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Vince Cable admits "my head hurts" 0
Waggys Dog 3 years

Coalition Business Secretary Vince Cable has admitted he does not know the difference between a pledge to voters, and a promise to Nick Clegg and David Cameron to support tuition fee rises - and the...

Compulsory Snoods to be Trialled in Yorkshire Sunday League 0
De-scribe 3 years
Business Card Draw in Corruption Scandal 0
MC One R 3 years

The monthly business card draw at The Lamb & Ferret gastropub today erupted in accusations of corruption, as allegations of bribery were made against landlord Tony Inchpractice. The allegations...

Snowfall 'The Size of Wales' Falls on Wales 2
De-scribe 3 years
Student protesters kettle themselves to keep warm. 2
Erlang 3 years

The Police put the kettle on and we intended to take the kettle off but we put it on again to keep warm said student protester Sukey. A Police spokesman expressed relief the students' tribute to...

EU to look up on Google. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
'Put More Shit on Your Dashboard' Government Tells White Van Man 1
De-scribe 3 years

New Regulations come into force today aimed at boosting the economy by increasing the level of rubbish that must be displayed in the front windows of all commercial vans. The Dashboard Detritus...

Wikileeks to publish 250,000 internal documents from the Welsh Assembly 7
bonjonelson 3 years

[more soon]...

Public health role for councils to begin with fortnightly collection of the sick 3
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Queen buys HMS Invincible as Xmas pressy for Prince Andrew 0
A Crooked MP 3 years

Palace reports indicate that the Queen was "not amused" about the colonials having a pop at beloved child. Hopefully Andrew can use the carrier to launch pre emptive strikes on importunate diplomats...

Fresh violence at student protest. Police claim balls of frozen water thrown. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Weathermen accuse newsreaders of stealing their 'big snow stories'. 0
J-Bird 3 years

More on this soon as the snowballs begin to fly...

Drop in numbers of unemployed small people and transvestites a seasonal blip. 0
Ian Searle 3 years

Oh yes it is!!!...

Concerns as Kim Jong-Il plans "biggest ever firework display" for New Years Eve. 0
Ian Searle 3 years
World War 3 on the cards as Wikileaks reveals US Christmas list 0
ianslat 3 years

The world's military was put on standby earlier today following revelations regarding the US's planned Christmas purchasing policy published on Wikileaks. The crisis reached a head earlier today...

Falling birth-rate hits Johnson’s Baby Oil production 5
crlncxn 3 years

Newly-released UK census figures show a strong slowdown in the birth-rate, giving rise to speculation that families anticipated hard times by having fewer children., "It’s a complete disaster for...

Cabinet to appoint 'designated scapegoat' for the Christmas Period. 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Electrician’s Picassos were from his 'blue, brown, green / yellow period'. 0
malgor 3 years
Price of Ginger Bread Houses falls for the second consecutive Christmas. 0
Ian Searle 3 years

According to a report from Estate Agents Hansel and Gretal...

Daily Mail asks, "St Andrew, is he worth his salt?" 0
Ian Searle 3 years

And what made St Joan such a bright spark?...

Duty to increase on High strength Beer.... 0
Bismarck 3 years

There are fears of a mass exodus to the north by thousands of alcoholics following the Treasury announcement duty would fall on low strength beers...

Picasso Electrician trades in for a Berlingo Multispace 0
Iamthestig 3 years
Cable "In a democracy I have the right not to represent my constituents" 0
Bismarck 3 years

Vince Cable has confirmed that he is sticking by his pledge to abstain from any vote on tuition fees. 2the issue isn't whether I vote" he said "but whether I believe tuition fees should rise." he...

After a long hard winter is on the cards foreign owned power companies 0
arrghgarry 3 years

vow to do the best they can...

Young Japanese Future Empress asks did great grand dad really hang with 0
arrghgarry 3 years
Fresh Snowfall Duvets the Home Counties 0
De-scribe 3 years
Artist's mother says "He's not an enfant terrible, just a very naughty boy". 0
riesler 3 years
FIFA scandal, parents accepted bribes to let son play on Xbox. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

Officials are investigating allegations that parents took bribes in order to secure the venue for recent FIFA 2011 matches. Eleven year old Oli Jones promised to tidy his room and help with the...

Internetee buys online University so he can call himself professor 0
arrghgarry 3 years
Councils switch to spreading snow 2
Erlang 3 years

In a shock reversal many councils today began to spread snow instead of the more traditional salt and grit. Council spokesmen justified their actions that it was more abundant right now, and it...