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Osborne insists it's badgers or Syria, UK can't afford to deal with both 1
blacklesbianandproudofit 28.08.13 9:29pm
FlashArry
Cameron 'out sources' Syrian conflict to al-Qaeda

In a triumph of capitalism, the Government has come up with a novel solution to the over-stretching of the UK's armed forces. Having put the entire North Africa campaign 'out to tender', Prime...

1
Wrenfoe 28.08.13 8:49pm
Squudge
Rooney backs down as Moyes demands WRITTEN transfer request 2
custard cream 28.08.13 8:18pm
Titus
Catherine Zeta-Jones goes to specsavers

More to follow...

0
apepper 28.08.13 7:06pm
apepper
Syrian campaign to be opened with air-dropped sexed up dossiers. More soon. 2
Al OPecia 28.08.13 5:57pm
Al OPecia
Autumn/Winter 2013/14 collection nod to protest

Commentators have applauded the fashion world today for its efforts in bringing the whole darn fracking business to a wider and more elegant audience. Phillippe Le Fevre, independent fashion...

1
Coco 28.08.13 5:36pm
robotsister
Impotent man remembers mornings in the old days. 0
Al OPecia 28.08.13 4:48pm
Al OPecia
Osborne considering "pay per shot" army, outsourced to G4D. No more UK soon. 0
Al OPecia 28.08.13 4:39pm
Al OPecia
Alistair Cook: "We’d like to be judged for what we do ON the pitch. Oh"... 0
Tripod 28.08.13 3:46pm
Tripod
Crematorium reports reduced urnings 0
sydalg 28.08.13 3:17pm
sydalg
RAF to drop slaughtered badgers over Syria 0
antharrison 28.08.13 3:01pm
antharrison
Obama and Cameron: 'Our bombs and missiles won't kill civilians, promise.'

President Obama and Prime Minister Cameron made a joint statement today on the situation in Syria. 'When we begin to bomb Syria - ' began Mr Obama, 'Er - I think you mean if,' said Mr Cameron...

6
John Wiltshire 28.08.13 2:26pm
Arthur
Our weaponry 'more selective' than Middle-Eastern weaponry, say our leaders

US Marines to be re-issued with swords...

0
Arthur 28.08.13 2:22pm
Arthur
Sex op man wishes to be known as Former Gloria 0
sydalg 28.08.13 2:14pm
sydalg
Art School strike talks break down as militant Life Models refuse to be drawn. 0
tedweasel 28.08.13 1:58pm
tedweasel
Maths genius finds square root of all evil 0
sydalg 28.08.13 1:43pm
sydalg
Porn block will lead to huge lay-offs, warns guide dogs' union 0
sydalg 28.08.13 1:42pm
sydalg
MP's concerned that Cameron may have contracted TB 0
medici2471 28.08.13 11:29am
medici2471
Strauss : England Cricketers were just doing the "Panesar dance" 0
Scronnyglonkle 28.08.13 11:02am
Scronnyglonkle
Super Dry wet T shirt competition suspended after confusion over rules 0
CulchaVulcha 28.08.13 9:40am
CulchaVulcha
A Modest Proposal - 2

A Modest Proposal, For Preventing the Good and Honourable Teachers and Lecturers of the United Kingdom, From Inflicting a Burden Upon their Country and its Children, and, For Resolving the...

40
Improbability 28.08.13 9:14am
rickwestwell
England cricketers apologise for pissing all over the Aussies

The English cricket team has today issued an apology for the manner of their comprehensive 3-0 Ashes victory over the Australians. ‘We now accept that in urinating over the Australian cricket...

2
Long Distance Clara 28.08.13 9:08am
John Wiltshire
Culling 70% of MPs 'could eradicate ego-driven wars forever' 1
pere floza 28.08.13 9:08am
NewBiscuit
US reveal plan to blanket-bomb Syria with porn, hand-cream, tissues

"Should provide some welcome relief to the conflict" quipped DoD official [i]was also going to go on about secret porn repository in New Mexico, blind tests on volunteers, press conference...

2
FlashArry 28.08.13 9:04am
Titus
England cricketers apologise for 'inappropriate winning on the pitch'

The England cricket team today issued an apology for their 'inappropriate behaviour' on the pitch at The Oval. 'We are sorry for what we did,' the statement said. 'We know that our fans expect a...

0
John Wiltshire 28.08.13 9:04am
John Wiltshire
Cheryl Cole denies new 'black & white bush' is political

Gorgeous Geordie lass Cheryl Cole has today dismissed claims that her newly styled two-tone lady-garden was fashioned in direct response to the government's recent badger cull plan. The former...

6
Robopop 28.08.13 9:00am
Titus
Assad the Badger

Glad I'm not a badger tonight., Assad the Badger appears to have unleashed deadly bovine TB (Tommy Brock) on the innocent cow population., Cameron the Farmer speaking from Cornwall was reported as...

0
Mfilbee 28.08.13 8:45am
Mfilbee
Government set up OFTICK to chastise naughty Newsbiscuit posters.

More inevitably...

3
FOAD 28.08.13 8:20am
Kevin the Swan
Dickie Davies goes into hiding 1
antharrison 28.08.13 7:55am
Rootin Tootin
Assad awarded badger cull contract 1
cinquecento 28.08.13 12:33am
Titus