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"I saw Brad in 'Burn After Reading' and laughed my tits off", says Jolie 0
topfotogmw 15.05.13 6:12pm
topfotogmw
Everyone mocks new Dan Brown book, but it sells millions

Dan Brown's new book, Infernally Bad, has been scorned, mocked and pilloried by eveyone in the entire world. 'It's awful!' declared one reviewer. 'Absolute rubbish! In fact, it's so appalling I...

16
John Wiltshire 15.05.13 5:26pm
wwwiz
British men concerned about 'crisis of femininity' in Diane Abbott 0
Backup Brian 15.05.13 3:32pm
Backup Brian
Meths drinkers, shouty tramps and cider visionaries gather for underpass AGM 1
simonjmr 15.05.13 3:14pm
Skylarking
Lancashire shop found to be still open after 40 years 1
NewBiscuit 15.05.13 3:11pm
theinvisiblecitychannels
So Keith likes cock...is that what the Catholic church calls a cardinal sin? 0
irreverendJ 15.05.13 2:45pm
irreverendJ
Bank of England upgrades forecasts to "mostly harmless"

More later...

0
Wrenfoe 15.05.13 1:43pm
Wrenfoe
Barnsley watchdog exposes widespread Government 'Fixing'

Retired Barnsley shopkeeper, Bert Strudwick, today accused the Government of 'Fixing' the price of beer. Hours after it was claimed that BP & Shell have been manipulating petrol prices for a...

0
Lenny Bee 15.05.13 1:27pm
Lenny Bee
Beckham has toe amputated after learning he has a 10% chance of ingrowing nail 0
blacklesbianandproudofit 15.05.13 12:51pm
blacklesbianandproudofit
Pub team stalwart puts fantasy England career behind him...

Andrew Cartwright, 43, from Weymouth, has announced to family, friends and the England selection panel that even in his own fantasy version of football, in which he could “still play at the highest...

0
Tripod 15.05.13 12:14pm
Tripod
John Humphrys’ grill wins Masterchef

Today programme presenter John Humphrys was crowned the surprise winner of this year’s Masterchef. Humphrys won over the judges with a breakfast menu that included the Director General of the BBC...

4
Wrenfoe 15.05.13 12:04pm
Lenny Bee
Mixed messages for Angelina Jolie, as fans yell “tits off for the lads”... 0
Tripod 15.05.13 11:45am
Tripod
New Israeli Airport Security Plan

[A story stolen from elewhere but with no author credited, so enjoy it here) The Israelis are developing an airport security device that eliminates the privacy concerns that come with full-body...

1
Titus 15.05.13 10:46am
Sinnick
Internet braced for new deluge of 'John Terry celebrating things' pictures

Hopefully no more soon...

0
johnnydobbo 15.05.13 10:29am
johnnydobbo
Welsh school rocked by news that rugby can hurt a bit.

A leading independent school in Wales has decided to ban certain rugby matches due to new research from the University of Llyfe, which shows that getting hit by other people wearing skin-tight lycra...

18
Bertrand Twisted 15.05.13 10:11am
Bertrand Twisted
CMYKKK finally admits colour discrimination 0
McKenzie 15.05.13 10:07am
McKenzie
Addict who habitually stole iPads couldn't stop taking the tablets. 0
weematt 15.05.13 10:03am
weematt
'Extremist' Preachers thwarted by student apathy

Radical Islamists have spoken at their frustration in making not the slightest impact on Britain's youngsters. Despite speaking at 180 events at 60 universities in the past year, preachers claim that...

3
Wrenfoe 15.05.13 9:24am
brianflan
Use of blow up dolls divides Muslim fundamentalists 13
Dick Everyman 15.05.13 9:22am
Oxbridge
Herschel space telescope blamed for UKIP success

Controllers at the European Space Agency's (Esa) have been left baffled by distorted images of UKIP finding their way on to media sites. This lesser known satellite orbiting the Tory cluster, is...

8
Wrenfoe 15.05.13 8:39am
Wrenfoe
Farrage demands immediate withdrawal from Eurovision. More soon. 5
dominic_mcg 15.05.13 8:16am
Titus
Satirists Demand to Know Who Is Wearing Chris Huhne's Tag For Him 4
Titus 15.05.13 8:08am
Wrenfoe
Manchester City to introduce weekly Guest Managers

Following the sacking of Roberto Mancini, Manchester City are to introduce a system of weekly Guest Managers. 'We got the idea after watching Have I Got News For You,' said a spokesman. 'Things...

1
John Wiltshire 15.05.13 8:05am
Wrenfoe
Ed Milliband to have Balls removed in dramatic reshuffle of opposition's jewels 0
irreverendJ 15.05.13 7:14am
irreverendJ
Millions of distraught men ring Samaritans at loss of Angelina Jolie's breasts. 6
MADJEZ 14.05.13 10:50pm
Sinnick
Publishers ship latest Dan Brown novel straight to car boot sales

In a move set to rock the publishing world to its foundations, Random House has revealed that the new Dan Brown novel Inferno is to be sold exclusively through car boot sales. ‘This is the obvious...

6
Skylarking 14.05.13 8:40pm
hal
Spaceman lands with a bump.

NASA astronuaut, Commander Chris Hadfield, has returned from his 6 month mission to the International Space Station only to make his most shocking discovery back home on planet earth. The Canadian...

2
Bertrand Twisted 14.05.13 8:14pm
Bertrand Twisted
Angelina Jolie to be given enormous computer-generated false breasts 0
Idiot 14.05.13 7:20pm
Idiot
TV Career Beckons for Alex Ferguson

In the wake of his much-publicised retirement from football, Sir Alex Ferguson has announced plans for a new venture as a chat-show host on Channel 5. The programme, to be called “It’s Fergie...

0
Iggy Pop-Barker 14.05.13 7:04pm
Iggy Pop-Barker
Why Huhne Favours "Les Jolies Laides"

a psychiatrist writes...

0
Mike Turbine-Hamilton 14.05.13 6:01pm
Mike Turbine-Hamilton