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Sony launch new TV range for women - HD Nearly Ready 5
brownpaperreporter 20.10.13 4:36pm
Al OPecia
Norwegian Terrorists are ‘the scariest of all’

Exhaustive studies, coupled with an allergic reaction to pickled herring, have enabled the world’s Press to conclude that there is nothing more chilling than a gun wielding maniac who can hum...

Wrenfoe 20.10.13 3:19pm
US Scouts offer to topple Stonehenge

Having already trashed a 170 million-year-old red rock from Goblin Valley State Park, Scout Leader Glenn Taylor is considering eradicating other 'eyesores' of the ancient world. First on his list is...

Wrenfoe 20.10.13 3:04pm
Grannie dies while sucking egg. "I should have taught her how" says Grandson. 3
weematt 19.10.13 11:54pm
Sir Lupus
Google takes over US after government repossessed by China

not sure if this is a joke or a prediction. could be a longer sub - China as hire purchase company/loan sharks, what wld a US run by Google look like (clue: exactly the same.) - with actual jokes...

Sir Lupus 19.10.13 11:52pm
Sir Lupus
Heroin to be ‘one of your five-a-day’, if Scots vote for independence...

A vote for Scottish independence, in next year’s referendum, would bring many benefits, according to the deputy first minister of the Scottish National Party. Nicola Sturgeon vowed to lower energy...

Tripod 19.10.13 10:48pm
Sir Lupus
Jack Bauer revealed as having saved America from fiscal cliff disaster

It was revealed today that over a period of 24hours, Jack Bauer, star of edgy television series 24, single handedly lifted the debt ceiling and thwarted extremist plans to cripple the country...

quango 19.10.13 10:01pm
David Cameron to be face of new “Captain Obvious” website

Keen to build on the runaway success of the Big Society initiative, David Cameron let slip today that the government is to launch the “Captain Obvious” website, full of handy tips which nobody...

Coco 19.10.13 9:27pm
"Badger Pelts Are A Powerful Aphrodisiac" Claim DEFRA

Ministry officials are keen to promote the idea that various badger parts have amazing medicinal powers, from badger kidneys curing cancer to badger bristles curing baldness. "With any luck, the...

Titus 19.10.13 9:15pm
'I can cure your loneliness' by Paul McKenna

Following my good friend Jeremy Hunt’s statements today that chronic loneliness is our “national shame”, I felt morally obligated to give my new book a nice plug. It deviates from my normal...

TobiasBV 19.10.13 6:46pm
Outrage as FA Commission excludes black lesbian diabetic dwarves

..or is that dwarfs?...

blacklesbianandproudofit 19.10.13 6:42pm
Dyke insists was just about to add black lesbian to commission when story broke

I am still available...

blacklesbianandproudofit 19.10.13 6:36pm
Outrage as FA Commission excludes Old Etonians 0
blacklesbianandproudofit 19.10.13 6:27pm
Titanic violin sold for £900, there's a fiddle going on if you ask me 0
irreverendJ 19.10.13 5:06pm
Users slam Magical Google Glass technology as ‘a bit slow’

Consumers recently allowed a trial run of Google Glass, the latest piece of alchemy in our lives which essentially allows the user to wear the internet on their face, have vehemently denounced the...

TobiasBV 19.10.13 4:36pm
Sudoku puzzle on husband's gravestone must be made trickier, grieving widow told

Angela Robinson, from Chester, has been ordered to make the Sudoku puzzle she had inscribed on her husband’s grave much more difficult. The puzzle, which is said to be ‘beginner to...

TobiasBV 19.10.13 2:48pm
Royal Mail CEO delivers speech to wrong address

Royal Mail CEO, Moya Greene, has declined to comment on her recent speech that was delivered to the wrong address. When there was no-one to listen, she left a card under the mat...

apepper 19.10.13 2:42pm
Duke of Edinburgh "losing his touch" after Malala meeting ends well. More soon. 3
dominic_mcg 19.10.13 12:40pm
New Al Desko eaterie creates glowing screen environment for wannabe busy diners

People who miss out on the Al Desko eating experience can see what all the fuss is about, thanks to a new restaurant in Chiswick which brings keyboard/monitor/styrofoam style dining to the masses....

ronseal 19.10.13 12:00pm
Verruca now more popular than vajazzle , say vashionistas.

Body adorners are flocking to acquire the newest retro feature – the verruca. Once associated with shallow pools of municipal disinfectant in chilly swimming baths, the new version verucca is more...

CulchaVulcha 19.10.13 11:38am
New series of 'Educating Yorkshire' to be sponsored by Benson & Hedges 2
Mandy Lifeboat 19.10.13 10:50am
Preston man gets 20 million replies in response to ad on UninformedDating.Com 0
AReader 19.10.13 10:47am
Special feature: Penguin Classics Top 10:

Official Penguin Classic charts, released at London Zoo. 1: Amusing juxtaposition with Charlie Chaplin image, 2: Pingu vomiting scene, 3: Popular chocolate bar, endorsed by the late Derek...

nickb 19.10.13 9:58am
Not being able to say "fairer than that" recognised as illness

People with the condition of dikaioteriapoaftipuphobia, or the inability to say "fairer than that", are suffering in silence and are often victims of prejudice. Doctor James Miller of the institute...

apepper 19.10.13 8:07am
Music instrument store robbery thwarted by a 'Guitar Hero' 0
Dumbnews 19.10.13 2:16am
Palace milkman finds Queen's Commonwealth Games message stuffed inside bottle.

"As I appear to have what I can only presume to be the Queens' message on this rather damp and smelly rolled up slip of paper with a bit of ribbon round it, I can only hazard a guess at where her...

Boutros 18.10.13 11:32pm
Apple sponsors new drama series - Game of Phones. 0
Maverick 18.10.13 10:57pm
Muslim Free School Derby mislead me, claims EDL parent 2
medici2471 18.10.13 7:47pm
Bag lady gets a bit handy in court 0
davetwojackets 18.10.13 6:05pm
Lonely pensioners should huddle together for both warmth & company says BG Chief 0
Ref Minor 18.10.13 5:19pm
Ref Minor