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All Syrian cities to be given shell-by date 5
sydalg 09.11.13 9:30am
julio bango
Pensioners urged to form their own political parties to avoid fuel bills.

Up to 2 million new political parties are due to be formed this winter in a bold bid by pensioners to become elected and legally avoid paying excessive fuel bills. With the retirement age due to...

3
julio bango 09.11.13 9:13am
julio bango
Clare Balding Leads in Celebrity Movember Challenge

The race for Britain's top celebrity moustache was wide open this morning, with Clare Balding leading with her George V-style moustache. Balding has won "Celebrity Tattoo of the Year" every year...

26
deceangli 09.11.13 9:05am
Loundshay
Iran Compromises On Nuclear Bomb: Agrees To Use It 'Only Just A Little Bit'. 4
Titus 08.11.13 11:49pm
Titus
Arab punches man for saying Arabs are violent 0
Dumbnews 08.11.13 11:00pm
Dumbnews
Biography reveals Old King Cole to have been a right miserable bastard 0
irreverendJ 08.11.13 10:46pm
irreverendJ
Marine's "You've Been Framed!" hopes dashed. More soon. 1
Al OPecia 08.11.13 10:46pm
deceangli
Hirsuite owner of semitic countryside animal visits rabbi; gets his hare cut

More contrived news soon...

0
Smart Alex 08.11.13 5:29pm
Smart Alex
Zsa Zsa Gabor Suspect 'broke order up to 3 times before'

The suspect under police surveillance who escaped through the back door of a bakers in Keighly, West Yorkshire has broken the order restricting his movement up to 3 times before it has been revealed...

0
deadstarter 08.11.13 4:42pm
deadstarter
Lack of badgers in John Lewis Christmas advert being investigated 0
custard cream 08.11.13 3:22pm
custard cream
Canada has two national flags; accused of double standards

More to follow...

1
apepper 08.11.13 3:17pm
Titus
John Lewis Bear massacres cute woodland creatures.

Someone to tidy & improve please. RSPCA & DEFRA staff have been called out after filming of a much anticipated department store Christmas advert went horribly wrong. The bear featured in...

0
miked10270 08.11.13 10:30am
miked10270
Alcohol testing 'Should take place at work'

I'll drink to that!...

0
vanhellsink 08.11.13 10:28am
vanhellsink
Tesco face-scanners criticised for 'brutal honesty and lack of tact' - 2

Tesco is facing heavy scrutiny today after several of its new 'face-scanners' were accused of delivering 'unnecessary and offensive' suggestions to shoppers, with one woman being advised to 'add more...

36
Jesus H 08.11.13 9:03am
Sinnick
"Secrets must become more secret" says Secret Service chiefs 0
nickb 08.11.13 8:52am
nickb
Sous-Chef Faces Legal Proceedings 1
Iggy Pop-Barker 08.11.13 8:45am
jimmydodger
Shocking YouTube video features someone doing nothing shocking 0
Dumbnews 08.11.13 12:56am
Dumbnews
IQ accurately measured by quick analysis of person's facebook usage 0
Dumbnews 07.11.13 11:02pm
Dumbnews
Polonius killed "by arras chap" 0
nickb 07.11.13 10:24pm
nickb
Human genome turns out to be Big Ears 2
nickb 07.11.13 10:15pm
medici2471
Pakistan Taliban name new drone target 3
medici2471 07.11.13 9:23pm
Dick Everyman
Prime Minister smoked crack-cocaine in Downing Street

Reports are circulating that David Cameron smoked crack cocaine at a late-night Downing Street meeting organized by his Aussie spin doctor, Lynton Crosby, to "put some HS2 fire in the Cameroon belly"...

0
Starchy 07.11.13 8:18pm
Starchy
Woman tries to sell baby in Airport toilet

Or,as it is known in the trade: a bog standard deal...

0
vanhellsink 07.11.13 8:17pm
vanhellsink
Kettle of fish doesn't want to be different any more

Tearful cauldron hits back after years of prejudice. Pot refuses to be drawn in, as he's already facing a charge of racial discrimination...

8
Landfill 07.11.13 8:07pm
Jesus H
Lord Vader To Be Stripped of Peerage Following Alderaan Incident 0
deceangli 07.11.13 7:35pm
deceangli
Boris Johnson to star in X Men sequel as "Flaxen"

pictures at 1...

1
blokefromstoke 07.11.13 7:32pm
deceangli
Brazil to clear browsing history

President Dilma Rousseff has been forced to call off a state visit to Washington, delete her 'special' hard drive and adopt a 'false moustache' to evade a barrage of US espionage. There is growing...

4
Wrenfoe 07.11.13 7:19pm
deceangli
Jar Jar Binks convicted of murdering millions of middle-aged men’s childhoods

After a grueling wait of nearly fourteen years, Jar Jar Binks has finally been brought to justice over the savage slaughter of millions of middle-aged men’s childhoods. He is set to serve...

0
TobiasBV 07.11.13 5:25pm
TobiasBV
Ssssh it's a secret as heads of C&A, BHS and M&S meet to discuss war on fashion. 0
irreverendJ 07.11.13 5:18pm
irreverendJ
ECB bowled over as interest plummets prior to Ashes Test series

The English Cricket Board compared today's news of a massive decline in interest in English cricket to being struck on 'the Crown jewels' by a fast ball from Jimmy Anderson. It was announced today...

2
cinnahmon 07.11.13 5:14pm
Dick Everyman