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Footballer sacked for 'only giving 100%'

In what many are calling a landmark case, former Chelsea star Ivan Shirkov has lost his FA appeal against his sacking earlier this month. Appeal Chairman, Lord Jenkins explained, "This was a complex...

1
custard cream 14.12.12 3:49pm
Squudge
Coroner: 'inability to open milk cartons' link to Tetra Pak heiress death

acmdsofijudsf...

0
custard cream 14.12.12 3:35pm
custard cream
EC hands Serbia one fixture ban and small fine for starting World War 1

After assassinating ArchDuke Ferdinand, Serbian officials have admitted they were quietly pleased with the lenient sentence handed out by the EC for their role in what observers dubbed The Great War....

4
ronseal 14.12.12 3:33pm
Squudge
Anne Hathaway 'devastated' as she inadvertently exposes her box

[url=http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/12/12/article-2246848-167B5F36000005DC-950_634x951.jpg]Box[/url]...

1
medici2471 14.12.12 3:31pm
Squudge
Barcode inventor dies aged 'thin,fat, thin, thin, very thin, medium, fat...."

That's 91 to you and me...

3
custard cream 14.12.12 3:28pm
Squudge
Arms maker says '50 Shades' responsible for huge profit spurt

A British military equipment manufacturer has reported a 'stunning upturn and spurt' in the run up to Christmas, thanks to the book '50 Shades of Grey'. Screech & Matlock Ltd, who have made...

0
pinxit 14.12.12 2:26pm
pinxit
Watch your back Harry..

The recent blossoming relationship between Harry Styles and Taylor Swift has been likened to John Lennon and Yoko Ono. He's in a band, she threatens to break up the band. I'm looking forward to the...

1
Sheepback 14.12.12 1:58pm
Dick Everyman
Relocation of NewsBiscuit website to Isle of Wight 'Successful'

Management of the NewsBiscuit.com website are said to be 'Delighted' that its relocation to the Isle of Wight has 'Gone as smoothly as expected' and that 'The Isle has never seen such a reliable and...

12
antharrison 14.12.12 12:42pm
Sinnick
retrospective Turing pardon imminent but witch convictions to stand 2
cinquecento 14.12.12 12:37pm
cinquecento
New cycle helmet vital to Le Tour Yorkshire debut

Designers at Leeds Metropolitan University have revealed their secret weapon in the region's successful bid for the 2014 Tour de France Grand Depart. "It's a revolutionary new cycle helmet in the...

1
custard cream 14.12.12 12:23pm
Dick Everyman
Apple retro fits old iPads with 'cataract display' to encourage users to switch 2
custard cream 14.12.12 11:50am
Bourbon
Film about small man controlled by wizard tops charts. See "The Cleggit" today.

I'll get my coat...

2
Gaz 14.12.12 11:46am
custard cream
World’s last ‘Trimphone impersonator’ dies, aged 97

Jim Hughes, the last person known to be able to accurately impersonate a 1970s Trimphone, has died at a nursing home in Cheshunt. ‘It was a big part of his life,’ said Jim’s nephew, Philip...

16
DustyBinLaden 14.12.12 11:33am
Squudge
Drunk office workers 'a real hit' at corporate entertainers' Xmas party

The first Christmas party solely for the singers and entertainers that make a living performing in tribute acts for corporate parties and balls was declared a "resounding success" by organisers, as...

3
Re Pete 14.12.12 10:02am
Re Pete
New blow to Scottish Independence as EU invoke "no gingers" rule

Alex Salmond has yet to react to a new setback for his campaign for Scottish Independence. The EU has already made it clear that Scotland would have to reapply for membership, but now an obscure "no...

0
apepper 14.12.12 9:31am
apepper
Ricky ‘Hitman’ Hatton to take up top-flight test cricket

Ricky Hatton has astounded the sporting world today with his decision to become a world class cricketer in under four months. The former boxer says his surprise switch to International Test Cricket...

10
Gary Stanton 14.12.12 8:57am
Gary Stanton
West Bank Caravan Club looking forward to annual rally 0
cinquecento 14.12.12 8:38am
cinquecento
NHS to move all missed appointments to Mondays. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 14.12.12 7:48am
Al OPecia
Angel Garcia top of the tree

Team Molina have secured the services of top trainer Angel Garcia – father of WBC strap holder Danny Garcia - ahead of Saturday's festive feud. Although Garcia appears to be in the corner only as...

1
won hung lo 14.12.12 7:30am
Bourbon
Ed Milliband quits as people with irritating accents banned from public office. 0
PeterB 14.12.12 7:06am
PeterB
Disillusioned teen wakes up to the ugly side of vampirism

Thoughts of eternal bliss in the company of vampire heart-throb Robert Pattinson and the ethereal Kristen Stewart swam through her head when 16 year old Trudy Bellamy took her vampire oath at the...

4
Dick Everyman 14.12.12 12:28am
Psycadelic Squirrel
Poetic tribute to Norman Joseph Woodland doesn't scan 2
Idiot 14.12.12 12:19am
Idiot
Mean FAB1 chauffeur, Parker, arrested on charges of Penny pinching

I'll get my coat...

0
Smart Alex 13.12.12 10:49pm
Smart Alex
Diagnosis : HMV negative.

Probably no more soon...

0
MADJEZ 13.12.12 10:17pm
MADJEZ
African Newspapers taken in by Nick Clegg Deputy PM hoax

Several online newspapers in Africa have carried stories from satirical website Newsbiscuit reporting that Prime Minister David Cameron is aided in government by a deputy named Nick Clegg. The...

4
TerribleTim 13.12.12 9:58pm
TerribleTim
Man breaks all his teeth in ‘bronze turkey’ confusion. 0
malgor 13.12.12 8:50pm
malgor
Turkey commandos steal Bernard Matthews' ashes in daring raid

A small rafter of specially trained turkeys from the 'crack' 1st Norfolk Division has completed a daring pre-Christmas attack on the former home of Bernard Matthews, and have stolen his cremated...

1
antharrison 13.12.12 8:31pm
custard cream
Newspapers campaign for "Savile's Law" - Identify all Celebrities in your area

Newspapers were today campaigning for a "Savile's Law" to be introduced in a bid for parents to be aware of al Celebrities that live in their area. A mother said "If there's a celebrity living near...

13
toastnotghosts 13.12.12 8:25pm
DustyBinLaden
Popular satirical news website keeps crashing due to faulty comic relief valve

Hopefully no more soon Neato...

3
Psycadelic Squirrel 13.12.12 8:12pm
antharrison
Pubs to adopt new ‘England flag’ classification...

Real ale aficionados turn to the pages of the [i]Good Beer Guide[/i]. But how can you tell what sort of ambience you’ll find in a pub you haven’t visited before? Well, wonder no more. The...

1
Tripod 13.12.12 7:24pm
custard cream