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Pessimistic teacher at failing comprehensive always sees the class half empty 3
blacklesbianandproudofit 20.08.13 7:06am
Titus
Police on the alert for MP with principles

Notorious 'tree-hugger' and 'peddler of ethics', Caroline Lucas, has been spotted in the West Sussex area. Law enforcement officials have warned members of the public to avoid contact with her: 'The...

1
Wrenfoe 20.08.13 7:05am
Titus
Tesco launches new "one for the price of two" strawberry promotion. 1
Maverick 20.08.13 7:01am
Titus
Miranda Arrest Protest - 'Her TV Show Wasn't THAT Bad' 0
Titus 20.08.13 6:49am
Titus
Ooh la la! Royal Shocker:

British Security Forces have revealed that even a dead sober driver could be distracted by an energetic performance of the Cairo Cobra in the rear seat...

1
rikkor 20.08.13 6:40am
Arthur
Miliband blames north-south cancer disparity on excessive egg consumption

Egg peltee Ed Miliband has launched a scathing, unprovoked attack on both eggs and northerners in the wake of reports of a stark north-south divide in cancer rates. Rather than use Cancer Research...

0
ChairmanMouth 20.08.13 1:26am
ChairmanMouth
Earliest voice recording find ‘70,000 years old’.

Norfolk farming man Norman Fairchild discovered a groovy, disk-shaped object in a field of potatoes. ‘Took eye, dug up,’ he grunted. When examination by a group of audiophiles, sound engineers...

1
malgor 20.08.13 12:57am
rikkor
No further uncertainty about Schrödinger's cat - last seen near Findus factory 1
sydalg 19.08.13 9:38pm
Titus
"The Press Are Ignoring Me" Says Somebody-Or-Other From The Labour Party 0
Titus 19.08.13 9:35pm
Titus
Mugabe invited to join Man City board

Torturing tyrant Sheik Mansour, owner of Manchester City, has offered disgraced Zimbabwean dictator Mugabe a place on the board. "It's such a shame Pol Pot and Saddam Hussein are dead as we would...

0
19.08.13 9:32pm
Granny's drawers loosened by rubbing a candle on the runners

It's an old trick...

6
Arthur 19.08.13 9:07pm
rikkor
Guardian journalist held for “wearing wrong colour shirt”

A journalist been held at Heathrow by the Guardian Style Editor for wearing a shirt “in a colour associated with last season’s menswear”. He was questioned for eight hours, the maximum...

2
CulchaVulcha 19.08.13 8:45pm
nickb
Welsh crossdresser hides dirty erycrock down below 0
Robopop 19.08.13 5:46pm
Robopop
Man who lives on baked beans finds flatulence will get you nowhere 3
sydalg 19.08.13 5:37pm
FOAD
Chief medical officer admits "I read Daily Mail"

In a shock revelation the chief medical officer, Dame Sally Davies, has confessed to reading the Daily Mail in her youth. "I was on a long train journey and there was a copy just lying on the seat...

1
apepper 19.08.13 4:45pm
AReader
Ichthyologists theorize that carp are just acting koi.

Sorry, had to get it out of my head...

2
rikkor 19.08.13 4:18pm
Lindy Moone
Greece dresses troops in German uniforms and reverse-invades self

Greece has taken radical steps to solve its debt crisis, by declaring itself to be annexed to Germany. Greek prime minister George Papandreou offered a complete and unequivocal surrender to a...

4
19.08.13 11:07am
Yikes
Queen announces hereditary Order of Diana Crash Investigators

With conspiracy and counter-conspiracy theories concerning the famous accident heading into their seventeenth year, Her Majesty has decided to bring all the pomp and pageantry the public has come to...

2
sydalg 19.08.13 10:59am
Wrenfoe
Dresses Dresses Dresses

I'm hoping this will be a spam magnet. See you again in 2 years when it gets bumped. Dresses...

3
NewBiscuit 19.08.13 9:47am
Lindy Moone
Rvealed: Britain's first "Test Card Baby"

A 22 year old man with “weird looking” eyes and “sewn on” hair claimed he is Britain’s first “Test Card Baby”, the result of a long standing on-screen relationship between Bubbles the...

8
CulchaVulcha 19.08.13 9:04am
CulchaVulcha
Dresses Dresses Dresses

I'm hoping this will be a spam magnet. See you again in 2 years when it gets bumped. Dresses...

0
NewBiscuit 19.08.13 8:28am
NewBiscuit
"I'm a celery get me out of here" cries veg item trapped in fruit salad 0
nickb 19.08.13 7:47am
nickb
Grandma Thinks Googling is Sex Act

A local grandmother has become convinced that "the Google" is an amorous maneuver performed during the sexual act of "Googling." After watching a local news segment that profiled young couples who...

0
jmg16 19.08.13 6:20am
jmg16
Cleaning laddies' bedrooms "not women's work" say Glasgow mothers 0
Arthur 18.08.13 11:31pm
Arthur
Typesetter makes new world record bid

Margate Weekly Advertiser typesetter Kevin Hoggs is believed to have set the longest continuous line of IJ ligatures in the history of print. The record, which must remain unofficial pending...

10
Arthur 18.08.13 10:28pm
Arthur
Two women jailed in Coleraine for smuggling Lima beans

Another likely story later...

0
virtuallywill 18.08.13 9:22pm
virtuallywill
Majority of time on facebook spent judging people 0
Dumbnews 18.08.13 9:12pm
Dumbnews
This Summer's top holiday destination...Kurdistan!

Travel experts are advising all refugees to book their dream holiday today! With a world of war-torn locales to choose from; this year's Red Crescent destination is impoverished Kurdistan. With its...

2
Wrenfoe 18.08.13 8:50pm
Jesus H
Rain Likely 1
Paddy Berzinski 18.08.13 7:47pm
Lenny Bee
Katie Price rushed to hospital for removal of premature tabloid headline 0
blacklesbianandproudofit 18.08.13 7:06pm
blacklesbianandproudofit