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Experts say Alan Turing’s flash drive saved for the nation ‘may be a forgery’ 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Consumers complain ice cream made from breast milk hardens when licked 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Cameron apologies for total failure to organise p*ss up in berwery 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

David Cameron today apologised abjectly for his complete failure to organise a drinks party in a brewery, and promised to learn lessons from it., 'In future,' he said, looking very serious, 'when...

Vanessa Phelps denys she was the inspiration for the slumdog Millionaire 0
3 years

theme song...

Civil war in Libya actually row over different spellings of leader's name 0
acwanaut 3 years
Bin Laden Says Aung San Suu Kyi to Blame 0
acwanaut 3 years

Following accusations by Libyan leader Col Muammar Gaddafi that 'he started it', Osama Bin Laden has begun an international blamestorm by stating that was indeed the fault of Burmese opposition...

Bruce Calls for Winter Break 0
Chunky Monkey 3 years

Steve Bruce the Sunderland Manager has called for a winter Break, stating ‘I, and my team are fagged out after so many games in such a short period during the Festive season. ‘Pin the tail on the...

Panic at Tripoli Airport 0
LostLad 3 years

as stranded passengers run out of change for carpark...

Hague explains delay... 0
LostLad 3 years

rescue planes were sent to Venezuela: sorry!...

Extradition of Assange delayed after William Hague agrees to organise flight 2
Ludicity 3 years

The extradition of Julian Assange to Sweden could be delayed by over a month after Foreign Secretary William Hague agreed to organise his evacuation from the UK. ‘We are doing everything we can...

Scientists Discover That Tory MP's Are An Alien Species From Planet Zorg..... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

.with a Scrooge-like flawed character trait, which translates into a hatred of spending money...

Cameron's Half-Term Adventure Over 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

But still can't decide which Middle East country's sand is the best...

Hague Wins Belly-Laugh Joke Of The Year Award 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

Foreign Secretary, Hague has been awarded the Belly-Laugh Joke of the Year Award after being asked by a BBC reporter why the British government has been so slow in responding to the pleas of British...

Royal wedding Hunger striker calls it off after ivitation card found under pile 5
3 years

of fan mail.After beginning to fast at 11.00pm Thursday night Lord Prescott almost missed his traditional Friday fishes and chips lunch.Talking to the press,he reminded them as a former bulimic it...

Hetrosexual couple shocked after being turned away from B&B in Eastbourne 1
Ian Searle 3 years
Jeremy Kyle asked to ’stand-by’ in possible Libyan hostage exchange. 0
Milo Shame 3 years

Her Majesty’s Government has asked the talk-show host to be ’first reserve’ in case stranded Brits are held as hostages and the Government must bargain for their lives. A Foreign Office...

Easyjet to Introduce Pre-cancelled Flights 3
LizzyG 3 years

In a bold move to reduce the amount of time that passengers spend waiting for flights that never take off, Easyjet are to introduce the pre-cancelled flight. Hours of frustrating and pointless...

Spot betting to be extended to everyday life... 0
Doylem 3 years

Instead of just trying to pick the winner of the 2.30 at Kempton, hopeful punters can now bet on the minutiae of a sporting contest. In football it might be the timing of the first throw-in, in...

Usain Bolt has started smoking, “to give the other runners a chance”... 0
Doylem 3 years

When Usain Bolt won gold in the 100 metres at the last Olympics, he slowed down towards the end of the race, and slapped his chest in premature celebration, yet still managed to set a world record...

Train service promises to improve reliability of their delays 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Best male dancer still worse than worse female dancer, says Men 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Dual Time Zone of 1970’s to be introduced in Scotland 2
charlies_hat 3 years

The govt. has agreed to proceed with a bill proposing that Scotland, along with East Anglia and Cornwall will introduce a permanently recognised dual time zone. Whilst the rest of the UK will...

William Hague sends earthquake rescue teams to Tripoli by mistake. 0
Tammy Flugh 3 years

More confusion soon...

Greggs get word ‘steak’ granted ‘EU Euphemism’ status, for their Steak Bake... 1
Doylem 3 years

“We need to maintain a sense of humour about these things”, said Andrew Farrier, a spokesman for the Greggs chain of bakeries. “Normally, we’d have to tell our customers what’s in our pies...

Colin Firth Mired in Stammerers Row 0
3 years

The actor Colin Firth has become mired in a row which threatens to over-shadow the recent success of the King's Speech. The row began at a Film Industry Awards ceremony when Rob Tibbings broke...

FUTURE NEWS - Jabba the Hutt finds out he is descended from Eric Pickles 1
Ian Searle 3 years

After appearing on Who Do You Think You Are 2525...

Channel 4's 'Balls of Steel' to shelve Gadaffi episode 0
AndyOverhead 3 years

Channel 4 is to indefinitely delay the broadcast of an episode of Balls of Steel, following a 'dare' featuring Colonel Gadaffi, the muppet-faced leader of a North African Nation., "Following a stunt...

Possessive cow spotted in mine field. 8
Zadok the second 3 years
David Beckham in Plane scare as he forgets made up bag. 0
3 years
‘Real fires’ back in demand, as chimney sales go through the roof... 0
Doylem 3 years