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83-year-old woman “unimpressed” with ‘what they can do nowadays’ 9
Qoxiivi 3 years

The entire IT sector has been thrown into crisis after Irene Elcombe, a pensioner from East Cowes on the Isle of Wight, expressed her distinct indifference at over 40 years of exponential...

Vorderman wins 'rear of the year'. 1
be reasonable 3 years

Giggs wins 'arse of the year"...

Matt Prior handed reprimand, which he then threw out the window 3
brownpaperreporter 3 years
Ass takes out injunction banning comparisons with 'the law'. 2
Ironduke 3 years
Doctors call Europe's eColi outbreak "Great Bowel Shift" 3
rikkor 3 years
US reveals Al Quaida cone plot. 17
LostLad 3 years

US sources say today that information gathered from the Abbottabad hidehout of Osama Bin Laden shows that Al Quaida were in the advanced planning stages of a plot to economically cripple the UK by...

Newsagents organise Smutwalk in protest against internet porn : REWORK 3
simonjmr 3 years

UK Newsagents are facing financial ruin, due to free porn that is widely available on the internet. Over the last 12 years sales of over the counter grot and jazz mags have declined due to the growth...

eColi outbreak finally pinned to rimming in German Scheiße movies. 11
SingingHinny 3 years
"Big Society" Volunteers Admit.... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

.'Just taking the piss out of the unemployed.'...

Cameron All Set For Another Holiday Break?.... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

."Don't forget your flip-flops, darling," says the wife...

Disappointed Olympics fans get tickets to Bahrain Grand Prix instead. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Guide dogs for blind guide dogs initiative ‘still waiting for green light’. 1
SingingHinny 3 years

A radical programme aimed at getting blind guide dogs back into work is facing further delays after bumping into the rearranged living room of government cuts. Under the current guidelines, many...

Prince Harry caught using reverse trichology in bid to resemble Charles 3
pere floza 3 years
Olympic Beach Volleyball to be shown in 3D after 9 pm 4
John Wiltshire 3 years

The organisers of the 2012 Olympics have announced that they will be showing Beach Volleyball in 3D after the 9 o'clock watershed, with commentary by Andy Gray and Richard Keys. 'This will take the...

Keiren Fallon faces ban probe after entering village Gymkhana 1
3 years

Keiren Fallon, the controversial jockey who was recently banned from riding in the Derby, is facing claims that he instead entered a village Gymkhana. Records confirm that an 11 year-old girl called...

Psychic claims bodies buried in and around satirical website and in graveyards 1
simonjmr 3 years
Prison term shelved - schools to revert to Summer term - teachers "gutted" 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years
Muse charged with indecent assault after touching Penge Poetry Society member 2
pinxit 3 years
Apple to launch Bob Marley limited edition i-Rieman soon... 0
Iamthestig 3 years
Saggy Ring unfortunate anagram for Ryan Giggs 0
Dick Everyman 3 years
Toddler found in Gobi Desert 0
Dick Everyman 3 years

I thought this was something off Come Dine With Me at first http://news.uk.msn.com/world/articles.aspx?cp-documentid=157869149...

Government sentencing plans in disarray, too many verbs not enough nouns. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

Soon; more "?...

Delays expected as Olympic torch bearers told to offer a light to smokers. 0
SingingHinny 3 years
Government OAP Anti-obesity Policy Declared a Success 0
LizzyG 3 years

David Cameron was said to be thrilled with reports that pensioners on low incomes are choosing to cut back on food to pay fuel bills., "Our policy of keeping pensions low as food and fuel bills...

Doctors unable to medicate as Zippy and George lose their voice. 0
Mr Payne 3 years

Bungle 'inconsolable'....

Everyone: 'I always knew Giggs was a cheat but I decided not to say anything' 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

Every journalist has now admitted they knew all along that Ryan Giggs was a love cheat, but they all decided not to say anything at the time until everyone else knew. Said Bill Williams, the Daily...

Ryan Giggs found to be responsible for all the evil in the world 0
John Wiltshire 3 years
Minister rapped over rapeseed remarks 0
Dick Everyman 3 years

Jim Paice MP, Minister of State for Agriculture and Food has declined to apologise after he appeared to suggest that some rapeseeds were better than others. It followed a BBC interview about...

New National Crime Agency ‘first step in Lords reform’ says Clegg 1
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Tories to u-turn on General Election victory. 2
SingingHinny 3 years