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Due to a high amount of traffic, we're experiencing technical difficulties. 0
simonjmr 3 years

Normal service will resume soon!...

Cameron announces cull of anyone below 6ft to achieve big society 0
Basil_B 3 years
Lizard trained to balance on hind legs becomes world's first stand-up chameleon 1
dicky37 3 years

[More soon]...

Racist organisation advertises for a Uniformity officer 9
ronseal 3 years

Racism could become a victim of its own success, warned one of the key note speakers, at this years annual conference of mutual suspicion, who predicted that prejudice could become such a broad...

New vegetable crisis as broc-coli breaks out in school canteens... 0
be reasonable 3 years

"If I want iron in my diet I'll eat a nail", said 7-year old...

Quality of 'Independent' news coverage 'variable', report scientists. 0
be reasonable 3 years

More soon? It depends...

New strains of E coli alarm scientists 0
FraserWords 3 years

WORRIED scientists today warned that new mutations of the E coli virus are evolving in the wake of the latest outbreak of disease., Experts at the Institute of Communicable Diseases have already...

FA appoint Max Clifford as Chairman 0
Midfield Diamond 3 years

PR guru Max Clifford has accepted the position of Chairman of the English Football Association with immediate effect. A brief statement released by the FA announced the appointment and stated that...

Mladic to be given illustrations to help him recognise war crimes tribunal 0
Steve Wilson 3 years
Serbia and Pakistan through to final of 'International Hide and Seek' 0
Mr Payne 3 years

More soon. If you can find me...

BetFred Goodwin buys Tote for £120bn 0
3 years
Greens blame lack of cats for Black Death 0
Griffin 3 years
Drug committee wants all drugs legalised after massive drugs binge 21
Qoxiivi 3 years

An influential group of leading political and cultural thinkers, including Richard Branson and Kofi Annan, has called for the worldwide legalisation of all drugs after an "epic mash-up" at the Virgin...

Ronald Reagan 'too left wing for modern Republicans'... 0
be reasonable 3 years

"Christ on a bike" says everyone else...

Jewish entrepreneur launches Jewpon 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Two short planks complain about constant comparison to Premiership footballers. 0
be reasonable 3 years
Homeopathic cure for scepticism developed 30 years ago remains untested. 0
be reasonable 3 years
Fewer Parents Calling Their Newborn Son, 'Dave' 1
Jesse Bigg 3 years

"He'll only get called 'twat' in the playground," said one couple...

Aggressive German E.coli a novel bacterial "Master Race". More Soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Queen to acknowledge financial austerity by celebrating diamonique jubilee 0
evilsuperstar 3 years

Buckingham Palace has today announced that the Queen will alter her 60th anniversary celebrations in 2012 to recognise the fragile state of the economy. Following in the footsteps of the Duke and...

Latest On Foreign Secretary Hague's "Lone Tory Medal"....... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

..Presented to him by the leader of Wath-on-Dearne Council, South Yorkshire., Hague occasionally polishes it...

Embarrassment as US ‘Giant Monkey Alarm’ cancelled 56 years after order issued. 0
SingingHinny 3 years

The US secretary of defense announced today that the Giant Monkey Alert has been downgraded to ‘Less likely than Godzilla’ so that the government can concentrate on the threat of global terrorism...

Cameron to attack Spain after two hour launch threat of cucumbers is revealed. 0
Basil_B 3 years
Quick check on Sepp Blatter's address book clearly reveals he knows no shame 0
Basil_B 3 years
BBC news story wins coveted 'Dullest story ever' award 14
Screenie 3 years

The BBC news story 'Three quarters of UK workers half an hour from work' has already been given the dullest news story this millenium award., 'We realise we may have gone a little early with this,'...

Bank robber finds his PPI doesn't cover him for being jailed. 0
greg various 3 years

No house soon...

French supermarkets to negotiate surrender terms with new German E. coli strain 0
Qoxiivi 3 years
"Order 40 McDs burgers with fresh salad" say German extreme sport fanatics 0
thackaray 3 years
Football Internationals in shirt lifting ban 1
Dick Everyman 3 years

FIFA’s executive committee has today announced a series of new regulations governing international matches. One proposal that has now been adopted was submitted by the Federation of Uganda...

“New strain” of E-coli may be aware of irony. 0
SingingHinny 3 years