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Environment Agency to divert Thames down the Chunnel

In a move of breathtaking brilliance, the Community Secretary Eric Pickles today put down his pie and announced the initiative to save the Thames Valley from further flood damage. 'The Environment...

7
Squudge 23.02.14 10:23am
Crying Out Loud
Irish rugby player admits “You can’t win a maul”... 4
Tripod 23.02.14 9:48am
Tripod
The hills no longer alive with the sound of music. 0
irreverendJ 23.02.14 9:38am
irreverendJ
Long Awaited New U2 Album “Pay Your Share” To Be Released in April

In a surprise joint media conference in New York on Friday, activist Irish rock icon Bono and IRS chief John Koskinen announced U2’s latest release, timed to co-incide with the U.S. tax season....

0
Kinch 23.02.14 8:52am
Kinch
College of cardinals to be replaced by College of rationals

more number-related jokes soon...

0
Smart Alex 23.02.14 5:53am
Smart Alex
Schumacher still overqualified for job of wrestling commentator 0
sydalg 23.02.14 12:40am
sydalg
Scottish independence spreads to Ukraine as Tam O'Shanter takes over. 0
Maverick 22.02.14 11:18pm
Maverick
Technical Tips: how to install new cardinals

are your existing pontiffs looking a little tarnished? stubborn stains that refuse to go away? performance falling to less than the standards expected?, Time then to bring in some new shiny cassocks...

3
Robert Koch 22.02.14 10:31pm
Sinnick
Tymoshenko rushed out of prison for emergency hairdressing. 0
Electrelane 22.02.14 9:01pm
Electrelane
Brooks denies being a redhead, but admits to intimate ginger moments 8
Squudge 22.02.14 8:17pm
Squudge
Yanukovich not resigned "Just dictating from home."

Key to presidential palace under the mat. Bins go out on Tuesday. Sweep dissident treasonous scum out of main square Wednesdays and Fridays. More at 1...

2
blokefromstoke 22.02.14 7:37pm
AReader
Mexican drug lord Shorty Guzman looking forward to a long stretch. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 22.02.14 7:23pm
dominic_mcg
When they said ‘used car’ I thought they meant ‘used by Jimmy Carr’ jokes Moyles 0
farmer giles 22.02.14 7:10pm
farmer giles
Princess Anne insists all new housing must be built on Royal Estates.

Thought not...

0
FOAD 22.02.14 7:02pm
FOAD
Journalist who hacked phone says that he broke it in the process 0
Underconstruction 22.02.14 6:34pm
Underconstruction
Brooks "We had evidence Hugh Grant could launch within 45 seconds" 0
Ref Minor 22.02.14 6:26pm
Ref Minor
Royal Family Drafts Mary Berry in as replacement for Queen Mum

National treasure, Mary Berry, is said to be delighted today following an announcement by Buckingham Place that she is to be drafted into the Royal Family as a replacement for the Queen Mum. "Mary...

0
Duff 22.02.14 6:06pm
Duff
Customer suffers burns in "bottomless coffee" misunderstanding. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 22.02.14 5:39pm
dominic_mcg
Man admits how he replenished his wine cellar was 'add Hock' 0
Smart Alex 22.02.14 4:45pm
Smart Alex
Government 'gone'

The coalition government has disappeared, according to reports. Downing Street is reported to be deserted and Whitehall offices abandoned. 'The coalition government has gone,' tweeted one observer....

6
roybland 22.02.14 3:40pm
Not Amused
Senior journalist warns that supply of flood-related cliches is drying up 0
Underconstruction 22.02.14 12:47pm
Underconstruction
Whatsapp sold for £11 billion LOL 0
Underconstruction 22.02.14 12:35pm
Underconstruction
Severe setback for Brooks as new evidence emerges

The case for the defence of Rebekah Brooks was dealt a severe blow today as sensational new evidence emerged. A former editor of a rival tabloid, identified only by the code name "Deer's Organs"...

0
GingerClive 22.02.14 10:16am
GingerClive
Clegg suggests a coalition in Ukraine and offers help.

more later...

0
virtuallywill 22.02.14 10:05am
virtuallywill
Judge tells Moyles, "Get a job" 0
GingerClive 22.02.14 9:49am
GingerClive
Blair to Brooks - 'Smoke some crack, it's going to get tough' 1
Electrelane 22.02.14 9:47am
GingerClive
"Civil War Poker" breaks out somewhere East

A frightening new game of "Civil War Poker" has broken out in eastern nations and experts warn it is threatening to spiral out of control., After an innocuous start with a shouting match in...

4
GingerClive 22.02.14 9:44am
GingerClive
BBC4 Screens European Police Dramas with a Plot

“Wots all this stuff wiv no shootings, fire bombs and car chases”, said channel hopping Darren Chav from the Woolwich Towers Housing Estate. “I’s all in foreign an it got writing on the...

2
Guillermo De Snookio 22.02.14 6:07am
Lens Cap
11 car pile up on M25 officially designated a "Brooksie"

More Ginger Japes at 1...

0
blokefromstoke 22.02.14 12:14am
blokefromstoke
Cardinal Wolsey charged with treason - More soon 3
sydalg 21.02.14 11:06pm
Electrelane