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Intelligence service fears that Round Robin writers may develop Twitter capacity 5
ronseal 3 years

Christmas Round Robin writers may have learned mass demoralisation techniques that can be deployed any time of the year, security chiefs have warned. Reports are emerging of a new generation of...

Paul McCartney Confesses to Bloodlust Orgies. 0
arthurminnit 3 years

In a shock interview with the One Show, former veggie and tripod lover, Sir Paul (97), admitted to crazed and depraved afternoon orgies of eating meat flavoured crisps., "Smoky bacon, beef and onion...

Thousands of revellers took the the streets for New Year, reveals news story 0
ronseal 3 years

It was the event that nobody could have predicted. Thousands of people in Britain took to the streets to celebrate New Year, according to the BBC, which led with this story on its main news channel....

Jeremy Clarkson fires his gynaecologist 0
nickb 3 years
Parents given blades in an attempt to 'slash' knife crime 2
Perks 3 years

Metropolitan Police have today confirmed they are going to look at arming parents with blades in a last gasp effort to cut knife crime. The pilot scheme will be using the well known principle of...

Jesus Excited About New Solo Project After Splitting From Christianity 2
SimonJJames 3 years

After his recent split from Christianity Jesus gave his first press conference today confirming that he is going solo. Sat with PR representative Max Clifford, Jesus sported a new style of shorter...

Cameron Makes It To The Shortlist ....... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

Of the "Fannying Around" Award., "What's a Cabinet for?"...

Team GB hopeful for 2012 Paralytic Games 9
antharrison 3 years

UK Spirits has welcomed the announcement of the 2012 Paraylitic Games squad in advance of the gigantic drinking contest which will take place in London in 2012. Fans of the 400 mls are said to be...

"Mr Parrot Face Davis" Makes A Comeback As UK Economic Icon....... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

.."I'm sick, sick, sick up to here!"...

NHS To Charge A Fee For Injured Drunks - From Tonight.... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

."The Pound Stretcher.", However, 'Out of Pocket' incapables will still have to crawl home. "Mind my hands will you!"...

Ronnie Corbett makes New Years Honours shortlist 1
Perks 3 years
Millions baffled by New Year debt mountain mystery 1
roybland 3 years

Millions of Britons are grappling with the mysterious appearance of New Year debt mountains following the festive season.,  , 'I just don't get it,' said Percy Grimshaw (new 42inch LCD flat screen...

Twitter To Temporarily Close Down....... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

..Due to birdseed shortfall...

Lib Dems already broken New Year's resolutions 0
Psycadelic Squirrel 3 years
NHS lifestyle questionnaires 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

to include ‘do you drink less than your Doctor?’, More hypocrisy on the way...

Research Scientist shows conclusive proof Dolphins are talking about him 6
SimonJJames 3 years
Kids aren't even safe to rob Foot Locker in Oxford Street, says report 0
ronseal 3 years
Mayan Postal Worker really 'Phoning it in today' say Colleagues 0
SimonJJames 3 years

Surely been done?...

Horse accused of being a naysayer 0
Nick McCarr 3 years
Uproar as France name Arsenal FC as their football team for Olympics 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years
Russell Brand/Katy Perry split; millions rushed to intensive don't care 2
apepper 3 years

Hospitals throughout Britain have been overwhelmed with patients suffering from severe apathy following the news that Russell Brand and Katy Perry are to divorce...

Arab league concerned about Hama, Deraa, Homs and several other Wombles 0
virtuallywill 3 years

Underground overground, protesting free...

Barfly shits in vodka and tonic 0
nickb 3 years
Stage door johnnies protect actresses from pregnancy 0
nickb 3 years
Parkinson was dubbed Randy Old Goat by Iron Lady 0
Drylaw 3 years

According to secret cabinet papers now revealed under the 30 year rule, PM Margaret Thatcher frequently insulted colleague Cecil Parkinson in the cabinet room, calling him The Rutting Hind and on one...

"Tell them I've got Alzheimers" Howe overheard whispering to aide 0
Drylaw 3 years
2012 Could be a brilliant year for predictions, says social media pundit 2
ronseal 3 years

One of the key trends for 2012 will be a massive wave of increasingly wild predictions, according to the zeitgeist watching community. With attention spans increasingly ooh-cool-shoes, and our...

Cameron to be given a fake veto button with rubber sucker for next EU summit. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Ed Miliband says 2012 will be 'Year of the Weird' 2
roybland 3 years

2012 will be 'the 'Year of the Weird' says Ed Miliband in his New Year message to voters.,  , 'People are tired of the same old ordinary politicians with the same old ordinary faces,' he said. 'I...

Cameron Promises To Be Useful At Next Euro Meet....... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

.Helping out as a cloakroom attendant., "Negotiations? What are they?"...