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London marathon runner raises £1m for existential angst charity

London marathon runner raises £1m for existential angst victims London marathon runner, Nigel Mortimer, is celebrating this morning after raising £1m for the victims of crippling existential angst...

Gary Stanton 17.04.14 12:34pm
Not Amused
1960s Rock Group Procol Harum Deny Responibility For Nigerian Bombing More only-half-listened-to news stories later...

Titus 17.04.14 12:24pm
Machete website hacks bamboo furniture website 2
camz 17.04.14 11:21am
Not Amused
Taliban to Form a Coalition with UKIP

Taliban spokesman Hed Bashir, has confirmed that the Taliban is in broad agreement with most of the policies adopted by UKIP, in particular on women’s rights, foreigners and gays. One of the...

Rumour Control 17.04.14 10:57am
Rumour Control
Labour 'quietly confident' about getting rid of Balls.

Sources from within the Labour Party were preparing celebrations at the news that they might finally be able to get rid of electoral anvil and Shadow Chancellor Ed Balls. News of the story that Balls...

electrelane 17.04.14 10:40am
'Justice For The Heysel 39' T-Shirt Sales 'Poor' Admits Liverpool Trader.

Just for Custard Cream...

JETFAB 17.04.14 10:20am
custard cream
Finnish Porn Stamps Withdrawn After Customers Refuse To Lick Back Sides 1
pinxit 17.04.14 9:42am
Paxo offer 100 packets for the price of 90, exclusively in Hertfordshire 0
cinquecento 17.04.14 9:10am
Balls quizzed about whereabouts on 31st August 1997

Serial hit and runner, Ed Balls, has been questioned by police regarding the tragic death of Princess Diana. Balls maintains he was in was in Calais at the time in question, purchasing large...

Mork 17.04.14 7:13am
Man who threatened to blow up Ludo board accused of counter terrorism 1
Ian Searle 17.04.14 6:38am
World map re-drawn as one colour to discourage dictators 1
camz 17.04.14 6:36am
Wino auctions off football trophies

Sir Rab Robertson is to auction his collection of classic football trophies, which he began amassing over the years as a hobby to take his mind off the pressure of being a top-tier lush. Winners...

pinxit 17.04.14 5:39am
Vatican shop to accept Papal 0
Adrian Bamforth 16.04.14 11:30pm
Adrian Bamforth
New book on DIY levitation literally flies off the shelf 0
Ian Searle 16.04.14 8:46pm
Ian Searle
Berlusconi begins community service. Disappointed by "Bingo Bingo" parties 0
Andy Gilder 16.04.14 8:30pm
Andy Gilder
Ed Balls 'unaware' of being an epic twat

. (yes, yes I know - but I wanted to see it up in lights if only for a moment)...

sponge finger 16.04.14 8:04pm
Banksy to exclusively use load bearing walls as canvas from now on 2
Bigglesworth 16.04.14 7:51pm
South Uist Demands Independence From North Uist

Benbecula already annexed by Russia...

Titus 16.04.14 7:46pm
Inhabitants Of Hertfordshire Fear Attack From The Rhea 0
Titus 16.04.14 5:33pm
New Moon Peggy 'Demands Independence From Saturn' 0
Titus 16.04.14 5:31pm
UKIP Flattered That The Times Has At Last Bothered To Question Their Expenses 0
Titus 16.04.14 5:07pm
Oscar Pistorius diagnosed as suffering from 'my lady' syndrome

Can't stop saying it at the end of every sentence...

custard cream 16.04.14 4:13pm
Shooting Star Injures 11

This afternoon at Westfarms Mall in Farmington, CT former child star Nick Terringsley shot 11 people, killing four and injuring seven. Terringsley, known as “Lil Oakley” from the popular 1980’s...

bengedrink 16.04.14 3:56pm
Dick Everyman
London man charged with providing false information to Starbucks

In what is thought to be the first case of its kind a London man has been charged with providing misleading information and false names to staff at Coffee chain Starbucks. It is believed that when...

bookiesfriend 16.04.14 3:48pm
Vatican shocker : Nuns perform their daily chores out of habit. 4
camz 16.04.14 3:15pm
Can't believe that no one has any comedic comments about you know what

Fear factor I suppose - look what happened to Boris Johnson when he made comments...

custard cream 16.04.14 1:39pm
custard cream
Adoption agencies inundated with middle-class toddlers post-'Offer Day'

As UK primary schools announce their allocated places, aspiring parents have been forced to make some tough decisions between living with the shame of an infant in an average OFSTED institution or to...

Wrenfoe 16.04.14 1:36pm
Dick Everyman
Gove announces plans for Ofsted to inspect parents 1
Ian Searle 16.04.14 10:30am
Not Amused
Berlusconi insemination experiment 'huge success' say Edinburgh Zoo

Former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has been used to artificially inseminate a giant Panda say his lawyers., Staff at Edinburgh Zoo used the 77-year-old billionaire to impregnate the...

Mitt Walters 16.04.14 10:20am
Dick Everyman
Man living under a rock 'bloody tired' of Royal updates

A man living under a large rock in the middle of the Sahara desert with his eyes shut and fingers lodged in his ears has bemoaned the insufferable level of coverage about the Royal Family he has been...

David K 16.04.14 9:09am
Dick Everyman