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Möbius stripper to give her side of the story 0
apepper 3 years

Notorious Möbius stripper is planning to give her side of the story in a forthcoming autobiography. Critics suspect, it might be very similar to the previously heard first side of the story...

Road network investment to be taken from M1,M2,M3 and M4 0
charlies_hat 3 years

one for the economics students...

Daily Mail regret 'Asylum seeker uses valuable NHS resources' sports headline. 1
MADJEZ 3 years
Truants win legal right to attend school then not show up 0
Mathna 3 years
Massive hippopotamus and teeny little bird hail 'essential relationship' 13
The Paper Ostrich 3 years

A massive hippopotamus and a teeny tiny little bird have hailed their ‘unique and essential relationship’, during a three-day visit to the hippopotamus’s backside by the bird this week. In a...

Fans pray for recovery of critically ill footballer who isn't John Terry 1
Oxbridge 3 years
Children's hairdresser arrested for "grooming" 1
JohnA 3 years

Has this been done before?...

withdrawn. 2
Mandy Lifeboat 3 years
Harry Redknapp favourite for Archbishop of Canterbury post. More soon. 0
GreenCross 3 years
BBC scrapped Ford too soon 0
weematt 3 years

Responding to criticism that an old Ford was scrapped prematurely BBC Governors have told BBC Management to use old Fords a bit longer where possible. BBC's spokesman said "We did try to use the old...

Millet's shoplifting suspect arrested, found loitering with intent. 0
weematt 3 years

inspired(?) by dvo4fun, expect some camp humour now...

Met Police water cannon plans scuppered by hosepipe ban 0
acwanaut 3 years
"Just call me Emma" complains Hermione Granger actress 0
Nick McCarr 3 years

Sick and tired of forever being stereotyped as Hermione Granger, the nerdy girl heroine of the Harry Potter books, Emma Watson has pleaded for the media to put "all that Potter stuff" behind her.,...

Ivory towers to become "elephant cruelty free" 0
Nick McCarr 3 years

Piano Protection Society expresses concern...

Record attempt to watch entire F1 race ends in failure. 0
Boutros 3 years

Retired bricklayer Greg Spencer's dreams of achieving a place in the Guinness Book Of World Records were dashed during lap 55 of the Australian Grand Prix when the horse blinkers he'd hoped would...

Carefree OAP Blaring Ace Tunes on Bus leaves 3 Teenage Boys Terrified. 0
Tenpenny 3 years

Sara crouch(37) recalls the 'tense atomsphere and sheer intimidation factor' caused by who she describes as a 'social misfit' and 'menace to public safety'., 'She was slouched back in her seat...

Kings Cross renovation "disaster for getting to Hogwarts" 0
quango 3 years

Luckily, I know someone who has a flying car...

Sarkozy to have iPhone renamed. 2
weematt 3 years

Building on his theme of detesting too many foreign people in France Nicolas Sarkozy has turned his attention to products. If re-elected he has promised to legislate that the 'iPhone' will be called...

British Grand Prix in chaos as Silverstone named as new congestion zone 1
apepper 3 years

The British Grand Prix faces some radical changes as drivers will be liable for the congestion charge. Currently, racing cars do not carry registration plates, making automatic detection impossible...

Ryanair makes autopilots redundant 4
weematt 3 years

CEO Michael O'Leary announced today that in future Ryanair would cease to operate aircraft with fancy complicated autopilots and the like., "We like to keep tings simple and cheap at Ryanair." he...

God to write second novel 3
Immunis 3 years
Chancellor to stop tax dodgers and reintroduce 10p tax rate. 0
Perks 3 years

With the highly anticipated Budget due this week, Downing Street has been leaking like a BP pipeline in the Gulf of Mexico. In a copy of his speech seen by the press, the Chancellor is planning...

London 2012: Assisted Suicide law suspension bid for Olympics 1
MotoPopps 3 years

Following the announcement of the suspension of the Sunday Trading laws by the Chancellor George Osborne, Home Secretary Theresa May is set to announce the suspension of the assisted suicide laws. ...

Police award Belfast man "Best Reply After Caution" prize 2
jamsieoconnor 3 years

An improvised remark made by an unemployed Belfast plasterer following his arrest for dangerous driving has won the coveted "Best Reply After Caution" prize at the National Police Awards in...

Stranded potholers had no back up plan. 3
weematt 3 years

inspired by ronseal...

Osbourne 0
spa99ers 3 years

Osbourne told: "Plan to make everyone hate Tories has worked. you can stop now"...

Osborne asks mates for joke ideas for his Budget speech 0
paddyparkinson 3 years

"Making the budget speech can be a real downer for the whole nation" said George Osborne. The Chancellor returned from his trip to the US to deliver his annual budget speech but has been asking...

"Go Compare" opera singer revealed to be Rafael Benitez 0
paddyparkinson 3 years
Pessimistic teacher sacked because his class was always half full. 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Restaurants introduce Hors d'oeuvres tracking. 0
Ian Searle 3 years

This will let you know when they will be delivered. If you are not at your table when they arrive they can be left in a safe place, on a neighbouring table, or will be returned to the kitchen and...