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Daleks devastated as talks break down for X Factor judging role 2
ronseal 3 years
Decomissioned Daleks to re-enter service as self-collecting wheelie bins 1
3 years
Scholes apologises for retiring during Champions League Final. 1
SingingHinny 3 years
Conspiracy theorists 'Suspicious' that Scholes and Daleks retire on same day 0
antharrison 3 years
Nigeria and Zimbabwe criticise FIFA corruption and electoral processes 0
antharrison 3 years
Can't Be Bothered Tories...... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

To turn rest of UK, outside the Southeast, into a giant, US-style trailer park for the unemployed. "And cash handouts?", "No way, pal. Food stamps only."...

Springwatch team delighted at reintroduction of beaver 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

Springwatch presenters Chris Packham and Kate Humble today said they were 'delighted' at the reintroduction of the beaver to Britain., 'This gives us a whole new range of innuendo,' said Chris. 'For...

FIFA's Jack Warner to return to acting 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

FIFA's Jack Warner today announced that he is returning to his role of Police Sergeant George Dixon of Dock Green police., 'This will be a break with the past, and a new opportunity,' he said. 'I...

William Hill stop taking bets on outcome of FIFA presidential election 0
Mr Payne 3 years

Another take on the theme. As opposed to being 'on the take'...

U.N. Peacekeepers to monitor FIFA's presidential election 0
Mr Payne 3 years
Bangladesh surgeon replaces severed penis with infected cucumber. More soon. 2
Al OPecia 3 years

Thanks to charlies_hat...

Mladic transfer to The Hague on hold after Chelsea express an interest 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Killer cucumbers: ‘don’t eat them sideways’ advises WHO 1
jp1885 3 years
Wembley officials say Man Utd to turn up for Champions League Final ‘imminently’ 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Crisis deepens for Gaddafi after his wife defects to President Zuma 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Global food prices to double as Waitrose announces international expansion plan 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Giles Brandreth ‘significantly plummier’ than previously thought 0
jp1885 3 years

Scientists monitoring the condition of British television personality Giles Brandreth have discovered that the erudite writer, broadcaster and former Monopoly champion has reached hitherto...

Genecically altered diet cucumber show promise in beta trials. 0
Erlang 3 years

German scientists are claiming a new weightloss cucumber is show startling results in early beta trial. Dr Gunter Prien explained that working from the basis that cucumber is already one of the...

Dr Christian targets fatties in "Embarrassing Bodies When Compared to Mine" show 0
SingingHinny 3 years

Dr Christian Jessen, the seat-wettingly buff GP from TV programme “Embarrassing Illnesses” is to front a new channel four programme called ‘Embarrassing Bodies When Compared to Mine’ which is...

Sensationalist headlines could wipe out mankind 1
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years
Bangladesh surgeon replaces severed penis with menacing Doberman 0
charlies_hat 3 years

any more substitute suggestions?...

Germans Protest Against Reliable Electricity Supply. 0
mr blue 3 years

"Nuclear power is dangerous," said a spokesman, "So we'll buy it from the French."...

And the new FIFA President is... Qatar 0
Gary Baldy 3 years

More idle Blatter later...

Naomi Campbell 0
arthurminnit 3 years

Fading supermodel Naomi Campbell has taken umbrage at another food related product., Fresh from accusing Cadburys of racism for comparing a chocolate bar with a spoilt, overpaid, self important...

Spanish e-colicumber granted EU protected status 0
button 3 years

yum, morishsoon...

Jack Warner stuck in a corner 0
jp1885 3 years
Fox network cancels Space Shuttle program: NASA fake film unit faces axe 0
3 years

Amidst rising studio costs and soaring public awareness of CGI, NASA announced an end to their fake film unit this week. "We're not sure we can carry this subterfuge any further", claimed Director...

FIFA to outlaw own goals 0
roybland 3 years
Bangladeshi victim slams over-literal intepretation of Hide the Sausage 0
pthr 3 years
Really geeky Klingon ostracised for learning English. 0
bonjonelson 3 years

latlh' DaH...