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Under pressure May to deport Timmy Mallett instead

Under fire Home Secretary Theresa May has told the House of Commons that following their inability to deport Abu Qatada to Jordan the Government has commenced proceedings to deport Timmy Mallett to...

ianslat 24.04.12 12:50pm
Footballers union : "Can Rangers transfer ban include other clubs ?"

A representative of the Millionaires Branch of the Professional Footballers Union has welcomed the recent 12 month transfer ban on Rangers, but claims that this does not go far enough, and should be...

FlashArry 24.04.12 9:29pm
Met. Office admit manipulating weather using reverse psychology 0
Psycadelic Squirrel 24.04.12 12:25pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
New lavatory endurance record set by boy with games console

An 11-year old boy has beaten the previous record for sitting on a toilet after spending an entire weekend in the smallest room. Grabbing his Nintendo DS, Jack Connolly announced that he was...

Midfield Diamond 24.04.12 4:01pm
Weather "unusually average" claims met office

The UK is undergoing a record breaking spell of typical weather; "The weather hasn't been this typical since 1934, and that was unusually usual.", explained a met office spokesman...

apepper 24.04.12 2:24pm
Amazon apoligises over mixed up order for 2 baskets

Adding a basket to the basket can cause confusion, as Mrs T discovered., "These Rush Baskets are very nice, but I got a bit Hampered by the terminology of the ordering dept., I needed to order 2...

Rowly 24.04.12 3:05pm
Nails UK
NASA plan to launch pasty into space denounced as "Pie in the Sky" 2
Sinnick 24.04.12 12:12pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
Body in bag spy disliked MI6 ‘being padlocked inside a holdall’ culture

The spy found dead in a padlocked holdall hated the ‘flash sports bag and leathery confinement culture of the MI6’ , according to reports. Gareth Williams, 31, told his sister, Ceri Subbe, he...

Gary Stanton 28.04.12 2:03pm
Home Secretary deports “fanatical” Abu Qatada to Geordieland

Home Secretary Theresa May yesterday confirmed that fanatical Muslim cleric Abu Qatada has been deported to Newcastle. The move happened on Tuesday last week, with immigration officials whisking Mr...

Yikes 24.04.12 1:26pm
Midfield Diamond
'Wife's voice' option to be available on TomTom's new 'Sat Nag' 4
Haywood Manley 24.04.12 5:51pm
Newham Council outsources Social Clensing to every other Tuesday 0
Scronnyglonkle 24.04.12 10:08am
Chicken Cottage issues profit warning on news of social cleansing 0
Old Hat 24.04.12 7:36am
Old Hat
Rangers blue 'cos Whyte's in the red 4
charlies_hat 24.04.12 8:57am
Englishness celebrated by lauding Macedonian who slayed mythical beast 0
Old Hat 24.04.12 7:05am
Old Hat
Cameron not posh, knows price of milk; One guinea from Fortnum & Mason. 0
MADJEZ 24.04.12 2:33am
Hitler Hologram to tour this summer 0
Hooch 24.04.12 1:31am
Have you been charged excessive fees to claim back PPI, call this number..... 0
MADJEZ 23.04.12 10:26pm
Charities consider snipers for London Marathon after tragedy proves lucrative. 2
MADJEZ 24.04.12 8:49am
Markets plunge on possibility of Frenchman being elected

Traders took fright after the first round of the French presidential elections. There are persistent rumours that front-runner Francois Hollande might be French rather than Dutch as previously...

ErikP 23.04.12 9:31pm
Shakespeare "too posh" to be leading playwrite says Tory MP

Maverick Tory spokesperson, Nadine ("Our Doris") Dories slammed upper crust wordsmith William Shakespeare for being out of touch with ordinary people., [quote]Once he wrote [i]"Now, in the names of...

ErikP 23.04.12 9:25pm
Spectrum anniversary wrecked as hackers snap out cassette tabs 0
cinquecento 23.04.12 5:28pm
Nick Griffin to 'camp it up a bit' following success of Marine Le-Pen 0
Mandy Lifeboat 23.04.12 4:54pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Dangerous fish to be chipped

Sorry weematt!...

bonjonelson 23.04.12 4:48pm
Shakespeare recognised by digital marketing guru for his 'compelling content'

The birthday of one of Britain's greatest writers of 'compelling content' has been marked by Tim Crowley, Britain's leading digital marketing creative. "I've no doubt that is Shakespeare was alive...

ronseal 24.04.12 2:25pm
Germany starting World War III, “looking less likely.”

Following the success of extreme Right Wing candidate Marine Le Pen in the French election and growing fears over Iran’s plans for their uranium enrichment plants fears that the Germans will start...

Hooch 23.04.12 4:42pm
30 years on Sinclair Spectrum owners still wait for Manic Miner to load. 0
MADJEZ 23.04.12 4:36pm
RIP: Betty's Hot Pot

Thousands of Coronation Street fans were in mourning over the weekend over the loss of one of the programme’s favourite stars. Viewers wore black clothes and armbands to mark the passing of one...

Mark Gregory 23.04.12 4:16pm
Mark Gregory
Dogs to have chips. Cat owners ask if they can have the fish. 5
weematt 07.02.13 1:48pm
Man with team of archers and a gigantic catapult may have had "siege mentality'

A man dressed in chainmail, with a massive sword, an enormous catapult capable of firing boulders and a team of archers was accused of developing a siege mentality yesterday, after he tried to cut...

ronseal 23.04.12 3:50pm
Muamba goes down too easily, claims Ashley Young

Friend of Ashley Young have defended him against charges of diving, saying that other footballers go down far more easily. "I saw an incident with Fabrice Muamba where the bloke went down like a...

ronseal 23.04.12 3:36pm