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Clinton Cards to launch new "Sorry you've gone into administration" range 3
Nails UK 10.05.12 10:50am
May kills two Kurds with one stone as refugees employed as border agency staff

Embattled Home Secretary Theresa May announced that she has simultaneously solved the problems of refugees on welfare, and the airport immigration queue fiasco, with a new scheme which will see...

Yikes 07.05.12 12:34pm
Disappointment as France elects a Frenchman for President, yet again. 0
Al OPecia 07.05.12 10:44am
Al OPecia
Britain no longer leads the world at house price obsession, warns estate agent

Briton's are losing the ability to impress people at dinner parties with their property knowledge, warns a shocking new report by the Association of Estate Agents. It could see us falling behind our...

ronseal 07.05.12 5:32pm
Drogba contract signing delayed as he is stretchered off after paper cut 0
seymour totti 07.05.12 8:44am
seymour totti
Winter Olympics brought forward to July 0
nickb 07.05.12 8:38am
Chinese company buys Tate and Lyle, Dairy Crest 0
nickb 07.05.12 8:32am
Half crown courts closed for Olympics. Pound shops, penny arcades remain open. 0
weematt 07.05.12 8:02am
World’s most fickle football fan poised to celebrate another title

Manchester man Jeremy Clode moved across town, bought a Manchester City shirt, hat, and scarf, and learnt the words to "Blue Moon", in anticipation of this weekend’s exciting conclusion to the...

Yikes 08.05.12 2:17pm
Sarkozy denies lack of tact cost him election

"It was the idiot French electorate that caused the trouble."...

apepper 07.05.12 5:28am
Scottish FA allows Greece to write off all debts while remaining in Eurozone.

"Europe needs a stronge Greece!" says Kneel Doncaster...

Jammydodgers 07.05.12 12:17am
Bowel specialist's romance began on Faecesbook 3
Underconstruction 09.05.12 12:27am
Nazi masterplan for Europe 'could have been communicated better', admits Goebbel

Hitler's second-in-command, propaganda minister Joseph Goebbels, admitted yesterday he could have 'done a better of explaining the Reich's position to the ordinary people', after a Europe-wide...

NewSuburbanDad 08.05.12 10:00am
Didn't realise header was limited 0
NewSuburbanDad 06.05.12 8:36pm
Virgo urged to explain "Such a delicate little pink, Willie," snooker commentary 0
Haywood Manley 06.05.12 8:23pm
Haywood Manley
Francois Hollande pledges to take young mistress 'within days'

Incoming French President, Francois Hollande, has pledged to take a secret young mistress within days of gaining power. Speaking as he made his way to 'Bubbles Spa and Jacuzzi' on the Champs Elysees...

Mandy Lifeboat 13.01.14 7:10pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Winner of British Castration Final given Match Ball 3
seymour totti 08.05.12 7:02am
Cowell predicts Britain's Got Talent will be won by a dogging act. 0
MADJEZ 06.05.12 8:13pm
Greek Turkeys refuse to vote for Christmas 0
Mandy Lifeboat 06.05.12 7:53pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Ann Summers recall Rampant Rabbits following 'outbreak of myxomatosis'

Ann Summers have been forced to recall thousands of Rampant Rabbits following an outbreak of myxomatosis. This comes just weeks after the disease forced the quarantine of a Playboy Bunny. ‘We...

Perks 07.05.12 6:38pm
Sir Alex Ferguson concedes title and will now simply be known as Alec 0
Underconstruction 06.05.12 7:32pm
Hollande and Barratt to launch healthy blancmange range 0
Underconstruction 06.05.12 7:25pm
Headteacher's oppose new punctuation and spelling test's. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 06.05.12 7:12pm
Francois Hollande anounces engagement to Jerry Hall. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 06.05.12 7:00pm
Hollande to be president of France, Belgiume to run Germany.

More soone...

MADJEZ 07.05.12 8:41am
Rock in landmark victory on novel format TV show

A large rock has been declared cliff-top Inanimate Object of the Year, winning 80 % of the public vote. Channel 5's IOOTY show pulled a record 96.5 viewers for its final show, of which only 7 were...

kga6 06.05.12 6:43pm
George Osborne in Parkinson's Scare

A Treasury spokesman has moved to scotch health rumours about the Chancellor, George Osbourne following his appearance on The Andrew Marr show this morning. Osbourne was seen to nod and shake...

Terrance Clench 06.05.12 11:23am
Terrance Clench
Cameron under pressure to appoint Minister for Queuing

PM David Cameron is said to be on the verge of appointing a 'queue tsar' to monitor and control queueing across Britain., Having studied 'The German model' which adopts a 'survival of the fittest'...

Underconstruction 06.05.12 11:13am
EMI to re-release '20 Queuing for stand-pipe classics'

Featuring The Water Boys, Gene Kelly and Gerry (Can) and the Pacemakers...

Underconstruction 07.05.12 1:10am
Japanese man wins local erection 3
Underconstruction 06.05.12 5:47pm