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Madame Tussaud's allows waxwork Berlusconi to run in Italian elections

just a headline!...

rosege 27.02.13 6:55pm
Punter lost £2 on 'unmiraculous' seven-horse accumulator, announces Ladbrokes

A 58-year-old unemployed welder, Fred Stubbs, failed by a wide margin to get lucky at the races yesterday, when only one of the seven horses he backed in an accumulator romped home in first at...

Oxbridge 27.02.13 5:47pm
Pope's resignation - now God's 'had enough'

God is said to 'have had it up to here' and is thinking of 'packing it in' following the resignation of Pope Benedict XVI and Cardinal Keith O'Brien. 'God's infinite patience is running out,' said...

roybland 27.02.13 5:24pm
Government Announce Use of Horsemeat Should Decline With Start Of Badger Cull

The Government announced today that it has acted quickly to address the public outcry over the detection of horsemeat in so many “Ready Meals”. Analysis by DEFRA has identified that as horsemeat...

Deimos 27.02.13 4:40pm
‘FA Cup with Budweiser’ has been watered down say Premier League Clubs

An FA enquiry into why so many Premier League Clubs have already been knocked out of this year’s ‘FA Cup with Budweiser’ competition has concluded that the King of Cups is not as intoxicating...

Midfield Diamond 27.02.13 4:19pm
Midfield Diamond
Fish angry at dumping ban identified as cause of Pope's choppy waters.

Surely not the last bad fish poo joke...

Not Amused 27.02.13 3:59pm
Not Amused
Titanic 2 yada yada yada claims publicity seeking billionaire.

More in 10 years time....

MADJEZ 27.02.13 2:54pm
Charity appeal on behalf of the Allergy Society.

Every day millions of parents all over the United Kingdom are forced to send their children to school without an allergy. However help is at hand for just £10,000 we can send parents and their...

godly1966 27.02.13 2:50pm
Whores meet to discuss food industry executives 0
Backup Brian 27.02.13 2:24pm
Backup Brian
Final speech as Man from Del Monte steps down.

MADJEZ 27.02.13 2:18pm
Budweiser responds to 'watered-down' claims: "It's supposed to taste like that&q 5
Idiot 27.02.13 2:12pm
Ikea suspendes wardrobe sales after test show traces of mahogony in chipboard. 0
Scronnyglonkle 27.02.13 1:49pm
Pope promises retirement party will be "biggest bash since the Borgias". 0
sydalg 27.02.13 1:08pm
Conversation dries up through lack of rain

The absence of rainfall over the past few days is having serious consequences for people who have come to rely on the frequency of rain as their primary or only talking point. Men's hairdressers are...

roybland 27.02.13 12:50pm
The Pope Plans To Spend Retirement On Allotment

In an emotional farewell before thousands of Roman Catholics at St Peter's Square in The Vatican, Pope Benedict XVI told the faithful that after his retirement from the Papacy he intends to live out...

Jonny Shlep 27.02.13 12:37pm
Jonny Shlep
Benedict evicted from The Big Fathers House

In a speech to waiting fans, Benedict bellowed the gig had been a blast, and regretted nothing, not even the wearing of Dorothy's shoes...

Erlang 27.02.13 12:34pm
Dignitas charter Titanic II for maiden voyage 0
antharrison 27.02.13 11:55am
Sarah Jessica Parker tests positive for horse

Only days after Sir Ian McKellen was found to contain traces of goat, the world of stage and screen has been shocked again by the news that ‘Sex and the City’ star Sarah Jessica Parker has been...

Stan 27.02.13 11:36am
John O'Farrell is only three miles away

But has he been out canvassing in your area..?...

Scroat 27.02.13 11:31am
Pope confirms 'One man and his dog' appearance to test his shepherding skills 0
Not Amused 27.02.13 11:29am
Not Amused
'Who'll put up the bunting' asks town

A town is wondering who'll put up the town's bunting, since the one whose job it is has become ill. Rowcob in Cheshire has enjoyed the bunting services of council employee Ted Greeth for many years....

Mik Bulk 27.02.13 10:25am
PETA furious at destruction of Papal Seal 0
MikeF 27.02.13 9:42am
Tony Blair not yet ready to buy a house in Iraq

Ex-Prime Minister Tony Blair says he is not yet ready to buy a house in Iraq. 'Life in Iraq is not what I hoped it would be when I invaded the place 10 years ago,' he told BBC Newsnight. ' I...

roybland 27.02.13 9:16am
'White is new black' fashion designer dies in tragic snow plough accident 0
shaggy 27.02.13 8:19am
All supermarkets to to be fitted with CSI-style DNA labs 0
sydalg 27.02.13 2:19am
"Well, just look at me! Do I look like some sweaty pervert?" says [insert name] 4
dvo4fun 27.02.13 1:46am
Psycadelic Squirrel
FDA Approves drug that helps you forget you have no sex life 0
Dumbnews 27.02.13 12:44am
Ryan Air to sell petrol at 20p a litre* ** (BYOP)

[size=3]Michael O'Leary, Ryan Air Chief Executive announced today that the low budget airline is move into the petrol retailing business with the purchase of several thousand outlets from troubled...

shaggy 26.02.13 10:40pm
Oscar Pistorius Trial Perfect Replacement For Law & Order

Fans, who had searched in vain for something to satisfy their crime lust after the New York Police and District Attorney fought their last case in 2010, now believe they have found a worthy successor...

Hooch 26.02.13 10:11pm
Hope fades for the ‘forgotten man’ of comedy politics...

John O’Farrell continues to pound the streets, in full clown costume and the big shoes, hoping to raise a smile - or at least avoid being punched - at every house in Eastleigh. Campaigning in a...

Tripod 26.02.13 9:30pm