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'We're better prepared for a nasty cold than ever', says government

The government defended its purchase of £600 million worth of Tamiflu. 'We've all experienced really bad colds,' said a spokesman, 'and if someone else you know has got a cold as well, well that's...

2
throngsman 10.04.14 8:12pm
Titus
France bans work emails after 6pm and lolcats in the office before 10am

In what is being seen as a 'tit for cat' retaliatory measure, Gallic big business plans to restrict private internet use in the office in response to workers being protected from intrusive emails at...

0
Wrenfoe 10.04.14 6:01pm
Wrenfoe
DEFRA to recommend Ebola cultivation to stop spread of Guinea Pigs

Props to Andy for the idea...

0
camz 10.04.14 4:45pm
camz
Prince George to replace William Hague in diplomatic move

Following his first successful international public engagement, Prince George, the third in line to the British throne is to replace the current Foreign Secretary, William Hague. The young royal’s...

0
Dick Everyman 10.04.14 4:36pm
Dick Everyman
Solar powered plane proving so popular it will offer night flights. More soon. 3
dominic_mcg 10.04.14 3:03pm
Titus
Court rules 'Nigelling' legal.

More forced drunken sex soon...

0
MADJEZ 10.04.14 2:33pm
MADJEZ
Man hates smartphones but not as much as not having one 0
Dumbnews 10.04.14 2:16pm
Dumbnews
Auto-industry admits 'only the unicycle' is safe

In a year that has seen General Motors (GM) recall 2.6m cars and Toyota 6.4m, there is a growing appreciation that the car is a glorified 'casket on wheels'. Manufacturers have been forced to...

1
Wrenfoe 10.04.14 1:50pm
Not Amused
Government wastes £74M on drugs - "our dealer swore it was good shit"

More to follow...

0
apepper 10.04.14 1:11pm
apepper
Free speech to cost 5p per word until deficit zero says Osborne 0
farmer giles 10.04.14 11:05am
farmer giles
David Cameron Acknowledges the Existence of Women

In the face or rising criticism from his backbench MPs, earlier today the Prime Minister David Cameron admitted the existence of women. Despite having allowed a few to slip past his screening...

1
Deimos 10.04.14 11:02am
Titus
Diplomatic chaos as Iran attempts to harness power of ‘butterfly effect’

UN inspectors have been asked to investigate allegations that Iran has been secretly developing weapons grade butterflies in an attempt to use chaos theory to launch hurricanes around the world....

13
Ludicity 10.04.14 10:33am
Titus
Prospective Salford MP Bez gives support to the 'Millions wasted on drugs' 1
Backup Brian 10.04.14 9:11am
virtuallywill
ECT to be used to repossess education from student loan defaulters 1
RobArmstrong 10.04.14 8:35am
Al OPecia
State of Maria Miller scandal upgraded to 'Lessons Learned'

The Maria Miller scandal has been re-classified as a Lessons Learned grade crisis by spin doctors at Downing Street. Previously the threat was categorised by tenancy protection experts at number 10...

0
ronseal 10.04.14 7:31am
ronseal
Tamiflu 'even better value than Thalidomide' says government 0
throngsman 10.04.14 7:07am
throngsman
GM recall: 'yeah we remember making shit cars' 1
throngsman 09.04.14 10:04pm
Al OPecia
Irritating pop-up blue plaque for paperclip inventor

It looks like you are installing a commemorative plaque. Would you like me to :, - hide your drill ?, - kick the ladder away when you're half way through ?, - point out a typo after you've...

5
NewBiscuit 09.04.14 8:14pm
GrumpyCat
Heartbleed virus: stay off internet until all clear email arrives, says expert 0
throngsman 09.04.14 8:03pm
throngsman
Study shows fewer people enjoy reading. Berkshire council worried. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 09.04.14 7:56pm
dominic_mcg
CNN news anchor asks a sensible question about missing flight MH370. 0
Schoolboy 09.04.14 7:08pm
Schoolboy
Cameron caught off guard as things go quite well for a fortnight 0
Schoolboy 09.04.14 7:05pm
Schoolboy
Fall predicted in parents naming children after fruit. 0
Andy Gilder 09.04.14 6:26pm
Andy Gilder
Russia furious over unannounced test of PM's full confidence 1
Bigglesworth 09.04.14 6:22pm
Bigglesworth
Met unveil lottery process to decide who to charge next over Blakelock killing 0
RobArmstrong 09.04.14 4:18pm
RobArmstrong
Commons Standards Committee Given New Powers Including Waterboarding

A new 'beefed up' Commons Standards Committee will be able to ask more questions of MPs with the option of using enhanced techniques like waterboarding to extract information. A source said "The MPs...

0
Dun Dunkin 09.04.14 2:49pm
Dun Dunkin
Parents shocked to find real students aren't like the ones in the BT ads 0
gnarlyb 09.04.14 1:34pm
gnarlyb
Old woman goes swimming despite fear of getting hair wet 0
gnarlyb 09.04.14 1:32pm
gnarlyb
Miller finally runs out of fuel and plummets from a great height 2
Kevin the Swan 09.04.14 1:07pm
AReader
DEFRA to recommend Guinea Pig cull to stop spread of Ebola 0
Andy Gilder 09.04.14 12:38pm
Andy Gilder