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Victor Meldrew in ads for Tesco's new "I Don't Believe It" range of tinned stews 2
Drylaw 09.02.13 4:58pm
Squudge
Court news: Aggressive defence now allowed "Only when defendant isn't guilty"

more later...

1
dvo4fun 09.02.13 4:57pm
Squudge
Findus releases new range of horsemeat TV dinners

Findus Foods have decided to make lemonade with their lemons by announcing a new range of horse-meat based TV dinners including Crispy Shergar burgers, Black Bess Ratatouille, Red Rum Au Vin and...

4
AReader 09.02.13 4:56pm
Squudge
TV first as ‘Last time’ and ‘Next time’ fill entire episode

TV history was made last night when the middle episode of a three part drama contained no new footage at all, but consisted entirely of a summary of the story so far and what was going to happen next...

8
Des Custard 09.02.13 4:53pm
Squudge
Housing benefits officer injured in town hall tumbleweed incident

A housing benefits officer is recovering in hospital after being hit by a large piece of tumbleweed. Bill Slater, who works for Birmingham City Council, had gone to work as usual on Wednesday...

2
Dick Everyman 09.02.13 4:52pm
Squudge
Guest Columnist: Richard Littlejohn

The Horror of Same-sex Shambles I’ve had some fun over the years with a few well-timed gags about poofters, but today I want to tell you about something far more serious. Something I’ve never...

0
Mik Bulk 09.02.13 4:46pm
Mik Bulk
Government launches Totopolies Commission to deal with horsemeat scandal

It's a boardgaming joke, geddit? Oh, forget it...

0
DustyBinLaden 09.02.13 3:40pm
DustyBinLaden
School kids titter as New German Education Minister is a Wanka

true - check out the story!...

0
custard cream 09.02.13 3:32pm
custard cream
New food scandal as Quorn mince found to contain 100% tasteless fungus

"Scandal? What scandal?"...

0
AReader 09.02.13 3:31pm
AReader
Cameron to declare equal rights for horses to be in beef burgers

and demands that the FSA and food manufacturers stop their bigoted claim culture and instead use general information such as "may contain beef"...

0
4ty2 09.02.13 3:24pm
4ty2
New steak scare: Supermarket butchers' rumps to be probed.

and yet another...

0
weematt 09.02.13 2:17pm
weematt
Yewtree uses Youtube

Officers at Operation Yewtree have uncovered a devastating new weapon in their bid to destroy the lives of the rubbish entertainers from the 60s and 70s who blighted so many young lives - Youtube. A...

1
lane-avenger 09.02.13 2:15pm
Drylaw
Whore D'oeuvres

An investigation is to be launched after as much as 100% whores' DNA has been found in several frozen products on supermarket shelves. The contaminated foodstuffs, on sale in the UK and Ireland are...

1
topfotogmw 09.02.13 1:56pm
4ty2
Remains of Catherine the Great found to contain traces of horse DNA 1
cinquecento 09.02.13 1:08pm
Tripod
planned sequel to War Horse sponsored by Findus 0
victimms 09.02.13 12:40pm
victimms
Arbitrary deadlines must be abolished by March 16th 5
Vertically Challenged Giant 09.02.13 11:34am
Tripod
McCartney denies veggie burgers contain 29% uniquorn 0
cinquecento 09.02.13 10:16am
cinquecento
Rooney tested for horse DNA after suspicious Brazil victory

Wayne Rooney was tested today for traces of horse DNA after galloping across the Wembley turf for the full 90 minutes on Wednesday. Following England's surprise victory, nagging doubts about...

2
09.02.13 10:08am
Mandela's grand-daughters in "I'm a Celebrity, Get me out of Here"

Won't get a ticker, just struck me as humorous, http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-21381037 [Edit: meaningless without the link. Duh!]...

0
Sinnick 09.02.13 8:59am
Sinnick
Cameron in EU budget cut victory: Dog to replace horse in beef products. 0
Nowherefast 09.02.13 5:32am
Nowherefast
Lib Dems Suggest Creating a European Organisation to Regulate Meat Quality

"What we need" said a spokesman "is some kind of official European organisation to regulate the quality of meat and other products traded between the various countries of Europe." "It might mean the...

0
Titus 09.02.13 4:54am
Titus
Office Of Statistics Budget Justified By Current News Items

As recently as last week, the Office Of Statistics budget was rumoured to be facing funding cuts reported to be in the region of 38%, but the recent national obsession with percentages of all...

0
Paddy Berzinski 09.02.13 2:25am
Paddy Berzinski
Abattoir staff 'wondered why they had been killing horses'

Staff at Britain's largest abattoir in Buckinghamshire are satisfied at finally understanding the central role they had been playing in the industrialised slaughter of horses for over two years....

2
BAJDixon 09.02.13 1:30am
dvo4fun
Stuart Hall to fight charges with huge foam hammer and bucket of water 2
Duncan Biscuit 09.02.13 1:27am
Alan Sundry
UK braces for snow story overload

The UK has been put on high alert this weekend after forecasters predicted a massive deluge of press and TV news stories about snow. One mediarologist, who couldn't be named, said: "We are going to...

3
Mik Bulk 09.02.13 1:25am
Alan Sundry
Findhoss....

.The new meaty product on the market? Nay, lad...

4
Jesse Bigg 09.02.13 12:18am
nickb
Foal found in veal 0
nickb 09.02.13 12:14am
nickb
Isle of Wight discover that Cowes is actually 29% Horses

Isle of Wight residents were shocked to discover that nearly a third of the Cowes is actually Horses. Our reporter tried to record local reactions but was burnt as a witch when he pulled out his...

1
apepper 09.02.13 12:13am
nickb
New book on history's 'hottest communication methods' found to contain morseheat 1
SJM 08.02.13 11:31pm
SJM
Dairy farmer discovers 60% of his cows are actually horses

Investigators looking into the ongoing beef/horsemeat scandal believe they may have traced the cause of the problem to a short-sighted farmer in Tipperary, who was found to have a significant...

13
Vertically Challenged Giant 08.02.13 11:12pm
Paddy Berzinski