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FOR SALE - silver tabby 'Gorgeous George'

Surly disposition, but can be enticed with saucers of cream and crude oil. May need to be microchipped due to tendency to stray. Loving ethnic enclave sought. (Canadians need not apply)...

woodymellor 11.04.12 2:04pm
Ken Barlow sues William Roache for defamation of character

Still smarting from William Roache’s revelation that he slept with over 1,000 woman, Ken Barlow has counter-attacked by suing for defamation of character. Documents filed last week in the...

Yikes 11.04.12 1:52pm
'It's trading standards gone mad' say football clubs forced to change names

There has been widespread consternation among football clubs up and down the country, following the news that trading standards officers have forced Chelsea FC to change their name to Fulham FC...

Oxbridge 12.04.12 7:05pm
Retraction: Facebook Have Bought Out Instagram, Not Islam As Originally Reported 1
Textbook 11.04.12 10:38am
Depressive Batman dons his futility belt 1
cinquecento 11.04.12 10:01am
"It is what it is" Spanish lessons reduced to just saying S O C K S 0
simonjmr 11.04.12 9:43am
Electronic polling booths to use predictive text algorithms

The Electoral Commission today has announced that from 2014 polling stations across the UK will start using "electronic" polling booths. The May 2014 local elections will be the first to use the...

simonjmr 11.04.12 4:09pm
Vinnie Jones CPR TV commercial ‘grabs viewers by the balls’ 0
Duncan Biscuit 11.04.12 8:36am
Duncan Biscuit
Missile launch thwarted after North Korean tanker drivers strike 0
Duncan Biscuit 11.04.12 8:36am
Duncan Biscuit
Children in care numbers rise as parents become more aware of the option 0
Duncan Biscuit 11.04.12 8:35am
Duncan Biscuit
War widow convinced ‘time now right’ to rejoin Doncaster swinging scene

War Widow, Penny Swinton, whose husband Mark died tragically in the Afghan conflict, feels her decision to to recommence the hi-octane swinging lifestyle the couple once enjoyed together would have...

Gary Stanton 15.04.12 1:34pm
Samantha Brick extradited to France for inciting hate crimes against herself 1
Scronnyglonkle 11.04.12 9:27am
Parents joy as court rules Zhu Zhu Hamsters can be extradited to US. 0
MADJEZ 11.04.12 7:14am
Osborne admits "I do talk total bollocks pretty much all the time"

Tantamount to an admission of guilt...

Scroat 11.04.12 9:59am
PM "Shocked" to find George Osborne is Chancellor

Prime Minister, David Cameron said he was "shocked" to discover that George Osborne is Chancellor of the Exchequer. "I thought he was a chum from school on a visit, I had no idea he had an official...

apepper 11.04.12 6:36am
Judges back ‘napkin gang’ extradition

A man who stole paper napkins from a branch of KFC in [url=]Tipton[/url] is to be extradited to the US to face criminal charges and could...

St.Cecilia 12.04.12 6:56pm
Straw Poll Suggests...

Straw Poll Suggests Eastern European Remakes of Worzel Gummidge Can Be Successfully Renamed...

Chindle 11.04.12 5:59am
Kim Jong Un declares historic and unprecedented 'pasty tax' victory!

In a (yawningly) amazing ststement, North Korea have stunningly claimed a monumental victory over Britain's Posh Millionaire David Cameron. Best leader in the world ever, ever, ever Kim Jong Ungry...

Imaginary Monster or am I 11.04.12 2:33am
Imaginary Monster or am I
New Ferrari criticized for being too affordable 0
Dumbnews 10.04.12 9:16pm
Ecclestone Found After 'Losing Moral Compass in Desert' Scare

Formula One supremo Bernie Ecclestone has been found 'wandering around the desert' after a full-scale search was launched for the missing billionaire in Bahrain. Ecclestone was driving alone in the...

pinxit 10.04.12 8:34pm
Enid Blyton to print 'Five get extradited to US' and 'Five get a life sentence' 0
Mandy Lifeboat 10.04.12 7:04pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Osborne 'shock' that rich have more money 0
Mrs Olly Murs 10.04.12 5:57pm
Mrs Olly Murs
Millionaire tax avoiders 'shock' chancellor

The Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osborne, has said he is "shocked" that some of the UK's richest people have organised their finances so that they pay virtually no income tax. Mr Osborne...

Mick99 10.04.12 4:58pm
Helmand alarm as marine opens grenade box to find it full of chocolate eggs 0
pinxit 10.04.12 4:03pm
Mule admonished for being as stubborn as a man 0
Dumbnews 10.04.12 4:01pm
Jealous mountaineers confused by feelings of shardenfreude 0
nickb 10.04.12 2:56pm
Enormous metaphor sunk by the tip of a synecdoche. 2
Lemon difficult 10.04.12 2:53pm
Lemon difficult
British Airways says Abu Hamza must have blunt plastic hooks to board plane

With appolgies to Dominic_Mcg...

Scronnyglonkle 10.04.12 2:33pm
Rangers relaunches as Glasgow's Islamic Football Team

Glasgow Rangers have successfully come out of administration today having been bought by a Middle Eastern Oil Company. Dubai Oil Services or DubaiOS as it is also known, today overcame its final...

Scronnyglonkle 10.04.12 2:27pm
"Good job none of us woke up"

say 1000 women Bill Roache allegedly slept with...

Bismarck 10.04.12 2:04pm