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Charles applauds Pope’s decision

Prince Charles has commended Pope Benedict for “doing the right thing” and “letting someone younger have a go”. “In all honesty” he added, “the old fool has been batty for a while now...

lane-avenger 11.02.13 3:33pm
'RC United Manager Steps Down'

In a shock announcement today, it's reported that RC United and their talismanic Manager 'Benedict' will part 'by mutual consent'. Many expected 'Benedict' to continue in the top position for the...

Retuner 11.02.13 3:23pm
Horses "never been angrier" according to GALLOP poll 2
lane-avenger 11.02.13 3:19pm
Contest to become new Pope to be shown on Sky Papal View 0
One Line Only 11.02.13 3:04pm
One Line Only
Tube stations playing classical music see sharp rise in porcelain-penis attacks 1
Qoxiivi 11.02.13 2:58pm
They think its comb over, it is now.

A bitter feud between Footballing legends hit the high court today where the family of former Tottenham Hotspurs and England winger Ralph Coates are claiming the rights for the comb over haircut....

godly1966 11.02.13 2:46pm
Vatican deny reports of Blair/Brown Italian restaurant papal succession pact 0
Nowherefast 11.02.13 2:37pm
Pope to be buried

In line with Catholic doctrine, and despite complaints from the Pope's closest advisors that he is in fact alive and well, the Pope will be layed to rest on Friday in a ceremony to be held in Vatican...

barrowboy 11.02.13 2:33pm
Gove criticises modular Popes. They don't have time to learn the subject. 0
Not Amused 11.02.13 2:33pm
Not Amused
Child finds 'horse DNA' in Alphabetti Spaghetti. 0
malgor 11.02.13 2:22pm
Vatican baker's celebrate Pope Benedicts reign with a Pie Jesus 0
simonjmr 11.02.13 2:20pm
Damon Hill to give 2013 fee to charity

Damon hill has vowed to give his fee to charity if he is offered a drive for 2013. Charities are "not getting our hopes up"...

gwalker2805 11.02.13 2:10pm
Pope resigns 'to spend more time with his choirboys' 0
Oxbridge 11.02.13 2:09pm
Findus unveils new product line

In a publicity stunt sure to win the hearts and minds of British consumers, Swedish frozen food firm Findus commandeers Aintree racecourse to launch it's new "Straight from Stable to Table" range. A...

Tirpitz 11.02.13 2:09pm
Pope to spend retirement smoking dope

God couldn't give the Pope the strength to carry on. More soon...

simonjmr 11.02.13 2:09pm
Pedigree Chum Profits Rise Thanks To 60% Beef Content

In a surprise revelation Mark Hamsey, Pedigree Chum’s chief product line manager, announced a 15% rise in profits for the last quarter. Hamsey attributes the increase in profits to the companies...

Johnny Silvers 11.02.13 2:08pm
Johnny Silvers
Brocolli found to be 100% cauliflower

Tests on vegetables have shown some surprising results. Cauliflower being sold as brocolli and carrots continaing fake tan extracts...

gwalker2805 11.02.13 2:04pm
Pope resigns after choirboys found to contain unacceptable levels of meat 4
rickwestwell 11.02.13 1:56pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Horse scandal: demand by FSA to ensure honest labelling may cause bank collapse

Health expert Gillian McKeith explained to ministers the cause of the crisis in the British economy to be the consequence of an identity crisis of the work force. After all "we are what we eat" (and...

4ty2 11.02.13 1:50pm
Pope resigns; "too evil to continue"

Pope Benedict XVI is to resign at the end of this month in an unexpected development, saying he is too evil to continue. "I started in charge of the Spanish Inquisition and went on from there. It's...

apepper 11.02.13 1:45pm
Tony Blair to succeed Pope 0
Dick Everyman 11.02.13 1:27pm
Dick Everyman
Pope in gay marriage shock. 0
godly1966 11.02.13 1:18pm
Martian rock drilling abandoned after Rover loses chuck key.

. (about time we had some more news from Mars I thought)...

Boutros 11.02.13 1:17pm
Rafa Benitez named interim Pope until the end of the season. 0
TheNewsWalrus 11.02.13 1:11pm
KFC unexpectedly withdraw 'Rat Zinger' 0
Midnight Dreary 11.02.13 1:08pm
Midnight Dreary
Pope to join Balotelli at AC Milan ... 0
Kramaring 11.02.13 1:05pm
Former Hitler Youth member deserts for a second time. 0
MADJEZ 11.02.13 1:01pm
Bears no longer certain about permissibility of shitting in woods. 0
wallster 11.02.13 12:44pm
That resignation in full

But everyone was at it in those days! How old!? She told me she was twenty seven! I resign...

lane-avenger 11.02.13 12:44pm
E-cigarettes lack 'glamour of death wish' claim tobacco companies

Smokers who use electronic cigarettes are missing out on the real enjoyment of smoking - 'the glamour of the death wish', according to tobacco companies. 'There is no tobacco tar in e-cigarettes,'...

roybland 11.02.13 12:13pm