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Sycophants in the room, say Elephants better at being in the room than they are 0
Iamthestig 3 years
Fabieo Capello's vocabulary of 100 words "too complicated" for players 3
Danny 3 years

Most of the England squad do not have a vocabulary of 100 words...

'Your nation should settle on a democratic election process' 3
Ironduke 3 years

Libyan people tell Britain...

FYI doesn't mean the same in Newcastle, scientists discover. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Census statistics to include visiting enforcement officers 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

The Office for Meaningless Numbers has confirmed that officers from the OMN who visit households that haven't returned a census form will be included in the information sent in by those households.,...

Airline with record on-time running actually "24 hours behind schedule" 1
Nick McCarr 3 years
Scrapped Japanese nuclear reactors to be shipped to UK by Daily Mail 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

The Daily Mail has agreed to pay for the scapped Fukushima nuclear reactors and their associated waste materials to be brought the UK., 'This will be of great benefit to us,' said Paul Dacre. 'It...

Prof. Brian Cox implodes and becomes black dwarf 1
Scroat 3 years

That old devil Moon...

Obama considers arming rebels but will cut short of giving them hands. 0
Basil_B 3 years
Japan not to recycle stricken reactors as they are Fukd-u-see-ma 0
simonjmr 3 years
Jamie Oliver's programmes to be subtitled in English 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

After complaints from viewers, the BBC has taken the decision to subtitle Jamie Oliver's programmes so that they can be understood outside of Essex. For example: Y'alright, gals an' geezers. (Good...

Admin error blamed for sacked worker getting E45 2
Mrblacker 3 years
Tough, Love. 0
3 years

The Equality and Human Rights Commission has published the findings and draft recommendations of it's two year investigation into High Street Supermarkets. It makes uncomfortable reading. Based...

Katie Price to play Ms Marple 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

Disney has announced that Katie Price will play Ms Marple in their new version of the classic stories., A spokesman for Disney said: 'We are thrilled to have such a renown actress play such a...

Jackie Chan reincarnated 0
gaijintendo 3 years

Jackie Chan is reborn...

Government to hold referendum on method of voting in AV referendum 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

Nick Clegg today announced that there will be a referendum on the type of voting system people want in the AV referendum., He said: 'At the moment, you can either vote Yes or, if you're particularly...

Search is on for a bunch of losers to represent UK in Eurovision Song Contest 7
John Wiltshire 3 years

The BBC has launched its annual search for talent-free no-hopers for this year's Eurovision Song Contest., 'It's an exciting time for us,' said Bill Dreary, the BBC's Head of Losing Things. 'It's...

University of Bedfordshire's new fees and slogan - "£4,500! Why pay more?" 2
BillyBitzer 3 years
Fearing defeat, Gadaffi takes out insurance policy for his good looks 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Universities break up for Easter: lecturers fail to notice 0
dannyboy206 3 years

(More soon)...

Cameron to run AV referendum using AV voting rules. More soon. 0
MC One R 3 years
Osborne to increase tax on pocket money 2
3 years

In a new bid to help reduce the deficit George Osborne has today unveiled plans to increase the current tax rate on pocket money from 0 to 5% on £2 per week and then a 10% level once pocket money...

England captaincy to be divided by AV 1
dannyboy206 3 years

(More soon)...

Cate Middleton watching "The Tudors" for marital advice 0
Nick McCarr 3 years
Corporal Gaddafi insists that Libya is "business as usual" 0
Nick McCarr 3 years
Dignitas to open UK branch at Beachy Head 0
Manifestations of Baboonery 3 years

I want to work this up into a full story but it just popped into my head (the idea for the story not topping myself)so I thought I'd ask you'll what you thought. Cheers, MoB...

Rick Stein to own the souls of every Cornish man, woman and child 24
Manifestations of Baboonery 3 years

Rick Stein to own the souls of every Cornish man, woman and child following a “tea-room” deal with the Government After successfully buying the entire village of Padstow in the early 90s and...

Red Arrows on standby for No-Fly Zone Grand Finale spectacular. 1
malgor 3 years

The organisers of Farnborough Air Display have announced a ‘very special event’ this year, with the show relocating from its traditional Hampshire setting to the ‘vast, empty skies above...

Royal Wedding's official creepy sycophant to be Ben Elton 1
ronseal 3 years
Royal Wedding Breakfast to be Fish and Chips from Ian Beale's. 1
Ian Searle 3 years

Wrapped in copies of the Walford Gazette...