorcise 4
blacklesbianandproudofit 21.03.14 10:08pm
Al OPecia
Missing man found 'alive and frightened' in John Lewis

A man who has been missing since Christmas Eve has been found in a John Lewis department store in Edinburgh. Roger Bould had been missing for almost 3 months after he had gone to do some last minute...

bookiesfriend 21.03.14 9:34pm
Queues Form at Apple Store to hear rumours of rumours

'it's been nearly three weeks since I've heard any rumours of a product launch,' said one shopper standing in line around the London Apple Store, 'so I thought I'd pop down to see if there were any...

throngsman 21.03.14 9:25pm
American Nutters Multiplying Faster than Louis Theroux can Interview Them

The BBC has launched an appeal to clone Louis Theroux in an effort to rescue even more American weirdos from obscurity. “The USA is a unique ecosystem”, explains Theroux, “with more psychiatric...

deceangli 21.03.14 9:20pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Police halve time to identify fingerprints

Police scientists have revealed today that they have developed a revolutionary new way to speed up the analysis of fingerprints. 'For years we've been following the protocols laid down by TV...

throngsman 21.03.14 9:19pm
Sepp Blatter to ban poo tins from 2018 World Cup

FIFA boss Sepp Blatter today upped the temperature on the Ukraine crisis with an executive decision to slap a ban on poo tins during the 2018 World Cup in Russia. Responding to savage EU travel...

Lenny Bee 21.03.14 8:32pm
Lenny Bee
James Hetfield goes public on 35-year macaroni cheese addiction

[URL=][/URL] James Hetfield (pictured left in the mid 70s aiming for a career in physics, and some time later with Metallica at the height...

camz 21.03.14 8:09pm
Old sea dog's "barque worse than his bite" 1
sydalg 21.03.14 7:34pm
Meddling kids recruited to search for MH370 in long hallways with many doors 0
Bigglesworth 21.03.14 7:30pm
Max Clifford trial ‘cynical PR stunt’ to give false impression he has a large pe

Sadly, it just proved he is a big dickhead. “I have never had sex with anyone, so how anyone could know the size of my penis is laughable” said Lonesome George just before he became extinct....

Damien_H 21.03.14 7:11pm
Man caught watching Crimewatch without a TV Licence

'It's kind of ironic,' said Bill Evans of Basingstoke, 'but I was just watching Crimewatch to see who they were chasing this week and Doris, that's the wife, said "isn't that our front door?". Well...

throngsman 21.03.14 7:01pm