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Zawahiri facing suicide bomber strike as celestial virgins slashed by 20% 0
pere floza 3 years
Government in Athens rules cracks about 'Spartan measures' as casus belli 0
pere floza 3 years

.. or something like that. it would piss me off in their place anyway...

Will Smith to star in Hollywood remake of King's Speech 0
FraserWords 3 years

Will Smith is to star in a Hollywood remake of the British smash hit The King’s Speech. Smith, who will play King George VI, said: “It will be totally faithful to the original – except for the...

Taliban surrender on hearing that Prince Harry is to return to Afghanistan 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

The leader of the Taliban in Afghanistan, Mohammed Al-Nuttah, today surrendered unconditionally on hearing the news that Prince Harry will return to Afghanistan. 'We can't cope with another visit,'...

Failing Primary Schools to Copy Jihadi Madrassa Model 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

The Secretary for Education said he was impressed with how they turned out motivated individuals ready to make 'make a difference' in society...

Procrastinators Threaten Strike Action ‘Soon’ 21
Quaz 3 years

The National Union of Procrastinators and Slackers has threatened to strike unless their inactions are fully recognised by government and business. At their poorly attended annual general meeting,...

Ryan Giggs getting nervous about arrival of more Fathers' Day cards. 0
DrTurmoil 3 years
Twitter in meltdown as milliions of Londoners tweet that it's raining 0
ronseal 3 years
Problems obtaining life cover delay Zawahiri’s appointment as Al-Qaeda chief 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Government appoints Michael Winner as its NHS Car Crash Czar 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Katie Melua threat level upgraded to 'critical' 1
electricgoose 3 years
Clergymen protest in mass walkout. More soon. 3
dominic_mcg 3 years
Buyer of Northern Rock finds 'Blackpool' written through the middle. 5
be reasonable 3 years
Chinese cows produce human breast milk... 0
be reasonable 3 years

Chinese farms overwhelmed by middle-aged Western males applying for milking jobs...

Ageing hippies campaign for assisted tie-dyeing. 1
be reasonable 3 years
Dyslexic serial killer chokes victims with muesli. 2
be reasonable 3 years
Age of future mummies to determined by the domain of their email address 2
Dumbnews 3 years
Clergymen protest in mass walkout. More soon. 2
dominic_mcg 3 years
Women of the World Unite! 26
Johnny Jeremy Harrelson 3 years

How would a silent sexual matriarchal cabal provide the necessary workable solutions which also may save Mankind in one fell swoop?, By Johnny Harrelson - Tuesday 14 Jun 2011 ...

Royal Mail blame fall in profits on people sending less cash in the post 13
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

The Royal Mail have blamed the sharp fall in profits over the last 12 months on a combination of the loss of some major contracts, a drop in overall mail, and, more significantly, a large decrease in...

Selection of Soul/R&B standards attempt to murder Joss Stone in revenge attack 0
Skylarking 3 years
Jedward held over plot to murder Joss Stone song 3
3 years
Obama calls for Sudden ceasefire reports Guardian 7
virtuallywill 3 years

mare later...

Stephen Hawking completes new book. 'It's about time' says publisher 11
wallster 3 years
New note of sarcasm app for Steven Hawking's voice machine 1
ronseal 3 years
Andy McNab to replace Ed Miliband as Labour seek more recognisable leader 9
OllieP 3 years

Labour has announced today that former SAS soldier and successful novelist Andy McNab is to replace Ed Miliband as Leader in a desperate bid for the party to have a more recognisable figurehead. The...

Bankrupt Spoonerism Society Boss says Barclays are just a wunch 4
Midfield Diamond 3 years

(please don't make me explain)...

Teachers vote to walk-out, told 'NO RUNNING' 4
Ludicity 3 years
Tube strike will bring the entire country to a halt, say London train drivers 0
John Wiltshire 3 years
Gaddafi boycotts Olympics; Netanyahu now favourite for Cluster Bomb gold. 0
tl72uk 3 years