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David Cameron to appear on Jeremy Kyle...Maybe Loose Women.

Following his successful, if utterly pointless attempt to win over the American public, who don't vote in UK elections, David Cameron has decided to appear on the Jeremy Kyle show in order to appeal...

0
moanygit 27.09.12 7:08am
moanygit
Rowling announces Potter "Directors Cut" to be titled "50 Shades of Harry"

Subsequent Books to be retitled: "50 House elves more" and "Ejaculatium!"...

0
moanygit 27.09.12 6:49am
moanygit
Alternative Comparison Website for Students Announced

The Government has announced plans for a comparison website to allow potential students to easily compare information about universities., Institutions will be graded on key areas such as the...

0
Queen of Tarts 27.09.12 6:00am
Queen of Tarts
Party Conference Season Sees Rise in Wind Farm Output

More hot air soon...

0
Quaz 26.09.12 11:47pm
Quaz
Cinema owners concerned at worldwide shortage of Maltesers.

OMEC, the Organisation of Malteser Exporting Countries, has announced that it would consider increasing production of Maltesers if demand remains high. A spokesman for OMEC said "We do have the...

0
Maverick 26.09.12 10:43pm
Maverick
Lib Dem conference 2013: Clegg reviews policy promises

In his speech to next year’s Lib Dem conference, Nick Clegg pointed proudly to the “very real influence” that his party had had on Coalition policies. “In 2012 we said that pensions could be...

0
Sir Lupus 26.09.12 9:35pm
Sir Lupus
“Go back to your constituencies”, says Clegg, “and prepare for humiliation”... 1
Tripod 26.09.12 8:52pm
Sinnick
Question 1: If a teacher shags underage pupil, how many years can he expect? 29
Tripod 26.09.12 8:39pm
Sinnick
Lib Dems prefer ranting about wealth tax to figuring out how to tax Amazon... 0
deskpilot3 26.09.12 8:33pm
deskpilot3
Plan to train badgers to cull themselves

The Government is considering a plan proposed by the MOD to train badgers to replace marksman by 2015. "We are confident that local badgers are in the best position to spot sufferers of TB and to...

0
apepper 26.09.12 7:59pm
apepper
Lib Dem relief at return to inventing policies they will not need to implement 1
antharrison 26.09.12 7:17pm
Perks
Airforce1 to be fitted with opening windows if Romney wins. 2
sigmund 26.09.12 7:15pm
Perks
School girls to wear burkas...

In Mathis lessons and on ferries...

2
Cinders 26.09.12 7:06pm
notoracism
Hubble telescope gets clearest ever picture of Pippa Middleton's bottom

The Hubble space telescope has spent the last three weeks focusing itself on just one heavenly body - that of Pippa Middleton, sister to royalty. Pippa is best known for her very shapely derriere, as...

0
BaronVonNoodle 26.09.12 6:31pm
BaronVonNoodle
Greek General Strike - Massive productivity rise reported 0
reforse 26.09.12 6:31pm
reforse
Anti-capitalist protesters admit "we were wrong"

The anti-capitalist group Beg For Change have announced that they made an "error of judgement" last year when they took part in the Occupy London demonstrations. The group took past in the protests...

0
BaronVonNoodle 26.09.12 6:15pm
BaronVonNoodle
Mitt Romney to commission world's first convertible plane 0
Psycadelic Squirrel 26.09.12 5:50pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
Cameron sends entire police force on Pleb Awareness course

David Cameron announced that the recent Westminster gate affair had brought to light the need for certain people to become more aware of their behaviour. "I have booked the entire police force on a...

5
MahoganyGas 26.09.12 5:37pm
MahoganyGas
Fed Up Mum Finally Calls Time On 55 Year Old Internet Troll Son

An exasperated 75 year old widow has finally called time on her internet trolling 55 year old son and asked that he move out of the 2 bedroom council flat they share in Leeds. Beryl Duncan said the...

0
26.09.12 5:04pm
Goldilocks appears on 'Who do you think you are'

turns out she has forebears...

0
riesler 26.09.12 4:12pm
riesler
'Drink Courage!' Clegg urges Liberal Democrats 0
DustyBinLaden 26.09.12 4:02pm
DustyBinLaden
Rolling Stones Set To Announce Eagerly Anticipated 2013 "Grim Reaper Tour"

Speculation is growing that the Rolling Stones are set to announce their worldwide “Grim Reaper Tour” to mark their 50th anniversary. Frontman Sir Mick Jagger set tongues wagging a few days ago...

0
26.09.12 3:49pm
Public: "Nick Clegg out of control" 0
Squudge 26.09.12 3:45pm
Squudge
Drone Strike: Queen Bees threaten mass headache if Army is put on standby 0
MahoganyGas 26.09.12 3:33pm
MahoganyGas
Swimmer who disrupted Boat Race sent up Shit Creek... 0
Tripod 26.09.12 3:03pm
Tripod
Tory MPs to be issued with ‘List of people not to piss off’

Despite a disagreement between government Chief Whip Andrew Mitchell and police officers on duty in Downing Street recently, the Metropolitan Police deny that their attitude to dealing with...

2
Midfield Diamond 26.09.12 3:02pm
Deadcode
Andy Williams no longer Almost There 0
Queen of Tarts 26.09.12 2:26pm
Queen of Tarts
Bishop Bell end 0
medici2471 26.09.12 2:21pm
medici2471
Nick Clegg tells conference “This time next year we’ll be Millionaires”

Nick Clegg has delivered a rousing speech to the despondent Liberal democrats on the last day of their conference during which he promised that if they stick with him they would all soon be enjoying...

0
Rizzo 26.09.12 2:13pm
Rizzo
Trenton Oldfield found guilty of having poncey elitist name.

Pots and kettles, Trenton, pots and kettles...

0
wallster 26.09.12 1:43pm
wallster