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Anders Brevik tells court "Jeremy Beadle's voice made me do it" 0
Scronnyglonkle 16.04.12 10:45am
Scronnyglonkle
‘Death curse’ Grand National sweepstake entrant strikes again

It has been revealed that Pete Jenkins, the country’s unluckiest sweepstake contestant, struck again at Saturday’s Grand National. Mr Jenkins, an accounts clerk from Basingstoke, has now...

6
Midfield Diamond 17.04.12 12:09pm
Midfield Diamond
Trees in Rainforests to be felled in cute shapes, so it looks better from Space

More later...

5
virtuallywill 16.04.12 10:59am
virtuallywill
Blair tells Osbourne to remove cap for wealthy donors

A man who bought a £2.99 jumper from a charity shop in Keighley has been told he will still have to pay the basic rate of income tax on his regular monthly income despite foregoing the odd penny...

0
St.Cecilia 16.04.12 9:09am
St.Cecilia
Consolation for Spurs as they claim charity relief against cost of their defence 0
Duncan Biscuit 16.04.12 9:08am
Duncan Biscuit
Education Dept tells Truancy Tsar they don’t know where Michael Gove is 0
Duncan Biscuit 16.04.12 9:07am
Duncan Biscuit
Charity’s research into Parkinson’s expected to create hundreds of jobs 0
Duncan Biscuit 16.04.12 9:07am
Duncan Biscuit
Cameron criticized for keeping a monkey as a pet. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 16.04.12 8:50am
dominic_mcg
Dim-witted racist Anders Breivik gives Black-Power salute to court.

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2012/Apr/Week3/16209391.jpg...

4
MADJEZ 17.04.12 7:22pm
arthurminnit
BBFC and FA confirm plans to give football matches an 18 certificate. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 16.04.12 8:32am
dominic_mcg
“Bahrain GP will go ahead despite human rights abuses” - F1 boss from China 0
Yikes 16.04.12 8:29am
Yikes
TfL announces plans to let black cab drivers use pavements at peak times. 1
dominic_mcg 16.04.12 9:12am
pere floza
Carjacker admits to ignoring Baby On Board stickers

A carjacker who left a Peugeot 306 containing two toddlers smouldering in a ditch has admitted that the Baby on Board stickers failed to have much of an impact on his decision-making process. The...

3
Gary Stanton 17.04.12 7:26am
dvo4fun
Drought Minister advises: 'Dump petrol from jerrycans and fill with water' 2
pinxit 16.04.12 5:07pm
pinxit
Dave Should Go To Euros Says Mate

After scoring the winning goal in the local Seven a side pub finals Dave’s mate has made the case for him to lead the line for England this summer. It continued his fine form this season, the peak...

1
Hooch 18.04.12 2:57pm
grumblechops
RSPCA concern for dumb animals as another footballer dies on the pitch. 0
MADJEZ 15.04.12 11:38pm
MADJEZ
Make-A-Wish Deny Child's "Cure Me," Request 1
Hooch 15.04.12 10:20pm
Golgo13
Price of olive oil crashes as Jamie Oliver switches to rapeseed oil 1
quango 16.04.12 9:14am
pere floza
Actress still not on speaking terms with Bishop

Actress still not on speaking terms with Bishop, In a disappointing move for double entendre lovers everywhere, the Actress has confirmed she has split from the Bishop. Its though to be a 'big blow'...

11
yens123 17.04.12 10:49am
Midnight Dreary
Gadaffi issues rallying cry from beyond the grave

Gadaffi issues rallying cry from beyond the grave Reports have confirmed that Colonel Gadaffi has issued a statement to his followers through the man who was formally child star Haley Joel Osment. ...

0
yens123 15.04.12 7:45pm
yens123
Doctors unite to fight obesity with ridicule

Organisations representing nearly every doctor in the UK have come together to promote ridicule as the most effective measure in combating obesity. Royal Medical Colleges spokesman Prof Terence...

13
Mandy Lifeboat 18.04.12 1:47pm
Nails UK
North Korean Rocket Scientists reassigned to brain surgery

"Obviously, you're no rocket scientists," Kim Jong-un declares...

0
wwwiz 15.04.12 6:21pm
wwwiz
LGBT community to begin ironic bus-based anti-religious campaign

Finally, after years of abuse and homophobic vilification, the gay community has announced it now has greater numbers than hardcore Christians in the UK, and plans to begin an ironic retaliation...

0
kga6 15.04.12 5:50pm
kga6
Ken Jong-Il Cries at Praise from Workers for Glorious Leader of The People 1
ronseal 15.04.12 4:44pm
Premiership will stage season's 1 minute silences "all in one go"

The opening  matches of next season's Premiership will all start with seventeen minute silences or seventeen minutes of respectful applause, in a move to minimise disruption later in the season....

4
nickb 15.04.12 10:23pm
Golgo13
Banksy Moon peace graffiti fails to stop Afghanistan bloodshed 1
nickb 15.04.12 2:48pm
charlies_hat
Empire switches mobile contract to O2 amid Jedi bias allegations

Darth Vader the Dark Lord of the Sith today confirmed that the Imperial Empire have decided to switch their mobile operator from Vodafone to O2 after the company showed allegiance to the Jedi with a...

4
Rizzo 18.04.12 9:01am
Old Hat
Pall cast over Aintree barbecue after news emerges of death of cow

The first barbecue of the year at 17 Ranham Close, Aintree was tinged with sadness this weekend as the joy of tucking into char-grilled quarter pounder burgers and steak sandwiches was muted by news...

7
DrTurmoil 16.04.12 6:18am
DrTurmoil
Chelsea FC: limit on charity donations from the wealthy would kill the club

Chelsea FC joined the clamour of charities claiming that the upper limit on tax relief for donations would kill the club completely. A spokesman said "for a number of years, Chelsea FC has depended...

0
steve_l 15.04.12 12:15pm
steve_l
Banksy on Arts funding cuts: 'The writing is on the wall for street artists'

more later. I do apologise. Hat, coat...

2
dvo4fun 15.04.12 7:14pm
kga6