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Masterchef judges 'need bath' 2
3 years
Luton based mineral water supplier to TM 'Arab Spring' name 0
MagnusOpum 3 years
UN confounded by Argentinian anger at Twitter speed camera issues... 0
MagnusOpum 3 years

in Mercosur mix-up...

New academy to open to give professional footballers the essential 3 R's 0
simonjmr 3 years

Rape, Racism and Rogering your brother's wife / wife's sister More soon...

Mass evacuation after LUSH store goes into partial meltdown 8
Skylarking 3 years, [center][i]Cross section of cheekily suggestive-looking LUSH Valentines bath bomb[/i][/center]...

Woman spends £1m with Levi's trying to create her own jean pool 2
Perks 3 years
UK deport deficit renews concerns of boom and bust 0
cinquecento 3 years
Tabloids frustrated by "Bankers Bonus" being spoonerism-proof. Sore moon. 1
Al OPecia 3 years
Whales "stressed" by slow rural broadband speeds 0
simonjmr 3 years

Whales and Dolphins are becoming increasingly stressed and agitated at the lack of availabilty of superfast broadband connections in their locales. Now, researchers have measured stress hormones in...

Jedward switched at birth: pop world in turmoil 9
ianslat 3 years

The world of popular music was plunged into chaos today following the revelation that annoying Irish twins Jedward might have been switched at birth. Fellow Irish pop music idiot Louis Walsh...

Government Poll shows most OAPs happy using freezer to heat home 0
RJWinter 3 years

A Government Spokesman said today:, "We are very happy about the recent poll results. It shows, as expected, that most of the elderly have taken to the idea of heating there homes by opening the...

Religious Community Argues For Devil Worship To Be Taught In Schools 3
Textbook 3 years

Theists, predominantly Christians, have long argued for creationism to be taught in schools alongside evolution, in order to have both sides of the story told. But skeptics have pointed out that...

Acquisition of nunnish underpinnings no longer apt as measure of masculine charm 0
FlashArry 3 years

[ according to a Vatican City source ] more Papal Bull soon...

Dyson set to cash-in on the attic with new product 1
dvo4fun 3 years

[Edited re-sub. - thanks for comments. 300 words lost] James Dyson came to prominence with his 1990s 'Cyclone technology' vacuum cleaner which eliminated not only bags but also effective cleaning...

Swindon opera spawns host of other unlikely cultural events 3
Clarky 3 years

Following the news that an opera has been commissioned in praise of the architectural beauty and vibrant cultural life that is the Wiltshire backwater, Swindon (twinned with Salzgitter), a rash of...

Quiet zone on train infiltrated by noise-making contingent. 2
Worth 3 years

A train-travelling man was left mildly perturbed after a group of up to four humans entered the designated quiet zone on a train and showed little, almost zero, respect for the zone’s esoteric...

Backpacker plans journey sitting at computer clicking websites of countries 0
Dumbnews 3 years

Based on this website:

Jesus Christ seen shopping in Morrisons 0
roybland 3 years

Jesus Christ has been spotted shopping in a branch of Morrisons by a sixty-year-old ex-nun. The report follows news that David Cameron recently dropped into a Morrisons branch on his way home from...

New stock tip suggests doing opposite to what everyone else does 0
Dumbnews 3 years

and you will be right 50% of the time...

Northern Ireland braced for mass street parties if Paisley doesn't pull through. 1
MADJEZ 3 years


Long lost Intelligent Arctic life asks "Is the Leveson Inquiry Still Going on?" 0
ronseal 3 years
Disgraced Banker says “Go Fuck Yourself” to The Queen 0
hokeycokey 3 years

In a surprise move that has confounded his critics, ex-RBS chief Fred Goodwin has sent a series of unequivocal messages to the Queen in response to the inglorious removal of his knighthood. “LOL...

Syria latest; Ideal Homs Exhibition cancelled. 6
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years
Police 'should have helped Prescott set phone PIN' rules Prescott 0
3 years
'Anfield Cat' awarded man of the match 4
Psycadelic Squirrel 3 years
Isle of Wight announce celebration plans for Queen's Silver Jubilee 0
andhrimnir 3 years
Jury in Harry Redknapp Case Finds Him Not Guilty.... 0
custard cream 3 years

But gives a nine month suspended (by a lead) sentence to his dog, Rosie...

Jim Davidson supports Terry's decision not to quit England 0
simonjmr 3 years

Jim Davidson has today spoken out in support of John Terry's decision not to quit England. The Nick Nick "acceptable face of racism" comic is on record in 1997, "that he would quit England, if the...

Increase in CofE funeral charges blamed on cost of living 0
Sinnick 3 years
Man emerges from bunker to learn Cod War is over 0
hughesroland 3 years

After spending more than four decades underground, Harold Smith, 82, emerged from his bunker yesterday to learn the country was no longer at war. 'We all thought it was the end,' said Mr Smith, a...