Topic — Add New » Comments Votes Author Last Comment
Bad Weather in South : Nation in Peril

In other news: nuclear meltdown, plague, dalek invasion - all in North of England and therefore not particularly newsworthy...

5
deceangli 28.10.13 7:57am
Kevin the Swan
South East England storms. Panic buying as Waitrose out of cous-cous & shallots.

Food hoarding in the South of England has led to a run on essentials like olive oil and organic asparagus. Home counties housewives recall stories told by their mothers of the 1987 storm where...

5
MADJEZ 28.10.13 7:39am
Squudge
Lou Reed discovers walk on the wild side not always the way to end a perfect day 1
irreverendJ 28.10.13 7:34am
Wrenfoe
Murdoch to Buy NSA

"They're much more efficient than the drongos we used at the News of the World", Rupert Murdoch told some real journalists. "We couldn't get close to Angela Merkel. Do you think they could tap the...

1
deceangli 28.10.13 7:33am
Wrenfoe
Horror as David Beckham involved in LA car crash.

French claim it should be 'LE car crash'...

0
MADJEZ 28.10.13 12:23am
MADJEZ
Nuclear Power Worker Killed On Holiday By Flying Wind Turbine 1
Titus 27.10.13 11:43pm
Titus
Bollocks

Withdrawn- link broken...

0
Psycadelic Squirrel 27.10.13 11:07pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
Ticker removed for legal reasons. 0
Al OPecia 27.10.13 10:52pm
Al OPecia
Met Office issues a Severe "Roofers on the Fiddle" Warning. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 27.10.13 10:40pm
Al OPecia
Darwin awards Judges "on emergency stand-by". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 27.10.13 10:39pm
Al OPecia
Storm fails to generate gales of laughter.

"Damn you Met Office" said one over-prepared comedy writer, " we've just had too much time to think on this one. With the whole of winter still to come let's hope the UK is brought to a standstill...

0
vulture1 27.10.13 10:10pm
vulture1
Why Britain doesn't get hurricanes - Explained

The met office have been encouraged to issue a statement today after an influx of queries related to the definition of hurricanes, and why the UK never seems to admit to one. Media sources have cited...

12
Squudge 27.10.13 9:04pm
The All New Jeni B
Formula for calculating persons BMI revealed as (Pie-Arse-Chaired). 0
MADJEZ 27.10.13 8:17pm
MADJEZ
Storm in a tea cup leaves China devastated 0
irreverendJ 27.10.13 8:00pm
irreverendJ
Met office denies giving Paul McCartney excuse to sing that bloody song again... 2
Nowherefast 27.10.13 7:12pm
Nowherefast
Homeopathy wins ‘comedy catalyst’ award...

Homeopathy has won a prestigious new award, for inspiring a generation of lazy comedians. The ineffectual ‘therapy’ beat off a strong challenge from other easy comedy targets, including Sting,...

5
Tripod 27.10.13 6:59pm
A.A.Arkwright
Met Office issues amber bad hair day warning 0
Ian 27.10.13 6:42pm
Ian
Justin Welby abandons prayers for St Jude's storm as "lost cause"

More later...

0
Coco 27.10.13 5:40pm
Coco
Lou Reed mourned by only man to buy Velvet’s first LP and not start a band... 0
Tripod 27.10.13 5:38pm
Tripod
St Jude's storm reported to be suffering performance anxiety. 2
Squudge 27.10.13 4:39pm
Squudge
CERN scientists inadvertently discover 'unexpectium' - the element of surprise

Probably been done elsewhere but what the hey...

7
Idiot 27.10.13 4:23pm
Maverick
Landslide Victory for Michael Gove in Great British Fuck Off Phone Vote

The British Public have a new champion tonight. Michael scored highly in the signature round where he signed his name with a pleasingly pseudo-Latin sobriquet. Tensions rose in the technical...

3
areileen 27.10.13 2:53pm
areileen
Mastermind Chair's Footstool also arrested on pedophilia charges. More soon.

Thanks to the Swan...

5
Al OPecia 27.10.13 2:34pm
Squudge
Late inventor of doner kebab to receive "unique" cremation in tribute. 1
Andrew Alexander 27.10.13 1:32pm
Ref Minor
Hurricanes 'Not Expected' in Hertford, Hereford, and Hampshire says Prof Higgins 2
deceangli 27.10.13 12:48pm
deceangli
Agoraphobic boarders spend Christmas term indoors 1
Ironduke 27.10.13 12:36pm
AReader
Toilets theft spree. The police have nothing to go on.

Toilets theft spree. The police have nothing to go on...

9
en-hen-man 27.10.13 12:19pm
beau-jolly
Bomb Disposal Unit admit that diffusing homeopathic bomb made matters worse. 1
andhrimnir 27.10.13 12:07pm
Titus
Mastermind chair arrested in Operation Yewtree swoop

The famous black chair from quiz show, Mastermind, has been arrested on suspicion of hundreds of counts of indecent assault between 1972 and 2013. Police arrested the chair in a pre-dawn raid at...

8
jamsieoconnor 27.10.13 11:59am
Al OPecia
Warning That Forecasts Of Gales Are "A Big Wind Up" - But Up Where, is Unknown. 0
Titus 27.10.13 11:44am
Titus