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Sweets banned from sweet shops 0
beau-jolly 3 years

Sweet displays in sweet shops are to be banned in England as part of a package to reduce childhood obesity. Children as young as five have been known to choose to spend their pocket money by simply...

Tobacco displays banned from shops 5
nilbymouse 3 years

Camels banned from zoos., Marlborough renamed "Swindon South"., Lucky Strikes banned from ten-pin bowling alleys., Embassy No 1 rebadged as Chief Ambassador. Riesler banned from Newsbiscuit?...

Ripper fails in freedom challenge after inadvertently butchering Court of Appeal 0
someone else 3 years
Seven geezers arrested in Iceland bank probe 4
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Rentokill to back no fly zone over Libya 0
virtuallywill 3 years
FIAT launches car powered by olive oil 1
Dumbnews 3 years
John Lewis becomes 20% better at selling stuff you can buy cheaper elsewhere 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Claim that credit card fraud is at a ten-year low ‘highly suspicious’ 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
The One Show's Matt Baker has previous 0
simonjmr 3 years

After Matt Baker's last second questioning of David Cameron with "How do you sleep?", a BBC enquiry has uncovered that Matt Baker has previous. The BBC believe that in 1989 it was Mr Baker who...

Prince William to visit scenes of Australia's national disasters 0
simonjmr 3 years

Prince William will visit Adelaide Oval, Melbourne and Sydney cricket grounds, where distraught Aussies will remember the devastation that they witnessed. More soon...

Kate Middleton tosses a pancake... 2
be reasonable 3 years

Off you go, lads...

Facebook to introduce "Pizza" button. 0
Tammy Flugh 3 years

"While we have had no reports of anyone starving to death while using Facebook,", a spokeswoman said, "we are going to be proactive for once. If anyone complains online of feeling hungry, any friend...

Prince William to visit disaster zones 0
riesler 3 years

off to see Uncle Andy and Auntie Fergie then...

Gadaffi laughs off UN 'No Flymo' plan. 'We live in a desert !' 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Prince to open Chain of 'Princely Pleasures' Massage Parlours 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

After scouring the world on taxpayers money to find the best masseurs a Prince said he was going to open a chain of parlours that would give 'royal massages' fit for 'a Prince or King!'. He said...

Parents Demand Repeal of No Bullying Policy 1
Smartassmama 3 years

Anne and Josh Petersen tolerated the crackdown on their son's physical bullying of others. They took the high road and left their high-priced lawyer out of it when Ethan, 9, was suspended for...

Libya crisis: U.N. & NATO to act... 0
be reasonable 3 years

'once we know who's won,' says spokesman...

Cardinals Review Gospels, Order Dioceses to Reduce Hierarchy 0
Smartassmama 3 years

The Vatican--A flock of Cardinals has concluded a weeklong summit with a shocking document, "We Royaltus Screwitus Upus." The weeklong summit addressed the millenium-strong argument by heretical...

Charlie Sheen Burns Up On Re-entry from Outer Space 0
Q William Bacon 3 years
Paedophile ring shamed as Duke of York link exposed 0
Ironduke 3 years
Police Federation and Govt reach agreement: 'Sting definitely paid too much' 1
Skylarking 3 years

<sings> Moooore soooon you don't have to put on the re-ed light...

Flasher's Union calls all members out. 0
Ironduke 3 years

The Flasher's Union (FU) has declared a Day of Action in protest at rising competition from amateurs using webcams to work from home., Hanging out around a flaming oil barrel, protesters huddled...

Heathrow Cancellations Caused By 'Planes Not Being Great With Snow' 2
thisisall1word 3 years

An inquest into the flight delays during last December have found that aeroplanes operate less well in snowy conditions. All commerical flights out of Heathrow that month were to be made by...

Hillary Clinton makes unprovoked poke on Gadaffi's facebook 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Consumer Alcohol Confidence At Highest February Level Since Records Began 0
MC One R 3 years

Reports suggest that confidence in alcohol is at a level not seen since George Best and Oliver Reed went out together "for a few quiet early Saturday evening beers." Experts say that artificially...

Gaddafi flees Libya disguised as BBC Journalist 0
AlbertRoss 3 years

Reports are circulating that Libyan Leader Colonel Gaddafi has fled the country after disguising himself as veteran BBC Correspondant John Simpson. Gaddafi apparently decided that the battle to...

Radio 2 confirms all copies of Wogan's Run destroyed 0
bonjonelson 3 years

[more soon]...

Report Finds All Copies of Logan's Run Should Have Been Destroyed 5 Years Ago 0
thisisall1word 3 years
Treasury Officials Mull "Logan's Run" Pension Option 0
spiraldrain 3 years

A leaked document shows that Treasury officials have been discussing a Logan's Run style plan to reduce pension costs. The memo proposes that eligible pensioners are to be given an unspecified cash...

Eastbourne Women's Institute celebrates obstacle course victory over SAS. 0
deskpilot3 3 years