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Kate Bush Tour forces all other female singers into early retirement

Through a combination of George Osborne’s generous pension provision in his budget and the surprise tour of the UK’s ‘last spark of originality’, many of the world’s leading musicians plan...

Wrenfoe 28.03.14 2:23pm
Deaf woman warned to avoid Jedward 0
GrumpyCat 28.03.14 2:06pm
Deaf woman hears patronising tone of voice for first time

Based on:

Adrian Bamforth 28.03.14 1:53pm
Adrian Bamforth
Deaf woman who hears for the first time fails to listen 2
Gary Stanton 28.03.14 1:43pm
Gary Stanton
Worried Owners Of Black And White Cats Have their Pets Repainted Tabby Or Ginger

More TB posted later...

Titus 28.03.14 1:34pm
Leicester Skeleton - hunt for serial killer Richard continues

The police are dismayed to find that the skeleton found in a Leicester car park may not be that of Richard III, the infamous serial killer who had his nephews killed. 'To be fair, we were a bit...

throngsman 28.03.14 12:44pm
Cats, badgers deny biological warfare 0
Coco 28.03.14 12:07pm
Gay couples planning to wed would spurn up to 20% of family and friends

A new BBC survey has revealed that when planning their weddings gay couples would spurn up to 20% of their families and friends. Speaking under strict anonymity, one couple revealed that they were...

DorsetBoy 28.03.14 11:55am
Campaign to market cheese biscuits without cheese launched

'We're a mainstay of the British manufacturing economy,' stated the managing director of one of Britain's largest manufacturers of cheese biscuits, 'and come Autumn, with the drawing in of the...

throngsman 28.03.14 11:16am
Sky news introduce ball by ball coverage of Clifford trial 0
custard cream 28.03.14 10:02am
custard cream
Typo leads to mandatory porn for teenagers 0
Not Amused 28.03.14 9:34am
Not Amused
Black Box from Gordon Brown's government located

After years of intensive searching, a team of scientists believe that they have located the 'black box' at the heart of the Labour government during Gordon Brown's premiership from 2007 to 2010....

NewBiscuit 28.03.14 9:29am
Michael Portillo appointed new RMT Union boss

A delighted and surprised Mr Portillo said: “I think the selection committee appreciated my passion for the railways and my determination to protect the safety and interests of RMT members.”...

farmer giles 28.03.14 9:05am
One third of Britons 'not pulling their weight' says report

A report into obesity has highlighted that up to one third of Britons are not overweight. 'It's a scandal', said weight minister Eric Pickles. 'We are a country that likes to punch above its weight,...

throngsman 28.03.14 8:57am
British people now so heavy we're sinking into the sea claims study

A shocking new study carried out by the General Medical Council in association with the Environment Agency has concluded that Britain now contains so many clinically obese people that the country is...

bookiesfriend 28.03.14 8:43am
Cat cull ordered by Environment Agency

Responding to the Daily Mail report that cats can spread TB amongst humans, the Government has today ordered a trial cull of cats in selected areas of the country. Dog owners will be permitted to...

Andy Gilder 28.03.14 8:34am
Andy Gilder
Korean dogs "must be groomed like Kim Jong Un" before cooking 0
sydalg 28.03.14 8:17am
‘Read my lips’, says God, ‘I don’t give a toss about your team’...

God has cleared up a common misunderstanding among football supporters. ‘Let me make this plain”, said God, with an air of finality, ‘I don’t answer prayers about the football team you happen...

Tripod 28.03.14 8:03am
Eric Pickles seen eating chips out of copy of obesity report 1
throngsman 28.03.14 8:02am
Jack tired of 'thinking outside the box'. I just get shoved back in 0
Not Amused 28.03.14 7:54am
Not Amused
Cats unite with badgers in bid to destroy humanity.

Feel free to add...

miked10270 28.03.14 7:54am
Schools to examine before teaching

Schools minister David Laws announced a new strategy aimed at making 'Gove seem rational' earlier today. 'My idea,' he said in a news conference, 'is to make schoolchildren take exams before they are...

throngsman 28.03.14 7:54am
Egyptian Courts & Danish Zookeepers To Assist with Proposed Cull Of Bankers 1
Titus 28.03.14 7:37am
Dick Everyman
National Lottery lauch 'Fat Chance' scratch cards to tackle obesity crisis.

It could happen...

spoole2112 28.03.14 7:14am
Korean men terrified Kim Jong Un will switch to mullet 0
sydalg 28.03.14 12:41am
North Korean men told to 'look a bit paunchy and not old enough for their job'. 1
electrelane 27.03.14 11:07pm
Smart Alex
Quantum physicist attempting DIY worries about the true nature of particle board 0
Smart Alex 27.03.14 11:03pm
Smart Alex
Particle or wave? "Make your fucking mind up light!" says Hawking. 0
Maverick 27.03.14 10:44pm
Inquiry to turn energy market "upside down". Now to be known as "the Big 9" 0
Andy Gilder 27.03.14 10:00pm
Andy Gilder
Coldplay release 'somewhat long-winded' cover version of 'D-I-V-O-R-C-E' 2
Idiot 27.03.14 9:17pm