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NB Reveals Conspiracy To Cover Up Kidnap Of Royal Baby By Somali Pirates

You read it here first, folks...

Titus 18.07.13 3:44pm
Channel 4 'delighted' as One Born Every Minute wins Royal birth exclusive

Channel 4 were excited to announce today that it's hugely popular show One Born Every Minute has fought off tough competition from the likes of Hello and OK magazines to win the world exclusive...

Jesus H 18.07.13 2:52pm
Josie Maureen E Oh playing mind games with Wayne Rooney.

it's like MENSA playing against the special needs unit...

irreverendJ 18.07.13 2:49pm
Bigots Demand Equal Rights 0
Titus 18.07.13 2:36pm
Top ten things you didn't know about hot weather

1. It's hotter than the norm, 2please add nauseum...

irreverendJ 18.07.13 1:59pm
Alastair Cook drops Queen from England cricket team 0
custard cream 18.07.13 1:55pm
custard cream
'Special measures' in place for St Mary's Hospital in Paddington 0
custard cream 18.07.13 1:53pm
custard cream
NHS Managers Admit Baby Arrived OK But They Mislaid It

"It's not our fault" said a spokesman for the hospital managers "There's so many of them and they all look the same. And, let's face it, babies are quite small so it's easy to put one down and...

Titus 18.07.13 1:53pm
Rooney move off as he is unable to submit a written transfer request 0
custard cream 18.07.13 1:48pm
custard cream
Lib Dem voter agrees to wear ‘hair shirt’

In an act of contrition a Mr. N.Kendall has agreed to undergo a series of medieval tasks to make amends for the disappointment that is Nick Clegg. Having loyally voted for the Lib Dems in numerous...

Wrenfoe 18.07.13 12:54pm
Family tradition 'to be upheld' if baby isn't a boy, confirm Royal Family 0
Jesus H 18.07.13 12:50pm
Jesus H
Big nose horn faced dinosaur discovered in the Conservative party

UK commentators have challeneged claims by scientists in Utah to have discovered a new breed of dinosaur, the imaginatively named 'Big nose horn faced dinosaur'. "This is not a new breed" a...

sillybugger 18.07.13 12:40pm
Pink or Blue? Delay Leaves Asian Teddy-Bear Factories Verging On Bankruptcy 1
Titus 18.07.13 12:31pm
Fewer Criminals Arrested Following Reduction In Police Numbers

"Wahey!" said a spokesman for the Poice Federation "That means crime must have reduced er um doesn't it?"...

Titus 18.07.13 12:23pm
Call For No-Fly Zone

Never mind Syria - do you reckon NATO or the RAF could get rid of the flies round my home?...

Titus 18.07.13 12:15pm
Crime detection getting easier says Daily Mail. 0
MADJEZ 18.07.13 12:10pm
Blacks in Florida to be given right to bear grudges 9
sydalg 18.07.13 12:03pm
Crime stats down, claims PR man for useless, corrupt, untrustable police force 1
ronseal 18.07.13 12:02pm
Cricket: England win toss and elect to lose 0
John Wiltshire 18.07.13 11:56am
John Wiltshire
Homeopath, surprisingly, refuses to put life savings on 1000,000-to-1 horse 2
sydalg 18.07.13 11:50am
Cat struggles to keep up insurance payments on nine policies 2
sydalg 18.07.13 11:45am
UK butterflies at all-time low

Optimism amongst UK moths and butterflies is at an all-time low, according to a poll by IPSOS Mori. Lepidoptera across the country were asked for their views on living in Britain and the future for...

monkeyrepublic 18.07.13 11:25am
Queen orders Kate to give birth immediately

In a leaked message today, it has emerged that the Queen has commanded Kate to give birth to something by the end of today. Her Majesty's message to Kate reads: 'As sovereign of the Commonwealth and...

John Wiltshire 18.07.13 10:58am
John Wiltshire
Al Fayed claims Prince Philip behind royal baby. 0
MADJEZ 18.07.13 10:36am
Crime reporting down 7.8%

The Home Secretary today announced that the reporting of crime had dropped by 7.8% in the last year. Theresa May said today that she was very pleased with the way that people had stopped reporting...

John Wiltshire 18.07.13 9:56am
John Wiltshire
Vulnerable loser to be Alan Sugar's next opponent in Employment Tribunal

A handpicked sample of Britain' most unsavoury characters was finally distilled down last night, and one hapless victim was chosen to be Alan Sugar's next opponent in an employment tribunal. BBC1's...

ronseal 18.07.13 9:35am
'Lazy & Incompetent' Thieves Blamed For Fall In Crime 1
Titus 18.07.13 9:11am
Audi deny their logo is based on cock rings

Yes it was one on those journey's into work...

Scronnyglonkle 18.07.13 8:35am
Dick Everyman
Government to set Up 'Offded' to Monitor NHS Quality Standards 0
Titus 18.07.13 8:23am
Nelson Madela Accused Of Bed Blocking

"Stop wasting our time" says hospital. "You're a great bloke and all that, but enough is enough. Either die or get out."...

Titus 18.07.13 7:46am