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Irony To Be Phased Out, Says PM

David Cameron, the coalition Prime Minister, has announced that irony is to be phased out. ‘Frankly we should have done it years ago,’ he told NewsBiscuit, suggesting that sarcasm should be...

throngsman 02.03.14 1:26pm
Concerns mount over disappearance of Ben the Flowerpot Man

Ben the flowerpot man, one half of the kiddies’ iconic duo, Bill and Ben, has gone missing just days before the launch of their new series. A spokesman for Cbeebies commented, "We're all gutted...

Duff 02.03.14 1:10pm
Consumers Association Monopoly Should Be Broken, Says Which?

Which?, the consumer campaigning group run by the Consumers Association, has slammed its own industry in a scathing report out today. 'We decided to see if consumers were being offered enough choice...

throngsman 02.03.14 1:06pm
Virgin Mary appears Before Children. Asks them if they’ve been mis-sold PPI 0
deceangli 02.03.14 1:02pm
Pupils to Study Maths, English and Needlework Until Aged Sixty, Says Cameron

On the heels of the Labour Party announcement that all schoolchildren will have to study English and Maths until they are eighteen, even if it means leaving work to continue their education, the...

throngsman 02.03.14 11:39am
Competition Authority to investigate size of Brucie Bonuses back in the 1980s

The 86 year old TV presenter Bruce Forsyth has denied any responsibility for the excesses of the decade. However he has admitted, “It’s true there was a lot of money to be made, if you played...

Ian Searle 02.03.14 11:33am
Ian Searle
Putin promises to be tough on Crimea, tough on the causes of Crimea. 11
MADJEZ 02.03.14 10:57am
France Surrenders "Just in Case"

Despite not being under any kind of threat, the French Government surrendered today. "It was all this talk of 1914, I suppose", said one minister. "Somebody said 'hey, what if the Germans or...

deceangli 02.03.14 10:14am
Ghost Numbers Rise as Dead Return to Clear Emails

There has been a sharp rise in restless spirits roaming the earth, according to paranormal investigator Darren Hanson. “We know that a ghost or spirit remains connected to the mortal realm because...

deceangli 02.03.14 10:09am
Deal or no deal? Tension builds as Noel in talks to bring back House Party

Beardy cosmic ordering barmpot, Noel Edmonds, is rumoured to have been in talks with The BBC to recommission the 90s Saturday evening prime time entertainment juggernaut, Noel's House Party. Wearing...

Duff 02.03.14 9:51am
Cameron uses Merkel photo op to win bet with Johnson

PM David Cameron showed his lighter side today during an informal meeting with Chancellor Angela Merkel in No 10's upstairs flat. Downing Street insiders say that Cameron had a wager with London...

pinxit 02.03.14 9:08am
Ukraine: West Declines To Get Involved

Ikraine, Ukraine, Hekraines, Wekraine, Ukraine, Theykraine I protest, You riot, They cause constitutional upheaval, I put troops on standby, You engage in military exercises, They invade [i]And...

Titus 02.03.14 8:48am
Putin Declines Obama Offer to Conjugate

Tip o't 'at t' Titus...

BewsNiscuit 02.03.14 8:47am
Light Brigade probed by FSA for "hidden charges" 0
sydalg 02.03.14 2:11am
Gove threatens teachers with genital mutilation

Intimidation by the Secretary of State for Education was ratcheted up this week, with the promise of graphic images of sexual disfigurement being sent to schools. One teacher reported having already...

Wrenfoe 02.03.14 12:41am
Ref Minor
Putin steadfast You-kraine if you want to, the lady's not for 'kraining. 0
MADJEZ 02.03.14 12:27am
Many armed men seen near Chernobyl 10
Bigglesworth 01.03.14 11:41pm
Ukraine - Thought For The Day: "There's No Disputin' With Mr Putin". 1
Titus 01.03.14 11:17pm
Russian Troops Restore Order: "There's No Longer Any Independant Crime 'Ere". 0
Titus 01.03.14 10:46pm
TOWIE star Joey Essex offers to mediate in Ukraine conflict

I'm a Celebrity and TOWIE star, Joey Essex, has broken his silence and has waded into the current Ukrainian crisis offering to mediate between "Moscow and them uvver geezersThe UK or sumfink ain't...

Duff 01.03.14 10:29pm
Tony Blair Sent Himself an Amnesty Letter

Tony Blair Sent Himself an Amnesty Letter Tony Blair admitted that he sent himself a letter exonerating him for past misdeeds. He also sent one to President Bush and many others. They became so...

Atomised 01.03.14 10:10pm
Hague flies to Kiev. Russians protest deployment of drone. 2
Ironduke 01.03.14 9:02pm
[b]New " Tough Guy" look for Fire Service[/b]

Fire chiefs have drawn up controversial plans for a new "tough Guy " image during a conference of Englands elite fire fighters. Fire chiefs are worried that the general public are looking on at...

worsey 01.03.14 8:56pm
Feral Poor Living in London Sewers

Some of Britain's underclass are choosing to flee to the capital's sewer system for a better life. Mr Jackson and his family moved down seven years ago when he was made unemployed and subsequently...

Atomised 01.03.14 8:52pm
Predictable headline writer in Ukraine bumscratch 0
GingerClive 01.03.14 8:49pm
Russian invasion would infringe US/UK copyright

Prime Minister David Cameron has sent a stark warning to the Russian ambassador to London, saying that any military intervention in the Ukraine would be in serious breach of international law, could...

Wrenfoe 01.03.14 8:39pm
Isle of Wight Mars Mission On Track. Other Confectionery to Follow 0
deceangli 01.03.14 6:22pm
Pardew confirms he is a "nutter" in clash with player 0
GingerClive 01.03.14 5:59pm
Britain votes for Kent to leave the EU

Merkel said to be 'unperturbed'...

Electrelane 01.03.14 5:13pm
Guantanamo prisoner awarded expert status after 10,000 hours in captivity 3
Underconstruction 01.03.14 4:37pm