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Premiership will stage season's 1 minute silences "all in one go"

The opening  matches of next season's Premiership will all start with seventeen minute silences or seventeen minutes of respectful applause, in a move to minimise disruption later in the season....

nickb 15.04.12 10:23pm
Banksy Moon peace graffiti fails to stop Afghanistan bloodshed 1
nickb 15.04.12 2:48pm
Empire switches mobile contract to O2 amid Jedi bias allegations

Darth Vader the Dark Lord of the Sith today confirmed that the Imperial Empire have decided to switch their mobile operator from Vodafone to O2 after the company showed allegiance to the Jedi with a...

Rizzo 18.04.12 9:01am
Old Hat
Pall cast over Aintree barbecue after news emerges of death of cow

The first barbecue of the year at 17 Ranham Close, Aintree was tinged with sadness this weekend as the joy of tucking into char-grilled quarter pounder burgers and steak sandwiches was muted by news...

DrTurmoil 16.04.12 6:18am
Chelsea FC: limit on charity donations from the wealthy would kill the club

Chelsea FC joined the clamour of charities claiming that the upper limit on tax relief for donations would kill the club completely. A spokesman said "for a number of years, Chelsea FC has depended...

steve_l 15.04.12 12:15pm
Banksy on Arts funding cuts: 'The writing is on the wall for street artists'

more later. I do apologise. Hat, coat...

dvo4fun 15.04.12 7:14pm
Winston's bogey commemorated 2
charlies_hat 15.04.12 10:22pm
Robin Gibb 'Stayin alive' say his doctors. 0
MADJEZ 14.04.12 11:53pm
Mother in law Gets holiday Gift

Getting my mother-in-law to accept a free foreign holiday was easy. The hard part was convincing her Dignitas was Swiss for spa...

GillsImp 14.04.12 8:38pm
Two candidates put down in race to become Mayor of London

Two well known politicians have died after falling at a major hurdle in the race to become Mayor of London. Conservative Skye Terrier Boris Johnson, and balding Labour bulldog, Ken Livingstone, were...

kga6 14.04.12 8:36pm
Painter declares Love for Girlfriend

He was heard to Say "I love you with all my art"...

GillsImp 14.04.12 6:48pm
Bee Keeper in France Banned from wearing a Veil 0
GillsImp 14.04.12 6:39pm
Missing Grand National winner found in centre of Liverpool on bricks 0
Perks 14.04.12 5:56pm
Mechanics happy to be 'Travel Lodge recommended'

Following years of being ranked by mechanics from The AA and RAC, Hotel group Travel Lodge have decided to start ranking Motor Garages. A maximum of 5 stars can be achieved as mechanics are judged on...

Perks 15.04.12 8:02am
Horoscopes for April

Aries, Next Tuesday will be forever etched in your memory for what will become known simply as "The Talcum Powder Incident". Taurus, You hold a party this month to celebrate the 3rd anniversary of...

seymour totti 16.04.12 7:06am
Peter Andre Uses Urinal Without Camera Crew Present

Publicity-shy Pop superstar, Peter Andre shocked his camera crew yesterday with an un-filmed visit to a public toilet in Camden, whilst on walkabout looking for some adoring fans to feature on his TV...

deluca 14.04.12 12:04pm
Panic measures agreed: blind, dire, sheer, mild, and totally unnecessary 0
weematt 14.04.12 8:35am
Media frenzy as Brad shows Ange his ring 0
Yikes 14.04.12 5:31am
Dominic Littlewood called in after Christian group repeatedly fails to fix gays. 0
Lemon difficult 13.04.12 9:27pm
Lemon difficult
Chocolate bar shortage fear as dyslexics Picnic buy 0
Ian Searle 13.04.12 5:55pm
Ian Searle
Britain applies for Panic Buying to become new event at the Olympics 0
Ian Searle 13.04.12 5:53pm
Ian Searle
Book of First Class Stamps sets record price at Stanley Gibbons auction 0
Scronnyglonkle 13.04.12 4:36pm
Health chiefs “close to a decision” on this summer’s epidemic

Health Secretary Andrew Lansley laughed off claims that the government was shockingly unprepared to cause the necessary levels of panic this summer, hinting that advisers were close to deciding which...

grumblechops 15.04.12 9:56pm
Rogue BBC cameraman shooting passers-by at Salford’s MediaCityUK 0
Nails UK 13.04.12 4:06pm
Nails UK
Man Jailed for Stockpiling Stamps

It is reported that a man was given a 12 month sentence for treading heavily on a victim's foot several times. His defence lawyer said that he had been stockpiling stamps...

GillsImp 13.04.12 3:22pm
Launch Failure Sees Many Question Nth Koreas Dedication to Cause

North Korea has reacted apologetically to the rest of the world after its recent rocket testing failed to launch., "This has never happened before" Kim Jong-Un reticently stated to gathered state...

thisisall1word 13.04.12 5:30pm
Resurgence of blue hedgehog as UK experiences sonic boom 0
beau-jolly 13.04.12 2:13pm
Kim Jong-un first man on the moon

Our beloved government is proud to announce our successful rocket launch, and that our beloved leader Kim Jong-un has safely landed on the moon. Today North Korea has made history, as Kim Jong-un is...

Mr_Johno 13.04.12 2:18pm
Plane crash kills all 377 on board, including everyone in Row 13 0
Oxbridge 13.04.12 1:06pm
North Korean Top Brass desperately seek ZX81 owner

North Korean Minister of Defense, Kim Ho Lau has blamed the wobbly bit that connects the external RAM drive to the ZX81 for the catastrophic failure of the long range missile trial earlier today. ...

Crippen 13.04.12 12:40pm