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Millions relieved to drop "Scottish heritage" after Murray loses final

As workers return to the office after a weekend of sporting misery, millions of people were finally able to remove the little Scottish flag from their desks and go back to being English., On leaving...

0
kimllfixit 09.07.12 8:37am
kimllfixit
South Korea increases blubber targets; Murray cancels tour of East Asia 0
cinquecento 09.07.12 8:00am
cinquecento
Scottish delicatessen removes Swiss cheese from sale

"It's gone rather hard" said the owner "and our customers complained of a bitter aftertaste"...

3
JohnA 09.07.12 7:22am
Rabbie Burns, Billy Connolly, Alex Salmond, Sean Connery, Robert the Bruce...

Lulu, Rob Roy, William Wallace, Sheena Easton - can you hear me, Sheena Easton? Your boy took one hell of a beating! Your boy took one hell of a beating!...

2
Ironduke 09.07.12 7:00am
nickb
Food rationing to end on Isle of Wight

Food rationing on the Isle of Wight could be over by Christmas. Government officials were startled to learn the wartime measure has continued on the remote island and former Hampshire province long...

0
DorsetBoy 09.07.12 2:49am
DorsetBoy
Duff Said To Be "Gutted" At Murray Defeat

Newsbiscuit contributor, Duff, is said to be gutted at Andy Murray's four set defeat at Wimbledon earlier today. Speaking to anyone prepared to listen he said, "Well undoubtedly this does allow us...

5
Duff 08.07.12 9:33pm
Yikes
Duff Sharpens Pencil In Readiness To Use "The Joke" - 2

There is tension across all of Newsbiscuit today about who will get the best take on "The Joke" as Andy Murray prepares to attempt become the first 'British' finalist in the men's singles at...

32
Duff 08.07.12 9:24pm
Duff
England's cricket team defy national expectations and stuff the Aussies

and frankly the Aussies are lucky to get nil...

0
JohnA 08.07.12 9:15pm
JohnA
Google To Lease Storage Space In People's Heads To Handle Massive Internet Data.

Internet giant Google has come up with a solution to its data storage problems. The exponential growth in the use of the Internet has caused many of the top web site facilities to experience...

3
08.07.12 9:13pm
JohnA
John Lydon to run for MP in forthcoming by-election

John Lydon, formerly Johnny Rotten, lead singer with punk rock group The Sex Pistols, who recently appeared on Question Time, is to stand as a candidate for the forthcoming Bromley by-election. ...

1
Mark Gregory 08.07.12 9:09pm
JohnA
Andy Murray downgraded from British to Scottish.

More in another 74 years...

2
monty 08.07.12 9:05pm
bonjonelson
Murray reverts to being shit at tennis 0
antharrison 08.07.12 8:57pm
antharrison
99.6% of British population think Federer looks gay with that headband.

More unbiased opinion soon...

2
MADJEZ 08.07.12 8:39pm
MADJEZ
Triumphant weekend for Murray........ as veteran returns to F1 commentary team.

More soon .. unless I'm very much mistaken...

0
MADJEZ 08.07.12 8:35pm
MADJEZ
Appointment of 2 times Wimbledon runner up as coach pays dividends 0
button 08.07.12 8:30pm
button
Man convicted of taking range eggs without paying claims innocence 0
button 08.07.12 8:28pm
button
Emotional Murray forfeits all rights to Scottishness 0
Haywood Manley 08.07.12 7:50pm
Haywood Manley
Dublin woman on mollusc cruelty charges dies before case comes to court 2
nickb 08.07.12 6:58pm
nickb
Home Office revoke Andy Murray's British Passport 1
Perks 08.07.12 5:52pm
dvo4fun
Silverstone to invest in a sliding roof for 2013

more later...

2
dvo4fun 08.07.12 5:51pm
dvo4fun
Murray meets Triumph and Disaster Just the Same...

with a dour, miserable, deadpan face...

0
Ironduke 08.07.12 5:21pm
Ironduke
Entertainment world in shock as Britt Ekland revealed to be a man named Scott 0
LittleSpender 08.07.12 5:19pm
LittleSpender
Surprise at Wimbledon as Murray reverts to being Venezuelan. 2
Lemon difficult 08.07.12 4:44pm
Lemon difficult
Nation overjoyed as Pippa Middleton's arse seen at Wimbledon. 1
MADJEZ 08.07.12 4:24pm
RickH
Roger Federer outlasts 123 Scottish opponents to win Wimbledon

Swiss maestro Roger Federer has won a record 7th Wimbledon title after beating Scot Andy Murray in the final. It capped a great fortnight for Federer after sweeping aside Scottish players in the...

1
Yikes 08.07.12 3:05pm
Yikes
Kevin Rowland storms out of crossdressing finals after shout of 'come on Eileen'

More soon (NB - in case you aren't aware that the singer with Dexys has dabbled http://bit.ly/comeonkevin...

0
Skylarking 08.07.12 2:16pm
Skylarking
Great Uncle Bulgaria tells tennis fans “shut the hell up, I’m trying to sleep!” 1
Yikes 08.07.12 1:30pm
MADJEZ
Bill Murray to star in remake of Groundhog Day. More soon. 7
FormerlyAlOPecia 08.07.12 1:25pm
someone else
Murray loses final on penalties. 0
MADJEZ 08.07.12 1:22pm
MADJEZ
Bill Murray reverts to being Scottish, again. 0
Alan Sundry 08.07.12 1:05pm
Alan Sundry