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Emotive end to FA meeting with Capello on table crying "O Captain! My Captain!" 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Royal Mail to issue Diamond Jubilee stamps featuring Queen's image. More soon. 5
Mary Evans 3 years

Well, that's it actually...

'One funny little trick for a flatter stomach' finally revealed... 3
Skylarking 3 years

David Milliband: ”I’ll keep a low profile 1
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

just not as low as my brother’s"...

Snow Patrol face calls for zero performance bonus amid traffic chaos 0
cinquecento 3 years
DFS launch range of attractive, solidly-built furniture... 1
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

(not in sale)...

Man charged with Substance abuse after breaking best of New Order 2 cd set 5
virtuallywill 3 years


Newsbiscuit Special Supplement: So what Exactly is this 'Snow' 2
ronseal 3 years

Meteorologists didn't see it coming. Weathermen deny it. Transport planners are baffled by it. Drivers live in fear of it. Until yesterday, nobody had heard of it. It's called Snow. But, amazingly,...

NHS drugs costs soar. Health bosses urge Doctors to be less prescriptive 0
dvo4fun 3 years
Search on for Man who bought a non sale item at DFS 0
Rabi 3 years

Staff at DFS Wiltshire were stunned today when a sixty year old man walked into their store and bought a chair which was not on sale. The staff were busy taking down some signs on Monday and...

Miliband Parachutes Into Congo To Save NHS 1
Hooch 3 years

After it was reported that the NHS was kidnapped during a recent holiday, the Labour Leader has made it his mission to rescue it. Miliband said, “The NHS is in danger that much we know. Suggesting...

Alex Salmond irate that an 85% UK Govt Bank sponsors the Scottish rugby team 3
simonjmr 3 years

"It's an obvious case of Uk interventionism, an a blatant attempt to scupper the referrendum for independence" said Mr Salmond at Murrayfield yesterday. "The English government obviously pressured...

Grateful nation thanks the Queen for keeping Prince Chakes off the throne 2
roybland 3 years

Plans to honour the Queen's sixty-year achievement of keeping Prince Charles from becoming monarch are well underway according to organizers of the Diamond Jubilee anniversary celebrations. 'She's a...

World computer meltdown predicted for 29 February 0
roybland 3 years
Police hunt for “white clad Parson Brown” in sham marriages mystery. 0
nickb 3 years

An enigmatic figure claiming to be a Church of England Minister is the subject of an extensive rural search after allegedly pressuring a young couple to undergo a marriage ceremony of questionable...

Mates of man charged with perverting the course of justice say he's a great guy 1
roybland 3 years

A man charge with perverting the course of justice is one of the finest men to walk this earth according to his mates and ex-work colleagues. 'He's my best friend,' said one of the man's mates, 'and...

Laser nose surgeon denies being the “bogeyman” of new medical procedures 2
nickb 3 years

For years, Laser eye surgery has been a medical fact of life. Simple, effective, routine and instant. Dr Gary Spring is a pioneer who has earned millions from its widespread use . But yesterday he...

Shortage of African animals after zoo mistakenly orders a giraffe excluder 1
Smart Alex 3 years
CBeebies' Mr Tumble diagnosed with ear cancer 3
3 years

Better to paste it on here than blurt it out to the kids...

Submissions board braces itself for flurry of snow-based double-entendres 5
Skylarking 3 years

The Satireiological Office has issued an unprecedented 'Amber' double-entendre alert, as the Newsbiscuit writers room braced itself for a deep covering of gags about 'Katy Perry/Vicky Price/Norfolk...

Dictionary In Turmoil As "Q" And "U" Announce Shock Seperation 0
sredni vashta 3 years
Treacherous road sold kiss'n'tell stories of bedroom romps to the tabloids 0
ronseal 3 years

The A308 has been condemned as treacherous, after it was unveiled as the source of a series of Kiss'n'tell stories that appeared in the Sunday Mirror. Though it's foundation was made of hardcore,...

Lord Voldemorte stripped of peerage 0
apepper 3 years

Well known wizard, Lord Voldemorte has been stripped of his peerage and will henceforth be known as "Mr Voldemorte". This follows allegationa of cruelty to snakes...

All future knights must prove they have killed a dragon, says Queen. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 3 years
Huge increase in overtime amongst sports journalists 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

as millions of pages of rugby related copy have to be rewritten...

For Huhne the bell tolls. 7
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years
Glasgow KFC to serve deep-fried ear, after successful trial 2
Sinnick 3 years
Forget WMDs, Al Qaeda to bring down the West with a big snow machine. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Country gridlocked by surprise, long-predicted, snow fall. 0
riesler 3 years
MRS A. arrested after series of hospital deaths. 5
Ian Searle 3 years