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Wayne Rooney's call girl frolic wins him contract as new face of Pro-Active 0
ronseal 3 years

Wayne Rooney has bravely fought back over the loss of his Coke Cola endorsement contract. Last night he was celebrating long into the night, after being named as the new face of Pro-Active. [I'm off...

BBC decide to screen 'live' death of Andrew Marr's career this Sunday. 0
Milo Shame 3 years

(more soon)...

Admin error suspected as police investigate RAC rally 0
beau-jolly 3 years

Simon (or Janice) Moore soon...

Bury goalkeeper accidentally drops charges 0
beau-jolly 3 years

Bobby Moore soon...

Local man fears bunting, Union Jacks 'may not be ironic' 9
Golgo13 3 years

As the day of William and Kate's wedding draws near, concern is growing that the patriotic flags and knick-knacks being displayed in the cul-de-sac's front windows are a genuine show of royalist...

Stock news "Plenty of Fish" fends off advances from "The Lonely Planet" 0
Ian Searle 3 years
AV Referendum ballot papers have 'Couldn't Give a shit' box added. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

Less soon hopefully...

Clark Kent granted superinjunction to prevent any other tickers being put up. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years
Pineapple Studios 'pop star' Andrew Stone still available for Royal Wedding. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

Self deluded wannabe pop star Andrew Stone of Pineapple Dance Studios has issued a statement saying he would be available to sing at William and Kates wedding if required., 'I had expected them to...

Sado-masochist confused over gagging order 0
jp1885 3 years
Inverness man forced to admit Higgs-Boson error 0
Highlander 3 years

In yesterday's sensational news Mr DJ MacSporran of Inverness claimed he had found the elusive Higgs-Boson particle. This particle has been the holy grail of physicists for years now and could prove...

Media reporting 8 billion currently expected to watch royal wedding 0
dandare70 3 years
‘Streets filled with zombies’ fear as Playstation Network breakdown continues 2
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Syrian President flees but changes his mind when he reaches Damascus 1
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Vote Yes to AV. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years

Just testing...

Barclays sue Stephen Merchant after it turns out the squirrel is relevant 0
Pinhead 3 years
Increasing worries over men's level of porn intake 0
Screenie 3 years

A quarter of men are worried about the amount of porn they are watching on the internet with lower monthly download limits and higher quality, and therefore size, of the videos available being the...

Nation applies for Royal Wedding gagging order 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
BBC not first to show a man’s slow death on TV say ‘Daybreak’ producers 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Yorkshire boy given conference ovation ‘probably not the next William Hague’ 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Berlusconi commits Italian jets to Libya with promise of lots of ‘banga banga’ 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Afghan authorities still searching for Mohammed McQueen. 0
Stan Laurel 3 years
Marr reveals "gagging for it order". No more soon. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years
Monopolies commision to investigate Parker brothers... More soon 1
404 Not Found 3 years
Dr Who finally crawls up own arse after Russell t Davies departure. 2
simonjmr 3 years
BBC sack Chris Moyles for inappropriate remarks live on-air 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years

Moyles, the longest serving Radio 1 morning show presenter has been sacked for broadcasting comments when he thought he was off microphone At 0828 today, expecting to hand over to the news team,...

Letters "M" & "N" removed from alphabet due to government cuts. 7
404 Not Found 3 years

David Caero ade the shock aouceet i the house of coos today that the alphabet would shrik to just twety four letters with iediate effect, sayig that "Labour left us owig billios ad billios of pouds...

Government require all "Newborns" to be "declared" as 16 on Birth Certificate. 0
nannyknowsbest 3 years

In a surprise move from No 10 announced today, the government has passed new legislation, requiring all "newborn" children form 1st August 2011 to be "officially" recorded as being 16 years old., A...

Taliban Re enact Great Escape 3
Dun Dunkin 3 years

Taliban fans of the film 'The Great Escape' did a re enactment of the plan by getting 470 prisoners out from a jail in Kandahar. One ex prisoner said proudly 'After the tunnel they gave me a...

Juan Sheet, my arse 0
Pinhead 3 years

more sheets soon, hopefully...