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Spy in bag: coroner in camera 0
cinquecento 02.05.12 5:06pm
FA calls on press to report Roy Hodgson without cant or rancour 0
Mandy Lifeboat 02.05.12 5:02pm
Mandy Lifeboat
MI6 admit to teething troubles with their new "Bag For Life" 0
seymour totti 02.05.12 5:00pm
seymour totti
News International "A bunch of complete rankers" say British public. 0
andhrimnir 02.05.12 4:49pm
Whelk stall owners shun approach from Murdoch 0
nickb 02.05.12 3:49pm
Borders Agency asks illegal immigrants 'not to wear sports kit' during Olympics

The UK Borders Agency (UKBA) has given assurances that it is ‘completely ready’ to deal with the influx of foreigners during the Olympics as long as illegal immigrants agree not to wear sports...

The Paper Ostrich 03.05.12 6:03am
Lord Coe celebrates as Typhoo finally arrives at Olympic Offices

"With all the Olympiccy work we've been doing we deserve a cuppa" said Lord Coe this morning as the Olympic Tea Urn arrived. "I was right spitting feathers, I was" went on the former Tory MP and...

simonjmr 02.05.12 2:07pm
Worlds longest married couple only together for the sake of the kids

Jack and Winnie Sandford have been married since 1933, longer than anyone else on earth, but according to 98 year old Jack, it is a living hell. "Every morning I wake up and wish I was dead. Or...

A Wagonload Of Monkeys 03.05.12 3:55pm
News International Inquirey finds Cameron unfit to run country 0
Ian Searle 02.05.12 11:43am
Ian Searle
Queen on killing spree after one too many "brought the weather with you" comment

Royal Protection Officers stood helplessly by, unsure what to do, as the Monarch slaughtered loyal supporters including the elderly and infirm. Only Prince Phillip made any attempt to stop her...

Ian Searle 02.05.12 11:25am
Ian Searle
Foxes Live to be renamed Foxes Die Quite Often. 0
woodymellor 02.05.12 10:31am
BBC under fire following Snog, Marry, Avoid ‘Terminal Illness Special’

The BBC is again facing criticism following last night’s broadcast of a special edition of popular show ‘Snog, Marry, Avoid?’ dedicated to transforming the image of young people with less than...

kimllfixit 02.05.12 10:21am
Got Milk? UK sex industry seeks new advertising slogan.

Over recent years, the UK sex industry has seen a sharp decline in the number of men using its personal services. This is mainly put down to the tougher financial conditions along with easy access...

wallster 02.05.12 10:13am
MPs not fit to run a major country, finds Murdoch 0
cinquecento 02.05.12 9:35am
Levenson, "Murdoch not fit to lick piss off Nettles" 0
Scronnyglonkle 02.05.12 9:33am
MI6 inquest verdict to be delivered 'in sacculo'

.., .., .., Caecilius est in horto...

cinquecento 02.05.12 9:32am
Taliban tribute band mark Bin Laden anniversary by playing "Under the Sea" 0
Scronnyglonkle 02.05.12 9:11am
A year on American still awaits REAL good excuse from Pakistan over Bin Laden. 0
MADJEZ 02.05.12 8:57am
Murdoch the perfect man to run a company report Sun, Times & Sky.

More unbiased news soon...

MADJEZ 02.05.12 8:54am
Vertically Challenged Giant
"No More Fancy Dinners And Loose Talk With Celebrities For Me," Says Cameron....

.."I'm off to t'pub...

Jesse Bigg 02.05.12 8:49am
Jesse Bigg
Public find a group of MPs unfit to run the country

As the Leveson inquiry continues, a shock announcement finds that a group of 650 MPs are unfit to run a modern country...

Captainzep 02.05.12 8:46am
Hodgson appointment sparks Rooney, Richards, Rio team-talk fears

Never mind Terry, Gerrard, Barry and post-match interviews with Gary Linekar and Harry Redknapp...

pitflaps 02.05.12 3:55pm
Greek transplant hospital to make extra cash by selling heart-and-lung donners 1
Sinnick 02.05.12 3:50pm
Olympic Cycle Teams, Racing Round Central London......

.Winner to be on a "Last Man Standing" basis...

Jesse Bigg 02.05.12 7:55am
Jesse Bigg
Passengers Landing At Heathrow To Be Bussed To Newcastle.....

.For speedy processing...

Jesse Bigg 02.05.12 9:53am
Re-Enactment Of Noah's Ark Voyage To Take Place.....

.Only in north UK. "Chuffing rain, I'm going rusty!"...

Jesse Bigg 02.05.12 9:38am
Man fitted with Wurlitzer in bungled organ transplant

Concerns around medical standards were raised again after Penge man Ron Hammond came around from a routine heart transplant operation to find to his horror that instead of an brand new heart, he had...

Gong of Fur 02.05.12 10:47pm
Redknapp failed to secure England job due to lack of IT skills. 0
wallster 02.05.12 7:13am
Tory MP's Favourite Colour..........

.NI whitewash. A chummy colour, eh?...

Jesse Bigg 02.05.12 7:10am
Jesse Bigg
Post-Graduate Studies Results Show Yogi Now Smarter Than Upper Quartile Of Bears 0
Textbook 02.05.12 12:03am