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Mystery condition that causes man to age 50 years in a few days... 1
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

identified by scientists as 'marriage'.

Hillary Swank explains "I only wanted to know why the chechen crossed the road" 2
bonjonelson 3 years
Sony to assess cancer risk after a number of its TV sets started smoking. 3
simonjmr 3 years

Sony is to face censure from the governement after it's TV sets flout Smoking in public places legislation. More soon...

41% of mobiles in Birmingham are pretty shitty study shows 0
RJWinter 3 years
Public half-day holiday for iPhone 4S users 3
Boutros 3 years

Official: Businesses throughout the land are giving employees the morning off to collect their new iPhone 4S from stores on the much heralded day of launch. Anticipating long waits as busy sales...

Do ministers dump in the park? 0
Steve Wilson 3 years

Coming only weeks after the successful resolution to the question 'Do bears dump in the woods' a new eternal mystery has risen. 'Do ministers dump important correspondence in the park' Intrepid...

Japanese banana ban not bananas 2
witless 3 years

The Japanese government has acted swiftly, in response to the radiation hot spot detected in Tokyo, by banning banana imports, which they have also reclassified as a class A drug for good measure....

Cameron pans Letwin for "breaking recycling guidelines". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Prince Charles divorces Camilla after introduction of horse whipping ban 0
Perks 3 years
“I was groomed.” A victim of abuse speaks out 7
henry deal 3 years

By Deirdre Longford “At one point I was being groomed by up to four people- two men and two women., They would force me onto all fours then shove me around as they took turns to rub a leather...

Corporate manager awes kids with tales of "fighting fires" 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Poor people should 'skip' Christmas, Government says 1
roybland 3 years

Poor people should consider skipping Christmas this year to show they are really poor, the Government says.,  , 'If, despite our benefit cuts, poor people are seen enjoying themselves at...

Change in succession rules brings British Monarchy fully into the 19th Century 1
JohnA 3 years
Batman to dress as a 'civvy' to get kids back 4
Perks 3 years
Triple Velvet's 3 year old star publishes his autobiography 0
Perks 3 years

Once a star in every nursery and playground, now, a washed up has been, 3 year old Dylan Jones tells the story of his life in his autobiography 'Toys out of the pram'. Read the exclusive...

'Eat less, exercise more', says government on obesity 4
SpankyMonkey 3 years

People need to be more honest about how much they eat and drink if obesity levels are to be reduced, ministers say., The government's obesity strategy said on average adults are exceeding their...

Al Qaeda running low on virgins after martyr surge 0
vertical 3 years

'Keeping it at 53 a piece is killing us' says virgin recruiter Hamid Al Hymeny...

Shetland oil developments: "It's good news for Britain!" says London Government 3
dvo4fun 3 years
Cameron confirms succession proposals will definitely prevent Clegg taking power 0
simonjmr 3 years
Dale Farm residents buy a cat in bid to avoid eviction 11
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

More soon Has this been done already? It must have been, surely it's too obvious not to have been done?...

My Blackberry is worki 4
Griffin 3 years
Thames Barrier inventor dies – tributaries flood in 8
witless 3 years

more to follow...

Dale Farm travellers' fury at being forced to travel 0
apepper 3 years

Traveller's living in the illegal Dale Farm development are furious that their traditional way of life of "not travelling" has been overturned by the high court...

Government condemns 'Guttop Computer' release amid obesity crisis talks 1
kga6 3 years

Computer manufacturers, HP, who also sell a range of table sauces, are set to capitalise on their combined knowledge of the food and computer industries with the release of the 'Guttop', a portable...

Paul Merson denies drink-driving. "I only had Coke" 1
Perks 3 years
'Propping houses up on a ramp would solve housing slump,' car dealer claims. 12
Boutros 3 years

"It's something we've been doing for years and it never fails to attract attention," explained car dealer Cliff Sweeney, gesturing towards a second-hand Rover parked on a steep ramp, the back wheels...

Basildon Council in new appeal for fresh ideas to waste another £18m 1
roybland 3 years

Basildon Council is asking the public to suggest innovative ways the council can waste another £18m of taxpayers' money now that the Dale Farm battle appears to be over. 'Admittedly,' said leader...

Man has 1965 Austin-Healey Sprite Haynes Manual pejazzle 0
simonjmr 3 years
Fitting of security devices described as “Alarming” 6
beau-jolly 3 years
Plagiarist murder sparks fear of copycat killings 2
button 3 years