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Essex fly-over unveiled as training location for Olympic shot-putters 1
hansens-scar 3 years

Sebastian Coe has hailed the preparations for next year's Olympics to be a great success after several "yoof" were seen throwing concrete blocks from motorway fly-overs. "We said we were going to...

Ofsted declare "Satisfactory" schools to be "Unsatisfactory" 1
hansens-scar 3 years

New head of Ofsted, Sir Michael Willishaw, has declared war on "coasting" schools by stating that Satisfactory is not satisfactory. In a similar twist of linguistic logic he has also ruled that...

' contemporary art goes missing' 1
artistnealehowells 3 years

'you could have swore it was there when i left, this was the statement that night watchman derek earthenware told police when there was a reported art theft at the tate modern last night, 'how on...

Security fears for MOD after list of their Secret Santas found left on a train 0
Ian Searle 3 years
EU downgrade turkey and chestnuts in an attempt to boost Brussels 0
apepper 3 years

Traditional Christmas dinner is under attack from the EU. They want turkey and the trimmings to be largely replaced by brussel sprouts...

Panda's 'very well' but hungover after first night in Edinburgh. 0
simonjmr 3 years
Kangaroo’s testicle wins I’m a Celebrity 0
Ian Searle 3 years

Viewers were left stunned when one of the meals from the Bush Tucker trials was voted 'King of the Jungle'...

BNP incensed as UK Border strikes fail to stop Chinese immigrants to Scotland 0
Ian Searle 3 years
NHS give go ahead to sharing patient records with Dr Frankenstien 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Carol Thatcher to play Meryl Streep in star biopic 1
nickb 3 years
Man dies trying to free new scissors from plastic packaging, without scissors. 2
Al OPecia 3 years
Sex Offending Still Dominated By Men 2
Textbook 3 years

Women's Equality Groups around the world were dismayed yesterday by the release of new statistical information which reveals that only 4% of sex crimes are committed by women. Despite it being an...

Man finally invents the 'Leg Jumper' 3
kga6 3 years

The jumper, sweater, guernsey or pullover has existed as long as modern history can remember. A thicker, secondary layer, worn over a shirt, or shirt and vest, it delivers an extra layer of...

Police brought riots on themselves by dressing provocatively 0
Ian Searle 3 years

They were gagging for it claims witness...

Gene identified that causes you to keep replaying your new favorite song 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Conspiracy theorists claim everything on snopes is a hoax 3
Dumbnews 3 years
Clarkson apologises - "I have no problem with striking public servants" 2
Username 3 years
Viewers reluctantly accept new digital ‘BBC Sorry’ channel 9
3 years

The BBC has announced plans for a new digital channel, specifically designed to apologise for all of the popular monopoly’s output. BBC Sorry will be available in the new year, its launch timed to...

Panda mistakenly eats Bamboo planted to off-set China flight. 2
Milo Shame 3 years
Woman quits job as mobile hairdresser after consistently poor reception 0
dicky37 3 years

[More soon]...

Scotland prepares for panda arrival; deep fried bamboo waiting 3
apepper 3 years

More to follow...

EC ruling on ancient grazing rights sees dairy farming return to Hyde Park 9
3 years

Ancient grazing rights are to be respected in Britain's capital city, following a landmark decision by the European Court of Justice. George Humbert took the matter to Europe after finding a legal...

BBC send Jeremy Clarkson to Gobi desert 0
apepper 3 years

The BBC have sent Jeremy Clarkson to the Gobi Desert; a spokesman explained, "it's not for a programme, it just seemed a good idea."...

Jason Plato mourns loss of mentor. 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

Mr Onassis unavailable for comment...

Oxford Street closed to poor to help avoid 'crushing debt' 1
Perks 3 years

Oxford Street in Central London was closed to the poor yesterday amid fears of crushing debt. Further such closures may now be in place every weekend in the run up to Christmas. 'We have spent 11...

BBC forced to deny Clarkson ITV transfer rumours. 1
SingingHinny 3 years

The Director-General of the BBC, Mark Thompson, has denied newspaper reports that Jeremy Clarkson, the BBC’s highly-paid right-wing wrecking ball, has submitted a transfer request following...

Siri fails to find the best little whorehouse in Texas 2
Ostsee 3 years
Despite multi-tasking claims, wife still can't do headache & sex at same time 1
Smart Alex 3 years
New Canary Island created by volcano already covered in beach towels. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Macc Lads to replace Elbow as suppliers of Olympic theme tune 1
grottymonty 3 years

Bury rockers and salad dodgers Elbow are set to be replaced by the Macc Lads as the official suppliers of an Olympic theme tune for the BBC...