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Arial Black wrongly named Arial Narrow: Vicar used the wrong font.

Hat tip to Bertrand...

3
weematt 05.06.13 2:06pm
Titus
Michael Douglas misquoted; actually said, "I've got my cancer licked."

Must have been done before, surely?...

1
FOAD 05.06.13 2:02pm
Titus
Ryanair Delivers 'Surcharge with a Smile' Initiative

The age-old saying ‘manners cost nothing,’ now seem to be a thing of the past as Ryanair has introduced a surcharge for courtesy. Mark Pye, Public Relations Executive said. “In today’s fast...

2
brianflan 05.06.13 1:59pm
John Wiltshire
Motorways jammed as on-the-spot fines begin

Motorways all over the UK were jammed solid today as the new policy of on-the-spot fines for middle-lane hoggers and tailgaters was implemented. The Chief Constable of Surrey, Sir Peter Harris,...

0
John Wiltshire 05.06.13 1:02pm
John Wiltshire
Cameron to dispel fears of Med jellyfish plague with "Hug a jellyfish" campaign 0
Smart Alex 05.06.13 12:36pm
Smart Alex
New Pope’s humility ‘getting on everyone’s tits’ admit cardinals

Newly-enthroned Pope Francis is allegedly ‘pissing everybody off big time’ with his ‘low key, unostentatious manner and general Christlike humility of spirit’, according to Vatican insiders....

22
Skylarking 05.06.13 12:14pm
Skylarking
Arial Black breaks up with Lucida Bright - "she just wasn't my type" 0
Bertrand Twisted 05.06.13 10:06am
Bertrand Twisted
France sends 200 tons bearnaise sauce to tournedos disaster zone 2
cinquecento 05.06.13 9:50am
Lindy Moone
Reliable offshore data security company for expert password protection service

For completely free trial with whole moneyback guarantee, simply to be sending your bank account password in the strictest confidence to Mister Arthur (Barrister) email arthur@419.ng...

0
Arthur 05.06.13 6:29am
Arthur
New Dr. Oz show discusses how to rid yourself of Dr. Oz 1
Dumbnews 05.06.13 6:28am
Lindy Moone
Decorating the Bank Of England was 'an inside job'

more emulsion-related shenanigans soon..ish...

0
brianflan 04.06.13 11:56pm
brianflan
‘Large Hadron Collider a scam’ says 3 armed scientist

In a final 15-fingered salute to unethical research, a recently sacked scientist has blown open the secrets of CERN. As the budget for The Large Hadron Collidor at the European Organization for...

2
brianflan 04.06.13 11:54pm
brianflan
Pfizer CEO admits self-raising flour is main ingredient of Viagra 0
sydalg 04.06.13 11:42pm
sydalg
Rev Fred Phelps outraged at discovering he's a member of Homo sapiens 0
sydalg 04.06.13 11:38pm
sydalg
Bradley Manning becomes the face of Adult Diapers

Shortly before going on trial, Private Manning announced a new sponsorship deal with Tranquillity Incontinence Products. While others have characterized the US soldier's leaks as a threat to national...

2
Wrenfoe 04.06.13 11:28pm
brianflan
Secret UKIP plans to decimate the metric system revealed

Previously unreleased plans left on a beer-mat in a pub where Nigel Farage had been drinking have unveiled the UKIP’s plans to reinvigorate and restore the UK’s traditional Imperial measurement...

15
bonjonelson 04.06.13 11:24pm
brianflan
Sweatshops to be modelled on Candy Crush

Labour Unions have expressed outrage at recent proposals to model work environments on the popular Game-App. What was originally assumed to be an unfortunate spelling error for a range of...

1
Wrenfoe 04.06.13 11:20pm
brianflan
Clegg Urges Speed With Gay Divorce Bill

For reasons best known to himself...

0
colophon 04.06.13 9:17pm
colophon
Island Changes Name to 'His Heart is Like Ice, Our Heads Crack Like Watermelons'

(Warning! This article has not been approved by the government of '[url=http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61637]Your Hand is Like Ice, Your Ass is Like a Watermelon[/url]'.) Surprise! This...

6
Lindy Moone 04.06.13 9:13pm
Tristan Shout
Angling club funds stolen by password phisher

Treasurer admits that he rose to the bait [i][Dictated by Arthur and posted in his absence][/i]...

1
Arthur 04.06.13 7:31pm
FOAD
Experts concerned magnetic levitation trains project 'won't fly' 0
custard cream 04.06.13 3:37pm
custard cream
Royal non-emergency service launched: one, one, one

This will replace the German-run emergency service: nein, nein, nein...

0
John Wiltshire 04.06.13 2:34pm
John Wiltshire
Bankrupt dating site admits banner ads for Rohypnol a mistake 0
sydalg 04.06.13 2:22pm
sydalg
Junior minister fired for answering the actual question he was asked by Jon Snow

.no chance...

0
Bertrand Twisted 04.06.13 1:54pm
Bertrand Twisted
Nick and Dave "tried to lure us into a threesome" says Labour

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2335592/Tory-MP-wife-accused-groping-lesbian-housekeeper-asked-threesome.html...

0
sydalg 04.06.13 1:52pm
sydalg
Michael Douglas regrets not following ex-wife's advice to "kiss my ass" 0
Bertrand Twisted 04.06.13 1:48pm
Bertrand Twisted
New sponsorship deal means Womens Ashes clash to be renamed the Bodyform Series 0
Scronnyglonkle 04.06.13 1:38pm
Scronnyglonkle
ITV in "Bad Language" row

ITV have today been censured by Ofcom following a TV programme which featured a string of expletives from Prince Charles. It was during a walkabout at the Chelsea Flower Show when the Prince was...

0
Rootin Tootin 04.06.13 12:02pm
Rootin Tootin
Binge-eating pensioner admits it all started when she swallowed a fly

The old lady whose eating spree included several large animals has warned how such binges can start innocuously. “When I had my fly snack I thought nothing of it”, she said. “But then, I...

4
sydalg 04.06.13 12:00pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
North Ikea football star Roo Ni Wayan may quit over gnome unrest.

Manchester based football star Roo Ni Wayan is reported to be considering handing in a transfer request. In a tweet he has expressed his fear for his family over the North/South Ikea gnome...

0
weematt 04.06.13 11:46am
weematt