Topic — Add New » Comments Votes Author Last Comment
Putin kept Obama on-hold for 59 minutes.

It has transpired that President Obama's hour-long conversation with his Russian counterpart consisted mostly of on-hold music., After almost an hour of 'Happy' by Pharrell Williams, the final...

8
Boutros 07.03.14 9:21pm
Squudge
Ukranian skiers vow to boycott paralympics over crisis if it goes downhill 0
bookiesfriend 07.03.14 9:06pm
bookiesfriend
Obama demands Black Sea be renamed African-European Sea.

Putin says its a load of Baltics...

0
Maverick 07.03.14 8:18pm
Maverick
DEFRA's Plan B: Spread Rumour That All Badgers Are Godless Infidel Westerners 0
Titus 07.03.14 7:48pm
Titus
Lack of Returning Badgers Encouraging To Nay-Sayers & Ticker Hopefuls!

[s]Slayers![/s]...

0
BewsNiscuit 07.03.14 7:41pm
BewsNiscuit
Cockroach speaks of 'terrifying ordeal' in restaurant shooting.

A cockroach took the stand today to give evidence in the trial of South African athlete Oscar Pistorius. The roach told a hushed courtroom how it lay cowering on the floor under a restaurant table...

10
Boutros 07.03.14 7:28pm
Squudge
Putin gets a third of all votes in electoral college for Crimean referendum. 0
Electrelane 07.03.14 7:27pm
Electrelane
Coprophiliac frog poisoned by toad stool 9
sydalg 07.03.14 7:26pm
Maverick
I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Crimea

Anton Deck, the producer of the cult reality show 'I'm a celebrity' has confirmed that the show is to relocate to the Ukraine for the next series. 'This will reenergise the show,' he said...

1
throngsman 07.03.14 7:25pm
Electrelane
Legal Fee Cuts “Will Hit Au Pairs Hardest”

The Criminal Bar Association has opposed cuts to legal aid fees, highlighting the folly of taking legal advice from anybody earning less than £500k. “English justice is the envy of the world”,...

1
deceangli 07.03.14 7:03pm
throngsman
Top Barrister Agrees To Share Fees With Juniors and Pupils Shock! 0
BewsNiscuit 07.03.14 6:22pm
BewsNiscuit
Nigel Farage apologises for talking sense

In what appears to be an uncharacteristic lapse, Nigel Farage, leader of the United Kingdom Independence Party, UKIP, has made a seemingly sensible statement. An embarrassed Mr Farage told reporters...

0
throngsman 07.03.14 6:06pm
throngsman
Clegg 'all shook up' by Bus Pass Elvis Party's performance.

Uh-huh! It's sure to be always on Nick Clegg's mind this weekend and he's bound to be way on down in the dumps, as he's forced to come to terms with his party having been humiliated in The Clifton...

0
Duff 07.03.14 5:40pm
Duff
Kerry Gets Confused After Long Periods of Fruitless Negotiations.

It has now been confirmed that John Kerry had been negotiating for hours with Nigel Farage about independence issues. Kerry apparently mistook him for Dmitry Medvedev, who he thought looked quite...

1
Guillermo De Snookio 07.03.14 5:29pm
custard cream
Met Apologises for Crimea and Orders Undercover "Agent Vladimir" Back to London

"It was one of the more ambitious missions for the SDS", explained Metropolitan Police Commissioner Sir Bernard Hogan-Howe. "Back in the 70s there was widespread concern about left-wing extremists -...

2
deceangli 07.03.14 5:28pm
throngsman
Sunshine 'Nothing to do with Lib Dems' says Cameron

Some say it's the honeymoon effect wearing off, others say it's the end of bullish*t, but David Cameron has clearly moved on from his 'we're all in this together' speeches where he claimed that 'me...

0
throngsman 07.03.14 5:26pm
throngsman
Clegg 'angry' to find out Belgium is in the EU

Nick Clegg, the deputy Prime Minister - or 'domestic help' as David Cameron calls him, is reported to be angry to find out that not only is Belgium a real place, it's actually a member of the EU....

1
throngsman 07.03.14 5:13pm
deceangli
Coprophilliac suffers motion sickness 0
Smart Alex 07.03.14 5:13pm
Smart Alex
Russia to claim a third of all Ukraininan paralympic medals 0
Scronnyglonkle 07.03.14 5:11pm
Scronnyglonkle
Chairman on the toilet declares 'This motion is passed'. 0
Electrelane 07.03.14 5:09pm
Electrelane
Coprophiliac arrested during three course meal 'caught between stools' 0
Electrelane 07.03.14 5:09pm
Electrelane
Coprophiliac admits he sees poetry in motion 1
sydalg 07.03.14 5:08pm
Smart Alex
Man fails to find coin eaten by dog - admits to just going through the motions 0
Smart Alex 07.03.14 4:31pm
Smart Alex
Next country to be invaded by Russia during an Olympics to be named

The result of the bidding to be the next country to be invaded by Russia during an Olympics are set to be announced at a glitzy ceremony in St Tropez later today. The competition hasn't been as...

6
johnnydobbo 07.03.14 4:18pm
Sinnick
CNN Anchor Revealed as Mechanoid

Boring, monotonous, Wolf Half O’Witz becomes stuck in replay mode giving out the same information every two minutes and congratulating complete dickheads on giving good briefings. The lack of...

0
Guillermo De Snookio 07.03.14 4:18pm
Guillermo De Snookio
Met Denies Laughing Policeman Was Sexist, Racist and/or Corrupt

"Risible! You're 'avin a laugh.! Wooaaaaahhh-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Haaaa. Woaahhh-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Haaaaa. Woaahhh-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha. ...

2
BewsNiscuit 07.03.14 4:12pm
BewsNiscuit
Both Sides in the Ukraine Making Use of Civilian Irregulars

It has been confirmed that both of the opposing factions have large numbers of ‘Poseurs’ and ‘Babushkas’ units, the latter, armed with 300mm heavy handbags. The [s]Soviet[/s] Russian side are...

0
Guillermo De Snookio 07.03.14 4:08pm
Guillermo De Snookio
Court rules in favour of ice pops. 5
Squudge 07.03.14 3:15pm
custard cream
Undercover Met Officers Infiltrate NB - Giveaway Is The Persistent 1 Star Awards

Hat tip to Gingerclive...

4
Titus 07.03.14 2:49pm
Titus
Police Mason infiltration unit disbanded 2
Bigglesworth 07.03.14 2:46pm
Ironduke