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Graham Norton spits: “I won't take no lessons from Ian McKellen & Derek Jacobi" 0
Lenny Bee 03.05.13 6:17pm
Lenny Bee
ITV launches sit-com about two stick-in-the muds living together "Viscous". 0
Al OPecia 03.05.13 6:12pm
Al OPecia
Job advert for new Santa Claus rushed out. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 03.05.13 6:07pm
Al OPecia
Blues-rock musician poses zen question about the sound of one hand clapton

Sadly not original, but thought it was good enough to share...

Smart Alex 03.05.13 5:53pm
Smart Alex
Dental Injuries Feared As BBC Announce UKIP Successes through Gritted Teeth 5
Titus 03.05.13 4:55pm
"Swivel-Eyed Loons" Replaced By "Clowns And Fruitcakes" Since Milliband Appeared 0
Titus 03.05.13 4:53pm
Fararge in smile death horror

Horrified onlookers gaped in horror today as the grin on the face of triumphant UKIP leader Nigel Farage spread so wide it severed his cranium from his jaw. One witness said: "It was horrible. And...

monkeyrepublic 03.05.13 4:21pm
UKIP triumph on 'vague indignance' platform

In local elections across England, the UK Indignance Party has made impressive gains running on a manifesto specifying no more than 'a general and de-focused outrage at the state of things'. Exit...

monkeyrepublic 03.05.13 3:39pm
"Trickle-up quantitative easing" trialled as BoE issues VagaBonds 4
beau-jolly 03.05.13 2:28pm
Fans asked not to call "hey, you t'ree" at The Comedians Dublin reunion 0
cinquecento 03.05.13 11:55am
1970s under arrest by Operation Yewtree

A spokesman for Operation Yewtree has announced that after extensive investigation, the entire decade from 1970 to 1979 has been put under arrest. "It is clear that the 1970s thought they could get...

AReader 03.05.13 11:47am
Weatherman sacked for gross misconduct leaves under a cloud 0
John Wiltshire 03.05.13 11:40am
John Wiltshire
BBC announce all-star cast for Porridge remake

The BBC announced that they will be remaking their 1970s hit prison comedy Porridge, with an all-star cast. “All our presenters and entertainers over the age of 55 have signed up” said a BBC...

Yikes 03.05.13 11:27am
Fans warned Fast and Furious 6 reviews may contain spoilers 1
Idiot 03.05.13 11:18am
Man in law firm chimney named as Dick Van Dyke.. gor blimey. 0
MADJEZ 03.05.13 11:15am
Losing local council candidates all go back home where they came from 0
Backup Brian 03.05.13 10:42am
Backup Brian
Election latest - Cameron trumped after Farage plays joker 0
Lenny Bee 03.05.13 9:43am
Lenny Bee
Person with no interest in politics tries politics, realises it's not for them

A 42 year old shop assistant from Swansea yesterday tried politics and discovered that it just wasn't for her. The mum of two said, 'Some of my colleagues were having a conversation about George...

andrewl81 03.05.13 9:39am
Nigel Farage grows toothbrush moustache 0
Scroat 03.05.13 9:36am
In Business Profile: Joe Dixon of Spondoolica Group (new and improved reposting)

Joe Dixon is CEO of Spondoolica Group, whose mission statement reveals that they “seek to empower the people of Britain, boost consumer confidence and stimulate the sustained customer-led economic...

Sir Lupus 03.05.13 9:34am
Midfield Diamond
Operation Yewtree "A complex police conspiracy to end repeats" claim UK GOLD

Purveyors of recycled, mawkish, shit balls UK GOLD has admitted that operation Yewtree has left its schedule more barren than usual. An unnamed bottom TV exec admitted that at the current rate of...

theinvisiblecitychannels 03.05.13 8:55am
Emeritus Prime Minister Returns

Former Prime Minister Tony Blair has returned to Westminster on the 16th anniversary of his elevation to the Premiership. Nearly 6 years after being the first Premier to abdicate at a time of his own...

Lol Blackhall 03.05.13 8:52am
Elections latest "Tories done up like a UKIPper". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 03.05.13 6:30am
Al OPecia
Shock as all postal votes go to a black and white cat

Showing a swing to the Cat-Nip Party. A spokesperson, Pat, says "The voters in Greendale can look forward to an increase in spending on scratching boards, clockwork mice, and balls with bells in...

Ian Searle 03.05.13 5:31am
Ian Searle
Economy Latest - Borrowers face 'Wake-up call', but Wombles set to clean up 0
Ian Searle 03.05.13 5:27am
Ian Searle
Council election results: UKIP win more bin collection rounds than ever before

more by the minute...

Postal Voter 03.05.13 4:46am
Postal Voter
New study to investigate why sex offenders always bag the best jobs at the Beeb 0
ronseal 02.05.13 11:13pm
The Europa League is super important.

After Chelsea defeated Basel in the semi-final of the Europa League, it was announced that the much maligned competition is now considered the greatest tournament on earth, now that an English team...

Hooch 02.05.13 10:05pm
Alleged sexual assault on rememberance Sunday 'poppycock' claims veteran 0
topfotogmw 02.05.13 9:56pm
Erectile Dysfunction adverts: "just a load of old floppycock" claims expert 0
simonjmr 02.05.13 9:50pm