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Disgust as Olympic political discourse breaks out into unedifying sport

Seemingly oblivious to issues surrounding tickets, traffic congestion, G4S, strikes and the cost to the taxpayer, Team GB and New Zealand’s women played football in Cardiff’s Millennium Stadium...

Artisan 25.07.12 11:36pm
First Gay Scottish Wedding Cancelled As Both Grooms Are Raging Homophobes

It was meant to be the happiest day in the lives of Barry Boyle and Gordon Darcy. It was the day that they were going to make a lifelong commitment of love to one another and live happily ever after....

Hooch 25.07.12 10:38pm
Queen Attends All Star Production of Revelations to Mark Diamond Jubilee

An all star cast was in attendance at Downing Street yesterday for the opening night of SamCam’s Production of The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Downing Street Footlights headed the bill in the...

scottishbird 25.07.12 9:35pm
Psycho puts faith in Blair.

The chattering classes need wonder no more, Tony is back. In a surprise move that has stunned commentators, Stuart Pearce announced “Over the past few days I have had my fair share of critics, but...

Kieran 25.07.12 9:10pm
Hard-up dry cleaning owner accused of money laundering

Stop me if you've heard this before....

JohnA 25.07.12 9:00pm
Unemployed lorry driver, 54, launches Olympic selection bid

With a whopping 48 hours until the opening ceremony of London 2012, Dave Collins, a 54 year-old unemployed lorry driver, said he was “Humbled” to announce his intention to seek selection for Team...

antharrison 25.07.12 8:39pm
Health & Safety executive appoints Prince Charles as Heir on the side of caution 0
wallster 25.07.12 8:37pm
Gretna Green over run by English gay elopers 1
custard cream 25.07.12 8:37pm
English gays go to Gretna Green to put rings on fingers

Combining subs by Psychadelic Squirrel and custard cream...

Sinnick 25.07.12 8:33pm
Cast of EastEnders to be responsible for Olympic security

Following the successful foray of the Olympic torch relay into the fictitious London Borough of Walford, Home Secretary Theresa May has announced that responsibility for Olympic security is to be...

The Paper Ostrich 25.07.12 8:25pm
The Paper Ostrich
Athletes Union says Olympic strikes 'inevitable'

More chaos was poured on the 2012 London Olympics today with the announcement of industrial action by the British Runners, Athletes, Sailors, Oarspersons and Fencers Federation., Expected to last...

govanesque 25.07.12 8:23pm
Gay Scottish weddings: putting rings on fingers 1
Psycadelic Squirrel 25.07.12 8:22pm
Boyle Responds to Criticism of Opening Ceremony by Keeping it Real

On June 12th a model of the opening ceremony was unveiled. However, in response to widespread criticism of his plans for the Olympic opening ceremony, Danny Boyle revised the whole script. Criticism...

mahesh 25.07.12 8:21pm
Olympics called off as atheletes strike over bonus for working during Olympics 0
Al OPecia 25.07.12 8:16pm
Al OPecia
Man who wasn't 'being funny or nuffink' continues to deliver on promise 2
ronseal 25.07.12 7:24pm
Man who launched pooper-scoop company says "Business is picking up" 2
seymour totti 25.07.12 7:04pm
Field for sale; slightly soiled 0
Perks 25.07.12 5:55pm
Olympic opening ceremony to feature Prince Philip shooting wildlife

Rumours that Prince Philip is to feature in the spectacular Opening Ceremony of the Olympic Games have been confirmed by Buckingham Palace insiders. When faced with the prospect of having to endure...

Stan 25.07.12 4:43pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Scottish government to allow two Jocks to marry 0
charlies_hat 25.07.12 4:25pm
Beckham awarded Hi-Viz steward status for Olympic games 0
simonjmr 25.07.12 3:57pm
Manchester airport to adopt "A Roaming we will go" as new anthem 0
simonjmr 25.07.12 3:53pm
Macaulay Culkin to star in new movie 'Flown Alone' 0
Psycadelic Squirrel 25.07.12 2:23pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
Ipswich Man Wins Right To Eat Cat

An East Anglian man has been given the all clear by the High Court in London to eat his pet cat paving the way for more Britons to cook, fry, boil and roast their pets. The landmark decision is seen...

HIGNFY 25.07.12 1:14pm
Argentina Steal Falkalnd Islands

The British Government is holding emergency talks with Argentina after the Argentine navy stole the Falkland Islands and moved it to within just 1 mile of the Argentine mainland. The daring raid...

HIGNFY 25.07.12 1:11pm
Cameron defends 'cash in hand' payment after Clegg washed his bike 3
25.07.12 1:10pm
Lord Green responds to HSBC Money Laundering accusations: "My hands are clean" 1
dvo4fun 25.07.12 1:07pm
Manc boards plane to Italy

A 28-year-old Man from Manchester has boarded a plane to Rome, on his own, with a passport, ticket and boarding pass. The man got through a security screen by mingling with families, young...

Old Hat 25.07.12 1:06pm
"Olympian Only" Breathing Zones announced

In a frankly predictable move, LOCOG have identified that there will be specific breathing areas set aside in London's parks for Olympic Officials and competitors. A spokesman said "It is risible...

FlashArry 25.07.12 1:05pm
PANIC AS OLYMPIC ATHLETICS TRACK MEASURES IN AT 375 METRES Panic gripped East London today as final measurements of the landmark athletics track revealed it to be a full 25 metres too...

Peter749400 25.07.12 1:05pm
Olympic terror threat level reduced after al-Qaeda outsource terrorism to G4S

There were large sighs of relief today following news that security firm G4S have been put in charge of organising all of al-Qaeda’s terrorist activities for the 2012 Olympics. ‘It just makes...

Ludicity 25.07.12 1:04pm