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David Cameron's 'don't eat yellow snow' tip goes down badly in Italian Cafe. 1
Corrigan 3 years
Olympic flames arrive in London a year too soon. 2
Dickens or Shakespeare 3 years
Who's a big twat now, eh? jeers Marx from beyond grave 8
FraserWords 3 years

A smirking Karl Marx last night broke decades of silence and spoke from beyond the grave to jeer: “Who’s the big twat now, eh?”, As countries all over Europe opened tetchy letters from their...

Italian waitress digusted by Cameron leaving a tip in Euros. More soon. 1
Al OPecia 3 years
Red faces as George Michael wins Daily Mail's 'Dream Cottage' 15
3 years

There were red faces at the Daily Mail today, after George Michael was announced as the winner of their 'dream cottage' competition. What started as a minor disagreement rapidly escalated into a ...

DFS not looted in London riots 1
roybland 3 years
Dolphin Marries Tuna After Long Friendship 0
mugwump 3 years
Markets go ga ga in sync with Maggie. More soon. 2
Al OPecia 3 years
William Hague recognises Tottenham rioters as true government in London 1
William Pumpton 3 years

More to follow...

Berlusconi critical of British Premier's failure to consider waitresses tits 0
button 3 years

When in Rome...

British fashion writers slam London looters’ dress sense 0
antharrison 3 years

With London Fashion Week commencing in a little over a month, Britain’s fashion writers, presenters and commentators have united to criticise the poor dress sense adopted by many of the weekend’s...

Poor "cannot afford to riot" as cost of petrol bombs soars 0
bonjonelson 3 years
Ocado to introduce online looting. 1
the coarse whisperer 3 years
Cameron praises 'outstanding' coverage of London riots at pool bar 2
Darkbill 2.0 3 years

Prime Minister David Cameron last night praised the placement of two giant plasma screens in the pool bar at his luxury hotel in Italy. Mr Cameron who is on holiday in Tuscany said they offered him...

Clegg returns and declares "everything's OK now" before bursting into flames 0
FraserWords 3 years

Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg returned from holiday to take charge of Britain and issued his rallying call at a packed press conference: “Everything will be all right now.”, Mr Clegg paused...

Semi-naked Worthing pensioners loot Oxfam shop. 1
rebel not taken 3 years

Bored Worthing pensioners have caused outrage in the South Coast resort after another night of rioting and looting. A gang of rowdy geriatrics were spotted outside the town's Oxfam Shop with piles...

Sting blamed for recent outbreaks of luteing. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 3 years
Trophy-collecting trawlerman admits to possession of fish fingers 2
pinxit 3 years
The month's news in brief: Hacking in Luton. Looting in Hackney. 0
pinxit 3 years
IRA to close with loss of over 1,800 local jobs 0
William Pumpton 3 years

One of the last local terrorist organisations has today went into administration, putting over 1,800 local jobs at risk. To be confirmed at a press conference later on today, held in a secret...

More looters arrested after police find they checked in to shops on Facebook 0
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

Police in North London have made a further 50 arrests relating to the recent riots following the discovery of a Facebook group titled “I love lootin!!!”. The breakthrough came when police...

Robert Peston's online reports to be punctuated in Peston 5
virtuallywill 3 years

The loss of America's AAA credit rating(pause) shoutsloudly that there is risk in lending to America - which at a time of great stress in financial markets could be very...

Police and Kaiser Chiefs dispute whether riot could have been predicted. 7
MADJEZ 3 years
Whole Kosher thing ‘based on bronze-age weight-loss fads’, claims archaeologist 2
NewSuburbanDad 3 years

Dr Ilan Greenberg of the Hebrew University of Jerusalem announced yesterday that the whole concept of “Kosher” might be ‘a bit Atkins, a bit Dukan – you know, the usual weird shit’,...

Long queues at grand opening of Molotov Cocktail bar in north London 1
charlies_hat 3 years
Unrest spreads to Richmond as locals fear disruption to recycling collection 1
Long Distance Clara 3 years
PC world contact rioters to sell extended warranties on all looted goods 2
charlies_hat 3 years
Market traders seek safety of apples as soft fruit volatiliy continues 0
button 3 years
CBI report encouraging rise in demand for half bricks in London area. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Anthony Worrall Thompson Fire Pit Clarification 0
custard cream 3 years

La Hacienda, the makers of the popular garden product the Fire Pit, endorsed by celebrity chef Anthony Worrall Thompson, today made the following statement: "La Hacienda wish to inform customers of...