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Middle-aged man letting go dream of rock stardom

About to enter his fifth decade, accountant Norman Lehman is beginning to relinquish his dream of super star rock celebrity. Norman looks back with disappointment to the days when his band, The Old...

roybland 22.03.13 10:06pm
Baker arrested for skimming 8.33333333333333333333333333333333333333% of profits 2
LensCap 22.03.13 10:05pm
'Missiles too ineffectual at killing to solve problems,' claims Obama.

In a state visit to Israel President Obama has expressed dismay at the continual use of missiles in the conflict, saying, 'they are a totally inefficient device of murder.', Touring the destruction,...

Hooch 22.03.13 9:53pm
50+ adults re-live their youth by 'Swimming with condoms'

Whilst many of today's trendy youngsters dream of 'Swimming with dolphins' in US-style theme parks, the 50+ generation is increasingly remembering youthful days spent in local rivers and canals...

antharrison 22.03.13 9:42pm
Big Ben
Dawn French wins Churchill dog look a like competition

Take a look....

custard cream 22.03.13 9:38pm
4 suffer horrible death as Digby, biggest dog in the world, has a surprise shit 1
LensCap 22.03.13 9:37pm
The All New Jeni B
Indoor Barbecue voted "Invention Of The Year 2012"

The man behind it a Mr Firestarta said today "Often the best ideas are the simplest ones, just like this. With one of these and some indoor fireworks it is ideal for parties and of course children"....

Flash! Aa-aaaa! 22.03.13 9:02pm
Flash! Aa-aaaa!
John Barnes arrested for BBC TV Centre Blue Peter garden disappearance

more soon....

custard cream 22.03.13 8:57pm
custard cream
Free in tomorrow's Daily Mail, Richard Littlejohn's guide to making friends 0
Ian Searle 22.03.13 8:03pm
Ian Searle
Buddhist Fundamentalists Launch Jihad In Burma

Titus 22.03.13 7:53pm
Northerners Rerun old Snow Footage to claim extended Spring Holiday

Its got to be a hoax, right?...

OliverMcPhee 22.03.13 7:12pm
"Market Street" Invaded by Market Traders Shock

Trouble erupted at a newly opened Morrisons this morning after the stall traders of the old market that was demolished to make way for the new store invaded and set up shop in the famed marketing...

anhodika 22.03.13 6:53pm
PM Gillard tells Osborne: hands off Aus territory 0
LensCap 22.03.13 6:50pm
Madness set to play HMV Closure Concert

London Nutty Boys Madness confirmed today that they would be performing at Feltham HMV to mark the store’s closure Last year was a hectic year for the boys, gigging all over the country, on top of...

brownpaperreporter 22.03.13 6:33pm
Cyprus sunk in effort to save Euro

The island of Cyprus was disappeared last night in what European Union sources have described as "reasonable and proportionate action to get the Euro crisis under control." Cyprus, to be known...

BAJDixon 22.03.13 6:26pm
Emergency Services introduce "Hi-vis jacket potato"

hat tip to Perks from a while ago. North Face story...

nickb 22.03.13 6:13pm
Ribbed crisps “do not increase sexual pleasure” says study

A survey of over one hundred couples has revealed that despite claims to the contrary, ribbed crisps do not increase intensity of orgasm for either partner. Twelve flavours and three brands were...

CulchaVulcha 22.03.13 6:03pm
BBC in grooming controversy

The BBC has been shaken today by more accusations of sexual abuse. It has been revealed that the Met Police are investigating several historic claims of grooming by high profile BBC journalists...

godly1966 22.03.13 5:53pm
Biscuiteer still not sure whether to enter Neato

Biscuiteer Godly1966 has announced he is still undecided whether to enter this week’s neato on the subject of procrastination, in a statement just released he explains his predicament. “I always...

godly1966 22.03.13 5:04pm

To be continued...

bonjonelson 22.03.13 4:37pm
Masterchef's Gregg Wallace set to wed Banoffee Pie

In what is being billed as the social event of the year, TV presenter Gregg Wallace is to marry a 12 inch Banoffee Pie in August. Known for his love of puddings, Wallace met his pastry princess just...

Pat Mustard 22.03.13 3:45pm
Tired female Exec collapses on escalator & is accused of sleeping her way to top 0
blacklesbianandproudofit 22.03.13 3:34pm
Entire country favours crunchy outer layer to their bread 3
charlies_hat 22.03.13 12:46pm
19th Sept 2014 "Away wi' you Jimmy" day announced

Following hot on the heels of Alex Salmond's announcement that the day for the Scottish referendum regarding independence has been set for 18th September 2014, the English government have declared...

irreverendJ 22.03.13 11:29am
Job sighting in East Midlands 'just an IDS'

Reports of a job sighting somewhere in the East Midlands have been greeted with scepticism by experienced job seekers. 'It's probably just another IDS,'said unemployed Gary Bristow, who explained...

roybland 22.03.13 11:22am
Scientists develop formula for "the perfect Daily Mail reader comment"

Scientists in Stevenage were celebrating last night after developing a formula that provides a "perfect Daily Mail reader comment", guaranteeing the optimum number of green arrows regardless of the...

james_patching_1 22.03.13 10:52am
Man buys shop in Greenwich Village - Store in a cool place 0
Smart Alex 22.03.13 10:50am
Smart Alex
Cyprus credit rating downgraded to CCCP 5
medici2471 22.03.13 10:48am
Osborne Kicked In Balls’ ‘Asprin Nation’ Attack

Chancellor George Osborne’s ‘aspiration nation’ mantra was today savagely attacked as an ineffective placebo fooling none of the public by Shadow Chancellor Ed Balls. “Quack Doctor Osborne...

Reg Herring 22.03.13 9:33am
Reg Herring
Aspiration nation already short of breath 0
roybland 22.03.13 8:42am