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‘I think I'm just an idiot’, admits Boris Johnson in emotional YouTube video

Mayor of London Boris Johnson has come out as "utterly clueless about pretty much everything", in an emotional five-minute YouTube video uploaded today. The 49-year-old Conservative politician and...

Jesus H 04.12.13 9:06am
Millions of Dreamcatchers recalled due to wiring error

Millions of Dreamcatchers, sold though high street chain Pound Kingdom, have been recalled today. A simple manufacturing mistake means that all Dreamcatchers sold were set up as Dreamcrushers....

gaijintendo 04.12.13 8:54am
UK knot any gud at maffs but engerlish KO. 1
Al OPecia 04.12.13 8:28am
Jesse Bigg
Short planks distance themselves from British children

More to follow...

apepper 04.12.13 6:53am
Italian children scored highest in "Pizza Test" 0
AReader 03.12.13 11:34pm
Massive Earthquake Turns GB Upside Down…..

….Scottish' and Geordie' tans all the rage. 'Ee! niver, love!'...

Jesse Bigg 03.12.13 10:06pm
Jesse Bigg
The Greasy Pole…..

….Aftermath of Cameron's haircut by east European barber?...

Jesse Bigg 03.12.13 9:45pm
Jesse Bigg
'The Cameron Handshake?'…...

….Good shake with foreign leaders…… Arm-lock economics for us Brits...

Jesse Bigg 03.12.13 9:29pm
Jesse Bigg
Cry for help dismissed as "cry for help". 4
nickb 03.12.13 7:47pm
Italian kids disappointed not to have done better in Pisa tests 1
medici2471 03.12.13 7:46pm
Taliban relaxed about Amazon drones: "They usually deliver when we're out." 2
medici2471 03.12.13 7:45pm
Gok Wan brands the FA 'fashion fascista' as flares banned from football matches 1
pinxit 03.12.13 7:24pm
World's first energy-saving lightbulb finally reaches maximum brightness

The world's first energy-saving lightbulb, made in 1976, has finally reached its maximum brightness. Switched on 37 years ago, the first 14 years passed without anyone realising it was emitting any...

James Pluside 03.12.13 7:21pm
Hollywood actress 'comes out' as secret diver

Former Cagney & Lacey star Tyne Daly has revealed she has been a closet diver all her life., The Hollywood star decided to ‘come out’ following rumours in some tabloid newspapers that she...

Gerontius 03.12.13 7:15pm
Clare Balding's gran cancels her order for Tom Daley 2014 calendar

Orders one of that nice Dale Winton instead...

irreverendJ 03.12.13 7:11pm
Al OPecia
Students oblivious to lecturers' strike. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 03.12.13 6:55pm
Taliban complain that Amazon drones cause "annoying confusion"

More to follow...

apepper 03.12.13 6:36pm
Man trapped in small town for entire life 5
Dumbnews 03.12.13 5:28pm
Dark Web is getter really dark, man, the website that replaced Silk Road, has gone so dark that it can no longer be reached. All moneys deposited at have been secured offsite, said a spokesman, who did not...

Beer Sampler 03.12.13 4:19pm
Beer Sampler
Website requires one to login to access the login page 0
Dumbnews 03.12.13 4:10pm
Amazon to weaponize Xmas shopping

Fans of online shopping will soon see unmanned drones dropping a range of seasonal products upon their heads; with Syria already registering an interest in the express of delivery of 800 tonnes of...

Wrenfoe 03.12.13 3:13pm
Paddy Berzinski
Turner Prize Accidently Awarded for Spilled Coffee

There was chronic embarrassment yesterday evening in Londonderry, as the Turner Prize was awarded to Performance Artist Tino Sehgal for what was later revealed to be an accident, as the security...

james_doc 03.12.13 1:31pm
Government Reclassify Cars Carrying Passengers as Buses

In order to meet its target on encouraging use of public transport, cars carrying more than one person are now recognised as buses., At a Department for Transport press conference, minister for...

james_doc 03.12.13 12:54pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Tom Daly reveals that the sky is blue

Nobody saw that one coming...

Spartacus 03.12.13 12:52pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Chinese battery-farmed kids better at number games than free-range UK ones

More meaningless statistics at 1...

blokefromstoke 03.12.13 12:31pm
Christmas road safety campaign announced – don’t drink and drive until January

Police forces across the country have launched their annual campaign against drink-driving during December. Hundreds of police officers will be redeployed for one month only from their desk jobs to...

Midfield Diamond 03.12.13 12:30pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Npower bosses linked to historic thefts of urine.

"Been taking the piss for years" say customers., More items by candlelight at 1...

blokefromstoke 03.12.13 12:26pm
Research shows men's brains wired to their genitals.

Researchers at the University of Pennsylvania have found that men's and women's brains are wired differently. The study shows that women's brains are wired to cope with words, memory and...

James Pluside 03.12.13 11:41am
James Pluside
David Cameron denies he is Richard Nixon.

As Chinese toy manufacturers gear up for production of the David Cameron bendy doll (for domestic market only), the Honourable Member for Manchuria & Witney denied that his hairstyle, pronounced...

miked10270 03.12.13 9:50am
Daly branded needy as boyfriend dumps him over 'love' comments. 0
MADJEZ 03.12.13 9:23am