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ISLE OF PORTLAND HIT AS MIDDLE EAST TURMOIL SPREADS The Isle of Portland has become the latest victim of the growing instability in the middle east. Spurred on by recent...

Peter749400 17.07.12 9:47pm
Local Councils Start ‘Bin Day Roulette’

For people across the UK Wednesday means the Mid Week Lottery draw, but for those lucky enough to live in the right postcode it can also mean it’s time for their local council’s exciting new game...

Quaz 17.07.12 9:20pm
G4S to assist Tory canvassers at next election..... - 2 33
Jesse Bigg 17.07.12 7:58pm
An idiots guide to ........ idiots

The term idiot was invented by Fyodor Dostoevsky in his novel The Idiot, originally called the screaming fuckwit, publishers had to temper the language for a more gentile readership.. "Idiot"...

simonjmr 17.07.12 7:21pm
Al OPecia
New species of ant discovered living on super-obese

An ant new to science has been found living on the bodies of some super-obese residents in Rotherham. The ant colony lives between the deep folds of skin and is thought to feed on the sugary...

Actual Size 17.07.12 5:21pm
Nick Buckles under pressure. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 17.07.12 4:41pm
Batman after a night on the Guinness- Dark Shite Rises 0
Psycadelic Squirrel 17.07.12 4:33pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
Vaz Sticks The Boot In As Nick Buckles 0
pinxit 17.07.12 4:06pm
Batman / 50 shades mash up on the cards "The Grey Slong Rises" 0
simonjmr 17.07.12 3:44pm
Bottle Boys remake 50 PInts of MIlk commissioned

50 Pints of milk is a remake of the 1984 sitcom Bottle Boys which starred Robin Askwith as football-mad milkman Dave Deacon, the series mined comedy of the broadest sort from randy Dave's amorous...

simonjmr 17.07.12 3:41pm
Government documents to be "sexed up" after success of 50 Shades of Grey 0
Nails UK 17.07.12 3:24pm
Nails UK
An idiots guide to... Death

Death - we've all heard of it, and some of you may have experienced it first hand, but do you really understand what it is and how to use it? Death, or death metal, to give its full chemical name,...

bonjonelson 17.07.12 3:03pm
Panic As GM Crops Escape From Research Station

There was alarm at the John Innes Centre in Norwich yesterday when it was announced that biosecurity had been breached and some genetically modified vegetables had managed to escape into the wider...

Actual Size 17.07.12 2:41pm
Actual Size
Original Thatcher Cabinet to reform for lucrative, one-off gig

Following successful reunions from Take That, Steps, and most recently The Stone Roses, Margaret Thatcher has ended years of speculation with the news that the original conservative line up from 1979...

17.07.12 1:27pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Watchdog star and rogue traders were 'all in it together' 0
ronseal 17.07.12 1:19pm
Greece flogs off bits of philosophy to cover debts

Greece; with support from the IMF and the Germans is selling off bite- size chunks of its massive contribution to western thought in a bold attempt to meet some of its debt payments., ‘There’s a...

Chris Hitchcock 17.07.12 1:14pm
Olympic Village Opens to US and Chinese Condom Crisis

Within hours of the Olympic Village opening it's doors to thousands of excited athletes, an international crisis developed over the controversial supply of free condoms. After early trials, first...

17.07.12 12:20pm
Boss actually sticks employee's job up his arse

Stoke mandeville hospital situated right in the heart of extra toe country, is quite used to its fair share of unusual injuries. But staff at accident and emergency were rather taken aback this...

The Masked Frog 17.07.12 11:30am
Bolt Snr out of the Dad's race following positive trace of Sanatogen in sample 1
charlies_hat 17.07.12 11:19am
Syrian President 'delighted' to achieve Investors in People 'Civil War' status 6
dvo4fun 17.07.12 11:18am
IOC issues copyright warning to Onion Ring manufacturers 3
Scronnyglonkle 17.07.12 11:15am
Earth landing “totally faked”, claim Martian sceptics

Scientists on Mars faced fresh allegations last night that video footage of the famous 1985 Earth Landing, in which astronauts from the red planet landed their flying saucer next to a service station...

NewSuburbanDad 17.07.12 10:25am
It's only a crap novel, everyone is reminded

There is growing concern in government circles that large numbers of ostensibly sane BRitish adults are devoting too much time to reading and even discussing 50 Shades of Grey, an inexplicably...

Oxbridge 17.07.12 10:01am
An Idiot's Guide to ... Canada

As the old song goes, "It's big, it's bare, it's somewhere over there". This sums up succinctly what most people feel about the great nation of Canada. Well, we are here to help, with our rough guide...

seymour totti 17.07.12 9:15am
Dastardly & Muttley paint tunnel on wall at Tour de France (v2)

Following Dick Dastardly's dastardly plan to pop everyone else's tyres yesterday, the leader of team "Le Batard" has today painted a tunnel on a brick wall. To everyone's amazement, the peloton...

grottymonty 17.07.12 9:13am
Lone synchronised swimmer arrives by sea for Olympics

As competitors begin to arrive in London for the Olympic Games, one athlete has had an epic journey having swum all of the way from her home in the distant Pacific Ocean quite literally to the shores...

Stan 17.07.12 9:12am
Little surprise Yahoo’s search for its new boss took so long 5
Duncan Biscuit 17.07.12 9:09am
Psycadelic Squirrel
Traditionalists attack Scottish cabinet plans for same-sex Gay Gordon couples 0
Duncan Biscuit 17.07.12 8:33am
Duncan Biscuit
MPs draft in Theresa May after GS4 boss fails to turn up to answer questions 0
Duncan Biscuit 17.07.12 8:33am
Duncan Biscuit
First Olympic swimmers find German team’s towels already at pool side 0
Duncan Biscuit 17.07.12 8:32am
Duncan Biscuit