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Rolling Stones to pay creditors with Jaggerbonds 0
Smart Alex 29.04.13 6:56pm
Smart Alex
Primark to sell home sewing kits

with free life assurance...

PR Consultant 29.04.13 6:17pm
PR Consultant
Green Party accused of trying too woo BNP supporters in local elections

In an interview on Radio 4’s today programme Sally Hornby the Green Parties Communication Director denied that a new document out lining their manifesto for the upcoming local election was designed...

Scronnyglonkle 29.04.13 6:13pm
Zoologists hail birth of yello, blu and purpl-utans 1
allmyownstunts 29.04.13 6:04pm
Pigeon of Wisdom
HSBC release long-term savings plan for sex-workers.

HSBC, the giant international banking corporation, has today announced it's new savings plan for porn stars, hookers and pimps. The 'vaga-bond' © pays 2.1% interest for the first year. A spokesman...

sigmund 29.04.13 6:03pm
Deal or No Deal winner avoids jail after picking Community Service Box in court. 0
MADJEZ 29.04.13 5:13pm
Show of support as Reginald D Hunter booked for Prince Philip's birthday. 0
MADJEZ 29.04.13 5:06pm
Vagabonds and vagrants unite against spare cardboard box tax 2
Dick Everyman 29.04.13 4:22pm
Dick Everyman
Woman handcuffs tramp to bed and indulges in vagabondage. 4
Al OPecia 29.04.13 3:41pm
Al OPecia
IDS asks for Deal or No Deal winners to return some of their winnings to HMRC

'Obviously, we'd let them keep the first £8000 of any winnings' explains the not-chancellor, 'we'd just like them to consider giving the government 20% of anything above that, and of course 40% of...

NewBiscuit 29.04.13 3:39pm
Mail protests at plan to pay for Arab depression sufferer’s trip to Disneyland

We should not fundamental muslim says headline...

blacklesbianandproudofit 29.04.13 3:20pm
Bodies in swimming pool found to contain 29% Barrymore

Old Joke, let me introduce you to Even Older Joke...

NewBiscuit 29.04.13 3:19pm
Clarkson to broadcast 'groundbreaking' new TV channel

UKTV have announce a new channel will launch this month – Clarkson TV – a channel curated by TV car driver Jeremy Clarkson. Among repeats of Top Gear there will be original TV shows such as:...

McKenzie 29.04.13 3:10pm
"None of the above" set for landslide victory

According to latest polls, the "None of the above" party are going to steal a march on the major political parties in the council elections this week., A poll of polls indicates that nearly half the...

NewBiscuit 29.04.13 3:09pm
Milliband Deliberately Gives Hopeless Interviews To Lull Tories Into Complacency 0
Titus 29.04.13 3:08pm
Extraterrestrials highly critical of new Universal credit payment system. 0
sredni vashta 29.04.13 2:10pm
sredni vashta
Gazza psychiatrist says teeth are 'all in his head' 0
McKenzie 29.04.13 1:42pm
Clowns hit back angrily at comparison to UKIP.

A spokesman for clowns said, " It should be noted that clowns have recently celebrated several successes in politics, notably in Italy and the election of Boris as Mayor of London." He continued,...

Ian Searle 29.04.13 1:27pm
Ian Searle
Nick Clegg's promises could be converted into biofuel, claim scientists 0
sydalg 29.04.13 1:25pm
Scandal as Amish man admits his buggy has power steering 0
sydalg 29.04.13 1:24pm
Sleepy English villages to be placed on back-to-work programme. 0
sredni vashta 29.04.13 1:02pm
sredni vashta
UK ‘thrown into confusion’ as elections approach

The UK was today thrown into a confused slanging match today as local elections loomed. ‘Top’, old, saggy jawed, politicians appeared on tv and used words like ‘clowns’, ‘fruitcakes’,...

Reg Herring 29.04.13 12:36pm
Reg Herring
Over 140 sheep come forward in Welsh valleys sex abuse scandal. More soon 1
JoeBradley 29.04.13 12:36pm
‘Embarrassing Bodies – Greek Mythology Special’ a huge success, says Channel 4

Channel 4 has declared the fifth series of ‘Embarrassing Bodies’ a ratings triumph. This focused entirely on Greek mythology and has entranced viewers with heart-warming true legends that viewers...

Oxbridge 29.04.13 12:21pm
Paddy Berzinski
Ashton-under-Lyne citizens subjected to universal Income Decimating System probe

A massive shake-up in benefit systems has been launched in Greater Manchester, with the first claims being made for a new universal credit payment known as IDS or the Income Decimating System. Over...

Dick Everyman 29.04.13 12:04pm
Paddy Berzinski
Future Children's TV Presenters To Be Vetted. Suitable Vet Already Hired. 0
Titus 29.04.13 11:22am
New financial institution founded to lend to tramps - the Vagabundesbank 0
sydalg 29.04.13 11:00am
Ian Duncan Smith gives back benefits given back by rich pensioners

"Everybody's got the wrong end of the stick," Work and Pensioners Secretary Ian Duncan Smith told reporters this morning. "On the subject of sticks, for example, if you can afford your own stick and...

nickb 29.04.13 10:41am
Iain Duncan Smith defends the consolidation of names for benefit claimants

Today marks the start of the government’s scheme to consolidate the benefits of double barrelled names into a universal single barrelled name for those on benefits. Initially affecting new...

Not Amused 29.04.13 10:18am
Not Amused
Pensioners Urged To Hand Over Their Heating Allowance Direct To RBS Bosses

"Cut out the middle-man", rather than take Ian Duncan-Smith's advice just to hand it back to the government...

Titus 29.04.13 10:01am