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Government hopes to sweeten badger cull with Big Brother cull

The Department of the Environment is planning to win over humanitarian activists opposed to killing badgers by launching a parallel cull of contestants in Big Brother and other reality TV programmes....

0
sydalg 19.06.13 4:31pm
sydalg
Kanye West to open Kanye East 0
virtuallywill 19.06.13 4:24pm
virtuallywill
British Army to replace "Snatch Land Rover" with "Clunge Mercedes". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 19.06.13 4:21pm
Al OPecia
G8 to re-brand as Gr8 in attempt to connect with student protest groups 3
Bertrand Twisted 19.06.13 3:59pm
weematt
‘Buckaroo, Twister and Guitar Hero’ found on leaked G8 Summit agenda

The G8 Summit, a gathering of the world’s most influential leaders, brought together to pool ideas on the resolution of critical global issues, like civil war in Syria and aid pledges to the poor,...

2
NorthernGravy 19.06.13 3:51pm
NorthernGravy
Government to demonise literary badgers to reduce cull opposition

DEFRA minister Owen Paterson has announced a widespread rewriting of all literary works that contain favourable references to badgers in an attempt to persuade the public that badgers should be shot...

3
ianslat 19.06.13 3:03pm
sillybugger
Saatchi to promote "playful tiffs" round UK town halls

The man who revolutionised advertising and modern art collecting has a new creative string to his bow. Playful tiffs, broken down into heavyweight, welterweight and lightweight sectors will take...

0
nickb 19.06.13 2:56pm
nickb
Andy Carroll signs 6 year deal....that's 60 games then? 0
irreverendJ 19.06.13 2:30pm
irreverendJ
Utterly pointless TV series launched: Should Scientists Get A Life?

Following the success of television programmes such as The Swarm, in which we learned that sales of soup increase during cold weather, and The Private Lives of Cats, which taught us that cats go out...

1
Midfield Diamond 19.06.13 2:10pm
Lindy Moone
Snowden caught in ‘Bedroom Tax’ Scam

According to sources, the diplomatic community is about to be rocked by a new scandal. The Department for Work and Pensions claim Embassy officials in London have been avoiding the "under-occupancy...

0
Wrenfoe 19.06.13 2:03pm
Wrenfoe
Archangel Gabriel denies historic abuse allegation 0
Coco 19.06.13 1:53pm
Coco
Charles Saatchi asks for his chicken "golden brown" 0
sydalg 19.06.13 1:45pm
sydalg
Top T.V licence excuses published: We need it for quality programming

More repeated later, on Dave...

5
virtuallywill 19.06.13 1:37pm
Titus
Kitty Porn: Concern Expressed Over Internet Access to Pictures Of Under-Age Cats 0
Titus 19.06.13 1:22pm
Titus
G8 summit reaches agreement to arm G8 protesters

In a move designed to parallel the arming of the Free Syrian Army in their struggle against oppressive government, it was agreed today to provide small arms to the international gathering of...

6
NewBiscuit 19.06.13 12:58pm
ianslat
Cat Deeley Suspected of being Alien Queen

Miaow news later...

0
victimms 19.06.13 12:32pm
victimms
Extra Terrestial sex is out of this world says Labour Politician 0
victimms 19.06.13 12:28pm
victimms
Bashar Al-Assad dismisses gassing of civilians as a "playful tiff"

Hopefully no more...

6
NewBiscuit 19.06.13 11:31am
Sinnick
Government to open talks with badgers

The agriculture minister has said that the government is to start talking to the badgers as "the first step on the long road to peace." An unnamed source admitted that, "There's been fault on both...

7
apepper 19.06.13 11:19am
Wrenfoe
Unanswered prayers went into junk mail, says God

The Creator of the Universe has announced that the inability to answer people's prayers is down to “simple administrative errors” and should in no way compromise their faith in Him or stop them...

11
sydalg 19.06.13 10:24am
Lindy Moone
The shafters shafted : E-Wing prepare 'special' welcome for jailed bankers 1
FlashArry 19.06.13 10:17am
Wrenfoe
G8 tax avoidance reforms in doubt after final session held at airport duty-free 1
Duncan Biscuit 19.06.13 10:17am
Wrenfoe
$500 billion dollar surveillance “Possibly worth every cent” says US Public

Chuck Griffiths from Wisconsin used to work for a government agency but when the agency laid off half its workers in the recession Chuck lost his home, his car and had to BBQ the dog to stop the...

0
sillybugger 19.06.13 9:05am
sillybugger
Fatcat Football League bosses reject fan calls for fair ticket pricing

Sir Harry Tiles, 73, chairman of the premier league, today rejected calls from fans to regulate ticket prices at top clubs., Sir Harry is reported to earn a salary of £400,000 which has recently...

0
NewBiscuit 19.06.13 8:44am
NewBiscuit
NHS watchdog’s bark found to be worse than its bite 0
Duncan Biscuit 19.06.13 8:26am
Duncan Biscuit
About-turn as Taliban fighters made redundant offered suicide bomber roles 0
Duncan Biscuit 19.06.13 8:24am
Duncan Biscuit
Electropop civil war latest, Tubeway Army gains territory lost to Tubeway Rebels 0
Scronnyglonkle 19.06.13 7:09am
Scronnyglonkle
Brazilians refuse to take a haircut 1
medici2471 19.06.13 6:18am
irreverendJ
God goes to pot by dropping old fashioned guides in favour of # brownies. 0
irreverendJ 19.06.13 6:05am
irreverendJ
Brazilians protest declining living standards by going to work 0
Dumbnews 19.06.13 3:12am
Dumbnews