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MP's to be forced to attend parliament five days a week to stop second jobs

or third, or fourth...

Ian Searle 01.10.13 1:13pm
Mail discovers ‘rock bottom’!

In a move that has surprised geologists, The Daily Mail has finally unearthed the nadir of political journalism. Having rigorously mined the depths of inaccuracy, the tabloid was said to be delighted...

Wrenfoe 01.10.13 1:03pm
Parrots For The Dumb sponsored squawk raises £750 0
pere floza 01.10.13 12:57pm
pere floza
The man 'who hated the Daily Mail' says he's just an ordinary decent guy

A man attacked by the Daily Mail as 'the man who hated the Daily Mail' says he's just an ordinary guy. But in an editorial the Mail refused to withdraw its charge that the man had left 'a legacy of...

roybland 01.10.13 11:59am
To avoid overcrowding, next years' World Agoraphobics Forum to be held in Iowa 0
AReader 01.10.13 11:48am
Been done. 2
Ian Searle 01.10.13 11:46am
Vicious rumour accused of murdering two Chinese whispers in 'slander' pub brawl

A vicious rumour has been charged with two counts of murder after a fight in the Grape Vine pub on the outskirts of Lye ended with the death of two Chinese whispers. The Chinese whispers had...

jimiedge 01.10.13 11:23am
Scientists develop replacement set of testicles on Nick Clegg’s forehead

Surgeons have grown a fully functional set of gonads on Nick Clegg’s forehead to replace the pair lost when he entered a coalition with the Tories, according to reports. The pioneering procedure...

Gary Stanton 01.10.13 11:06am
Midfield Diamond
Teenager deplores state of the world run by grown ups

“Never mind global warming, we’re the generation that has to explain 1D to our kids.”...

rogerg 01.10.13 11:02am
Iranian centrifuge maker closes down, admits to using ‘spin’ 0
rogerg 01.10.13 11:01am
Ed Milliband's Dad slandered by Gynaecologist in 'Papa' smear 0
thackaray 01.10.13 10:37am
Unsliced bread "the best thing since sliced bread" claim traditionalists 4
CulchaVulcha 01.10.13 10:32am
Danny Dyer to take over Old Vic

More later...

virtuallywill 01.10.13 10:27am
Self-abuse almost killed me, reveals Edward Scissorhands 0
sydalg 01.10.13 10:01am
USA ‘broken’: Obama advised to ‘switch it off and switch it back on again’... 0
Tripod 01.10.13 9:28am
Microsoft Sat Nav Fails Users of A404

Drivers who snapped up the beta version of a new Microsoft foray into the Satellite Navigation market have been left furious, and lost somewhere between Paddington in London and Maidenhead., John...

Flugelbinder 01.10.13 9:21am
Unemployed demand MPs work for their taxpayer funded money

Unemployed people up and down the country have demanded Members of Parliament start working for their money. Their initiative comes as another party's MPs gather for a four day jolly whilst being...

Lens Cap 01.10.13 9:18am
The All New Jeni B
Danny Dyer returns to the Mother Ship

At 17:00hrs GMT the alien known as ‘Danny Dyer’ responded to a homing beacon sent from Elstree Studios, having completed his solo mission to destroy the British Film Industry. In keeping with his...

Wrenfoe 01.10.13 8:54am
Husband falls in love with his wife the moment she divorces him

'Love at last sight' is not a phrase we hear often, but it's one Milton Shales says has been banging around his head for months. He has come forward recently to talk of the utterly heartrending...

TobiasBV 01.10.13 8:50am
Man ejected from gallery for asking if they have any pictures by Rolf Harris 0
medici2471 01.10.13 8:47am
US Shutdown latest ... "Please do not power off installing updates"

Reboot soon...

Kramaring 01.10.13 7:57am
Danny Dyer's career goes into reverse as he does Hollyoaks before Eastenders 0
simonjmr 01.10.13 7:56am
Agricultural Advisors’ strike could cripple The Archers.

A strike by agricultural advisers has led to a mountain of unapproved scripts in the offices and corridors of the Radio 4 flagship drama ‘The Archers’. But Arthur Heffer, BBC agricultural...

Boutros 01.10.13 7:40am
Foo finally defeated by Foo Fighters 0
nickb 01.10.13 6:26am
Mueller launch Mandy Rice Davies special

Well they would, wouldn't they?...

nickb 01.10.13 6:10am
Lack of evidence is proof of conspiracy, claims downtrodden civilian

A down-on-his-luck man from Leeds has spoken out recently about the conspiracy theory he believes has been sabotaging him for years. He says that an international plot against him is the reason for...

TobiasBV 30.09.13 11:59pm
US citizens fearful that government shutdown will be averted. 0
Sir Lupus 30.09.13 10:17pm
Sir Lupus
God admits prayers may be recorded for training purposes

Deity, Almighty God, has confirmed suspicions that all prayers are being recorded for "training purposes". Mr God explained, "We have had staff issues which we're trying to resolve and I'm hoping to...

apepper 30.09.13 9:43pm
Cecil Parkinson musical opens to acclaim.

It's one of the most famous poses in portrait photography.  The sitter, naked astride a back to front chair engages the camera with an enigmatic eye.  The chair, of course, hides the genitals of...

nickb 30.09.13 9:29pm
Dr Who to "have a quiet word" with Philip Hammond over creation of Cyber Men. 1
Al OPecia 30.09.13 9:22pm
custard cream