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Child protection at Birmingham City Council to be transferred to RSPCA

Child protection responsibilities of Birmingham City Council should be outsourced to the RSPCA, recommends Ofsted. Social services in the West Midlands have failed inspections seven times over the...

medici2471 14.11.13 7:45am
Prince Charles looks forward to "doing nothing" after retirement

As Prince Charles reaches retirement age, he's planning a change of lifestyle from doing bugger all to doing sod all. The workaholic prince is going to continue his official duty of "part time...

apepper 14.11.13 7:20am
Invisibility cloak stolen

The inventor of an invisibility cloak was distraught today after the futuristic garment was stolen. "I had just finished inventing it that morning and tried it out on the missus" said Prof. Gerald...

Psycadelic Squirrel 14.11.13 3:02am
Negative article receives barrage of positive comments 0
Dumbnews 14.11.13 1:53am
Dr. Phil tells Typhoon survivors to change how they think about Typhoons 0
Dumbnews 14.11.13 1:47am
Philipino Survivors With No Electricity Advised To Change Energy Providers 1
Titus 13.11.13 10:47pm
McCririck tribunal - "legal to discriminate against fat sexist wankers"

Legal history was made today as an employment tribunal ruled that channel 4 did not break the law when they sacked eccentric horse botherer John McCririck on account of his being a complete wanker....

BAJDixon 13.11.13 10:33pm
Rail replacement buses not adequate alternative suicides complain. 0
MADJEZ 13.11.13 10:12pm
National Thing Which Happened Also Happened Locally, Albeit In A Small Way

That thing which just happened across the country and probably elicited an interview with the Prime Minister or A Famous Person, also happened in our region today. Despite the general crapness of our...

deceangli 13.11.13 10:08pm
Elderly scorpion gets Dimbleby tattoo on arse.

“It was either him or Sting,” says scorpion....

pinxit 13.11.13 10:06pm
Fury as 6 time filicidal maniac Hercules is sentenced to just 12 Labours 1
ronseal 13.11.13 9:27pm
Children in Need Bosses Slam Typhoon Timing

Children in Need organisers have slammed the timing of Typhoon Haiyan. They claim the Red Cross Appeal is encroaching on their own fundraising efforts. Speaking on behalf of the children’s...

Sheepstar 13.11.13 9:23pm
Fans lobby for John McCririck’s re-enstatement, almost fill phone-box... 0
Tripod 13.11.13 9:11pm
Philomena "Very Naughty Indeed" Says God

In a break from Divine tradition, God has issued a press release regarding the Steve Coogan film 'Philomena'. "The film depicts nuns as evil, embittered sows, which is wholly inaccurate and...

deceangli 13.11.13 8:55pm
New alarm detects if you have working fire alarms 0
Dumbnews 13.11.13 8:51pm
Farmer found guilty of letting bull escape asks for 8 further old fences to be

taken into consideration...

Al OPecia 13.11.13 8:45pm
Al OPecia
Man Arrested Over Phoney ‘Best Dad In The World’ Mug

When father of three Jim Patterson turned up for work with a mug bearing the words “Best Dad In The world”, colleagues congratulated him on his achievement and he seemed to be in line for a...

deceangli 13.11.13 8:39pm
Swimmer Sean Conway gives up, just halfway round. More soon. 4
Al OPecia 13.11.13 7:48pm
Dick Everyman
God announces retirement - but who will take His place?

The ecclesiastical world was still in shock today after yesterday's announcement that God is retiring, and TV studios today are full of theological pundits offering their views on who will take over...

bonjonelson 13.11.13 7:27pm
Drones to be replaced by cycle superhighways

The military are in talks with Boris Johnson to target terrorists by building cycle superhighways in Taliban strongholds...

drtrade 13.11.13 6:45pm
David Jacobs to sue BBC in landmark "deadism" case. More soon.

Veteran deceased broadcaster David Jacobs is to take on the BBC by suing for unfair dismissal on the basis of predjudice due to him no longer being alive, according to his legal team today. "We...

Al OPecia 13.11.13 6:30pm
John McCririck wins charmless git discrimination case

Racing pundit, John McCririck, has won his case against Channel Four for dismissing him for being a charmless git; the judge summed up the case by saying that Mr McCririck and demonstrated beyond any...

apepper 13.11.13 6:24pm
John McCririck to sue Channel 4 for twatism. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 13.11.13 6:18pm
Bears demand better toilet and sewage facilities in woods 1
sydalg 13.11.13 6:02pm
Yewtree officers mourn 70s stars who died before they could arrest them 1
sydalg 13.11.13 5:19pm
Gove to privatize ‘children’s tears’

The Secretary for State has proposed, with the certainty one would only associate with a lemming, to expose the young and vulnerable to the caring ministrations of venture capitalists. Private sector...

Wrenfoe 13.11.13 5:18pm
Radio DJ haunted by drumbeats

Local radio DJ Lloyd Crowther's life is 'sheer misery' since he started to notice that everything he says is accompanied by tinny drumbeats in the background. "I could hear this low-volume...

Boutros 13.11.13 4:33pm
Gove adds Justin Bieber lyrics to GCSE Syllabus

In his latest overhaul of GCSE's the Secretary for Education, Michael Gove, has added the lyrics of diminutive Canadian Pop sensation Justin Bieber to the GCSE English Syllabus. Alongside the poetry...

blokefromstoke 13.11.13 4:30pm
Police rule 'spy in a bag' death was an open and shut case 4
custard cream 13.11.13 4:30pm
Morale boost for typhoon survivors as Natalie recovers in time for Strictly 0
nyarlathotep 13.11.13 4:29pm