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Sunderland ready to assume ‘absolute power’ in Premier League...

In his first week as manager, Paolo Di Canio has dedicated himself to making Sunderland the greatest club in the country. At a press conference in the town square, with a turnout of a size rarely...

Tripod 03.04.13 12:44pm
Hotel California to review check-out policy in light of Tripadvisor ratings

A popular Californian hotel has admitted that ‘serious administrative oversights’ may have contributed to an onslaught of damning feedback on travel website, ‘We are heartened...

Mary Evans 03.04.13 12:34pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
New Sunderland manager to play without left wingers 2
Oxbridge 03.04.13 12:19pm
Ian Duncan Smith to live on air “Live On Air” for new radio show

Ian Duncan Smith is to take part in a live daily radio show which charts his progress as he attempts to live purely on air. The Minister made his claim that he could live on air on the Today...

CulchaVulcha 03.04.13 12:13pm
Government announces improved 3-tier benefits system - and at no cost to you!.

Beaming with pride, his chest puffed out like a cock ptarmigan on a crisp winters morn, a strutting chancellor proclaimed to an invited press pack last evening as "nothing short of miraculous" the...

BewsNiscuit 03.04.13 11:19am
Di Canio salute "just a routine check to see if deodorant was still working" 0
sydalg 03.04.13 10:35am
Derby man's scorching display nails Game of Thrones' extreme fanboy award 0
Nowherefast 03.04.13 10:30am
Government Accepts Sociologists' Recommendations - Introduces New Social League

The Government has, this morning, announced that it is to introduce a new social league to define social class and to let the various classes know their place. The old three-tier system is out with...

BewsNiscuit 03.04.13 9:03am
Sociologists Now Divide Social Class Into Seven New Categories

(1) Working Class = people doing essential or at least useful jobs and being paid rubbish money for doing so, (2) Not-working Class = people doing naff-all and getting paid more for doing that than...

Titus 03.04.13 8:57am
Derek Grub (45) Gloucester's river aficionado voted Severn Bore of 2013 0
simonjmr 03.04.13 8:40am
Roy Walker and Jim Bowen to tour: The Pope and the DG of the BBC show 0
simonjmr 03.04.13 8:36am
Kylie Cloned Without Her Consent - 2

An official inquiry into unethical practices of an international network of medical scientists uncovered the shocking news of a living human clone, already in the media. It was discovered that while...

Big Ben 03.04.13 8:30am
Al OPecia
£53 to live on a week? Iain Duncan Smith diary of so-called hardship - Day 1

Awake before 9 today, up ready to pick up the Ocado delivery, technically I bought this weeks food last week, so this won't come out of the £53. Budgeting like this is an important lesson for many...

thisisall1word 03.04.13 8:21am
Mary Evans
Decline in self immolation blamed on rising fuel prices 0
Dick Everyman 03.04.13 6:52am
Dick Everyman
Man Who Burned Six Of His Children To Death "Not An Imigrant" Shock

(One wonders what kind of a time he's going to have while he's in prison. Or if he will even survive for very long )...

Titus 03.04.13 2:25am
Sesquipedalian Self in fourteen letter fury

Clever-clogs funny-man Will Self today unleashed a damning broadside against US game manufacturer Hasbro, for what he called “the dumbing down of the English language”., The outburst, in an...

Isaac Aynscough 03.04.13 2:13am
Don't believe in false hope says head of sect that preaches about an afterlife. - 2 41
MADJEZ 03.04.13 1:57am
‘Unscheduled landing on water’ just euphemism for ‘fatal crash’, admits airline.

Trans-Hebridean Air, which carries passengers between the Scottish mainland and the Western Isles, has come clean about the safety announcements that precede take-off. “We make great efforts to...

Tripod 03.04.13 1:42am
Benefits Cap To Replace Top Hat in Tory Monopoly Set 1
thisisall1word 03.04.13 1:35am
Benefit claimants can sell their £26,000 benefit caps 2
Not Amused 03.04.13 12:21am
Not Amused
Turin Shroud a total fake, says face of Jesus on potato

Experts investigating the Turin Shroud have finally resorted to asking Jesus Himself, who has been making an appearance on the jacket of a potato in Genoa. And his reply is unequivocal. Speaking in a...

sydalg 02.04.13 11:05pm
It looks like Ireland have gone for a kidney transplant. 0
irreverendJ 02.04.13 10:36pm
Iain Duncan Smith:'I could live on air'

Department of Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith says he could live on air. Asked on the Today programme if he could live on air, Mr Duncan Smith took a deep breath and said, 'Yes, if I...

roybland 02.04.13 10:34pm
Sunderland "looking forward" to away friendly with Sudetenland 0
nickb 02.04.13 10:26pm
Jerseys found hanging upside down in Sunderland dressing room 0
sydalg 02.04.13 10:19pm
Scientists baffled by athlete who gave 110%

He's broken the world record and the first law of thermodynamics exclaims commentator...

blacklesbianandproudofit 02.04.13 10:01pm
Market Trader: 'I could get by on £10k a Week if I had to'

Steven Jones, a London market trader has stated today that he could manage to live on an income of £10,000 a week, quite easily, if he had to. Mr Jones held a press conference today in which he...

Alfred Noakes 02.04.13 10:01pm
Alfred Noakes
Nimby Caught Tresspassing 0
BewsNiscuit 02.04.13 9:52pm
'Chris Huhne managing to spend far less than £53 a week' says Iain Duncan-Smith 4
ianslat 02.04.13 9:45pm
Al OPecia
Duncan Smith to marry dog following online petition 0
BAJDixon 02.04.13 9:21pm