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Catholic church apologises for apologising too much 0
Underconstruction 24.03.14 5:44pm
Andre Marrine sentences 528 Egyptians to death

Following on from the debacle of sending off the wrong player in Chelsea's 6-0 drubbing of Arsenal, this much maligned Premiership referee has cracked down on 1,200 supporters of the Muslim...

Wrenfoe 24.03.14 5:22pm
Frenchman posed as football manager for 1000 matches 0
Underconstruction 24.03.14 5:13pm
‘Broken homes’ Mother’s day ranking cards hailed as a ‘Great success’

Hallmark, the world’s largest greeting card business is delighted with the take-up of its ‘Mother’s day rankings cards’ which are targeted at children from broken homes. The cards, which...

antharrison 24.03.14 5:12pm
Al OPecia
Gallery to exhibit dark and slightly sinister paintings by Vincent Van Goth 2
Smart Alex 24.03.14 5:08pm
Al OPecia
Childrens' party host apologises for 'pin the tail on the Indian Ocean' gaff 0
Underconstruction 24.03.14 5:07pm
Little Mix get their period

MTF every month...

Underconstruction 24.03.14 5:04pm
Dinosaur nuggets found to contain no dinosaur

A leading frozen food company has apologised after batches of its dinosaur nuggets were found to contain mainly chicken. MTF...

Underconstruction 24.03.14 5:00pm
Sir Trevor McDonald to appeal against red card received whilst watching Arsenal 0
Underconstruction 24.03.14 4:57pm
Pistorius trial extended to mid-May due to excellent ticket sales 9
Andy Gilder 24.03.14 4:32pm
Plane bitz in C 4 defo. Plz #out hotel tomoz L8test. Soz. Malaysia Gov. 0
Ironduke 24.03.14 4:27pm
Brahms 'n' Liszt to split, due to "artistic differences"

Popular cockney music combo Brahms and Liszt, best known for their 80's chart- topper "Getting elephants down the rubber", have announced that they are going their separate ways. Bearded pianist...

Son of Barnabas 24.03.14 4:12pm
Snowden’s neck mole calling shots?

Snowden’s neck mole calling shots? Hero, traitor or victim of dermatological mind control? Researchers at the Newark Institute of Influencing Sciences have put forward a new theory for...

teleport 24.03.14 3:21pm
'Do I look like I have a f**king Nectar Card' Shane MacGowan tells cashier 0
bookiesfriend 24.03.14 2:22pm
Decriminalisation of licence fee dodging "symptomatic of dangerous BBC liberalis

A right-wing think-tank has slammed the proposed move to decriminalise those who don't pay the BBC licence fee as "yet another example of dangerous permissive thinking" at the corporation. The...

gnarlyb 24.03.14 2:04pm
Radio 3 to merge with Buzzfeed. Expect more Liszt 0
Andy Gilder 24.03.14 1:00pm
Andy Gilder
Archeologist discovers ancient woman buried under layers of makeup 1
Dumbnews 24.03.14 12:58pm
Son of Barnabas
Alternative comic who mistook bathos for pathos got sympathetic round of applaus

Drat! one bloody character short again! Less next time...

blacklesbianandproudofit 24.03.14 12:56pm
Son of Barnabas
Putin Attends Meetings Wearing a Balaclava

It has also been revealed that he has signed the Crimean Independence document as Mikael Mouse. As a former KGB operative Putin has a reticence to reveal his identity to anybody and should a Galtieri...

Guillermo De Snookio 24.03.14 11:58am
Guillermo De Snookio
Sub withdrawn 0
Gary Stanton 24.03.14 11:29am
Gary Stanton
Putin congratulates Abramovich for successful annexation of North London

First Spurs, now Arsenal...

DorsetBoy 24.03.14 11:28am
Midfield Diamond
Shania Twain found sleeping rough in back-streets of Dundee

There was confusion yesterday in the city of Dundee when singer-songwriter Shania Twain was discovered living amongst the city's homeless. It is unclear how long the Canadian country-pop star had...

bookiesfriend 24.03.14 11:27am
Another Big Row In Downing Street…..

….Osborne forgot to close the gate. "Remember, Ozzie, We're a gated community", shouts Cameron...

Jesse Bigg 24.03.14 11:20am
Not Amused
Heritage industry want Uk to be Rebranded as the Land of 'Ye Olde Gifte Shoppe'

China called the Uk 'nothing but a theme park'. Enlivened by that idea some in the heritage industry see it as an opportunity to make 'Ye Olde Gifte Shoppe' a global brand. "We could all dress up",...

Dun Dunkin 24.03.14 11:14am
Doubts raised over Shania law in UK

Controversial moves to impose Shania law were thrown into confusion when opponents raised concerns about how it would be enacted. Melissa Roberts from the 'Say No to Shania Law' campaign said,...

custard cream 24.03.14 11:12am
Tower of Piza gains listed status 25
bonjonelson 24.03.14 10:55am
custard cream
Pistorius trial latest: "I was aiming high" 0
Bigglesworth 24.03.14 10:35am
British Referendum : Not to charge people for not voting

A referendum to be held on whether to not fine no voters. The British people will be asked to vote on whether to not fine people for not voting...

footinmouth 24.03.14 8:22am
Scottish referendum - Scotland to join Russian Federation

Scotland to hold referendum to see if it should not join the Russian Federation. No comment from Salmond about using the apathy and absence of Scottish voter to direct the vote in his favour...

footinmouth 24.03.14 8:19am
BBC Managers Worried Re Morning Kettle Noise…..

….Greatly affecting speech radio programmes...

Jesse Bigg 24.03.14 8:16am
Jesse Bigg