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5 stars outbreak as more Newsbiscuit writers award themselves top marks 19
Mr Payne 3 years

5 stars for this post, naturally...

FIFA vote by 372 to 17 not to postpone the election as all 189 votes are in 0
virtuallywill 3 years

sums later...

Palin tour bus has bomb on board that will explode if she travels below 50mph 2
Ludicity 3 years

The much-heralded Sarah Palin One Nation Bus Tour has been given an added level of excitement after it was revealed that there is a bomb on board that will detonate if she takes her foot off the...

'I am the ship's captain.' says Edward John Blatter. 0
Mr Payne 3 years
Blatter: 'World Cup to be awarded by 208 FIFA members - slush funds now open!' 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

FIFA president Sepp Blatter today acted to head off criticism of the way World Cup venues are decided by making it the vote of all member nations. All 208 members were in complete agreement with...

Cowell slams 'mediocre' BGT hopefuls - 'They're too good for this show!' 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

Simon Cowell angrily attacked the quality of hopefuls for Britain's Got Talent But You Wouldn't Know It From This. He blasted them all as 'mediocre', and demanded a much lower quality of no-hopers.,...

Abuse investigation reveals elderly people are being forced to live in Bristol 1
Qoxiivi 3 years
Space shuttle Endeavour held up at Heathrow. 0
SingingHinny 3 years
BBC withholds evidence of gross misconduct until there is a scheduling gap. 0
SingingHinny 3 years
NHS hospitals to be reviewed after Panorama exposes care quality gap. 0
SingingHinny 3 years
West Ham to sack Allardyce. 0
SingingHinny 3 years
Francis Ford Coppola to film three-part story of Sepp Blatter's career. 0
SingingHinny 3 years
Scottish news: Salmond wants Edinburgh Tattoo removed on the NHS... 0
be reasonable 3 years
Cheryl Cole confirmed as judge at Mladic trial 12
Ludicity 3 years

Fresh from her removal on American X Factor Cheryl Cole is to take up a new position at The Hague as a judge in the trial of alleged war criminal Ratko Mladic. ‘I have already proved my judging...

Mobiles cancer link scare causes Mothercare and Fisher-Price shares to plummet 0
pinxit 3 years
Dignitas to serve cucumber in its restaurant 0
John Wiltshire 3 years
Prince William to complain Blatter "acting like an unelected Monarch". 0
Al OPecia 3 years

More humbug soon...

Missing radio 4 pips found in infected cucumber. More soo-o-o-o-o-oooon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Daily Mail fail to cover cancer story 0
dannyboy206 3 years

The British tabloid newspaper the Daily Mail has come under fire after failing to print a story on cancer. The newspaper, which is known for its reports on cutting edge surveys and studies (as well...

East London BNP face nightmare scenario of foreign invasion for Olympics 0
JohnA 3 years

"By this time next year there'll be no room to swing your bicycle chain"...

Pepsi worried that FIFA sponsorship will leave a bad taste... 0
deskpilot3 3 years
Pools panel to decide FIFA election. 0
deskpilot3 3 years
Cameron serves burgers for Obama. Clegg gets cucumber salad. 0
deskpilot3 3 years
"Final push" against Gaddafi will see Tripoli bombed with millions of cucumbers. 0
deskpilot3 3 years
Apple launch new iTumour app 0
charlies_hat 3 years

hat tip to Milo...

New ‘symptom’ app available for Mobile phone cancer sufferers. 1
Milo Shame 3 years

Tomorrow will see the launch of a new app on I-Tunes that will allow mobile users to confirm if they are suffering from brain cancer associated with too much mobile phone usage. Designers for the...

Chris Hoy slams Olympic 'lottery' and refuses to compete in women's archery 0
3 years
Hague announces that Mladic will not be sharing a twin room 0
charlies_hat 3 years
UK Olympic flame relay to continue exciting tradition of fascist torch parades 11
rickwestwell 3 years

Sporting excitement in the UK is mounting to fever pitch following the announcement of the route to be taken by the Olympic torch relay next year. Few people have a keener sense of tradition than the...

Blatter to use Alternative Bribe system 1
John Wiltshire 3 years

Embattled FIFA president Sepp Blatter has announced he will introduce the Alternative Bribe system into future FIFA dealings. 'Under the new system,' he explained, 'if I get less than 50% of the...