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Jonathan Ross to move out of Wooton Bassett 0
bonjonelson 3 years

[more soon]...

Public allowed to shoot charity fund-raisers who accost you in the street 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

David Cameron today announced a new aspect of The Big Society, namely that if you are accosted in the street by a student on minimum wages who pretends they are working for Save the Squid and gives...

C3-PO in "Golden rod" scandal at Wilmslow stationers 1
simonjmr 3 years
Trend for eating at your desk inspires the new Deskfast Bar range: Eat'n'click 0
ronseal 3 years

The Eat'N'Click is for the busy executive who is just so fucking important they can't miss a minute of internet time It's for those whom manners are not an option It's for the guys who just DOn't...

Rope and sack makers involved in drive-by juting 0
simonjmr 3 years
Sectarian violence erupts at fish pedicure salons in Belfast and Glasgow 0
simonjmr 3 years

The Glasgow and Belfast salon's of Dr Fish had to be closed for several hours yesterday afternoon after violent clashes erupted between Catholics and Protestants and Celtic and Rangers fans....

Obama Deploys Unmanned Drone to Fight for Health Insurance 0
Q William Bacon 3 years
Poundland to cut everything in half to avoid price rise. 0
SingingHinny 3 years
Comedy Embargo on Kobe Earthquake Jokes extended until 2025 8
bonjonelson 3 years

The embargo on jokes related to the 1995 earthquake in Kobe, due to end in 2015 has been extended until at least 2025 due to this week's tragic events in Japan. Comedy officials warn that jokes...

Tickets for Olympic events featuring Victoria Pendleton sold out already 1
John Wiltshire 3 years

Organisers (to use the term loosely) of the London 2012 Olympics have announced that all tickets for events featuring Victoria Pendleton have already sold out., 'They all seem to have been bought by...

UN designates tracksuit bottoms as an official no-fly zone 0
dicky37 3 years

[More soon]...

Midsomer residents five times more likely to be accused of murder than other 1
the coarse whisperer 3 years

minorities, says report...

Coe says Olympics Countdown malfunction was deliberate. 'It's a stop-watch' 0
pinxit 3 years
Nick Clegg reiterates Cameron policies - it's His Tory repeating 0
simonjmr 3 years
Russia announces winner of 2018 World Cup final - Russia 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin today announced the winner of the 2018 football World Cup final., At a press conference, he said: 'The whole world knows that the decision to hold the 2018...

YOU ARE ALL VICTIMS OF A DRIVE-BY SHOUTING!!!!!!1111 0
bonjonelson 3 years
Daily Telegraph: Leaked emails reveal Osborne plans to nationalise the Internet 0
theumpire 3 years
Triffids on loose after Brian Cox's teeth cause TV viewers to wake up blind 0
pinxit 3 years
Fisherman reels after being presented award of Master Baiter of the year 0
OldThingy 3 years

Just a thin line...

Ex-Blur bassist gets call-up from UN 4
NewSuburbanDad 3 years

Alex James, the cheesemaker, classical musician, newspaper columnist, panel show host, fete opening radio presenting former bassist with Blur confirmed today that he had been approached by the United...

Hampshire Lady says "they're all dry now - ooh! - ooh! -ooh!" 0
OldThingy 3 years

come again?...

Schools "Completely Unprepared" for First Generation of Baby-Einstein's 5
thisisall1word 3 years

The Department of Education has admitted it is not fully prepared for the wave of child geniuses who will be starting primary education this coming September. Infant and primary schools across the...

Police hunt superfast pied piper after drive by fluting 0
dandare70 3 years
Gaddaffi gets carried away and regains Bahrain by mistake 0
Basil_B 3 years
Gene Hackman and Willem Dafoe agree to star in remake of 'Midsomer Burning' 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Journalists in meltdown over Japan tragedy 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

Journalists from all the news media were said to be 'in meltdown' today at the increasing disaster in Japan., A spokesman for the journalists, veteran Ron Codger, said: 'This is the best thing...

Adele splits from boyfriend; Uh-oh, says worried nation 0
Oxbridge 3 years
Coming to ITV soon - Midsomer Shariah Law 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

Following the execution of Brian True-May, ITV has commissioned more of the popular Midsomer series., This will feature a detective called Abu Nuttah, who will find out who has been offending...

Next Guitar Hero game to include 4' 33'' 0
Quincel 3 years

Next Guitar Hero game to include 4' 33''...

Lenny Henry to take on sleuth role in Midsomer Murders 0
Scroat 3 years

"The make up is going to be a challenge as I'll have to white-up for the part," he told Radio Times this week. "And of course the accent's all wrong as nobody in the Home Counties will understand a...