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Scots Independence Ballot paper to include 'any team except England' option. 2
muchofamuchness 3 years

In a bid to ensure the correct result is returned, and explain in terms explicable to the populace what might otherwise be a complex and abstruse legal and constitutional issue, the SNP has decided...

Out of date food; the New Year slimming fad? 6
beau-jolly 3 years

A shopkeeper in Greater Manchester has hit on a money making scheme to get rid of out of date goods by repositioning them in the health and beauty section., Mr. Roger Gill of Gill’s Stores in...

Pregnant dog has had a spaniel in the works 1
Smart Alex 3 years
Hadrian’s Wall (HW2) To Go Ahead 10
Deimos 3 years

Signalling an end to infrastructure investment focus of the South East, today the government is to announce that it is to go ahead with the construction of HW2 (Hadrian’s Wall 2). Deputy Prime...

Worrall-Thompson named as villain in Bond remake "You only lift rice". More soon 15
Al OPecia 3 years

..and "For your pies only", "Sieve and let sieve".all together now...

Shopping precincts disruption as Pensioners to recreate Reservoir dogs walk 1
simonjmr 3 years

Pensioner pressure groups are planning mass disruptions to your local shopping centres and precincts every Wednesday and Thursday lunchtime for the next year, by walking two abreast in a slow moving...

Man wearing M&S cardigan involved in heroic act 2
roybland 3 years

A man wearing a M&S cardigan is reported to have been involved in what witnesses describe as 'an heroic act'. The act is said to have involved throwing caution to the winds and to have...

Birmingham ‘to move to Wales’ 9
Zadok the second 3 years

Following the recent HS2 announcement, which will cut 30 minutes off the average London to Birmingham journey time, the city and larger metropolitan area of Birmingham has decided to move to Wales,...

Cameron insists that Labour is 'part of Scotland' 0
pere floza 3 years
Cameron and Clegg Revealed as British Synchronised Diving Team 8
Immunis 3 years

The latest British Olympic hopefuls were unveiled at Scunthorpe baths today as David Cameron and Nick Clegg in the synchronised diving. They modelled their trunks (which are a pleasant mid blue with...

Man in £18k debt after misreading letters stating Speeding, Fine 1
Perks 3 years
Surveillance for Olympic Relays as TV Chef Threatens to Half-Inch Batons 0
charlieworth 3 years
HS2 go-ahead "A welcome boost" for cash-strapped east-european building industry 4
dvo4fun 3 years
Roberto Mancini caught stealing players 1
kga6 3 years

The manager of mega-rich Manchester City FC, Roberto Mancini, has been caught stealing a professional footballer. Following his team's defeat against Manchester United on Sunday, Sir Alex Ferguson...

Porn Oscars Told: Watch Out! The Brits are Coming 1
thisisall1word 3 years
HS2 will make shoplifting too fast for CCTV 0
Laughingstock 3 years

The cost of attempting recipes on TV programmes was given a boost today by HS2; CCTV will be unable to detect unapid items in supermarkets, making them accessible for all...

Jar Jar Binks Wins New Hampshire Primary 0
Immunis 3 years

Outsider Jar Jar Binks was hailed as the new Republican favourite this morning after having swept a massive winning margin in the New Hampshire Primary. His policies on abortion and gay marriage went...

Campaigners say something a bit whiffy about H2S train link proposal 2
bonjonelson 3 years

more soon, for the chemists amongst you...

Stephen Hawking not ill at all, just very, very, drunk. 18
Al OPecia 3 years

The scientific world accidentally revealed one of its best kept secrets today, which has shocked the world of academe, popular media and broadcasting. Professor Hawking was crossing a road in...

Madeley, Worral Thompson, Ryder, Lohan and Gerrard to record charity record 0
simonjmr 3 years

"Shoplifters of the world unite" More soon...

Critics say HS2 promises ‘worthless’ without high-speed replacement buses 3
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Study finds frequent breaks from surfing the web increases office productivity 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Celebrities endorse ‘random word generator’ for baby name choices 1
PReady 3 years
Fear as gushing Arsenal fans show signs of spreading new disease - Thierry Ennui 0
simonjmr 3 years
Worrell-Thompson's New Cookery Show..... 5
Jesse Bigg 3 years

.Ready, Steady, Took...

“My race for power is not over” says Milliband. 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

“Oh, yes it is", says everyone else., Well, it is panto season...

Orpington to Victoria high speed rail link approved 1
Gong of Fur 3 years

The government has announced today that the Transit 1 High Speed rail link from Orpington to London Victoria is to go ahead at a cost of £20 billion. The 17 mile trip currently takes an average of...

Gymnastic's giant backflip "turned her world upside down" 0
kimllfixit 3 years
Security alert as Al Qaeda submarine found in Olympic swimming pool. More soon. 2
dominic_mcg 3 years
"Occupy" movement in turmoil as Millets close down 10
apepper 3 years

More to follow...