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Jimmy Carr's "Laughter Therapy Tour" cures audiences all over the UK 1
JohnA 3 years
Liz Hurley wins bet for turning fat Aussie into suave twat 0
grottymonty 3 years

more beige slacks later...

Keira and Kate stand together: 'On average we have the perfect figure'. 0
martin2381 3 years
NHS management changes to be scrapped in favour of anarcho collectivism 0
grottymonty 3 years

Following the recent review of the Conservative reforms of the NHS funding structure, the Department of Health has confirmed that the new system will be based loosely on the early Spanish Anarchist...

Man finds himself in self-storage unit 2
beau-jolly 3 years
Non ce our fault say L’Oreal 1
Gerontius 3 years

The makers of L’Oreal anti-ageing beauty cream have recalled all remaining stocks from the shelves after some users of the product complained they had become targets for paedophiles and child sex...

Concern over salt levels in salt 4
rickwestwell 3 years

Following revelations that many popular foods such as bread contain too much sodium, scientists have discovered that a popular household food - salt - actually contains levels of salt well in excess...

Study says endlessly repeating the phrase 'engaging content' isn't very engaging 0
ronseal 3 years
Encourage looters to stay indoors all day by making them police says Think Tak 8
ronseal 3 years

The best way to make young men stay indoors all day not getting involved in any trouble is to give them a job in the police force, says a new report from Zeitgeist Think Tank. Zeitgeist researchers...

e.e.cummings grandson banned from internet writer's forum. 1
rebel not taken 3 years

g.g.cummings, grandson of e.e.cummings, has again been suspended from an internet writer's forum. His 'work' has continually been rejected because of it's odd typography, erratic punctuation and...

German holiday industry in panic after leading towel manufacturer goes bust 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years
New Torchwood scripts to be titled Doctor Who in hope to generate interest 0
simonjmr 3 years
Oprah to send millions of self-help books to starving Somalians 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Mel Gibson now gets what women want, designer handbags 0
Dumbnews 3 years
From Refried Beans to Used Bog Roll 1
Glib Hemingway 3 years

Witness this, a common scene in the Mexican cantina – a man suddenly convulses and spews his food all over the terracotta tiling. ‘Jesus! Jesus! What’s wrong?’ asks his concerned wife....

FTSE in turmoil as stock market dice "misplaced". More soon. 1
Al OPecia 3 years
Mussolini's lost uniform found in Gaddafi's bedroom. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Gadiffi: We Fight On To The Last Drop Of Your Blood 0
Wheelright 3 years

"we will fight to the end," said Colonel Gadaffi speaking from his luxury bunker just outside Harare. " Rise up and cleanse Tripoli of the rats, and let me know how it went but don't 'phone after...

Dying man regrets having so many regrets 2
Dumbnews 3 years
The Great Dorset Pikey-fest gets off to a flying start 4
beau-jolly 3 years

As the annual Great Dorset Pikey-fest gets underway, organisers are already hailing this year as the most successful ever., Up to a fortnight prior to the gates opening, roads around the area were...

Fractious Twins Snatched And Taken Into Care By Hertfordshire Social Services 0
Duff 3 years

Fears are growing over the whereabouts of twin Irish imps, John and Edward Grimes, after they were sensationally snatched from a house in Boreham Wood, Herts, earlier this morning by Hertfordshire...

Libya launches new book series "Where's Gaddafi?". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Daily Mail celebrates greatest doublethink yet. 3
aug24 3 years

Editors, journalists and staff at the Daily Mail were celebrating today, as Editor-in-chief Paul Dacre showed off the quality of doublethink now available at the paper. "Simultaneously calling for...

Cider visors: “The new beer goggles” 0
beau-jolly 3 years

The difference between a dog and a fox? 7 pints. Oh, how we laughed all those years ago...

Paolo Di Canio blames ex QPR striker for defeat of Fascism in Swindon. 0
rebel not taken 3 years

Swindon Town manager Paolo Di Canio has launched a scathing political attack on centre forward Leon Clarke after their Carling Cup defeat by Southampton. The striker, who was recently 'released' by...

The Future's Orange All Right For Dickinson As 'Duke' Signs Real Deal 0
Duff 3 years

Antiques expert and ex-con, David (The Duke) Dickinson, has signed a lucrative sponsorship deal and and is to become the new face of creosote manufacturer, Ronseal, in a soon to be rolled-out...

Gaddafi caught by charity volunteer with clipboard 3
Psycadelic Squirrel 3 years

Reports just in from Tripoli suggest that fugitive warlord, and occasional drag queen, Colonel Gaddafi has finally been apprehended. It seems that a volunteer for a well known charity trapped Gaddafi...

Manufacturers ready production lines for 59W lightbulbs 2
bonjonelson 3 years
Sweet smell of success for Portaloo campaigners 3
Gerontius 3 years

A Glastonbury Portaloo toilet cabin thought to have been used by some of the world’s leading rock stars has been saved from demolition following a successful on-line campaign by public toilet...

Mikel Arteta manages to dot the I and cross 2 T's by 11.00pm deadline 0
grottymonty 3 years

The transfer of Mikel Arteta from Everton to Arsenal was on a knife edge right up to the 11.00pm deadline. "The clubs had agreed a fee, the agents bungs were paid, the players net salary and image...