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Environment Agency to float on the stock market 3
Kevin the Swan 04.02.14 12:10am
Bible ceases print edition, now beamed straight into people's heads by God

The environmental lobby is celebrating today as the last hard copy edition of the Word of God rolls off the press. It is estimated that the paper alone was costing the planet an acre of trees a day....

sydalg 03.02.14 9:52pm
Tories 'running out of people to call Marxist'.

Reports were unfolding of a crisis in the Tory party this afternoon, after claims of there being a severe shortage of people who they haven't already upset by referring to them as 'Marxists'. Having...

Electrelane 03.02.14 8:02pm
'No lasting damage done in Somerset' says thankful Environment Minister

Owen Patterson’s valet claims it took him nearly an hour to polish the Environment Minister’s brogues following his recent visit to the Somerset flood plains., The valet told the Commons Expense...

Gerontius 03.02.14 6:42pm
Jesus H
SNP aims high to win Scottish independence.

Health was today thrust firmly to the forefront of the campaign for Scottish Independence by SNP leader Alex Salmond. In a press conference at a chip shop in Glasgow he announced that as soon...

godly1966 03.02.14 6:12pm
Contrary Barber sacked for Splitting Hairs! 0
Njinski 03.02.14 5:24pm
Astrologer predicts we'll "see less Hoffman" in 2014 0
sydalg 03.02.14 5:20pm
Govesworth he sa, mak state skools like st custards chiz

Michael govesworth the educashun secretry hav told everybode he wants to brake the 'Berlin Wall' between state skools and his alma mater st custards which was founded by a mad man in 1836. This could...

Oxbridge 03.02.14 5:17pm
Seymour Hoffmans family touched as stars spend seconds Tweeting 'OMG/WTF'. 1
MADJEZ 03.02.14 5:14pm
rob box
Oops 2
sydalg 03.02.14 5:01pm
Newsbiscuit to be renamed Govebiscuit 0
james_doc 03.02.14 5:00pm
Gove to test children 'before birth'

Michael Gove has caused controversy with new plans to test embryos on basic skills. The under-fire education secretary said of the plans, 'it is vitally important that we do not let our children fall...

Electrelane 03.02.14 4:51pm
Manuel Pellegrini to manage England cricket team and UK economy in spare time 0
farmer giles 03.02.14 4:46pm
farmer giles
Chuckle Brother in Menage a Trois with DLT

To me, to you, etc...

james_doc 03.02.14 4:29pm
David Cameron Completes Necknomination

Less than 24 hours after being nominated by Ken Clarke, Prime Minister David Cameron has taken to Facebook to complete his necknomination - as is required in the rapidly viral game on the social...

james_doc 03.02.14 4:22pm
Giles - 'I'm rubbish enough to coach England'

Ashley Giles hit out angrily at critics earlier today who suggested that he wasn't a bad enough cricketer to coach the England team. Giles was stung by claims that he was 'too good' to maintain...

Electrelane 03.02.14 4:02pm
custard cream
It's a no to Yeo as local Tories tell ex Minister to go 0
custard cream 03.02.14 3:59pm
custard cream
Minister urges noisy lovers to "stop moaning" 0
sydalg 03.02.14 3:54pm
Cameron, Clegg and Osborne to star in new C4 documentary, ‘The Unrelateables’

Channel 4 have announced their Spring schedule today, confirming that viewers will be treated to a unique documentary that explores the gap in lifestyles between MPs and 'regular people' ‘The...

Jesus H 03.02.14 3:20pm
Jesus H
Tube strike welcomed by Ed Balls: "Economic recovery? I don't think so!"

The breakdown of last minute talks between London Mayor Boris Johnson and RMT union leader Bob Crow were hailed as "Fantastic news" by Shadow Chancellor Ed Balls this afternoon. The 48 hour tube...

Son of Barnabas 03.02.14 3:02pm
Son of Barnabas
Michelle Pfeiffer has silent pee 3
godly1966 03.02.14 2:56pm
C4 to launch new celebrity reality show: The Dump

Almost forgotten and never-quite-made-it “celebrities” have been straining themselves to take part in C4’s new show, The Dump., A Celador Productions spokesman explained that the new show will...

beau-jolly 03.02.14 2:15pm
Son of Barnabas
JK Rowling: "Harry would have married Ron if I could have stood the extra rain"

Harry Potter author, JK Rowling, has told an interviewer that Harry should have ended up marrying Ron. "They were made for each other, and that was my original plan, but living in Scotland we get...

apepper 03.02.14 2:10pm
archeopteryx catches the worm 9
Smart Alex 03.02.14 2:09pm
Son of Barnabas
Looe not flushed, again

Bryter later...

virtuallywill 03.02.14 1:59pm
Housing bubble unlikely to burst any time soon say forecasters 0
davetwojackets 03.02.14 1:43pm
Respite centre to take a break from itself 0
davetwojackets 03.02.14 1:40pm
Plastic surgery increases blown out of proportion 0
davetwojackets 03.02.14 1:37pm
Norovirus ‘deliberate ingredient of new dessert recipe for bulemics’ says Heston


farmer giles 03.02.14 1:02pm
farmer giles
Call of the wild to be recorded for training purposes 1
sydalg 03.02.14 1:01pm