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House builder goes to the wall. More soon. 2
ianrbland 3 years
Cardboard cutout convention falls flat 1
Psycadelic Squirrel 3 years
Lib Dems plan to target murderous psychopaths with Manson Tax 2
Skylarking 3 years
Apple's new cosmetics app - the iBrowpencil 1
Rootin Tootin 3 years

Its my first attempt...

Viewers thrown into turmoil over which shit to not watch. 4
Haywood Manley 3 years

Reacting to news that ITV's annual celebration of borderline mental illness "Britain's Got Talent" will be aired at the same time as the BBC's new flagship affront to humanity "The Voice UK", many...

'Febreze for tents' masks stench of outdoors with fug of damp council flats 5
3 years

Febreze has launched a new air freshener, aimed at campers who are fed up with stench of the countryside. Available in a range of excitingly familiar odours, ‘Febreze Urbane’ masks even the...

Scottish MP claims fine for drunken brawl is an attack on national culture. 1
MADJEZ 3 years

More Sterotypes the noo, Jimmy. Falkirk MP.,

"Mario Ballotelli needs to grow up", says Babysitter 0
paddyparkinson 3 years
Catholic Church Denies Existence of Normal Priests 6
medici2471 3 years

The Roman Catholic Church has strongly denied that there could be hundreds of hard-working priests in parishes across the UK showing no inclination towards homosexuality or paedophilia. This...

Cardinal Says No to Gay Marriage Proposal 0
Ablative Fabsolute 3 years

“I’m just not ready for that kind of commitment”, said Cardinal Keith O’Brien yesterday as he announced his controversial rejection of life partner Stephen Codrington’s proposal of marriage...

Disco Inferno singer's widow has "no idea" what song to play at his cremation 0
grumblechops 3 years
Journalist sacked after failing to mention hair colour of female murder victim. 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

More implicit sexism soon...

'Mansion tax' will see increase in 'Monopoly Money' 4
Perks 3 years

Hasbro, the makers of the famous Monopoly game, have joined Labour in coming out in support of the Government's proposal for a 'mansion tax'. They have even called for them to go further and...

Spectators shocked by orderly debate at Prime Minister’s Questions 3
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

Spectators in the public gallery at the House of Commons were shocked this week by what has been described as a ‘civilised, grown-up and orderly debate’ on key political issues, with no heckling...

Glut in supply of photos of Harry dancing with scantily-clad women set to worsen 0
Al McHogan 3 years
World Wildlife Fund to set up refuges for battered fish. 0
Al McHogan 3 years

"Apparently a particular problem in Scotland", says spokesman...

World's seabirds "falling". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years

no wonder they're going extinct...

Hamilton improves laptime after pressing the red button 0
gwalker2805 3 years

Unfortunately he had just changed his video feed to Sebastian Vettel!...

Men-only clubs "illegal" says W.I. 0
beau-jolly 3 years

International Women's Day - My arse!...

Judge Lifts Super Injunction on Walkers Crisps Mystery Flavour's identities 0
paddyparkinson 3 years
Sweeney remake leads to growth in cardboard box industry. 0
seymour totti 3 years
Milibands engulfed in siblings discount scandal 0
Boutros 3 years

Even at the peak of the MPs' expenses debacle, the Miliband brothers were routinely claiming a siblings discount wherever and whenever they could, the Parliamentary Scandals Committee revealed today....

Apple to introduce new product prefix. 0
weematt 3 years

Apple Corporation, makers of the iPad and iPod, have announced their intention to launch a new series of products with a new two letter prefix. An Apple spokesperson explained "Successful as 'i' has...

Adoption:Cameron makes it easier to get rid of unwanted children, Clegg worried. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Product branding association formed - uBetterNot 0
weematt 3 years

Leading brand owners have formed an association (uBetterNot) to protect their rights to the use of a symbol (usually lower case alpha ) joined to another (usually capitalised) word. A well known...

Catholic Church excommunicates God: Pope Benedict XVI unrepentant. 0
Shaun McGrath 3 years
Basil Brush tragically gassed in urbane fox cull 0
cinquecento 3 years
The French Foreign Legion seeks independence after Sarkozy comments 1
simonjmr 3 years

Sarkozy to deport himeself in retrospect for his Hungarian Grandfather staying in France. More soon...

Apple in dispute with China over iChing 5
nostra da mouse 3 years

more litigation predicted...

Helen Mirren ready to replace deceased Queen for Diamond Jubilee celebrations 6
Stan 3 years

Following advice from top level contingency planning experts, it is understood that the Government has taken steps to ensure that the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee celebrations will not be marred by her...