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Distraught Jolie thought she was getting fancy coffee. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 14.05.13 5:42pm
dominic_mcg
Isle of Man refuse gay tenants prior to annual event of 100 men lapping Douglas 2
Backup Brian 14.05.13 4:03pm
ginty
Angelina Jolie's ovarian cancer risk suggests 50% increase in Womb Raider jokes 0
topfotogmw 14.05.13 3:28pm
topfotogmw
Relate workers launch training course for men on how to hang the washing out

A group of four women from the relationship charity Relate have joined forces to market a training course specifically aimed at those men who are utterly useless at putting the laundry out to dry. ...

0
Midfield Diamond 14.05.13 3:01pm
Midfield Diamond
IEDs discovered at Muirfield : tabloid at loss for headline 6
FlashArry 14.05.13 2:50pm
Midfield Diamond
BBC defends incoherent radio presenter as Robbie Savage continues on 606 3
Backup Brian 14.05.13 2:47pm
Midfield Diamond
Doctor Who left Tardis inside Tardis; some loss of Universe expected

An investigation has started about how the Time Lord, Doctor Who came to leave the Tardis inside itself after a particularly complicated time travelling episode. It's expected that effects of the...

4
apepper 14.05.13 2:38pm
theinvisiblecitychannels
Georgie Porgie arrested by Operation Yewtree officers

Georgie Porgie was arrested by officers from Operation Yewtree in a dawn raid this morning. Following the raid, Chief Inspector Phillips said: 'We have it on very good authority that Georgie Porgie...

2
John Wiltshire 14.05.13 1:45pm
John Wiltshire
Farage Too Helpless Wih Laughter To Comment On Tory Parliamentary EU Shambles 0
Titus 14.05.13 1:32pm
Titus
Adult entertainment industry in mourning for last man to pay for pornography.

The adult entertainment industry is tonight in mourning for Eric Swell, believed to be the last man on Earth to pay for pornography. Mr Swell, 76, died alone on Friday evening shortly after making...

24
sredni vashta 14.05.13 1:08pm
beau-jolly
Rolls Royce sponsored Super car to be driven by Parker

"You rang m'lady"...

0
victimms 14.05.13 1:03pm
victimms
Surprising sales of Den Brown's book about his time in Ferno.

More trypos spoon...

0
MADJEZ 14.05.13 12:47pm
MADJEZ
Fans relieved Jolie didn't have her personality removed 0
Yikes 14.05.13 12:16pm
Yikes
Chef who combined nitrous oxide with oxo cube makes himself a laughing stock 6
Idiot 14.05.13 11:42am
brianflan
Anger that ‘soldier's heart' eaten by Syrian rebel may have contained horse meat

More later...

0
Wrenfoe 14.05.13 10:23am
Wrenfoe
Newsbiscuit sub editors "could be being held in Harold" say police sources

Newsbiscuit "like the Marie Celeste" as updates dwindle The eerie calm that has means almost no movement on the Newsbiscuit front page could have a sinister explanation: A mass kidnapping of...

12
nickb 14.05.13 9:57am
nickb
Gove condemns Cbeebies for lack of breadth

Speaking today to BBC executives the Secretary of State voiced his frustration about the lack of historical depth in the “Mr Men” syllabus. Furthermore he expressed concerns about the general...

5
Wrenfoe 14.05.13 9:36am
nickb
Home Office figures show "encouraging" decline in number of unreported crimes. 5
sredni vashta 14.05.13 9:14am
raudus
Lout who threw Swedish vodka bottle described as an Absolut tosser. 3
weematt 14.05.13 8:56am
irreverendJ
"Gardeners are not dull" says Alan Titchmarzzzzzzzz...

Is he stating the bloomin' obvious?...

0
irreverendJ 14.05.13 8:48am
irreverendJ
"When I’m Cleaning Windows" was first song to be sang in space, claim Russians.

Pictures of a lone banjo-ukulele, weightlessly spinning in grainy black and white aboard a tiny space capsule prove that George Formby was the first man to perform a popular song in space, aboard...

0
nickb 14.05.13 8:07am
nickb
Family of four challenge Green MP to live for a week on 5 carbon credits 0
blacklesbianandproudofit 14.05.13 8:00am
blacklesbianandproudofit
United Utillities to be investigated over Waterboarding claims

more later...

0
Scronnyglonkle 14.05.13 7:01am
Scronnyglonkle
Vicky Pryce's new book to be ghostwritten

More later...

0
Wrenfoe 14.05.13 6:55am
Wrenfoe
Mini-roundabout Mexican stand-off reaches third day

The drivers of three Nissan Micras who have all been giving way to each other at a mini-roundabout in Weston-Super-Mare have been given emergency rations by concerned locals as their stand-off passes...

21
ianslat 14.05.13 6:45am
Yikes
Miliband pledge: "I'll be tough on Europe & tough on the sauces of Europe”

With the Tories split on Europe even wider than a Moulin Rouge chorus line dancing the can-can, Labour supremo, Ed Miliband, is about to announce a raft of hardline election pledges. In a speech to...

6
Lenny Bee 13.05.13 9:36pm
Al OPecia
Fall in overall crime rate claim challenged

Despite the local Constabulary's insistence that the overall crime rate has fallen over the last 12 months, a group of Derbyshire villagers believe that thefts are actually increasing. 'I bought...

0
Paddywack 13.05.13 9:29pm
Paddywack
Daily Mail demands state funeral for Sir Alec 0
blacklesbianandproudofit 13.05.13 8:14pm
blacklesbianandproudofit
Major to advise Cameron:

"Don't let the bastards get you down"...

0
brd888 13.05.13 7:24pm
brd888
Apathetic referee couldn't give a toss

hat tip to sredni...

1
weematt 13.05.13 6:15pm
sredni vashta