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Uk police chief solves case of his own mugging in just one hour

Proof today, as if it were needed, that the UK has the best law enforcement there is. Celebrated Birmingham police chief Bertie Plump reportedly managed to deduce that he had been mugged just one...

0
TobiasBV 09.10.13 8:20pm
TobiasBV
"Everyone's facebook posts are annoying", says every facebook user 0
Dumbnews 09.10.13 7:35pm
Dumbnews
BBC Minus 1 to show programmes “a day before they are finished”

BBC have announced its new “Minus 1” service - a new channel that shows programmes up to a day before they have been completed. "This shows the BBC's commitment to be ahead of the game,"...

8
nickb 09.10.13 6:58pm
Titus
Badgers' leader to give exclusive interview to BBC.. 0
Boutros 09.10.13 6:38pm
Boutros
Carr: "It's Taken Me Months To Perfect My Fake Laugh"

no more, please...

0
Mike Turbine-Hamilton 09.10.13 6:29pm
Mike Turbine-Hamilton
Innovative vegetable grower wins novel peas prize 2
Smart Alex 09.10.13 6:24pm
Squudge
MI5 Chief makes speech from undisclosed lavatory

The head of MI5, Mr Andrew McSmythe, made an impassioned speech from an unspecified lavatory, yesterday. His words echoed the Home Secretary’s in their defence of state secrets. And they also...

2
nickb 09.10.13 5:18pm
nickb
Russians 'Find' drugs on Greenpeace Ship

Russian investigators have reported finding hard drugs on board the Greenpeace ship seized last month during a protest in the Arctic. They also claimed to have found thousands of tons of soft drugs,...

1
Flugelbinder 09.10.13 3:37pm
Flugelbinder
Help to buy scheme extended to season tickets - bringing public transport to all

The government - being always quick to catch on to a vote-winner - is extending it's popular 'help to buy' scheme to those planning to buy an annual season ticket, meaning that potential 'first-time...

0
NewBiscuit 09.10.13 3:35pm
NewBiscuit
Wilshere positions himself for EDL top job

Having been marginalized by Arsene Wenger, since an influx of ‘one migrant German called Ozil’, Jack Wilshere has decided to declare his candidacy for the vacant leadership of the English Defence...

2
Wrenfoe 09.10.13 3:23pm
Jesus H
L'oreal funereal service - 'They were worth it' 0
JimHenson 09.10.13 3:00pm
JimHenson
Christmas To Be Moved To Summer To Avoid Clashing With Football

Also to improve safety for elderly nocturnal sleigh-drivers, with less snow on roofs. However one S Claus [an Eastern-European immigrant worker if ever there was one] has whinged that safety will...

3
Titus 09.10.13 2:54pm
Jesse Bigg
Channel 4 to broadcast Jellyfish Mating, "Box Sex" 0
james_doc 09.10.13 2:42pm
james_doc
Richard II's Death, New Evidence

New historical evidence re Richard II's death in Pontefract Castle, Yorkshire, now proves beyond doubt that he died of a combination of early cricketing and Pontefract Cakes. Hence the runs...

0
Jesse Bigg 09.10.13 2:35pm
Jesse Bigg
Badgers accused of 'Not Playing Fair'

Environment secretary Owen Paterson has defended extending the pilot Badger cull, complaining that whilst the Badgers initially played their part in the exercise, dutifully meandering around their...

0
Flugelbinder 09.10.13 1:41pm
Flugelbinder
'We want more sex programmes' say nation's household pets

Domesticated animals across the country claim they are being severely under represented in post watershed terrestrial programming and have demanded that there be more adult-themed entertainment aimed...

1
Robopop 09.10.13 1:29pm
Titus
Nobel Prize for Medicine Awarded to Bristol Grandmother

Stockholm 9th October – The Nobel Prize committee have announced that this year’s prize for Medicine has been awarded to Bristol resident Edna Sharples. The newest laureate was awarded this...

0
james_doc 09.10.13 1:00pm
james_doc
Brave penectomy patient awarded "No Bellpiece Prize" 0
Sinnick 09.10.13 12:13pm
Sinnick
Outrage as Lib Dem PMs to write off suicide tools under expenses

The Daily Mail has been up in arms this week after several Lib Dem members have admitted to writing off the various tools needed for their impending suicides under MPs expenses. The Mail says it’s...

0
JimHenson 09.10.13 11:56am
JimHenson
"Clear browsing history" to be made 11th Commandment

God has announced He can no longer stand idly by and watch the devastation caused by careless men who walk away from their PCs leaving their wives to gape in horror at the list of sites they've been...

5
sydalg 09.10.13 11:52am
sydalg
Silent church wins No-bell Prize 0
sydalg 09.10.13 11:40am
sydalg
EDL leader quits amid fears Simon and Garfunkel have designs on his wife 0
sydalg 09.10.13 11:36am
sydalg
12 year old from Hackney has mid-life crisis

Benji Hanwell, a 12 year old from Hackney, has had a mid-life crisis. Mates say the change happened suddenly, the moment Benji noticed he was starting to grow a beard. Since, they claim, Hanwell has...

3
TobiasBV 09.10.13 11:25am
TobiasBV
Tock is cheap, says discount watchmaker 0
sydalg 09.10.13 11:22am
sydalg
Queen 'too frail' to carry Commonwealth Games baton across 70 countries 0
custard cream 09.10.13 10:37am
custard cream
Cowell to Launch 'The Hunger Factor'

Following the downward slope of the X-Factor, with ratings dropping quicker than Cowell's label Syco can shed former contestants, the music mogul has come up with a new idea after watching movie 'The...

0
Flugelbinder 09.10.13 10:37am
Flugelbinder
'Shifty-looking' workmen lay perfect tarmac driveway for pensioner

A gang of workmen of a 'shifty' appearance have laid a perfect tarmac driveway for a Sheffield pensioner. 'My suspicions were aroused as they were shifty-looking, dressed suspiciously like workmen...

2
roybland 09.10.13 10:31am
roybland
BBC One +1 to be dedicated Maths channel 0
Sinnick 09.10.13 10:30am
Sinnick
Man says he actually wouldn't mind waking up as a gigantic insect

Retired supermarket worker Gregory Smith says it wouldn't bother him if one morning he woke up to discover he'd metamorphosed into a gigantic insect. 'I can't see it being a problem,' he said. 'A...

4
roybland 09.10.13 10:18am
MagicMike
Coalition to launch Help to Buy Bread Scheme

Chancellor George Osborne is to announce a plan to help people who at the moment can't afford to buy bread. About 60 million people will benefit from the Help to Buy Scheme, details of which have...

0
roybland 09.10.13 10:18am
roybland