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Local Council outlaws Natural Selection

Following a successful campaign to dye toxic pools black to deter swimmers, High Peak Borough has decided to extend the scheme to include other potential dangers. Changing the pictorial...

Wrenfoe 11.06.13 11:00am
swearing policeman tells IPCC to PICC off 1
victimms 11.06.13 10:44am
New GCSEs: Numeracy to be graded A – G, Literacy from 8 – 1. 0
weematt 11.06.13 10:26am
Gove to match rival nations' education with 19th century/Shakespeare led GCSE's 0
weematt 11.06.13 10:24am
It's grim up North but still better than living in Wales 0
irreverendJ 11.06.13 9:44am
Dambusters anniversary celebrations successful 0
NewBiscuit 11.06.13 9:24am
UK economy improves to 'atrocious' rating 0
custard cream 11.06.13 9:08am
custard cream
Rolling Stones to charge people for breathing at Glastonbury

The Rolling Stones have announced that they will charge £50 per person for breathing at Glastonbury. 'We gotta make some dough, man,' said a spokesperson for Sir Mick Jagger's spokesperson's PA's...

John Wiltshire 11.06.13 8:58am
Job of Education Secretary to be made more rigorous

The government today outlined plans to make the job of Secretary of State for Education more rigorous so that only the very best candidates will be considered for the role. In a statement, the...

johnnydobbo 11.06.13 7:51am
BBC apologises for frequent "tits" references in Springwatch

The BBC received 176 complaints about its flagship nature programme, Springwatch, last night as viewers expressed outrage at the frequent number of references to tits. In the one hour programme,...

Erwin Spatula-Ng 11.06.13 7:44am
Erwin Spatula-Ng
Cameron fury at hearing that GCHQ operations are legal

David Cameron went into meltdown yesterday after hearing William Hague promise that all GCHQ operations are legal. 'What the hell's the good of that?' he roared. 'A legal spy operation? Whoever...

John Wiltshire 11.06.13 7:43am
John Wiltshire
Swearing policeman swears he'll have his revenge on the IPCC 0
victimms 11.06.13 7:23am
Turkish P.M regrets his choice of "Smoke gets in your eyes" at Karaoke night 0
Scronnyglonkle 11.06.13 7:12am
Consultants hired to help Tax bureau understand their tax laws 0
Dumbnews 11.06.13 1:45am
Yeo on Sunday Times video: "it's OK, I was lying"

MP Tim Yeo has made it clear that while "I can understand that being caught on film privately boasting about cheating for money looks suspicious", he was actually "lying in private about having lied...

Sir Lupus 10.06.13 11:25pm
Sir Lupus
Google Amends Mission Statement

The search engine company Google has announced plans to radically alter its founding mission statement, “Don’t Be Evil”. In an AgoogBlog (TM) posting, the company states:, “We feel that...

Iggy Pop-Barker 10.06.13 10:44pm
Iggy Pop-Barker
Virgin broadband offers free WI-FE service

more soon....

custard cream 10.06.13 10:43pm
Tim Yeo admits lobbying about Commons cafeteria yoghurt procurement 0
Sir Lupus 10.06.13 10:34pm
Sir Lupus
Militant motorists drive two abreast to prevent cyclists getting past

Lycra clad speedsters infuriated by attitude of Citroen Saxo drivers who 'just seemed to be chatting to each other' as they were trying to get past...

blacklesbianandproudofit 10.06.13 10:30pm
Self-Centred Sailor Condemned for Navel Gazing 0
Iggy Pop-Barker 10.06.13 10:13pm
Iggy Pop-Barker
Thrifty Queen adopts "wait and see" policy on buying birthday card 3
sydalg 10.06.13 10:09pm
Apple unveils new iDrone

The soon to be released IOS 7 for Apple products will allow users to take control of unmanned drones as one of its new features. ‘We at Apple are always striving to take personal technology to a...

Hooch 10.06.13 10:09pm
Police to trial hashtags as crowd control weapon

"When my wife Sonia started to drop hashtags into her ordinary dinner party conversation, I noticed the incredible effect it had on breaking up and dispersing the guests," explained @ChiefInspector...

Boutros 10.06.13 9:49pm
Marshall dies at Canadian GP, tragically rest of HIMYM cast survive 1
Bertrand Twisted 10.06.13 9:20pm
Deaf star brings down jumbo jet in outdoor performance of Helen Keller play 1
Dick Everyman 10.06.13 9:15pm
Deep Purple admit prism was involved with 70s Dark Side of the Moon recordings 3
Ian Searle 10.06.13 8:18pm
Education Secretary wants sloppy mathematicians rounded up. 4
sredni vashta 10.06.13 6:49pm
NSA system couldn't see Gary Glitter's hard drive claims PC World assistant. 0
MADJEZ 10.06.13 6:42pm
Boy George rejects pet komodo dragon. He prefers a calmer chameleon. More soon. 2
dominic_mcg 10.06.13 6:10pm
Hague lauded for keeping straight face during GCHQ statement. 0
Zen 10.06.13 5:31pm