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Search engine 'BURGLE' launched 0
weematt 3 years

NedWeb, a web consultancy engaged by the Home Office to develop software that allows victims of crime to meet and confront the criminals who victimised them, has launched a new search engine called...

US/UK "special relationship" soured over regifting error 0
Nails UK 3 years

White House sources last night revealed that the table tennis table which UK Prime Minister David Cameron had given as an official gift to US President Barack Obama had been found to be still...

Terry Pratchett "can't remember if he supports euthanasia any more" 0
Nails UK 3 years
World’s fattest man collapses and forms black hole 0
Nails UK 3 years

Keith Martin, at 58 stone (369 kg) the world’s heaviest man, collapsed yesterday in his bedroom forming a small black hole. One of his carers, Carmen Furbita, described how the tragedy unfolded....

'Same sock' marriages will cure odd sock problems, scientists claim. 1
Not Amused 3 years
Eastenders measles jab storyline causes rash of complaints 0
Nails UK 3 years
New earth-like planet discovered at car boot sale 2
Nails UK 3 years
'I fucked your phone', Russell Brand tells photographer 0
jp1885 3 years
Classical Brit Awards: Andre Rieu accused of fiddling result 0
Nails UK 3 years
Wardrobe inspector quits after beating from jealous husband 14
jp1885 3 years

Britain’s only wardrobe inspector has announced that he is hanging up his tool after the ‘umpteenth’ beating from a jealous husband left him with several fractured ribs and serious facial...

Chief Druid announces shock resignation 0
Lemon difficult 3 years

Aegberd Williams the controversial archdruid of Glastonbury startled the religious community today with the announcement that he will give up his role to take up the position as Master of St Olaf...

Hacking latest: Lord Leveson arrested. 0
weematt 3 years

Lord Justice Leveson was arrested late in the afternoon just as he was returning from horseriding near his Chipping Norton mansion. It is understood that he had been out riding with a group of...

Richard Dawkins to be new Archbishop of Canterbury 0
apepper 3 years

The general synod of the Church of England is expected to approve Richard Dawkins as the new head of the Church of England. A spokesman explained; "Whereas most of the candidates prevaricated over...

Ryanair win contract to supply Cameron with Eire-Force One jet 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Did United and City throw Europa Cup to concentrate on title race? 0
Boutros 3 years

No. they were beaten fair and square. Now move on...

Osborne - 50% rate cut - "Champagne's not getting any cheaper". 1
ianrbland 3 years

More [i]hic[/i] soon...

Cameron in court after lost luggage claim on Air-Force one. 0
ianrbland 3 years

The Prime Minister, Mr. David Cameron and his Wife Samantha are to be taken to court by his travel insurers after submitting a fraudulent claim for lost luggage after flying on Air-Force one....

Archbishop of Canterbury quits in protest at treatment of Russell Brand 0
The Paper Ostrich 3 years

Dr Rowan Williams has resigned as Archbishop of Canterbury in protest at the 'heavy-handed' treatment of Russell Brand by the US police, Lambeth Palace has announced. Dr Williams, 61, is said to...

Crowd in shock as Carrie Oakey finally turns up for a gig. More soon... 0
ianrbland 3 years
God accepts Archbishop's resignation but demands he clears his altar at once 0
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years
Sequal to Dustin Hoffmans HBO Drama Luck, to be titled "Dogfood and glue" 0
Iamthestig 3 years

Another program where gamblers can winalot!...

Birthdays banned at Scotland Yard following fat police survey 0
kimllfixit 3 years

Possession of illegal substances now to include 'cake'...

Harry Redknapp being considered for Archbishop of Canterbury vacancy. 0
The Nage 3 years
'Jaunt Man Cameron' Gets An Earfull From Cleggy..... 2
Jesse Bigg 3 years

."How come I have to do the housework while you swan off on another easy jaunt? Mr Fake Tan Man!"...

Long term unemployed to get positions in Coalition Government 0
ianrbland 3 years

In a further bid to reduce unemployment levels the government has announced a new policy of creating new, but meaningless positions within the coalition government and appointing some of the longer...

Tories trump Labour jobs pledge with a job a uniform and a rifle 0
yussle 3 years
Husband awarded D- in DIY assessment, takes-up DIY 1
antharrison 3 years

Despite promising to undertake the vast array of DIY tasks assigned by his wife, avid golfer Andy Ariston has been awarded a D- by his wife for the pathetic progress made in the tasks and the...

Pips will pop, advise surgeons 0
Immunis 3 years
Controversial new face implants raise a few eyebrows 2
quango 3 years
Fathers For Justice support campaign for 'some sex' marriages 4
cinquecento 3 years