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Toxic clouds threaten to scupper polling day 0
Duff 3 years

Polling stations all over the country may have to close mid-voting, as significant numbers of officials are standing outside having a quick fag to alleviate the boredom of ticking peoples' names off...
Polling interrupted as superheroes revel in convenient changing facilities. 0
MightyBlair 3 years

'There just aren't enough telephone booths and the queue at Primark is just mental', claims Wonderwoman...
'Ejector seats in pojjing booth' design misprint ruins school roofs, exit polls 1
QorbeQ 3 years
Cameron swings student voting by labour. 0
MightyBlair 3 years

'It's, like, totally ironic', says student, before returning to Jeremy Kyle for the lie-detector test...
Sky's 'Election HD' cancelled as Kay Burley's anti-wrinkle-cream tanker runs dry 0
QorbeQ 3 years
Entry polls being conducted at Dignitas. 0
Stan Laurel 3 years
Early exit polls suggest many voters 'up way too early'. More soon. 0
QorbeQ 3 years
Nation mourns loss of 'exciting, captivating' electioneering campaign 0
QorbeQ 3 years
‘Millions may benefit from Yar’Adua’s will’ claims Nigerian email 2
malgor 3 years

A leaked email from acting Nigerian President Goodluck Jonathan has revealed that millions of British citizens may benefit under the terms of the will of the late President Yar’Adua, who died on...
Sun "Newspaper" gives away Election wallchart: With both blue and red crayons 0
virtuallywill 3 years

Fill it in later...
Dimbleby accused of substance misuse after introducing BBC's 'Election and ting' 0
QorbeQ 3 years
UK electorate may face ash chaos as Gordon Brown threatens to erupt 1
The Paper Ostrich 3 years

The United Kingdom may need to be closed down for six or seven days after Prime Minister Gordon Brown showed signs of erupting into a huge cloud of volcanic ash, experts say. Dr Phil Weston,...
Norfolk voters urged to sign name in ballot box to avoid spoiling paper 0
edward hack 3 years
Poem for Election Day 0
PluckyMunky 3 years

'It is an ancient Mariner,, And he stoppeth one of three., 'By thy long grey beard and glittering eye,, Now wherefore stopp'st thou me?'...
"Ousted MP glut will lead to benefits crisis", warns DWP chief 0
AdrianJ 3 years

The senior civil servant in charge of the Department for Work and Pensions, Leigh Lewis, has issued a stern warning that the country's benefits system is in danger of, "complete collapse", as a...
Pay wrangle sees street lights strike over unsociable hours. 0
MightyBlair 3 years
Al Qaeda 'bored with hide and seek'; Bin Laden declares 'thumb war' 0
MightyBlair 3 years
Even with Election coverage in HD , people still can't see the point of voting . 0
mrlemoncurry 3 years

a night in with a dvd to follow....
Republican zealots incensed by crude oil. 0
MightyBlair 3 years
Oil drift stops after thousands of Americans spotted on beach. 0
MightyBlair 3 years
Theif posed as theif to burgle home of Stockport Woman 3
Basil_B 3 years

Mrs Ivy Johnson of 6, risehill top claimed she was taken by complete surprise by a man dressed in a black and white hooped top, black eye mask and beret knocking on her front door asking if he could...
BP: "Of course it's the biggest, we're British" 0
Iscariot 3 years
Brown denies bunker mentality as he asks advisers ‘what would Hitler do’ 0
MADJEZ 3 years

Reports are coming in from London that Conservative forces have entered the city from the West. Several quanqoes have been overrun with auditors and management consultants asking what exactly they do...
Fox News reports Athens riots have left parts of the city in ruins 3
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Sue decides to skip Labour's post election party. 0
Stan Laurel 3 years
Ropemakers go into overtime to supply Hung Parliament 0
Mrblacker 3 years
Michael Caine explains Tory affiliation - "I was just acting" 0
TerribleTim 3 years
Direct mail sector to announce heavy redundancies on May 6th 0
TerribleTim 3 years
Unborn baby is served an ASBO in landmark judgement 1
Duff 3 years

In what's believed to be the first incident of its kind, it's been announced that an unborn baby has been served with an ASBO. The London Borough of Greenwich, following an unprecedented course of...
Brown denies elections getting easier 0
antharrison 3 years