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Refuge learns profanity English from people completing Captcha on online shops 0
simonjmr 04.07.12 1:38pm
simonjmr
Scientists disappointed to find dark matter "looks like Woking".

The 'missing' 95% of the universe is "very similar to Woking, in most important respects". Hoping to discover new matter with exciting esoteric properties, CERN Boffins were gutted to find the hidden...

0
Boutros 04.07.12 12:21pm
Boutros
Other sub-atomic particles demand equal publicity to Higg's boson

Following months of recent media speculation and then today announcement by CERN, other sub-atomic particles are said to be furious at the lack of column inches dedicated to them. In a...

0
Smart Alex 04.07.12 12:16pm
Smart Alex
Lonely hearts ads may be breaking anti-discrimination laws

Anyone think this is worth developing?...

11
kga6 04.07.12 12:15pm
button
Bob Diamond To Stack Shelves at Poundland

After missing his first appointment at Jobcentre the newly unemployed Bob Diamond has been ordered to complete 2 weeks work assistance at his local Poundland. Diamond has objected strongly to the...

0
daneade 04.07.12 12:07pm
daneade
Stuart Pearce excluded from London Fashion week for "style reasons"

London Fashion week has this week responded to Victoria Beckhams request that Stuart Pearce be excluded from attending the annual fashion fest due to "style reasons" More soon...

0
simonjmr 04.07.12 11:55am
simonjmr
Superdry Ban To Take Effect From Tomorrow

The nationwide ban on all forms of Superdry clothing comes into effect from midnight tonight. The emergency measures have been forced on the government as it seeks to stop up to 1 in 3 Britons from...

0
daneade 04.07.12 11:41am
daneade
LHC to be put to work finding elusive banker's conscience

Following the discovery of the Higgs boson scientists at CERN have announced that the LHC can now turn its attention to more practical work. Having demonstrated its ability to find something...

0
gregle 04.07.12 11:09am
gregle
Search for boson over. Found in latin-american dance school. 0
weematt 04.07.12 11:08am
weematt
Space "not visible from space" 1
nickb 04.07.12 11:06am
RickH
Tapeworm measurers accused of 'race to the bottom' 2
04.07.12 11:04am
rustytruss
Diamond's not forever 6
ianslat 04.07.12 10:59am
rustytruss
Triumphant Child announces discovery of Leg-O-boxset 0
simonjmr 04.07.12 10:59am
simonjmr
Sociologist aims to find out "what makes Irish people tick" 2
Scroat 04.07.12 10:54am
simonjmr
Giggs Boson finally unveiled after CERN successfully lift injunction 0
bonjonelson 04.07.12 10:46am
bonjonelson
Careless CERN boffin mislays Higgs Boson only hours after finding it. 0
Boutros 04.07.12 10:41am
Boutros
L-drivers "not all lesbians" report shows 0
Scroat 04.07.12 10:11am
Scroat
Biggs boson found living quietly in Brazil under false name. 0
Thor 04.07.12 10:08am
Thor
Out of date pasties marketed as "50 shades of Greggs". More soon. 2
dominic_mcg 04.07.12 8:47am
jimmydodger
Mariners celebrate discovery of Higg's Botswain 0
antharrison 04.07.12 7:58am
antharrison
CERN boffins deny existence of clitoris after fruitless search 0
cinquecento 04.07.12 7:40am
cinquecento
Search starts for Higgs Bo's daughter

More to follow...

0
apepper 04.07.12 7:33am
apepper
"Moral Maize" developed using GM technology.

The first foodstuff genetically modified to improve the ethical behaviours of consumers could be on  sale later this year.  Moral Maize, secretly developed on secret research sites around...

3
nickb 04.07.12 7:18am
nickb
Panini rumoured to be in studio working on difficult second album 3
simonjmr 03.07.12 10:24pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Bankers who fiddled Libor to be investigated by MPs who fiddled their expenses 2
Smart Alex 03.07.12 9:49pm
dvo4fun
Duchess of Cornwall Land Mines are "final insult to Diana" claims Earl

Land mines featuring the faces of members of the Royal Family, including Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall, have lead to a furious outburst from Earl Spencer - branding them "the final insult" to his...

2
bonjonelson 03.07.12 9:19pm
bonjonelson
'Internet troll' discovered to be a million monkeys with a million laptops 0
Perks 03.07.12 8:02pm
Perks
Diamond quits and thanks Barclays for the libor rating experience. 1
weematt 03.07.12 7:44pm
Sinnick
Mermaid sighted off the Isle of Wight

A reported sighting of a mermaid off the Isle of Wight is being investigated by the Ministry of Agriculture, Fisheries and Food. The sighting comes on the day a US scientific agency said there is no...

0
roybland 03.07.12 7:34pm
roybland
Tedious talk about the jet stream set to continue

Mind-numbing explanations of how the jet stream is responsible for the wet British summer will continue for the next few weeks, according to forecasters. 'Unfortunately we expect the present very...

0
roybland 03.07.12 6:25pm
roybland