Topic — Add New » Comments Votes Author Freshness
Migrant scrounger story upstaged as distraction by Gary Glitter story 0
Drylaw 3 years
Department of Environment to cull humans in TB affected area 0
Immunis 3 years

In the latest random attempt to stop nature doing what it will, the department of the environment has decided to kill all the humans in a 10 mile radius from Langport in Somerset to halt the spread...

Online Piracy Bill hijacked by Somalian hackers 1
brownpaperreporter 3 years
BMW & AUDI to do away with door mirrors. "They never use them" says spokesman. 6
Al McHogan 3 years

. . . on reflection...

Lord Vader to be stripped of his title, Government announce. 3
bonjonelson 3 years
German twitter users complain 140 characters 'barely enough for an adverb' 1
exigo 3 years
Gary Glitter a shining example to us all, says Pope 0
Shandy 3 years

The Pope has spoken of his admiration and respect of Glitter's recent conduct, as an example of 'how all of us can use strange clothing, repetitive songs, and erratic behavior, in order to distract,...

Police to offer kettle chips and club biscuits at future riots. 1
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years
‘I got too cocky’ admits Cowell, ‘I should have realised it was all about me’ 1
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

Simon Cowell has claimed that falling viewing figures for his repetitive, formulaic talent shows were down to him ‘having got a bit arrogant’, and not because people are slowly realising that...

UKIP to field candidate who is not mental 2
virtuallywill 3 years
‘Napoleonland’ theme park to close at 6.15p.m. everyday. 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

Time to run away, Josephine!, http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/france/9027394/France-plans-Napoleonland.html...

Crime figures reduced by 10% in 2011 0
tedweasel 3 years

See I said setting the font size at 9 would work...

Salmond and Cameron deadlocked over who gets RBS & HBOS. More soon. 0
GreenCross 3 years
Die Hoff and Die Muppets - German press accused of promoting violence 0
simonjmr 3 years
Thames Water find junk in river 7
medici2471 3 years
Dyslexic conservationist "quite the raconteur" 1
Mr Target 3 years

I think we can do without this one...

"You got cocky? Well I got bigger cocky" Kim Jong Un tells Cowell 0
cinquecento 3 years

.. with apologies to Mind Your Language, Benny Hill etc...

Easyjet denies 'degrading' disabled man. "We treat all our passengers like this" 2
Al McHogan 3 years

. . . claims spokesman...

Huge prick becomes self-aware - "No danger to mankind" claims Syco spokesman. 0
Al McHogan 3 years

. . . time for termination...

Increase in Dec sales upsets Ant 0
virtuallywill 3 years

puzzled look later...

Scotland to take its fair share of Romanian Big Issue sellers, insists Cameron 0
cinquecento 3 years
"I got too cocky" says Simon Cowell cockily ... 0
Kramaring 3 years

Please no more soon...

Special forces units gagging to 'neutralize' literally anyone ahead of Olympics 4
Shandy 3 years

The government put on a special homoerotic display of force in the capital this week, as boats loaded with heavily armed burly looking men roamed the waters of London. Sailing down the Thames with...

Thames Water bills to be re-named Chinese water torture 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Government clarifies the out-of-work migrants figure excludes Carlos Tevez 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Increase in Dec retail sales excludes Jan returns of ‘Mrs Brown’s Boys’ dvds 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Mancini urges Tevez to join French Club, “Vada a Bordeaux, cazzo” 0
Midfield Diamond 3 years

ancora fra poco, (Explanation/translation here: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/italy/9022477/Costa-Concordia-Italians-buy-t-shirts-with-Get-back-on-board-for-s-sake-logo.html )...

Feathers flew as Peacocks announced redundancies 0
victimms 3 years
Britain's plan for Olympic glory "will be Homeopathic" claims performance coach 0
simonjmr 3 years

Under new Homeopathic performance metrics that will be employed at the 2012 Olympic games, the British Olympic committee will see a 0.01% and 0.02% medal strike rate as a "roaring success"....

Dental Armandhammergeddon predicted to be minty fresh 0
simonjmr 3 years