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Redundant sailors to be offered jobs as bin men. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Met Office finally admits that they have outsourced English Summer to India 2
brownpaperreporter 3 years
Higgs Boson Discovered Hiding in Compound Under Noses of CERN Physicists 0
kga6 3 years

US intelligence claims a raid by US Navy Seals in the early hours of the morning has found and destroyed the Higgs Boson. The particle is said to have been inches away from the particle detectors in...

"MJ was sick" judge tells court 0
Gary Baldy 3 years

Proving his "street" credentials, the judge let the youths of LA know he can speak their language...

Black box manufacturers challenged to think inside the box 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Conference on Insomnia finds cure, attending conferences 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Parents protest at Mattel's release of Action Man "Taliban Suicide Bomber" 7
brownpaperreporter 3 years

"Pull the cord, 'Allah is Great' and Boom! and that's £8.99 gone" is the verdict of one consumer Mattel have admitted that the use of minature Semtex vests had been "over zealous" and will in...

Michael Jacksons doctor.... oh honestly who gives a fuck ! 0
MADJEZ 3 years

Copywriters lost their patience soon...

Nurse who couldn't find patient's cervix says she was smeared 0
roybland 3 years
Ferdinand loses court case to get model to kiss and tell 0
Perks 3 years Rio Ferdinand today lost his high court battle to get a model who he claims to have had 'relations' with to tell all in the...

Fake medicine trade: Boots offer two for the price of one 0
roybland 3 years
iPhone 5 latest leaks - "slightly better than iPhone 4" 0
apepper 3 years

There are strong rumours that the new iPhone is going to be a little bit better than the old one. "I'm going to buy two.", said an iPhone 4 owner, "It's going to be so much better than the old one,...

New Saudi Travel Lodge "a disgrace" 0
Drylaw 3 years

Budget hotel chain Travel Lodge's new venture in Saudi Arabia - Riyadh West - was given a one-star rating only yesterday on travellers' website Trip Advisor. Guests Ron and Noreen Francis from...

Jacko doc: “He was all white when I left him” 8
beau-jolly 3 years
Bill Oddie to Present New BBC Documentary 'Jeeps on Peaks' 0
kga6 3 years

A new one-off documentary on BBC 1 this week looks to document the plight of the endangered Mountain Jeep, native only to Snowdonia, Wales. The program sees Oddie camp on Snowdon for a week in a bid...

4x4 spotted on Snowdon again - Richard Attenborough investigates 0
witless 3 years

Spotted 4x4's extremely rare...

Employment market for hate-figures reaching saturation point, experts claim 8
Qoxiivi 3 years

An entire generation of aspiring arseholes could be forced to pursue meaningful employment as the job market for media hate-figures reaches saturation point, recruitment experts have warned. Tim...

Yorkshire charged with excessive vowel use 5
Jimbo 3 years

There are plenty of good writers on here that should be able to do something with this title...

Rift off for wocket men 0
spoole2112 3 years

To the collective sound of 1,339,724,852 "ooh's" and "aah's", China belatedly joined the space race today as their first space lab was launched from a two hundred foot milk bottle at the bottom of...

Nicorette addiction now major health concern 0
Steve Wilson 3 years
delightfullyodd 3 years

WITH his £250,000 per week salary topping up his bank account and his petted lip topping up the hatred for him, it seems that Manchester City striker, Carlos Tevez is no stranger to the churlish...

Deep sea diving lawyer claimed to have a water tight case. 4
spoole2112 3 years

More later...

Judge in Conrad Murray case rejects ‘Come on, I’m bad’ as legitimate defence 1
Qoxiivi 3 years
Escort agency owner delighted with Ford Escort 0
nickb 3 years

“I really do love the 1994 Ford Escort hatchback we’ve just acquired. As a straightforward prostitute-mover, it really has everything,” says Marion Jenkins of South Yorkshire. “We have...

Intel announces plans to have already released new Intel Neutrino processor 7
Qoxiivi 3 years

More soon You know, like the centrino but ahfuckitwhat'sthepoint...

Reebok trainers did not cure tone deaf 6
witless 3 years

Sports goods maker Reebok will pay $25m to settle charges brought by the Musicians Union that it made unsupported claims about its Easy Tone and Run Tone shoes. Trainee musicians across the world...

Freudian slips by Golden Showers Lingerie, on sale at Eboy for 99 pee 0
witless 3 years

by now price...

Bramble acquitted: Judge rules him 'incapable of possession.' 2
Jammydodgers 3 years

"He went nowhere near the ball for 5 years, for Christ sake", commented one newcastle supporter., The trial judge dismissed the case after 53000 Newcastle United fans, independently testified to...

'Fried egg' star found near Milky way, but you can only look at it between meals 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Free transfer for nursery nurse fed up with returning footballer's toys to pram 0
spoole2112 3 years

More later...