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Pampered posh bloke tells sycophantic parasites that he loves his Grandmother 0
seymour totti 3 years

Headline news somehow!...

Downing Street confirm Cameron is growing "a third arm" 1
grumblechops 3 years

A spokesman for the Prime Minister today officially announced that David Cameron has been growing a third arm from the centre of his chest since early January. The limb is said to be approaching...

ITV apologises for inarticulate subtleties. 5
Ian Searle 3 years

The prohibition is classed by an automobile bleach reconciliation cistern and technicians oar walking on a quack pollution...

Police are under resourced as officers are trained to cut red tape 0
ronseal 3 years

The police are being severely hindered in their jobs as their offices have been over run by a stifling number of red tap cutting machines. Many complain that whenever they try to come out from...

Driving with eyes shut as dangerous as drink driving - latest research 9
ianrbland 3 years

A scientific paper to be published in "Nature" claims to show that drivers who keep their eyes tightly shut could be putting lives at risk. The paper, published following 18 months of intense...

LIberal Democrats call for comfier pavements as homelessness rises 5
The Paper Ostrich 3 years

The Liberal Democrats have urged the Coalition government to take action on sharply rising homelessness by making the nation’s pavements more comfortable to lie down on. Lib Dem peer Shirley...

Supercalifragilisticexpialiwormfood 4
3 years
Jedis disappointed with new 'low-energy' lightsabers 8
Ludicity 3 years

Jedi knights have expressed anger at plans to phase out traditional lightsabers in favour of new, more environmentally friendly models. ‘These new lightsabers are rubbish,’ complained Jedi...

Clarkson agrees with Sarkozy, there are to many french people in France 0
Perks 3 years
Man in dress says gay marriage is wrong 0
grumblechops 3 years
UN worried about "alarming amount of annorexic kids" in Africa 3
paddyparkinson 3 years

Paying off the huge amounts of debts African countries have to western nations, isn't the only problem they have. Health watchdogs have noticed that a large number of kids in African countries are...

Cambridge Council hails success of drive-through brothel ‘Park & Ride’ scheme. 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years
Queen to encourage 'colourful working class characters' to front Diamond Jubilee 0
roybland 3 years

The Queen wants colourful working class characters to play a prominent role in celebrating her Diamond Jubilee, say Palace insiders. 'Her Majesty was greatly taken by Barbara Windsor's (no relation)...

Stelios announces new combined brothel and taxi service, 'Easy Come, Easy Go' 0
Immunis 3 years
Incidents involving Elephants on Trampolines have "gone through the roof". 2
seymour totti 3 years
Harry Redknapp denies link to Monkees vacancy 0
The Nage 3 years
Sat Nav summit cancelled after no-one arrived. More soon. 0
malgor 3 years
Average White Band finally agree to stop going round again 2
grottymonty 3 years

go on, sing along...

Tories plan to match economy of Brazilians by trimming pubic sector 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Entire Twisted Sister back catalogue stolen by crap metal thieves. 2
The Nage 3 years
Workshy benefit scroungers form protest movement 'Occupy Weatherspoons' 1
The Nage 3 years
Failed undercover London cop "Just a muppet on a sting" 0
dvo4fun 3 years

more later...

Support rallies around Chris Tappin in "ageing grandfather show of solidarity" 2
ianrbland 3 years

"He can't possibly have done anything wrong - he's an ageing grey haired grandfather. By definition he must be completely innocent of any wrongdoing - I should know!" said Mr. Mugabe, offering his...

Fears Americans don't get alliteration on 'Super Tuesday' 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Tesco to launch Homeopathic Petrol as part of Value range 0
grottymonty 3 years

As fuel prices continue to soar, Tesco are to extend their Value range to the fuel pump. Head of Value Brand Promotions, Barry Pullover explained, "Obviously, we've been diluting our petrol with all...

BBC launch new nature documentary 'Gay Pride' 4
Psycadelic Squirrel 3 years

The BBC today announced the launch of a new and controversial documentary entitled 'Gay Pride'. The six-part series will follow in the mincing footsteps of gay lions in the heart of Africa. In a...

Chelsea manager's office fitted with revolving door. More managers soon. 0
ianrbland 3 years
Research shows 'Less' is not 'More'. Less later. 0
ianrbland 3 years
iPhone reviewers gear up for 'higher than usual' demand for superlatives. 0
ianrbland 3 years
British Olympic handshaking ban makes life difficult for relay race team. 0
Ian Searle 3 years

To you, to me...