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Lance Armstrong admits he's been pedalling for years 4
seymour totti 11.10.12 2:49pm
seymour totti
Sarah Brightman: “Space not as scary as waking up next to Andrew Lloyd Webber”. 0
Tripod 11.10.12 2:39pm
Tripod
After Wonga sponsorship deal,Newcastle manager now expects players to give 4000% 4
JETFAB 11.10.12 2:20pm
custard cream
Armstrong autobiography updated and retitled 'It's Really Not About The Bike'

more as soon as I have finished this blood transfusion to remove the EPO out of my system...

0
custard cream 11.10.12 2:19pm
custard cream
Freddie Starr panics: “I wasn’t there. It never happened. She was over 16”... 0
Tripod 11.10.12 1:59pm
Tripod
Watch Dave - the politician of repeats

[might be a better 1-liner to be discovered; can't find it myself]...

3
Sinnick 11.10.12 1:29pm
moanygit
"Twitter not for me" tweets Hamilton

Seems he's surprised that people read it...

0
Rootin Tootin 11.10.12 1:12pm
Rootin Tootin
TV star who groped Vanessa Feltz in 1990s 'Still has nightmares' 0
antharrison 11.10.12 1:07pm
antharrison
Lib Dems grasp at straws with "Capitulation Nation" slogan.

French Government unimpressed...

0
moanygit 11.10.12 1:04pm
moanygit
Schwarzenegger to star in Toyota Recall 2

more later...

8
virtuallywill 11.10.12 1:03pm
Gerontius
Lab Mice deny autotune claim,

Singing lab mice today lashed out at claims that they had made extensive use of "Autotune" in scientific tests. blaming alvin and the chipmonks for malicious rumour...

1
moanygit 11.10.12 12:39pm
moanygit
No one can hear you sing in space.

Excellent!...

8
Scroat 11.10.12 12:34pm
Sinnick
Hospital claims Jimmy Saville "stroked Mandy Ville". More soon...

No badges for that one, I suspect...

0
NewCriminal 11.10.12 11:09am
NewCriminal
NIKE expresses support for Lance Armstrong with new slogan: "Just Cheat."

NIKE expresses support for Lance Armstrong with new slogan: "Just Cheat."...

0
ght 11.10.12 10:42am
ght
Fairy Tale of the month - The Prime Minister's new policy

Once upon a time in a Kingdom called United, there was a Prime Minister who tried so hard to be one of the 'normal' people he would often find himself looking a little bit silly. One day, The Prime...

8
Perks 11.10.12 10:25am
Yikes
Advertisers find TV audiences pissed off with this, this or even this

alt pet hate: a collective group yell at the end of ads. yay...

0
vertical 11.10.12 10:11am
vertical
Leader of North Korea heads weight-loss initiative to improve own self-esteem.

Kim Jong-un, The Supreme Leader of North Korea, today announced an unprecedented weight-loss initiative, to be immediately instated across the entirety of the impoverished country. An isolated and...

0
MarmiteMedicine 11.10.12 10:04am
MarmiteMedicine
BEADS splinter into BAE EADS

More necklace news later!...

0
victimms 11.10.12 9:50am
victimms
Sponsored by Cash Converters, Liverpool fans sing “You’ll never walk. A loan”... 0
Tripod 11.10.12 9:34am
Tripod
Desperate Savile seeks asylum in Ecuador embassy

Following on from yesterday's vow by Metropolitan Police Commissioner Bernard Hogan-Howe to hunt down alleged serial sex offender Sir Jimmy Savile [i](see NB passim)[/i] and increasing demands that...

5
pinxit 11.10.12 8:48am
pinxit
Carter-Ruck Issues Profit Warning As Dead Celebrity Witch Hunts Continue 0
Nowherefast 11.10.12 8:33am
Nowherefast
Freddie Starr ate my beaver 1
Iscariot 11.10.12 8:17am
B.E.P.
Writers who failed to win July WOTM award call for their subs to be regraded 0
tedweasel 11.10.12 8:05am
tedweasel
Tow Law Town announce Big Dave sponsorship

Northern League Division 2 club Tow Law Town became the latest north-eastern football club to exploit the booming poverty and misery industry as they announced a sponsorship deal with Big Dave, a...

6
johnnydobbo 11.10.12 7:36am
Gerontius
BAE and EADS merger cancelled until pronouncable acronym can be found. 2
Boutros 11.10.12 6:34am
sigmund
Manfred Mann and Van Morrison to launch light removals business 2
Idiot 10.10.12 10:52pm
Boutros
Nigerian Prince baffled by inability to give away USD$6,000,000,000

Amateur philanthropist and Chair of the Nigerian Contracts Awards Service, Prince Joe Magunbani has spoken of his amazement at his failure to give away USD$600,000,000,000 to a total stranger. The...

3
BAJDixon 10.10.12 9:46pm
The All New Jeni B
Home Secretary seeks Savile extradition from Hell

The Jimmy Savile saga took an extraordinary twist today when Home Secretary Theresa May announced she is seeking his extradition from Hell. "In this country, the long arm of the law stretches much...

1
custard cream 10.10.12 7:55pm
Yikes
. 1
sigmund 10.10.12 7:02pm
brd888
Romeo's gravestone goes to Verona landfill as amends to his 13 year old bride 0
cinquecento 10.10.12 6:58pm
cinquecento