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Charles warns of deadly cucumber strike on UK 0
roybland 3 years

A cucumber and asparagus attack on the UK as serious as a nuclear strike, could be imminent according to a new warning from Prince Charles.,  , The Prince, who often converses with plants, said...

Malta to divorce Gozo 2
virtuallywill 3 years

Comino later...

REMOVED 9
pthr 3 years

REMOVED - I see this has already been done, far better, and on the front page no less. Oops!...

Thousands in mass suicide at Man U Euro loss. Manchester reports no casualties 1
MADJEZ 3 years
Sharon Shoesmith to be compensated for death of Baby P 3
John Wiltshire 3 years

The former head of Haringay Social Services, Sharon Shoesmith, was today found not guilty of being responsible for her department, and will be given loads of money to make up for the death of Peter...

Bite sized crusty loaf hailed as 'outstanding roll model' 1
ronseal 3 years
Deadly cucumbers undetectable from ordinary ones 0
virtuallywill 3 years

http://i1003.photobucket.com/albums/af156/percyweller/cucumber.jpg...

CERN boffins discover highest possible number... and it's lower than you think 3
pthr 3 years

"It's a hundred and two," say confident scientists. In the northwest suburbs of Geneva, a team led by Rolf Prévessin has discovered the highest number of all. After spending the last eight years...

Top travelling, scripture-reciting Hindu mendicant hailed as 'crazy mutha fakir' 0
ronseal 3 years
Removed. Done before. 0
Ostsee 3 years
UK blasts 'uncaring' US after Obama hails historic relationship with Poland 4
rickwestwell 3 years

UK diplomats have asked for urgent reassurances from their American counterparts after news reports that US President Barack Obama has 'rekindled' the close relationship between Poland and the USA. ...

Bondage fetishists back gagging orders 0
Crow 3 years
Sepp Blatter responds to critics over bribery allegations 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years

La la la . Im not listening http://i851.photobucket.com/albums/ab78/brownpaperreporter/sepp.jpg?t=1306657256...

Tesco home delivery revealed as alternative to "Crappy food skip" 4
antharrison 3 years

Supermarket giant Tesco has refused, despite criticism from its customers, to confirm that its home delivery service is, in fact, the route to deliver a load of sub-standard and too-close to sell-by...

Aid agencies blast the West as 'awareness' levels plummet 6
Smaug 3 years

In an unprecedented press release today, a spokesperson representing the African Union and a conglomeration of aid agencies criticised the West's 'myopic focus on food and medical supplies, to the...

UK Defence Secretary Apologises for the Soundtrack to the Afghan War 11
Quaz 3 years

UK Defence Secretary Dr Liam Fox has been forced into an apology for the poor soundtrack to the current Afghan and Libyan conflicts. “People look back on the Vietnam war and remember the great...

Clerical error sees noted maniac "Psycho the Rapist" land job as Psychotherapist 0
mongeese 3 years
Boy-gIrl-Boy-Girl seating arrangement causes chaos at BNP annual dinner & dance 18
ronseal 3 years

. Could also easily apply to, Al Qaeda shin dig, Morris Dancer's AGM, Or (I hate to say this) NewsBiscuit booze up...

Tory HQ lift breaks again: "stop all getting in this together" advises mechanic 2
3 years
Sepp Blatter vows to stamp out corruption in FIFA. For the right price 2
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years
NASA workers slam Mars as "crap" 5
pthr 3 years

Amid a growing hubbub of discontent, the Mars spirit rover reached the end of its extraordinary mission yesterday. In May 2009, it got stuck in some loose Martian sand and hasn't moved since. ...

Recession-hit pub bores forced to start charging for telling you this much 1
allmyownstunts 3 years
Construction downturn hits Charity Abseilers 0
Milo Shame 3 years

A leading charity has said that cut-backs in the building trade now mean that charity abseilers have fewer and fewer high-profile buildings to abseil down. Megan Lancing from the Breast reduction...

New app offers manly friendship that stops you mid sentence with glib advice 6
ronseal 3 years

The new Glib Advisor, currently available on Android but coming to the iPHone soon, will offer manly friendship to isolated men on the go. Though Glib Advisor's voice recognition software is only 80...

Toronto couple to keep baby Albert's sex a secret 0
beau-jolly 3 years
Gil Scott-Heron's funeral will be televised. more soon 5
Mrblacker 3 years
Schoolboy Reaches Summit of Everest. 1
Dun Dunkin 3 years

Its all downhill from here...

'I don't do blame' says Mladic. 1
Mr Payne 3 years
Knight fails drink driving test, sues police 7
pthr 3 years

A knight has claimed that being asked to walk in a straight line was a breach of his human rights. A police spokesperson dismissed the allegation. "The gentleman in question was clearly drunk," she...

Scientist looks down Hubble Telescope the wrong way, confusion ensues 0
pthr 3 years

The scientific community was briefly thrown into disarray by a paper claiming that the observable universe is far smaller than previously imagined. The team based at John Hopkins University in...