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BBC scrapped Ford too soon 0
weematt 3 years

Responding to criticism that an old Ford was scrapped prematurely BBC Governors have told BBC Management to use old Fords a bit longer where possible. BBC's spokesman said "We did try to use the old...

Millet's shoplifting suspect arrested, found loitering with intent. 0
weematt 3 years

inspired(?) by dvo4fun, expect some camp humour now...

Met Police water cannon plans scuppered by hosepipe ban 0
acwanaut 3 years
"Just call me Emma" complains Hermione Granger actress 0
Nick McCarr 3 years

Sick and tired of forever being stereotyped as Hermione Granger, the nerdy girl heroine of the Harry Potter books, Emma Watson has pleaded for the media to put "all that Potter stuff" behind her.,...

Ivory towers to become "elephant cruelty free" 0
Nick McCarr 3 years

Piano Protection Society expresses concern...

Record attempt to watch entire F1 race ends in failure. 0
Boutros 3 years

Retired bricklayer Greg Spencer's dreams of achieving a place in the Guinness Book Of World Records were dashed during lap 55 of the Australian Grand Prix when the horse blinkers he'd hoped would...

Carefree OAP Blaring Ace Tunes on Bus leaves 3 Teenage Boys Terrified. 0
Tenpenny 3 years

Sara crouch(37) recalls the 'tense atomsphere and sheer intimidation factor' caused by who she describes as a 'social misfit' and 'menace to public safety'., 'She was slouched back in her seat...

Kings Cross renovation "disaster for getting to Hogwarts" 0
quango 3 years

Luckily, I know someone who has a flying car...

Sarkozy to have iPhone renamed. 2
weematt 3 years

Building on his theme of detesting too many foreign people in France Nicolas Sarkozy has turned his attention to products. If re-elected he has promised to legislate that the 'iPhone' will be called...

British Grand Prix in chaos as Silverstone named as new congestion zone 1
apepper 3 years

The British Grand Prix faces some radical changes as drivers will be liable for the congestion charge. Currently, racing cars do not carry registration plates, making automatic detection impossible...

Ryanair makes autopilots redundant 4
weematt 3 years

CEO Michael O'Leary announced today that in future Ryanair would cease to operate aircraft with fancy complicated autopilots and the like., "We like to keep tings simple and cheap at Ryanair." he...

God to write second novel 3
Immunis 3 years
Chancellor to stop tax dodgers and reintroduce 10p tax rate. 0
Perks 3 years

With the highly anticipated Budget due this week, Downing Street has been leaking like a BP pipeline in the Gulf of Mexico. In a copy of his speech seen by the press, the Chancellor is planning...

London 2012: Assisted Suicide law suspension bid for Olympics 1
MotoPopps 3 years

Following the announcement of the suspension of the Sunday Trading laws by the Chancellor George Osborne, Home Secretary Theresa May is set to announce the suspension of the assisted suicide laws. ...

Police award Belfast man "Best Reply After Caution" prize 2
jamsieoconnor 3 years

An improvised remark made by an unemployed Belfast plasterer following his arrest for dangerous driving has won the coveted "Best Reply After Caution" prize at the National Police Awards in...

Stranded potholers had no back up plan. 3
weematt 3 years

inspired by ronseal...

Osbourne 0
spa99ers 3 years

Osbourne told: "Plan to make everyone hate Tories has worked. you can stop now"...

Osborne asks mates for joke ideas for his Budget speech 0
paddyparkinson 3 years

"Making the budget speech can be a real downer for the whole nation" said George Osborne. The Chancellor returned from his trip to the US to deliver his annual budget speech but has been asking...

"Go Compare" opera singer revealed to be Rafael Benitez 0
paddyparkinson 3 years
Pessimistic teacher sacked because his class was always half full. 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Restaurants introduce Hors d'oeuvres tracking. 0
Ian Searle 3 years

This will let you know when they will be delivered. If you are not at your table when they arrive they can be left in a safe place, on a neighbouring table, or will be returned to the kitchen and...

"Twenty's plenty" says Schumacher after F1 failure. 0
JustSomeBloke 3 years

More next wek ...

Homeless may be used as street lighting 3
roybland 3 years

Homeless people may be used as street lighting under new government plans to be announced by George Osborne in Wednesday's Budget. The proposal follows the recent use of homeless people as roving...

Hundreds of injury lawyers injured at work 0
yussle 3 years

in stampede to join Bolton Wanderers supporters club...

IOW fire crew under fire, even slower than usual 0
weematt 3 years

Isle of Wight residents were more upset than normal when they learned that it took local volunteer fire officers over two hours to attend a fire at the Ryde Castle Hotel, Isle of Wight. Normally most...

Police work on theory no one broke into Millibands office, but he broke out. 0
Ian Searle 3 years

The public are warned he may be dangerous...

Return to traditional values as kids to be told if their best "not good enough" 0
quango 3 years
Panic grows as it is revealed that Earth's atmosphere is "over 78% nitrogen" 0
Nick McCarr 3 years
Wife divorces barista who took his work home 1
roybland 3 years

A Cafe Nero barista who took his work too seriously is facing divorce. 'As soon as Joe arrived home from the coffee shop, he started,' his wife Jane said, 'banging the milk jug on the table,...

Authorities turn to Drogba for advice about onfield strokes 0
Drylaw 3 years