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Glasgow crash victim survived by eating raw Mars bars. More soon. 11
deskpilot3 02.12.13 6:27pm
Police to investigate the point of Peaches Geldof

After sending a tweet naming two women involved in a child sex abuse case that may possibly give away the identities of the victims, police have decided to investigate the existence of Peaches Geldof...

James Pluside 02.12.13 3:12pm
Female interest in Tom Daley takes a nosedive 0
custard cream 02.12.13 2:36pm
custard cream
Tom Daley reveals that he has a new TV show coming out 0
medici2471 02.12.13 2:22pm
Amazon and NSA admit Drone mixup - Taliban HQ receives Hairy Bikers cookbook

Family in Woking nuked., More at 1...

blokefromstoke 02.12.13 1:55pm
custard cream
Dismay As Voters Belatedly Discover That Green Crap Actually Costs Money 1
Titus 02.12.13 1:54pm
custard cream
Amazon drone copters to 'take out uneconomic traffic'

Online shopping giant Amazon has announced that their new drone delivery helicopters will be equipped with sophisticated weaponry to 'deal with' customers who take too long browsing on their website...

custard cream 02.12.13 1:52pm
custard cream
Black Friday dry run for Zombie Apocalypse

Consumers across the world were given the opportunity to hone their survival skills, as branches of Wal-Mart simulated the collapse of civilisation. Mindless, reanimated corpses hungry for discounted...

Wrenfoe 02.12.13 1:50pm
Polish tribute act to David Blaine ends in tragedy

"We wondered where he went", says Pavel Pavelski, president of the Polish David Blaine Tribute Club, speaking in Wrozclaw, Poland...

Beer Sampler 02.12.13 1:13pm
Beer Sampler
Police to investigate claims of coordinated incyber trading on Monday

no more soon. I am thinking of adopting "Bad pun badly done" as my slogan...

Not Amused 02.12.13 12:49pm
Not Amused
‘Squashed Satsuma and Some Walnuts’ is This Year’s Top Christmas Must-Have

Eager shoppers are setting up camp outside greengrocers along the length and breadth of the country today in order to be first in the queue for the release of this year’s must-have Christmas gift:...

jp1885 02.12.13 12:26pm
Sealed Knot Society to reenact historic sex offences 1
pere floza 02.12.13 12:21pm
Gucci to launch range of designer vaginas 3
cinquecento 02.12.13 12:20pm
West Country celebrates cider monday 3
jp1885 02.12.13 12:18pm
Midfield Diamond
‘Vagina kleine nachtmusik’ – Mozart themed porn hits shelves 7
TobiasBV 02.12.13 12:07pm
As little as ten pints of beer a day can lead to man boobs says shock report

A shocking report has outlined the hidden link between obesity and beer. It's thought that as few a ten pints a day can have a terrible effect. MORE LATER...

ronseal 02.12.13 12:07pm
Households to save £50 in energy costs with a free 'vote Tory' jumper

The average household could save up to £50 a year in heating costs as the Tory-led coalition promises to put their hand in their pockets and provide everyone with thick, warm and blue vote...

James Pluside 02.12.13 11:53am
James Pluside
Man nobody's heard of says stress of fame ‘unbearable’.

The man, known best as ‘that bloke who was on that reality thing for a bit’ spoke out today about the pressure of being suddenly catapulted into less obscurity., “It’s really hard, and no...

Jla 02.12.13 11:50am
Tom Daly Catalyst for Day of Comings Out

Olympic Diver Tom Daly’s admission today that he’s in a relationship with another man, along with the subsequent positive media attention, appears to have started a cavalcade of celebrities...

james_doc 02.12.13 11:38am
Tom Daley retires from muff diving 0
Lens Cap 02.12.13 11:27am
Lens Cap
Scoutmaster looking up TV guide on internet arrested by police. 3
FOAD 02.12.13 11:12am
Dick Everyman
Scots reclassify unbattered Mars bars as ‘one of their five-a-day’... 0
Tripod 02.12.13 10:59am
Osborne: Boris wrong - people with low IQ do make it to top.

We [s]are[/s] have proof...

FOAD 02.12.13 9:58am
Mr Blobby confirmed as new Co-Op Chief Executive Mottled 1990s variety performer Mr Blobby was confirmed last night as the new Chief Executive of the ailing Co-Operative Bank. ...

Peter749400 02.12.13 9:50am
Jesus H
"Saving Mr Flowers" tipped for Oscars.

Story of stuffy banker who discovers magic powder that transforms him into fun-loving party animal hotly favoured for 2014 academy awards., More fiscally prudent items at 1...

blokefromstoke 02.12.13 2:37am
Cameron to visit China - Political Prisoners to be disguised as installation art

Enjoyed this item? Feel like another ?, More at 1...

blokefromstoke 02.12.13 2:24am
Massive Handbag in Red Square - Putin preparing nation for his coming out?

Other items removed include 90 sq foot Madonna CD, 15 story scented candle., More fabulousness at 1...

blokefromstoke 02.12.13 2:14am
NSA to expose online porn use - after another 5 mins on

More huge items at 1...

blokefromstoke 02.12.13 2:05am
Uk to cut energy bills by turning off all radiators

Entire population to move into small back bedroom in Slough and stay under massive duvet until March., Pot noodle and Warm Socks at 1...

blokefromstoke 02.12.13 1:49am
Chinese moon rocket 'modifed firecracker' says NASA. 0
Boutros 02.12.13 12:52am